quit smoking - Nancy

[Guest guest]

Nancy

Your blog is an eye opener for many parents.mY father also used to smoke cigar

and died before he is 60. I never smoked and i am 70 now. My son is smoking. I

can not stop him.What is your sugestion?

Swamy

[Guest guest]

I wish I knew what the definitive answer to that question is. Unfortunately, I

don't know how to get someone who " doesn't get it " or who thinks it is just a

bunch of hype and that it will not get them....or who thinks, " well, everyone

has to die of something " .

That mind set doesn't help anyone.

 

You see, I sat with my mother in Baylor hospital, with a 9 month old nursing

baby, for the last 4 days of her life. She was in a coma and was being what is

commonly referred to in the medical profession as " being 'snowed' out " . It was

horrible.

 

I held my mother in my arms as she took her last gasping breaths, knowing that I

could do absolutely nothing to help her. I still cry over it, but how could I

have done anything different? She was ALWAYS there for me....she was my rock

all of my life. She loved me so much and I loved her too, but even more after

she was gone and I realized just how smart she had always been.

 

In case, you have never seen anyone you love actually, physically die in front

of you......it is nothing like what the movies and television portray. I don't

believe there is any such thing as an " easy death " . Since my mom's death, I

have not feared " death " ....but, I do fear the " fear " and pain of " dying " as it

is happening.

 

I know that my mother wanted to quit smoking....and tried, many, ,many times.

She died before the era of so many different kinds of aids to help people stop.

Nicotine gum had just come out when she died, but when she was told she had lung

cancer, she never picked up another cigarette again....but, then she died 5

months and 22 days later so it didn't matter. She was religious about getting

by-yearly check-ups and had had one in October of 1983 (she died September 18th,

1984), including a chest x-ray that showed nothing unusual. By January, after

she had started coughing a lot and feeling bad, she went to see a lung

specialist......he found a small shadow in the upper lobe of her right

lung.....didn't think anything of it and suggested waiting a month and taking

another x-ray in February....which she did. In February, it was still there

and the original doctor wanted to wait again.....mother got scared and got a

second opinion......then the diagnoses of lung cancer when they did a

biopsy.....then all of the treatments.....all to no avail and I lost my mother.

My mother's oncologist told me that that small dime sized tumor had probably

been there for at least 10 years and then, all of a sudden, something triggered

it and it started to grow....with a vengeance. Before she died she had cancer

in her spinal fluid, 3 large tumors in her brain and tumors in her

liver......that is how quickly it spread.

 

Twenty-five years ago, there were only a few MRI machines in the United

States.....it is amazing what they can see with an MRI or more advanced imaging

technology today.......maybe that would have helped my mom......I don't know.

 

I can only tell you that after the funeral and we got back home....the first

time I was in a store that sold cigarettes, it was ALL I could do not to pull

every carton down on the floor and stomp all over them just so no one could buy

them.....but, I didn't.

 

Both my late, former in-laws stopped smoking without any " aids " except for will

power in 1981......they were older than my mother and both lived 25 years

longer, passing away at 94 in 2007 and 92 in 2008......of " old age " related

illnesses.....not of cancer of any kind. My late, former father-in-law, told

me that they had to stop one at a time so they would not " kill each other!! " .

Bless his heart.....I loved them both very much.

 

I think the only way any one can, and will, quit smoking is when THEY WANT TO

QUIT------FOR THEMSELVES........not for anyone else. And, even then, it is one

of the hardest things they will probably ever do......because as I said before,

nicotine is more addictive than heroin.

 

I pray for your son to open his eyes and his heart so that he will not put you

all through the misery of losing him to cancer. I don't know how old he is but

if he has ever heard of Carol Burnett.......tell him to do a Google search on

her late daughter, Carrie, who died of lung cancer at 37. She started smoking

at 15.

 

I know we all have to die someday, some how, but do we really want to give death

such huge helping hand? I don't.

Nancy C.

East Texas

 

 

Nancy

Your blog is an eye opener for many parents.mY father also used to smoke cigar

and died before he is 60. I never smoked and i am 70 now. My son is smoking. I

can not stop him.What is your sugestion?

Swamy

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi Nancy,

That must have been very difficult for you. I miss my mother every day. She too

died a painful death, but she never smoked and it was not cancer.

What staggers me is the amount of young girls who take up smoking to lose

weight, I think is is a great shame. When my eldest daughter started smoking I

was mortified. She just said " oh I'll be able to stop whenever I want. " Well she

didn't find it that easy and admitted it was much harder than she ever thought

it would be.

I have never smoked (tried it once in my late teens and thought it was the most

disgusting thing anyone could do). But I have asthma and every time I went to

the Dr's the ? was " how many cigarettes a day do you smoke " -I sounded just like

someone who smokes 60 a day lol.My present GP said I am very lucky I was not a

smoker or I would be in trouble.

Don't know what your laws are like in the States ,but here in W.A. (Western

Australia) we have some of the toughest anti-smoking laws in the country.

I think a lot of visitors to this state find the anti-smoking laws hard to

adjust to, but I think it is great. My children (the eldest is 31) cannot

believe that people were allowed to smoke on buses, hospitals, offices, movies

theatres. They are just stunned when I tell them how it used to be.I think the

bottom line is like any addiction, if people want to quit they will and if they

don't there is not much you can do.

 

Virginia

West Aussie

[Guest guest]

[Default] On Tue, 3 Nov 2009 17:47:18 +0800, Virginia

<artemesia wrote:

 

> My children (the eldest is 31) cannot believe that people were allowed to

smoke on buses, hospitals, offices, movies theatres.

 

Yes, I remember those days here in the USA. People even smoked while

they shopped for food! Ugh. Unthinkable now. Imagine a doctor's office

with ashtrays. Who misses the good old days? Not me.