Forgiving & Loving

[Guest guest]

Well hello all,

I'm back in Utah now from my weekend " visit " to my home. This is a trip I make

every 10 - 11 days, out of a 14-day cycle.

I work in Utah.

Anyway, I am just beginning, and am concentrating on my forgivenesses,

recapitulations and " the practice " , and loving it.

I am having some issues I think w/ the forgiveness part of it however.

My dad and I never saw eye-to-eye. He preferred my brother, who swallowed his

bull hook-line-and-sinker. My dad was always quite the swaggerer, bullyish,

loud mouth. Growing up at home was rough as he traveled Mon-Fri and came home

for the weekends. I dreaded the weekends cause he always ruined them over

stupid stuff like he didn't like the dinner my mom fixed. They would get in

terrible fights and we (us the kids) had the pleasure of enduring them night

after night, week after week, year after year . . . .

Anyway, during the forgivenesses, I picture him in the good and the bad and say

I forgive him and send him love, but I don't know if it's happening. How do I

know?

Also, I had a rough weekend at home, my wife and I were completely out of sync,

and had to deal with a lot of outside stuff that wasn't pleasant.

On Sunday morning, I had a dream that she was sitting on the recliner and I went

over to her and laid in her arms and said I was sorry and that I didn't know

what happened, and started sobbing. I told her about this after we had awakened

and cried again.

I guess I'm going thru a tough time. Maybe this is part of the process. I was

also feeling crappy cause I wasn't able to do any of the practice while home.

I'm getting ready to get back into them with a vengence - at least for the next

11 days while I'm up here in Utah (living alone).

 

Love you guys, sorry for venting, hope you don't mind too much and that I

haven't brought anybody down.

 

Peace,

Ray

[Guest guest]

Ray,

 

My Dad played the role of a real jerk here on this earth. I had

thought that I had forgiven him until a few weeks ago. I traveled

to that place between births where we decide what life we are going

to have here. I have been there before but never concentrated on

him or my mother. When I did that I saw how he had agreed to be in

that role (reluctantly) in order for us all to learn the things that

we needed to learn. More to the story but after that experience I

have seen him in a different light. There isn't even any need for

forgiveness, just gratitude.

 

BlessU

Sam

 

, <raazor

wrote:

>

> Well hello all,

> I'm back in Utah now from my weekend " visit " to my home. This is

a trip I make every 10 - 11 days, out of a 14-day cycle.

> I work in Utah.

> Anyway, I am just beginning, and am concentrating on my

forgivenesses, recapitulations and " the practice " , and loving it.

> I am having some issues I think w/ the forgiveness part of it

however.

> My dad and I never saw eye-to-eye. He preferred my brother, who

swallowed his bull hook-line-and-sinker. My dad was always quite

the swaggerer, bullyish, loud mouth. Growing up at home was rough

as he traveled Mon-Fri and came home for the weekends. I dreaded

the weekends cause he always ruined them over stupid stuff like he

didn't like the dinner my mom fixed. They would get in terrible

fights and we (us the kids) had the pleasure of enduring them night

after night, week after week, year after year . . . .

> Anyway, during the forgivenesses, I picture him in the good and

the bad and say I forgive him and send him love, but I don't know if

it's happening. How do I know?

> Also, I had a rough weekend at home, my wife and I were completely

out of sync, and had to deal with a lot of outside stuff that wasn't

pleasant.

> On Sunday morning, I had a dream that she was sitting on the

recliner and I went over to her and laid in her arms and said I was

sorry and that I didn't know what happened, and started sobbing. I

told her about this after we had awakened and cried again.

> I guess I'm going thru a tough time. Maybe this is part of the

process. I was also feeling crappy cause I wasn't able to do any of

the practice while home. I'm getting ready to get back into them

with a vengence - at least for the next 11 days while I'm up here in

Utah (living alone).

>

> Love you guys, sorry for venting, hope you don't mind too much and

that I haven't brought anybody down.

>

> Peace,

> Ray

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Sam,

That's really amazing to think that your dad, and possibly even mine

agreed to be that way to help us learn.

Point right-on about being grateful.

As part of the practice, right after the forgiveness and

recapitulations, I go through the gratefulness rite and usually

address the same things that I'm forgiving, and have realized that we

are all exposed to our circumstances in order to learn from them and

to contribute our reactions to the circumstances back to the

knowledge of the WHOLE.

What you said about your dad reluctantly agreeing to take on his part

just drives this whole thing so much deeper!

 

Wow.

 

Thanks so much for your insight.

 

Peace and Love to you Sam.

 

Ray

 

, " dallyup52 "

<dallyup52 wrote:

>

> Ray,

>

> My Dad played the role of a real jerk here on this earth. I had

> thought that I had forgiven him until a few weeks ago. I traveled

> to that place between births where we decide what life we are going

> to have here. I have been there before but never concentrated on

> him or my mother. When I did that I saw how he had agreed to be in

> that role (reluctantly) in order for us all to learn the things

that

> we needed to learn. More to the story but after that experience I

> have seen him in a different light. There isn't even any need for

> forgiveness, just gratitude.

