Some Incidents In The Life Of Sri Ramakrishna (As Told By Himself)

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Days of struggleI practised austerities for a long time. I cared very little for the body. My longing for the Divine Mother was so great that I would not eat or sleep. I would lie on the bare ground, placing my head on a lump of earth, and cry out loudly: " Mother, Mother, why dost Thou not come to me? " I did not know how the days and nights passed away. I used to have ecstasy all the time. I saw my disciples as my own people, like children and relations, long before they came to me. I used to cry before my Mother, saying: " O Mother! I am dying for my beloved ones (Bhaktas); do Thou bring them to me as quickly as possible. " [p. 208] 

All desires fulfilledAt that time whatever I desired came to pass. Once I desired to build a small hut in the Panchavati [**] for meditation and to put a fence around it.Immediately after I saw a huge bundle of bamboo sticks, rope, strings and even a knife, all brought by the tide in front of the Panchavati. A servant of the Temple, seeing these things, ran to me with great delight and told me of them. There was the exact quantity of material necessary for the hut and the fence. 

When they were built, nothing remained over. Everyone was amazed to see this wonderful sight. When I reached the state of continuous ecstasy, I gave up all external forms of worship; I could no longer perform them. Then I prayed to my Divine Mother: " Mother, who will now take care of me? I have no power to take care of myself. I like to hear Thy name and feed Thy Bhaktas and help the poor. Who will make it possible for me to do these things? Send me someone who will be able to do these for me. " As the answer to this prayer came Mathura Babu, [*+] who served me so long and with such intense devotion and faith! Again at another time I said to the Mother: " I shall have no child of my own, but I wish to have as my child a pitre Bhakta, who will stay with me all the time. Send me such an one. " Then came Rakhal (Brahmananda). Those who are my own are parts of my very Self. [p. 209]

Distaste for Worldly conversationNothing but discourses on God appealed to me at this period. If I heard worldly conversation, I would sit in a corner and weep bitterly. When I went with Mathura Babu to Benares, I was sitting with him in the drawing-room when some friends came in to see him and began to discuss worldly affairs. " So much we have gained, so much we have lost. " Hearing this I was in tears and cried aloud: " Mother, why hast Thou brought me here? I was much better off in the Temple.

I have come to the Holy City to hear only of lust and gold; but there in the Temple I did not have to listen to such conversation. " I was at this time like a young boy and so Mathura Babu fulfilled all the desires that arose in my mind. My heart and soul, however, were constantly longing to hear about the Supreme Being. [p. 216]

Longing to hear about the SupremeI searched for the places where the Holy Scriptures were expounded. There was a Brahmin in the neighborhood who was a great pandit and who had true faith. I used to go to hear him very often. A saint lived near by on the bank of the Ganges and I wished to go with this Brahmin to see him; but a priest who looked upon the world as a dream discouraged me by saying: " The body of a saint is an earthly cage; what good can one obtain by visiting such a cage? " I spoke of this to the Brahmin and he replied: " He who thinks of God, he who repeats His Holy Name and has renounced everything for the sake of the Lord, must not be regarded as an earthly cage. The priest does not know that the form of a devotee is a spiritual form full of Divine intelligence. " This Brahmin once asked me why I had thrown away my Brahminical thread. I replied: " When the storm of Divine ecstasy overtook my heart and soul, it blew away all signs of caste and creed. 

Absolute franknessDuring this period I was absolutely outspoken. I observed no formality or etiquette; I was fearless. Once I met a rich Zemindar and asked him: " What is our highest duty? Is not the attainment of God our highest duty? " He replied: " We are men of the world; salvation is not for us. When even Yudhisthira, [**] the purest and most perfect of mortals, had to see purgatory in a vision because he had once wavered for half a second from absolute Truth, what can we expect for ourselves? " I could not bear his words and rebuked him sharply, saying: " What kind of man are you that you think of the momentary vision of purgatory? 

You must not think of that, but of Yudhisthira's truthfulness, forgiveness, patience, right discrimination, renunciation, devotion and love for God. "  At another time I went to see a Zemindar who had the title of Raja, and I told him plainly that I could not call him Raja because he was not really one. One day I saw a pious Brahmin who was counting his beads on the bank of the Ganges. I stood near him and knew that his mind was not fixed on God but on earthly things. Immediately I roused him by striking him on the shoulder. At another time Rashmoni, the founder of the Temple, was praying in the Temple while I was singing the holy song of the Divine Mother. I perceived that her mind was on worldly objects and instantly I roused her in the same manner. In amazement she folded her hands and remained motionless before me. vii [p. 218 & 219]

Source: THE GOSPEL OF RAMAKRISHNA Revised by SWAMI ABHEDANANDA

-- Om Namo Bhagavate Sri Ramanaya

Prasanth JalasutramLove And Love Alone