Guest guest Posted May 1, 2008 Report Share Posted May 1, 2008 Hi All, Thought I have been reading books, hearing lot of devotional audio songs which can move heart, have been praying daily, been around with group of people, still I dont see any change in me. Everytime I committ a mistake I feel guilty and then turn up to things like books, the e-mails from the group, the songs etc. But again withing few days end oup committing same mistake. Evil passions and desired deep in my mind. I dont what to know from where all this is getting originated, but how do we conquer them, how do we overcome them. This is really killing me and bringing lot of pain and unpeacefulness. I would be thankful, if any one can advise me and hope I get some will power to not committ the same mistake. Thanks Palani Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 1, 2008 Report Share Posted May 1, 2008 Dear Palani, This is a difficult situation to find yourself in. We have all been there, no doubt. Bhagavan says 'persist , and all will come right in the end'.See the Chapter in Difficulties in David Godman's collection of Ramana's utterances in 'Be As You Are'. Vasanas are coming out, but they will weaken in time. Bear them with equanimity, rather than judgementaly. The consolation is that the Self knows exactly what to do and when and how to do it . Patience is the great virtue, we need to learn. But persistence, and not wilting, but relying on the eventual abundance of grace to arrive, is the clue. Trust and have great faith in that great power, your own Self which knows the way. Bhagavan says 'surrender, if you need the Higher Power to help you'. The nervous system has to be trained to bear the energy of awakening gradually, or else it could be injurous. I hope others will give their views to help you in your dilemna, All love, In His Grace, Alan --- ksrpal2002 <ksrpal2002 wrote: > Hi All, > > > > Thought I have been reading books, hearing lot of devotional audio > songs which can move heart, have been praying daily, been around with > group of people, still I dont see any change in me. Everytime I > committ a mistake I feel guilty and then turn up to things like > books, the e-mails from the group, the songs etc. But again withing > few days end oup committing same mistake. Evil passions and desired > deep in my mind. I dont what to know from where all this is getting > originated, but how do we conquer them, how do we overcome them. This > is really killing me and bringing lot of pain and unpeacefulness. > > > > I would be thankful, if any one can advise me and hope I get some > will power to not committ the same mistake. > > > > Thanks > > Palani > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 1, 2008 Report Share Posted May 1, 2008 Dear Palani, Your post made me think of this account which I love. I too suffered from excruciating guilt which haunted me for years until Bhagavan took the burden. Maybe that is why this story moves me so much. (And if guilt arises now, I imagine myself holding it like a package in my hands, prostrating at his feet, and laying it there. As for repeating things I know are wrong ... I just keep praying to him to live me.) This is from the Krishna Bhikshu chapter in The Power of the Presence, Part Three, by David Godman: It was a summer evening, and we were all sitting outside in the open space by the well. Suddenly one of the visitors started weeping bitterly. 'I am a horrible sinner. For a long time I have been coming to you, but there is no change in me. Can I become pure at last? How long am I to wait? When I am here near you, I am good for a time. But when I leave this place, I become a beast again. You cannot imagine how bad I can be -- hardly a human being. Am I to remain a sinner forever?' 'Why do you come to me? What have I to do with you?' demanded Bhagavan. 'What is there between us that you should come here and weep and cry in front of me?' The man started moaning and crying even more, as if his heart were breaking. 'All my hopes of salvation are gone. You were my last refuge and you say you have nothing to do with me! To whom shall I turn now? What am I to do? To whom am I to go?' Bhagavan watched him for some time and said, 'Am I your Guru that I should be responsible for your salvation? Have I ever said that I am your Master?' 'If you are not my Master, then who is? And who are you, if not my Master? You are my Guru. You are my guardian angel. You must take pity me and release me from my sins!' He started sobbing and crying again. We all sat silent, overcome with pity. Only Bhagavan looked alert and matter-of-fact. 'If I am your Guru, what are my fees? Surely you should pay me for my services.' 'But you won't take anything,' cried the visitor. 'What can I give you?' 'Did I ever say that I don't take anything? And did you ever ask me what you can give me?' 'If you would take, then ask me. There is nothing I would not give you.' 'All right. Now I am asking. Give me. What will you give me?' 'Take anything. Everything I have is yours.' 'Then give me all the good you have done in this world.' 'What good could I have done? I have not a single virtue to my credit.' 'You have promised to give. Now give. Don't talk of your credit. Just give away all the good you have done in your past.' 