More Dance Experiences

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone-

 

I am writing to be sure to have documentation of recent events.

 

During the dance event on 8/6 I was finding again easier and quicker

access to the deeper states. The stimulus of giving the blessing was

proving to be very effective. At one point I remembered that in the

past I would sometimes hold my hand in front of my face when the

ecstatic response would come. I thought that this was perhaps an

attempt to protect myself in a way but it also was like I was

pointing my middle finger at the brow point. So as I started the

effort to go deep again I placed my middle finger at that point. This

got a very strong response. I was attempting to relax as much as

possible and not to move my body around too much and as usually

happens when I do this I started to shake that much more.

 

My eyes were closed and I decided to keep them closed for a while.

Although I knew the room was filled with people I felt as if I was

floating in a large quiet and empty pool. This was a very nice

feeling and one which I find only on occasion and which I take as a

great confirmation that I am finding where I going. After a few

minutes of enjoying the quiet emptiness with closed eyes I decided to

open them. Around me were people with their arms out, not towards me

but just to space as antennae I suppose. I don't know if they were

getting anything from me but it did seem as though they were acting

as a buffer for me from the other dancers.

 

As far as my experience upon reopening my eyes my perception was

different as it will be and I was very aware of everyone's presence

which seemed to be very strong. I started to say my blessing very

rapidly to all around me, this time out loud but just under my

breath. I was still moving very rapidly as well. I was in this

extremely heightened state for a while and then as an aftermath I

began to pacing back and forth in a way that seemed like I was trying

to dissipate the excitation in my body, which may very well have been

the truth.

 

On 8/13 while I was at a party attended by many who participate in

the dance event I attend I suddenly began to feel very low,

compromised, a feeling of fatigue like that of very low blood sugar.

It was very similar to the way I often would feel during my years of

dealing with chronic fatigue. One woman saw me, I told her I was

feeling poorly and she brought me some soup.

 

However I soon realized that an ecstatic state was coming on as

kryias started to make my body tremble. This for me was a very rare

case of the kryias coming upon without any elicitation. If I do just

suddenly go deep I usually only experience my environment in a

heightened way but I do not have the kryias. But this time I realized

that I was going fully onto the ride and knew I should just surrender

and relax. However as stated before concentration on relaxing my body

further increases the magnitude of the kryias as it did so here.

 

At about this time people were gathering in the big room to do some

circle exercises, which I usually avoid. For some reason I decided

before hand to participate, probably just because the idea of these

types of exercises is usually enough to annoy me, so I was trying to

let that go and just be with the group in what they did. But after

the ecstatic state came on I was sure that I wouldn't participate.

However the woman who had brought me soup was in one of the small

groups that had formed which was close to the entrance of the room

where I was milling. She invited me to join them.

 

I don't know what we were supposed to do but everyone was taking

turns sharing about their lives. When they turned to me I told them I

didn't know what was the instruction but that I was having an

ecstatic experience (which I couldn't hide as I was very visibly

shaking) and that when I give a blessing the experience will heighten

and for my part that what I was going to do for each of them.

 

I hit each in turn but with the woman the feeling was so strong that

I started to laugh. Sometimes it seems what I am experiencing when I

pass a blessing is very funny when the feeing is strong enough. There

is also an odd notion that I can really feel that they are getting

what is being passed and this seems hilarious to me, perhaps because

of the oddness of it.

 

The woman in her turn shared that she was having synchronistic

experiences and other unusual intuitive things happening recently.

She said that she didn't know why she had come to this party, didn't

know many of the people, but was drawn to it. After the circle broke

up she told me that she was fearful of an eventuality of experiencing

some of the things I was displaying and that seeing me be okay with

it relieved her a bit. I mentioned the synchronisity she told of

before hinting that this might have been an example as she did tend

to me earlier. She also told me that she did feel the blessing to

her, which is confirmation I usually don't get or pursue.

 

After we broke up I was still shaking much and was trying to find

areas where I wouldn't be too conspicuous but still trying to be with

the others. One woman who knows me said that I must be cold and began

to rub my back. Of course physical contact when I am in it will make

it all that much stronger so I started to shake even more. She said,

" Oh, you're getting even colder. " Well, maybe she didn't understand

but I liked the support and acceptance of my behavior regardless

which made me feel more comfortable about being who I am in the world.

 

Again at the dance on 8/21 I was trying to have a very nonchalant

attitude, that I wasn't anywhere special and that I wasn't going to

do anything there. I likened the environment in my mind to a train

station, a very mundane place which is also full of people. And

really what is the difference? I milled around for a while but

eventually did get down to the usual exercise. But I still tried to

incorporate this disinterest into the practice.

 

After going through the practice for a time with consistent and

strong results I checked back into the disinterest and suddenly I had

a full spinal orgasm which had me look up and take a few steps

backwards. Although not as intense as other ecstatic experiences I

have had It was still rather intense with a stunned feeling of awe

with a degree of bodily pleasure. I liked it because it was such a

classic case and out of exuberance wanted to tell someone right then

and there. But I then realized that this really wasn't something I

was going to be able to share so easily.

 

BBTY4TB-

 

Bret