To Share

[Guest guest]

One of the most painful aspects of the Kundalini awakening in the

Western world was the in ability to share the experience with others.

The isolation was very damaging and that alone has led many to their

deaths.

 

I became estranged from my family and some friends because of the need

and desire to be acknowledged for not being crazy and for having an

authentic experience. Even to this day they have a slight ridicule for

me as they do not and do not wish to understand. I love them as they

are. In the beginning of the process it was difficult.

 

I encourage all of you who are going through this experience to

communicate with this forum. No more isolation. We know that the high

strangeness of this process is only so because of a lack of

understanding in the divine nature of the human being. So let us talk

with each other whenever we need or want to.

 

Share what happens or doesn't happen. Share your deep feelings and

weird experiences and we will support each other in love and kindness

and friendship. -

[Guest guest]

Hi All, I have a small bundle of stuff I'd like to share with you...

 

This post really touched a chord (or maybe a nerve) with me this

evening. I have been avoiding contacting a number of long standing

close friends because I think they don't understand what is going on

with me - and very few of those realise that they don't understand

what is happening to me. I don't feel able, or very willing, to try

and explain to them what I am experiencing. Sometimes I fear getting

lost in myself or the process... being here with you all, and reading

your posts and the free flowing positive energy here really helps me

in many ways.

 

On another level I did try out Shiatsu this week, which was both more

and less than I had imagined. I did feel lots of strong sensations but

I couldn't say if it helped or not. Still I will give it a go for a

few more tries as I did get some useful stuff from the sensations.

 

The most powerful one was when she was working at the base/side of my

throat. I felt a sudden strong panic, that I was going to be

suffocated/strangled/unable to breathe. This does not relate to any

life experience that I can remember (nor was she on my windpipe at

all). Later on I was thinking about this and remembered that

throughout my childhood I was almost obsessed with a desire to know

what it would be like to breathe water. So strong that I had to force

myself not to try it out as I knew it was bad for survival! Both these

memories/sensations ran together and a voice in the back of my head

said very clearly to me, " well of course, you were afraid because that

is how you last died " . Now I'm quite happy to accept that

reincarnation is possible, I certainly think that our spirits are

transformed not extinguished with the death of our physical body but I

had never had any ideas, opinions or experiences prior to this about

how that related to me personally.

 

So I am wavering between simply accepting this as factual information

and well, not dismissing it but letting my mind rationalise it away. I

am finding it difficult to simply accept as fact. I think I am afraid

of turning into one of those people who will believe anything and

everything with no discernment - or maybe I am just afraid of my world

view shifting again!

 

Still doing the safeties, and I've been finding that some of the other

symptoms have calmed down a bit too which makes life more comfortable!

I am starting to get better at disengaging mself from my mental stream

of thought. I find that visualising myself standing on a riverbank and

just watching my thoughts/the water flow past helps me not to get

caught up in them.

 

And on a completely different level, after a few months of fear about

unemployment and lack of work/money and getting quite stressed about

how i am going to pay bills etc. I am starting to get some bits and

pieces of work and potential job opportunites. From next to nothing to

three in one day in fact! I have to wait and see if these actually

turn into ways to feed my family but it has helped me to feel more

positive.

 

 

My love and thanks to you all.

Peace,

Ruari

 

 

 

, " chrism "

<> wrote:

>

> One of the most painful aspects of the Kundalini awakening in the

> Western world was the in ability to share the experience with others.

> The isolation was very damaging and that alone has led many to their

> deaths.

>

> I became estranged from my family and some friends because of the need

> and desire to be acknowledged for not being crazy and for having an

> authentic experience. Even to this day they have a slight ridicule for

> me as they do not and do not wish to understand. I love them as they

> are. In the beginning of the process it was difficult.

>

> I encourage all of you who are going through this experience to

> communicate with this forum. No more isolation. We know that the high

> strangeness of this process is only so because of a lack of

> understanding in the divine nature of the human being. So let us talk

> with each other whenever we need or want to.

>

> Share what happens or doesn't happen. Share your deep feelings and

> weird experiences and we will support each other in love and kindness

> and friendship. -

>

[Guest guest]

Lending this one's voice here to others, most particularly Chrism's to

encouraging sharing of the 'experiential' ... (my aside - while love and hugs

are nice for lists celebrating birthdays/anniversaries and such ) ... this list

is I theel/think/feel about awakenings ... and sharing the directness of 'all

that' with others so inclined ... so I repost as an offering/sharing of my

(re)awakening 'this time around' :

 

I'm a long time meditator, and in my early 50's now, re-started the journey in

the mid 70's ... while I was in my mid 20's, explored my Christic roots by

walking the Via Dolorosa in Jerusalem where I lived for some time in the Arab

quarter... meditated buck naked by the shores of the Red Sea on the side of the

Sinai Desert, contemplating Jesus' 40 days and 40 nights, .. nada ... nuthing.

Came home, and hooked up with my younger sister who had been at the same time,

journeying alone, travelling alone overland through Afganistan, down through

India, to a place near Madras (now Chennai), Adyar, home of the Theosophical

Society ... where she received the I AM teachings of the Ascended Masters. On

her return to the virtual spiritual desert in Canada (yeah Mukthananda was

trotting about offering shakitpat, and there were other gurus ...) ... she got

into the TM-Sidhis ... so I spent a long time sharing a house that was the

'flying centre' in our city ... where 20-30 people

came every 2nd night to 'levitate' ... practicing Patanjali's yoga sutras .. '

light as a cotton fibre' .... whole lotta shakti flying ... I wrote my

journalism 'thesis' based on this 'experience' ... Anyway ... moved from this

.... to Christian Mysteries ... and then re-encountered Cha'an Buddhist texts ...