'Yes, I shall give. But how does one give? Tell me how the giving is done and I shall give.' 'Say like this: " All the good I have done in the past I am giving away entirely to my Guru. Henceforth I have no merit from it nor have I any concern with it. " Say it with your whole heart.' 'All right, Swami. " I am giving away to you all the good I have done so far, if I have done any, and all its good effects. I am giving it to you gladly, for you are my Master and you are asking me to give it all away to you.' 'But this is not enough,' said Bhagavan sternly. 'I gave you all I have and all you asked me to give. I have nothing more to give.' 'No, you have. Give me all your sins.' The man looked wildly at Bhagavan, terror stricken. 'You do not know, Swami, what you are asking for. If you knew, you would not ask me. If you take over my sins, your body will rot and burn. You do not know me, you do not know my sins. Please do not ask me for my sins.' He wept bitterly. 'I shall look after myself. Don't you worry about me,' said Bhagavan. 'All I want from you is your sins.' For a long time the bargain would not go through. The man refused to part with his sins. But Bhagavan was adamant. 'Either give me your sins along with your merits, or keep both and don't think of me as your Master. " In the end the visitor's scruples broke down and he declared, 'Whatever sins I have done, they are no longer mine. All of them and their results, too, belong to Ramana.' Bhagavan seemed to be satisfied. 'From now on there is no good nor bad in you. You are just pure. Go and do nothing, either good or bad. Remain yourself. Remain what you are.' A great peace fell over the man and over us all. No one knows what happened to the fortunate visitor, for he was never seen in the ashram again. He might have had no further need to come. with love, Ramanamayi (arunachala-ramana.blogspot.com) , " ksrpal2002 " <ksrpal2002 wrote: > > Hi All, > > > > Thought I have been reading books, hearing lot of devotional audio > songs which can move heart, have been praying daily, been around with > group of people, still I dont see any change in me. Everytime I > committ a mistake I feel guilty and then turn up to things like > books, the e-mails from the group, the songs etc. But again withing > few days end oup committing same mistake. Evil passions and desired > deep in my mind. I dont what to know from where all this is getting > originated, but how do we conquer them, how do we overcome them. This > is really killing me and bringing lot of pain and unpeacefulness. > > > > I would be thankful, if any one can advise me and hope I get some > will power to not committ the same mistake. > > > > Thanks > > Palani > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 1, 2008 Report Share Posted May 1, 2008 Dear Palani, Your post made me think of this account which I love. I too suffered from excruciating guilt which haunted me for years until Bhagavan took the burden. Maybe that is why this story moves me so much. (And if guilt arises now, I imagine myself holding it like a package in my hands, prostrating at his feet, and laying it there. As for repeating things I know are wrong ... I just keep praying to him to live me.) This is from the Krishna Bhikshu chapter in The Power of the Presence, Part Three, by David Godman: It was a summer evening, and we were all sitting outside in the open space by the well. Suddenly one of the visitors started weeping bitterly. 'I am a horrible sinner. For a long time I have been coming to you, but there is no change in me. Can I become pure at last? How long am I to wait? When I am here near you, I am good for a time. But when I leave this place, I become a beast again. You cannot imagine how bad I can be -- hardly a human being. Am I to remain a sinner forever?' 'Why do you come to me? What have I to do with you?' demanded Bhagavan. 'What is there between us that you should come here and weep and cry in front of me?' The man started moaning and crying even more, as if his heart were breaking. 'All my hopes of salvation are gone. You were my last refuge and you say you have nothing to do with me! To whom shall I turn now? What am I to do? To whom am I to go?' Bhagavan watched him for some time and said, 'Am I your Guru that I should be responsible for your salvation? Have I ever said that I am your Master?' 'If you are not my Master, then who is? And who are you, if not my Master? You are my Guru. You are my guardian angel. You must take pity me and release me from my sins!' He started sobbing and crying again. We all sat silent, overcome with pity. Only Bhagavan looked alert and matter-of-fact. 'If I am your Guru, what are my fees? Surely you should pay me for my services.' 'But you won't take anything,' cried the visitor. 'What can I give you?' 'Did I ever say that I don't take anything? And did you ever ask me what you can give me?' 'If you would take, then ask me. There is nothing I would not give you.' 'All right. Now I am asking. Give me. What will you give me?' 'Take anything. Everything I have is yours.' 'Then give me all the good you have done in this world.' 'What good could I have done? I have not a single virtue to my credit.' 'You have promised to give. Now give. Don't talk of your credit. Just give away all the good you have done in your past.' 'Yes, I shall give. But how does one give? Tell me how the giving is done and I shall give.' 