Sort of OT but not really - an Update for Veggie Gardeners

[Guest guest]

The husband person, tired of coming home to the wife person's nose stuck deep

into any of the three dozen plus garden catalogs, took said wife person shopping

for seeds and garden toys. (With the admonition that the wife person had to wash

the printers ink off her nose and stick shoes upon her tootsies.)

 

Found some seed at the local Big Lots, but not THE seed I wanted (trust me, seed

formulated for Northern gardens does not play well in 100 degree plus Southern

summer days and I have neither the thyme (couldn't resist) nor cattitude to

stand outside over the rows of seedlings, fanning their little leaves and

misting their little planty faces. It's much like when someone tries planting

Southern seed in Northern gardens. Oh you would not believe the screams -

politely modulated, of course, for even our seedlings are proper Southern Ladies

who wear gloves to compost tea, when those daaaaarlin' seeds discover themselves

in that nasty hard clay soil that is plain COLD.

 

Sooooo that bastion of nifty cheaper stuff was a bust (though I did find a cute

pair of gloves that the husband person, now known as The Big Meanie, would not

let me purchase. After all, he did buy me a huge package of 12 pairs of icky

looking brown all purpose cotton gloves that I'm ashamed for my seedlings to see

me in. Ah well, but I digress.

 

Earlier in the week I had discovered that we have a place here which sells

Southern Seeds, so The Old Meanie (who remained TOM until bribing me with a

jelly doughnut from Krispy Kreme), turned the trusty Ford's nose westward. Soon

my greedy little paws were filled with seed packages and a couple pound bags of

Kentucky Blue pole bean seeds (for the cost of one package holding 30 seeds from

another company). The husband person (I forgave him even before the doughnut but

didn't tell him that) asked the clerk about the little difficulties we have with

our resident deer and rabbit population. The clerk said he had just the thing

and it was completely organic.

 

I think organic is the new buzzword. Remember, loves, pretty soon it will become

totally trendy to be vegetarian and we won't be able to get a loan to buy a

single Brussels Sprout.

 

He handed me the bag of stuff and instructed us in its use, inserting the words

green and organic liberally. I couldn't quite make out the print so asked what,

exactly was in it.

 

Well, my veggie darlin's, ya'll might have screamed. I, however, ever mindful of

my duties as a Vegetarian Group member in good standing and gentle heart and

repotted Southern lady, didst neither scream nor hurl the detested box into his

face, I just gasped (politely) and handed it back to him, found my hankie in my

sweater pocket and started scrubbing any taint from the product off my hands. I

swear, ya'll might have thought I was trying out for the female lead in Macbeth.

 

Oh...what was in it?

 

Ya'll have finished eating, right?

 

Got some gingerale to soothe your tummies if I make ya'll sick?

 

Ya'll sure, now?

 

Dried Blood.

 

Soooooo we'll be doing what I have always done and will plant a large, 4 foot

barrier of lettuce, carrots, greens and beans all the way around the garden. The

corn will go in the middle, same with the assortment of salad greens and

cabbage. The bunnies and deer will munch the sacrificial yummies planted just

for them, though their table manners need improvement. Honestly, the nightly

sounds of them munching and chomping with the occasional bunnie or deer belch

not even hidden behind neatly gloved paws and hooves can put me off my iced tea.

 

Dang. Now I went and made one of you get sick all over her monitor. Oops. That

might have been me.

 

Aaaany way, the product is called Plantskydd Repellant. Even if I wasn't a tried

and true vegetabletarrian, no way would I eat food that had dried blood sprayed

all over it. That's just plain nasty.

 

Love and hugs, Jeanne in GA