Ask Amy: Friends face off over vegan's dining choices

January 31, 2009

By AMY DICKINSON

Last update: January 30, 2009 - 6:30 PM

Dear Amy: My best friend recently became a vegan.

She no longer eats meat or any animal product, including cheese, milk, butter and eggs.

I have no problems with her being a vegan, even though I do not personally follow this diet and continue to eat meat and other animal products.

The only time I have issues is when she asks me to go out to eat with her. She insists on eating at completely vegan restaurants, and I politely refuse each time. I always suggest a place where we can both find something to eat.

She is extremely critical of the places I suggest, and we usually wind up not going anywhere because she insists on all-vegan restaurants.

Am I being unreasonable asking for a compromise?

She has made this life choice, but should I, as her best friend, have to also follow it whenever I'm with her?

FRUSTRATED CARNIVORE

Amy says: You claim you have asked for a compromise, but according to you, your friend always suggests vegan restaurants and you always "politely refuse" and suggest a non-vegan restaurant. Then she refuses.

This isn't compromising. This is insisting on your way and then, when you don't get your way, taking the highway.

A compromise, however, is definitely called for.

You should agree to eat at a vegan restaurant. Then the next time you eat out, she should agree to eat at a non-vegan restaurant that can prepare a decent vegan meal.

Even the most devoted carnivores probably shouldn't eat meat each and every day. Surely you can enjoy some soy and lentils from time to time.

If your friend digs in her heels and won't ever eat at a non-vegan restaurant, you two simply won't be able to eat out together.

Then it's time to join a bowling league.

Peter vv