'Say like this: " All the good I have done in the past I am giving away entirely to my Guru. Henceforth I have no merit from it nor have I any concern with it. " Say it with your whole heart.' 'All right, Swami. " I am giving away to you all the good I have done so far, if I have done any, and all its good effects. I am giving it to you gladly, for you are my Master and you are asking me to give it all away to you.' 'But this is not enough,' said Bhagavan sternly. 'I gave you all I have and all you asked me to give. I have nothing more to give.' 'No, you have. Give me all your sins.' The man looked wildly at Bhagavan, terror stricken. 'You do not know, Swami, what you are asking for. If you knew, you would not ask me. If you take over my sins, your body will rot and burn. You do not know me, you do not know my sins. Please do not ask me for my sins.' He wept bitterly. 'I shall look after myself. Don't you worry about me,' said Bhagavan. 'All I want from you is your sins.' For a long time the bargain would not go through. The man refused to part with his sins. But Bhagavan was adamant. 'Either give me your sins along with your merits, or keep both and don't think of me as your Master. " In the end the visitor's scruples broke down and he declared, 'Whatever sins I have done, they are no longer mine. All of them and their results, too, belong to Ramana.' Bhagavan seemed to be satisfied. 'From now on there is no good nor bad in you. You are just pure. Go and do nothing, either good or bad. Remain yourself. Remain what you are.' A great peace fell over the man and over us all. No one knows what happened to the fortunate visitor, for he was never seen in the ashram again. He might have had no further need to come. with love, Ramanamayi (arunachala-ramana.blogspot.com) , " ksrpal2002 " <ksrpal2002 wrote: > > Hi All, > > > > Thought I have been reading books, hearing lot of devotional audio > songs which can move heart, have been praying daily, been around with > group of people, still I dont see any change in me. Everytime I > committ a mistake I feel guilty and then turn up to things like > books, the e-mails from the group, the songs etc. But again withing > few days end oup committing same mistake. Evil passions and desired > deep in my mind. I dont what to know from where all this is getting > originated, but how do we conquer them, how do we overcome them. This > is really killing me and bringing lot of pain and unpeacefulness. > > > > I would be thankful, if any one can advise me and hope I get some > will power to not committ the same mistake. > > > > Thanks > > Palani > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 " ksrpal2002 " <ksrpal2002 wrote: > I would be thankful, if any one can advise me and hope I get some > will power to not committ the same mistake. > Dear Palani: I do not feel qualified to give any advice to anyone, but I can share as a friend the way I " try " to deal with these kind of situations when they present themselves. It may not work for you, but apparently we both have nothing to loose at the moment. I try not to be so hard on myself, meaning I don't expect to change completely on a fortnight. For guilt matters and the like I try not to qualify actions as " evil " or " bad " , guilt will grow on those qualifications. All emotions that " bother " us have the root on a thought and manifest at the physical level also, so I try to " locate " the emotion in my body and also trace the thought that supports it. Some emotions and lack of will have also a root in the body, not enough sleep, too much sleep, food that is not good for us, some hidden or evident unbalance or desease, I try to check this out. Contrary to what you think (that I respect of course), I do believe that knowing where objects, situations, thoughts, emotions and you-name-it originates is of the utmost importance because it will show us that everything originates in a sense of misplaced identity, namely, we take ourselves to be the body-mind. And if that is not enough, we even feel guilty about it!! I try to be with people that will encourage me without indulging in my self-pity. Besides many other techniques, if nothing works, I turn my mind to, in my case, Bhagavan Ramana (for you may be a different Guru, or Ishta Devata, or the formless Self), and say: " Dear Bhagavan, this load is very heavy indeed for me, I have been carrying it for a long time now and did everything I could without success, I leave it at your feet now, it's no longer mine, you taught me to do so, bye. " It works... In the end, endurance and patience are required at every step of all processes. Oh by the way, the fact that you are exposing yourself (I would say your ego) in such a manner through this list maybe be a good sign that something is about to change or changing already... Good luck friend, Yours in Bhagavan, Mouna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2008 Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 Hello " Commiting the same mistakes " . Man always lives life conventionally, he never contemplates life, thinks and ponders about the hidden motives that drive and lead him, he is oblivious to these driving forces. When these forces are seen, surfaced to the surface of his conscious mind or being, they are no