A personal insight

[Guest guest]

Hi! A warm and loving greeting to you all...

 

I had an insight during my evening's meditations today that I would

like to share with you that feels very significant for me personally.

 

I realised that although I sometimes spend countless hours in mental

realms self-analysing and interpreting my own thoughts, feelings and

actions this is all distraction. And it is distraction from myself,

from just seeing myself. It feels as if my inner eye skits over the

glass and shies away from seeing in. I'm not sure I can really explain

how profound a shift this is for me. I felt I was reasonably

self-aware, I thought I *was* seeing myself and exploring myself but

all I have been seeing in these moments is my own inner distractions,

excuses, avoidances and fears. Almost anything but me. I almost feel

like I can't trust my self-perceptions as they are not real, just

mental constructs. Who am I? I think I no longer have any kind of

answer to that except that I realise I have no idea.

 

Just after I realised this and it was beginning to sink in, I heard

the inner voice of my ancestral spirits telling me that of course this

is a necessary part of the process. How can I see anything at all

clearly without first learning to see myself. Or maybe accepting

seeing myself. Yes, definitely accepting is a better word. I think

this may be quite a hard area of practice for me.

 

I realise as I read this back that even to me it seems an obvious

idea. All I can say is that here and today I have realised this on a

new and deeper level.

 

Thank you for letting me share this with you. I needed to share it to

help make it real and more concrete for me.

 

Peace,

Ruari

[Guest guest]

A very good in - sight to have Ruari -