Diamond Sutra (Prajanapramita) and Sutra of Hui Neng ... which I 'remembered' ..

like a bullet to the brain, nay the heart ... and I was 'gone' gone ... and

followed serendipity ... leading me to Vipassana, and later Vajrayana practice

.... in the early 80's. Along the way I met my partner of last 24 years ... who

was also a meditator ... and now, with the same approximate in between 'hiatus'

that we both took as we took on roles of householders/income earners, now has

also resumed her practice, and long (10 day retreats). Following is account I

posted when I first joined here, taking place about 20 months ago, after I

resumed practice of meditation after stopping

for about 15 years or so ... which I tend to refer to as 'baked beans in the

slo cooker' ...

 

As an aside, I work at an executive level in mental health care field, and my

partner is a (vision) health care professional provider. We have three

daughters, 21, 17, and 10. Our two eldest two daughters are in

advancing/accelerating stages of k-awakening, my wife is not experiencing this

as yet, and our youngest, the 10 year old is in the blissfully happy state of

just Being ...

 

And so I wrote when I joined this forum as intro:

 

" " I was doing Anapanna (mindful breathing) practice in a retreat setting ...

and on the 2nd day ... began to experience pulsating in forehead/pineal region

.... becoming deep/frigid cold in entire nasal area ... pressure exerting on

inside of cranium .. pushing upwards evenly (like palm pushing on inside of

skull) ... elongating spine (sitting in half lotus) ... mouth slowly peeled open

and head tilted back ... as tongue slowly curled back, tip pointing down throat

.... beginning of inward 'journey' like the movie 'fantastic voyage' following

the inner workings of the body ... moving into space ... like being keelhauled

on 'Starship Enterprise' ... cognitive/visual experience of viewing/rapidly

moving through the (earth-bound) archetypal image gallery of this universe ...

rapid flash frames ... interspersed geometric forms, masks seen from the eye of

the beholder changing to the beholden, golden images/chrystaline images,

statuary of antiquity ... and more ... this

settled down in successive sits ... where inner eye became like a scanning

laser ... (absent the instruction of Vipassana technique .. which was to come on

the 4th day) ... and as I explored the body ... zoned in progressively to very

subtle sensations in the throat, plexus, and finally to the heart where there

was at first a dull ache ... as minds-eye focus met the ache ... it suddenly

magnified ... and expanded ... and gradually started to move through the channel

of/from the heart ... over to the plexus ... and up to the throat ... only

problem was the moving bit was figuratively speaking about the size of a

baseball ... moving through a garden hose ... rather like a psychic angioplasty

.... it was PAINFUL ... that plowed through the plexus and throat opening them

up, such that I thought I was dying of a stroke .. as I sat literally transfixed

in half lotus throughout ... my head/crown feeling like it was skewered upright

.... I could not move ... 'it' was doing me ... I

collapsed after the hour long meditation (one in ten-twelve hour long sits) ...

moving after about 5 minutes ... that night I literally 'lived within the echoes

of my heart' ... and came to terms with a new fibulation that persisted on every

6th or 7th heart beat for about 6 months thereafter (then disappeared).

Throughout this over about 2 days (persisting for 5) ... I experienced intense

lower abdominal cramping (constipation .. did not relieve for about 5 days) ...

it was a culmulative experience on all fronts, inner, outer, until 'finale' of

unbidden (hanging in to basic anapana course of instruction) massive release of

energy from base of spine, expressed as whorling release of white light ...

to/thru the medula to the crown/third eye .... and returning ... only on the 4th

day when Vipassana (scanning of the body) instruction was introduced did I begin

to understand the enlivening of the corporeal form, continuous strong awareness

of the energetic centres,

particularly plexus/heart, throat and forehead, and later crown, that had

begun. It was at first painful. It felt like I was being rewired

(literally)... with electrodes all over my body ... mostly on my back ... wired

to my spine ... and some sadistic bastard had their hand on the electrcic dial

and was cranking it up to maximum Gradually it settled down ... when I got

home I remember waking up nights ... feeling like someone had taken a shinai or

bat across my shins ... I could not walk ... and that too settled out ...

 

The emotional 'sequellae' of releases from the heart came later ... as did

what I can only equate to massive eleases of past life 'crap' ... many sankaras

/ mind scars uncoiling ...

 

For months afterwards, my brain (right and left) felt like a bowl of rice

krispies, 'snap crackle pop', as it seemed I could literally feel/hear the

synapses reconnecting in new ways.

 

Later, it all settled down into a sense of continuous (and pleasurable) flow

from base of spine to medulla, over the top of the crown to forehead, throat,

and to the heart (seems to flow both up and down equally now). The experience

is unceasing, and experienced predominantly as flow/surges from the heart to the

crown and around again.

 

It feels somehow all too familiar not to have been doing this before. I

understand and experience incrementally that the veil is slowly parting I think

not for the first time ... there has been much more phenomena on 'inner levels'

in meditation since then, but this description is about the 'physical'

phenomenen of arising new sensations.'

 

Since all that, the progression of experience at the 'physical' has continued.

The inner journey and acquisition of Self-knowledge, which may include

rememberings of 'past lives' and other understandings about the nature of things

and one's relationship to it/them ... is personal ... and ultimately of no

consequence to anyone other than oneself.

 

I've offered the preceding not out of any sense of 'self' cherishing, but as a

sincere offering of this 'one's' experience 'this time around'. I honour the

Presence of everyone here.

 

'Om Gate Gate Paragate, Parasamgate, Bodhi Svaha' ... from the Heart Sutra,

and the words of the Blessed One on Vulture Peak Mountain ... " Gone Gone, Gone

Completely Beyond ... All Hail ... What an Awakening!

 

Metta.

 

Alex

 

 

 

 

 

 

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