longer hidden to him. When this happens he can discover -for himself- the emotional root which is triggered by the circumstances -which drives man.The circumstances are usually thought forms, a conventional logic behind the emotional root. What is the treatment? Another logic for the same circumstances has to be discovered in order to balnce the sway of the balnce away from the conventional logic, a logic that you discover for yourself by contemplating life or an accepted and trusted logic from a Master or a Guru like Ramana. A logic that you believe in its explicit truth while the other conventional logic is brabded -in your eyes as false. When your logic about the circumstances that triggers your mistakes is balnced, the emotional root will not be triggered and the driving force will be suspended and comes to a halt. So you will not commit the same mistake again.There is no self restrain, it is a change in your belief in the logic that moves you, instead from being moved by the conventional logic, now you are moved by another type of logic -what I call the logic of the Truth. With persistance this logic of Truth will balance the conventional logic and both drop away together. I would like to mention here the example of Sri Ramana: " When your hands are dirty, you use soap then the running water will wash the dirt and the soap, and your hands become clean. " m , " ksrpal2002 " <ksrpal2002 wrote: > > Hi All, > > > > Thought I have been reading books, hearing lot of devotional audio > songs which can move heart, have been praying daily, been around with > group of people, still I dont see any change in me. Everytime I > committ a mistake I feel guilty and then turn up to things like > books, the e-mails from the group, the songs etc. But again withing > few days end oup committing same mistake. Evil passions and desired > deep in my mind. I dont what to know from where all this is getting > originated, but how do we conquer them, how do we overcome them. This > is really killing me and bringing lot of pain and unpeacefulness. > > > > I would be thankful, if any one can advise me and hope I get some > will power to not committ the same mistake. > > > > Thanks > > Palani > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2008 Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 Namaste Mourad Namaste Palani Mourad did explain in a logical and thoroughly way the mechanism which drives us to repeat old habits, old socalled mistaked Please " install " the observer in yourself, who watches everything which goes on in your apparatus - mind, body, feeling, " love " and so on - without judging! This observer is a must - at least imo - it helps sooo much to distance ourselves from whats going on inside ourselves.... in Ramana michael - mourad Saturday, May 03, 2008 12:18 PM Re: Desire? Hello " Commiting the same mistakes " . Man always lives life conventionally, he never contemplates life, thinks and ponders about the hidden motives that drive and lead him, he is oblivious to these driving forces. When these forces are seen, surfaced to the surface of his conscious mind or being, they are no longer hidden to him. When this happens he can discover -for himself- the emotional root which is triggered by the circumstances -which drives man.The circumstances are usually thought forms, a conventional logic behind the emotional root. What is the treatment? Another logic for the same circumstances has to be discovered in order to balnce the sway of the balnce away from the conventional logic, a logic that you discover for yourself by contemplating life or an accepted and trusted logic from a Master or a Guru like Ramana. A logic that you believe in its explicit truth while the other conventional logic is brabded -in your eyes as false. When your logic about the circumstances that triggers your mistakes is balnced, the emotional root will not be triggered and the driving force will be suspended and comes to a halt. So you will not commit the same mistake again.There is no self restrain, it is a change in your belief in the logic that moves you, instead from being moved by the conventional logic, now you are moved by another type of logic -what I call the logic of the Truth. With persistance this logic of Truth will balance the conventional logic and both drop away together. I would like to mention here the example of Sri Ramana: " When your hands are dirty, you use soap then the running water will wash the dirt and the soap, and your hands become clean. " m , " ksrpal2002 " <ksrpal2002 wrote: > > Hi All, > > > > Thought I have been reading books, hearing lot of devotional audio > songs which can move heart, have been praying daily, been around with > group of people, still I dont see any change in me. Everytime I > committ a mistake I feel guilty and then turn up to things like > books, the e-mails from the group, the songs etc. But again withing > few days end oup committing same mistake. Evil passions and desired > deep in my mind. I dont what to know from where all this is getting > originated, but how do we conquer them, how do we overcome them. This > is really killing me and bringing lot of pain and unpeacefulness. > > > > I would be thankful, if any one can advise me and hope I get some > will power to not committ the same mistake. > > > > Thanks > > Palani > Checked by AVG. Version: 7.5.524 / Virus Database: 269.23.7/1409 - Release 01/05/2008 8.39 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 3, 2008 Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 > Hi All, > > > > Thought I have been reading books, hearing lot of devotional audio > songs which can move heart, have been praying daily, been around with > group of people, still I dont see any change in me. Everytime I > committ a mistake I feel guilty and then turn up to things like > books, the e-mails from the group, the songs etc. But again withing > few days end oup committing same mistake. Evil passions and desired > deep in my mind. I dont what to know from where all this is getting > originated, but how do we conquer them, how do we overcome them. This > is really killing me and bringing lot of pain and unpeacefulness. > > > > I would be thankful, if any one can advise me and hope I get some > will power to not committ the same mistake. Desire is a butterfly with crumpled wings tangled in a web struggling, attached. With each twist and every turn, strangle hold tightens. A hungry spider watches. Desire is a gaping hole with fangs like a vampire viced-jaws clamped leeching life down the drain. Desire is a burning itch that doesn't go away... Flames lick like lovers in heat and passion bug bites swelling body and soul... Screaming. " Scratch harder. Bite more! Suck the juice out of us, you whore! We're blistering with disease you gave us. " Insidious trap. Genius trap. Tricks us into thinking it's the cure to make it go away. Stick. Stick. Sticky we stick. Immobilized. We are flies on a floor covered with emotional glue. Why bother struggling to break free? Could just wait for death for release... I suppose I may stick around for awhile. Seems less futile. Oh bitter sweet, Desire, I love you too much to respond. Let's be silent, together in a still mist of truce resting peacefully, fulfilled in each other. I want nothing. (including any revenues associated with the rights to this poem I wrote & copyrighted; take it, just take it... On me) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2008 Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 Nice poem, David - I'd say some sort of desire remains around as long as the body lives. At least in terms of telling you this, as if the desire for 'others' vanishes I think others might vanish along with it. The dream tends to follow desire, thought and attachment pretty closely. Doesn't mean we can't look at unnecessary desires (most of 'em, really) and consider if it's worth the suffering they tend to generate. Nisargadatta stated " freedom from desire means the compulsion to satisfy is absent " , so that's yet another way of looking at things. Tim , " David " <david.bozzi wrote: > > > Hi All, > > > > > > > > Thought I have been reading books, hearing lot of devotional audio > > songs which can move heart, have been praying daily, been around with > > group of people, still I dont see any change in me. Everytime I > > committ a mistake I feel guilty and then turn up to things like > > books, the e-mails from the group, the songs etc. But again withing > > few days end oup committing same mistake. Evil passions and desired > > deep in my mind. I dont what to know from where all this is getting > > originated, but how do we conquer them, how do we overcome them. This > > is really killing me and bringing lot of pain and unpeacefulness. > > > > > > > > I would be thankful, if any one can advise me and hope I get some > > will power to not committ the same mistake. > > Desire is a butterfly > with crumpled wings > > tangled in a web > struggling, > attached. > > With each twist and every turn, > strangle hold tightens. > > A hungry spider watches. > > Desire is a gaping hole with > fangs like a vampire > viced-jaws clamped > leeching life > down the drain. > > Desire is a burning itch > that doesn't go away... > > Flames lick > like lovers in heat > and passion bug bites > swelling body and soul... > > Screaming. > > " Scratch harder. Bite more! > Suck the juice out of us, you whore! > We're blistering with disease you gave us. " > > Insidious trap. > Genius trap. > > Tricks us into thinking > it's the cure to make it go away. > > Stick. Stick. Sticky we stick. > Immobilized. > We are flies on a floor > covered with emotional glue. > > Why bother struggling to break free? > > Could just wait for death for release... > > I suppose I may > stick around for awhile. > Seems less futile. > > Oh bitter sweet, Desire, > I love you too much to respond. > > Let's be silent, together > in a still mist of truce > resting peacefully, > fulfilled in each other. > > I want nothing. > > > (including any revenues associated with the rights to this poem I > wrote & copyrighted; take it, just take it... On me) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2008 Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 Om Namo Bhagawate Sri Ramanaya! Hi, I also suffer from these kind of feelings sometimes. so wanted to put this before you. Accepting things as they come may be the solution to this. Not judging things , that this is good and this is bad. When we get mind into picture then only problem arises.And if we start thinking that I (the ego) am the cause for everything we start suffering . Just surrender