Giving veggies (and tofu) a good name

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http://www.jconline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080924/LIFE09/809240305

So What Do You Eat?

 

That question used to make me cringe -- and sometimes still does.

Answering hasn't gotten any easier during the 12 years I've been a vegetarian and definitely not in the six of following a vegan diet -- one without any traces of animal products.

That's right, no milk or eggs or gelatin, not even a sip of chicken broth or a dollop of whipped cream.

I cringe not from shame or embarrassment of my choice but the droning questions that anyone who has eliminated beef and shrimp and KFC from the diet is asked repeatedly: "Where do you get your protein?Aren't your shoes made of leather?Is gasoline vegan?Can you eat animal crackers?Wasn't Hitler vegetarian?" d

It's enough to turn one green with ... uh, vegan rage. But then I realized it's not me but everyone else. The average person just doesn't run into many quality vegan role models or cooks. Somehow they've all been tainted by "the crazy vegan" -- an old roommate who banned milk from the fridge or a pal's significant other that turned a dinner double date into an ethical debate -- or just thinks we are all dirty, Commie hippies.

Being none of the above, I've taken to helping co-workers, new friends and the clerks who scan me out at Pay Less to get a better idea of all the opportunities of eating animal-free.

Here are some top questions and issues:

 

Vegan food is bland: On contraire! There is more to a plant-based diet than a trip through the salad bar. A few favorites, all made at home, are seitan portobello stroganoff, chickpea and spinach curry, red peppers stuffed with coconut rice and mango, cinnamon pumpkin buns, chocolate chip cookies, and all the prepackaged "fake meat" products out there, plus the new Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos. It is not just twigs and berries.

Dining out is difficult: Many of my favorite vegan restaurants are scattered across the country far from reach. But after two years in Lafayette, I've zeroed in on some tasty, accommodating locally-owned eateries. While Chinese, Indian and Thai restaurants usually offer menu items, a quick call to Bistro 501 and even McGraw's Steak Chop & Fish House results in great meals for myself and the non-veg family.

 

It makes your noggin shrivel: Well, this may not be widely thought but "Eating veggies shrinks the brain" was a national headline this month that almost caused soy milk to shoot out my nose. Unfortunately, many didn't see another article, "Study shows a vegan diet and exercise fights aging."

 

You can't eat junk food: While most candy and cookies have milk byproducts, there are all sorts of chemically engorged honey buns, Oreos, and hard candy that are 100 percent unnatural and animal free.

Potato chips and dark chocolate bars are my junk of choice.

 

Vegans are plotting to take over: I can't let anyone in on that one.

Weddle is a local news reporter at the Journal & Courier. He may be contacted at eweddle

Eric says: Vegan jokes aren't funny: Well, actually some are but the one about PETA standing for "people eating tasty animals" is staler than week old tempeh -- really. I haven't even known a card-carrying member for 10 years. Doesn't anyone have any new zingers involving a rabbi, a pig and a gallon of rice milk?

 

Peter vv