what's been going on 4 me - Elektra

[Guest guest]

Hey Elektra - for what it's worth, I thought I would put my two

cents in here, because you are such a sweet person and I really care

about your well being. I have turned down some REALLY nice guys

because I was not attracted to them. On the other hand, I have been

VERY attracted to some not-so-nice guys. But maybe that was just my

karma I somehow chose for this life. And now, I finally have all of

that worked out, but it took awhile. One of the reasons that my

first marriage ended was because I was not (in my mind) as attracted

as I thought I should be. In retrospect, he was really a good guy

and perhaps I should have thought that through a little better. But

that was a long time ago, so who knows.

 

Whatever you decide - I wish you only happiness and support you,

either way. I would just hate to see you give up a really great

relationship and end up regretting it and realizing how much you love

this guy when it is too late. In my experience, the grass is not

always greener on the other side. Just be careful if you do decide

to venture out. There are some not-so-nice guys out there. I would

hate for you to find that out the hard way.

 

And in my experience, everyone has a different mixture of traits

that you like and traits that you don't like. So my philosophy now

(if I were dating again) would be - what traits can I live with and

what traits can I not live with? If you cannot live with the lack of

attraction, then maybe you are meant to go in a different direction.

But I think if I were you, I would first ask myself what it would

take to become more attracted to a really nice guy like that.

Perhaps you just need to reignite that spark, find some adventure and

excitement.

 

Not sure if I should be the one giving advice, based on the

number of relationship mistakes I have made. On the other hand, I

have learned (as my dad would say) from the " school of hard knocks! "

 

Which reminds me of something - one of my neices recently got

married and I sent her an email story of a guy who got off of a plane

and passionately kissed his wife and then hugged his two boys and

told them how much he loved them and how proud he was of them. And

someone in the airport asked him how long he had been gone, and he

said, " two days. " And the other guy said, " Only two days? I thought

you had been gone for months! " Then he asked the first guy how long

they had been married and he said " seventeen years. " And the other

guy said, " Wow! What is your secret to be so happy after seventeen

years? I hope my wife and I are like that by that time. " And the

first guy answered, " Secret? There is no secret. All you have to do

is decide. "

 

Not saying that life is just that simple because (of course) it

is not. But, I loved that story and realized how much truth there

was to it, and I told my neice to never forget it.

 

Anyway, whatever you decide, I certainly won't be one to pass

judgment. Sometimes we have to do whatever it is that we have to do,

for our own reasons. But another thing that I have learned - no

matter which path you choose, there will be both challenges and

blessings, either way. And we always grow from the challenges.

 

And whatever you decide, you are going to have to live with it.

Just make sure that decision is not going to be followed by regret

because regret is a very painful emotion. Make sure that you are for

sure. Because if there is any doubt, then you really need to give it

a lot of thought before making such a life-altering decision. I know

with my second divorce, there was absolutely, positively NO doubt. I

HAD to get away. There was a difference.

 

Just some things to think about, coming from somebody who has

been there. Wishing you the very best and all of my support, either

way. (Big hugs!) I hope you don't mind me jumping in here, but I

just felt the need to speak to you from my heart. And if it is not

what you wanted to hear, then just disregard it, no hard feelings!

Because I can understand that, too. I have often disregarded advice

because it was not what I wanted to hear! LOL!

 

Right now, thank God, the only decision I have to make is what

color I want to put on my walls! And even that confuses me!

LOL!

 

Deb

[Guest guest]

Hi Deb,

Thankyou for your kind and thoughtful words, as

always.

Your advice means alot to me.

 

I'm happy for all the advice here as you are all

helping me to intergrate the lessons I've been

learning lately, on the outer world it seems like a

love vs divorce story, but in reality it is just

another illusion of some deeper inner workings that

are going on, and if anything , using the love of my

beautiful husband (who by the way is super cute, it's

just more that years of nonsexual history between us

depleted alot from hakim's and my manhood at times)

and the raw masculine energy of my catalyst (thats

what I call the other guy involved in this whole

process), like a triangle of energies, a triad, and

using this energy to help me see through the illusion

and make the sacred union on a deeper level.

 

so, now I feel more complete, I don't feel like

looking else where for anything, I'm looking inside.

 

love Elektra x x x

 

 

 

 

 

_________

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[Guest guest]

>>>> Elektra:

so, now I feel more complete, I don't feel like

looking else where for anything, I'm looking inside. <<<<

 

 

Yes, I am doing the same thing, Elektra. Seems like you are

getting clearer all the time. It will all work out!

 

Deb

[Guest guest]

yes Debs,

It's funny how life takes you on these mad outward

journey's that always seem to lead you back to the

same point, inside.

 

Wishing you blessings , Elektra x x x

 

--- Deb <Deb111222 wrote:

 

>

> >>>> Elektra:

> so, now I feel more complete, I don't feel like

> looking else where for anything, I'm looking inside.

> <<<<

>

>

> Yes, I am doing the same thing, Elektra. Seems

> like you are

> getting clearer all the time. It will all work out!

>

>

> Deb

>

>

>

>

>