and accept everything as it comes. Let Go. I felt like putting this before you. If there is any correction please anyone advice. Thanx Shilpa. David <david.bozzi wrote: > Hi All, > > > > Thought I have been reading books, hearing lot of devotional audio > songs which can move heart, have been praying daily, been around with > group of people, still I dont see any change in me. Everytime I > committ a mistake I feel guilty and then turn up to things like > books, the e-mails from the group, the songs etc. But again withing > few days end oup committing same mistake. Evil passions and desired > deep in my mind. I dont what to know from where all this is getting > originated, but how do we conquer them, how do we overcome them. This > is really killing me and bringing lot of pain and unpeacefulness. > > > > I would be thankful, if any one can advise me and hope I get some > will power to not committ the same mistake. Desire is a butterfly with crumpled wings tangled in a web struggling, attached. With each twist and every turn, strangle hold tightens. A hungry spider watches. Desire is a gaping hole with fangs like a vampire viced-jaws clamped leeching life down the drain. Desire is a burning itch that doesn't go away... Flames lick like lovers in heat and passion bug bites swelling body and soul... Screaming. " Scratch harder. Bite more! Suck the juice out of us, you whore! We're blistering with disease you gave us. " Insidious trap. Genius trap. Tricks us into thinking it's the cure to make it go away. Stick. Stick. Sticky we stick. Immobilized. We are flies on a floor covered with emotional glue. Why bother struggling to break free? Could just wait for death for release... I suppose I may stick around for awhile. Seems less futile. Oh bitter sweet, Desire, I love you too much to respond. Let's be silent, together in a still mist of truce resting peacefully, fulfilled in each other. I want nothing. (including any revenues associated with the rights to this poem I wrote & copyrighted; take it, just take it... On me) Bollywood, fun, friendship, sports and more. You name it, we have it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2008 Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 vanakkam shilpa! when one is engaged in the process of internalising, there is no question of " accepting things as they come " ... when one is engaged in the process of internalising, there is no room for room for judgement " that this is good and this is bad " either ... the mind is essential in the process of internalising but it's The Grace that is responsible for the illumination... surrendering is vital... Yellaam Bhagawanukku samarppanam anbudan shilpa patnaik <shilpa_vizag2000 wrote: Om Namo Bhagawate Sri Ramanaya! Hi, I also suffer from these kind of feelings sometimes. so wanted to put this before you. Accepting things as they come may be the solution to this. Not judging things , that this is good and this is bad. When we get mind into picture then only problem arises.And if we start thinking that I (the ego) am the cause for everything we start suffering . Just surrender and accept everything as it comes. Let Go. I felt like putting this before you. If there is any correction please anyone advice. Thanx Shilpa. David <david.bozzi wrote: > Hi All, > > > > Thought I have been reading books, hearing lot of devotional audio > songs which can move heart, have been praying daily, been around with > group of people, still I dont see any change in me. Everytime I > committ a mistake I feel guilty and then turn up to things like > books, the e-mails from the group, the songs etc. But again withing > few days end oup committing same mistake. Evil passions and desired > deep in my mind. I dont what to know from where all this is getting > originated, but how do we conquer them, how do we overcome them. This > is really killing me and bringing lot of pain and unpeacefulness. > > > > I would be thankful, if any one can advise me and hope I get some > will power to not committ the same mistake. Desire is a butterfly with crumpled wings tangled in a web struggling, attached. With each twist and every turn, strangle hold tightens. A hungry spider watches. Desire is a gaping hole with fangs like a vampire viced-jaws clamped leeching life down the drain. Desire is a burning itch that doesn't go away... Flames lick like lovers in heat and passion bug bites swelling body and soul... Screaming. " Scratch harder. Bite more! Suck the juice out of us, you whore! We're blistering with disease you gave us. " Insidious trap. Genius trap. Tricks us into thinking it's the cure to make it go away. Stick. Stick. Sticky we stick. Immobilized. We are flies on a floor covered with emotional glue. Why bother struggling to break free? Could just wait for death for release... I suppose I may stick around for awhile. Seems less futile. Oh bitter sweet, Desire, I love you too much to respond. Let's be silent, together in a still mist of truce resting peacefully, fulfilled in each other. I want nothing. (including any revenues associated with the rights to this poem I wrote & copyrighted; take it, just take it... On me) Bollywood, fun, friendship, sports and more. You name it, we have it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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