Oprah In Danger of Falling Off The Vegan Wagon

[Guest guest]

Oprah In Danger of Falling Off The Vegan Wagon

 

 

WHERE'S THE BEEF? Oprah, thing she isn't supposed to eat (Photo: Getty Images) After a boozy slip-up with Tom and Katie (those treacherous Scientologist saboteurs) and the loss of her personal vegan chef, we have reason to believe that Oprah's Vegan Cleanse is in serious danger.

In case you haven't heard, Lady O has embarked on a 21-Day Vegan Cleanse with the help of Kathy Freston, a "conscious living counselor" who's recently been making the talk show rounds with her latest book, Quantum Wellness: A Practical and Spiritual Guide to Health and Happiness. With Kathy's "inspiration," Oprah's hasn't just given up animal products—she's also forsaken sugar, bread, alcohol, and caffeine.

But as suddenly as such healthy commitments are made, they are just as easily broken—especially when the person involved is so busy simultaneously saving and ruining the world.

For the first week, Lady O was doing swimmingly without all the fun stuff. Freston lent Oprah her personal vegan chef, Tal Ronnen, who made delicious "feasts" that kept Oprah happy and full. In her blog detailing the cleanse, she cataloged every yummy meal—strawberry rhubarb wheat-free crepes for breakfast, a tasty dinner of asparagus "cream" soup, portobello mushrooms, white beans and spinach, and sweet potato chips. Why that Tal, he even Fed-Exed egg-less omelettes and vegan lasagna to Oprah when she went to Vegas. Being vegan isn't so bad when you have a personalized chef. But now Tal's abandoned Oprah, and all bets may be off.

This past Thursday, Oprah suffered her first slip-up: in the alcohol abstinence department. She gave in and did some celebrating with Tom and Katie and a glass of "crisp, chilled, woodsy Chardonnay." (Chardonnay, really? Is it 1998?) Kathy said it wasn't such a biggie, noting, "It's okay to have a glass of wine and enjoy it. It hurts no one.... Leaning in sometimes means you have to stop, take a rest, and look at the view." That is so right Kathy, but what follows a glass of wine? Chicken broth?

Tal left this past Saturday, and now Oprah's happy vegan blog has quickly gone to a dark place. "Tal left ... the void is immense ... I'm in New York trying to make do," she (or whatever minion writes her blog) wrote, "he had one of the nicest, calmest, sweetest spirits I've ever encountered in a man. His loving energy came through his food. I think that's why we were all so soothed and nurtured by it and looked forward to every meal." Oprah pressed on, trying a popular vegan restaurant, but she noted that while the food was tasty, it didn't have the "same energy as Tal." She suffered terrible bloating from the black bean burger of another. Awful, just awful. She hasn't blogged for several days, and we fear for her.

 

Peter vv,___

 

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