>

> BlessU

> Sam

>

> , <raazor@>

> wrote:

> >

> > Well hello all,

> > I'm back in Utah now from my weekend " visit " to my home. This is

> a trip I make every 10 - 11 days, out of a 14-day cycle.

> > I work in Utah.

> > Anyway, I am just beginning, and am concentrating on my

> forgivenesses, recapitulations and " the practice " , and loving it.

> > I am having some issues I think w/ the forgiveness part of it

> however.

> > My dad and I never saw eye-to-eye. He preferred my brother, who

> swallowed his bull hook-line-and-sinker. My dad was always quite

> the swaggerer, bullyish, loud mouth. Growing up at home was rough

> as he traveled Mon-Fri and came home for the weekends. I dreaded

> the weekends cause he always ruined them over stupid stuff like he

> didn't like the dinner my mom fixed. They would get in terrible

> fights and we (us the kids) had the pleasure of enduring them night

> after night, week after week, year after year . . . .

> > Anyway, during the forgivenesses, I picture him in the good and

> the bad and say I forgive him and send him love, but I don't know

if

> it's happening. How do I know?

> > Also, I had a rough weekend at home, my wife and I were

completely

> out of sync, and had to deal with a lot of outside stuff that

wasn't

> pleasant.

> > On Sunday morning, I had a dream that she was sitting on the

> recliner and I went over to her and laid in her arms and said I was

> sorry and that I didn't know what happened, and started sobbing. I

> told her about this after we had awakened and cried again.

> > I guess I'm going thru a tough time. Maybe this is part of the

> process. I was also feeling crappy cause I wasn't able to do any

of

> the practice while home. I'm getting ready to get back into them

> with a vengence - at least for the next 11 days while I'm up here

in

> Utah (living alone).

> >

> > Love you guys, sorry for venting, hope you don't mind too much

and

> that I haven't brought anybody down.

> >

> > Peace,

> > Ray

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Sam, hi Ray,

I really liked this mail Sam, your reply was wonderful.

A big hug to you, you are radiant.

Big hug to you too Ray,

I fully agree with what Sam said. When I journied inside and saw really what

my mum and dad have done for me in this life time, I was full of gratitude, it

made me cry actually. All my family. A perfect mirror to reflect myself and all

my karmic lessons.

Much joy and love Elektra x x x

 

 

 

dallyup52 <dallyup52 wrote:

Ray,

 

My Dad played the role of a real jerk here on this earth. I had

thought that I had forgiven him until a few weeks ago. I traveled

to that place between births where we decide what life we are going

to have here. I have been there before but never concentrated on

him or my mother. When I did that I saw how he had agreed to be in

that role (reluctantly) in order for us all to learn the things that

we needed to learn. More to the story but after that experience I

have seen him in a different light. There isn't even any need for

forgiveness, just gratitude.

 

BlessU

Sam

 

,

wrote:

>

> Well hello all,

> I'm back in Utah now from my weekend " visit " to my home. This is

a trip I make every 10 - 11 days, out of a 14-day cycle.

> I work in Utah.

> Anyway, I am just beginning, and am concentrating on my

forgivenesses, recapitulations and " the practice " , and loving it.

> I am having some issues I think w/ the forgiveness part of it

however.

> My dad and I never saw eye-to-eye. He preferred my brother, who

swallowed his bull hook-line-and-sinker. My dad was always quite

the swaggerer, bullyish, loud mouth. Growing up at home was rough

as he traveled Mon-Fri and came home for the weekends. I dreaded

the weekends cause he always ruined them over stupid stuff like he

didn't like the dinner my mom fixed. They would get in terrible

fights and we (us the kids) had the pleasure of enduring them night

after night, week after week, year after year . . . .

> Anyway, during the forgivenesses, I picture him in the good and

the bad and say I forgive him and send him love, but I don't know if

it's happening. How do I know?

> Also, I had a rough weekend at home, my wife and I were completely

out of sync, and had to deal with a lot of outside stuff that wasn't

pleasant.

> On Sunday morning, I had a dream that she was sitting on the

recliner and I went over to her and laid in her arms and said I was

sorry and that I didn't know what happened, and started sobbing. I

told her about this after we had awakened and cried again.

> I guess I'm going thru a tough time. Maybe this is part of the

process. I was also feeling crappy cause I wasn't able to do any of

the practice while home. I'm getting ready to get back into them

with a vengence - at least for the next 11 days while I'm up here in

Utah (living alone).

>

> Love you guys, sorry for venting, hope you don't mind too much and

that I haven't brought anybody down.

>

> Peace,

> Ray

>