my story

[Guest guest]

Hi guys

 

I want to just share a little bit of my story in case it is interesting or

useful to others.

 

I grew up in a religion that I would call a Christian Fundamentalist Cult, and

it was extreme

and exlusionary. We were not permitted to see any metaphysical experience as

other than

the work of demons.

 

I was affected by that religion for the first 27 years of my life, whether

directly

participating, or at least believing in the teachings and feeling guilty about

being such a

bad person for not doing the right thing and serving god as they said he should

be served.

 

After one bad marriage with and abusive man who was much the same as both of my

parents, physically and sexually and emotionally abusive, I was finally thrust

out of the

religion and landed with the recognition that I had been 'brainwashed' all that

time. They

basically set people up to be afraid of everything and everyone outside of the

cult, then

that fear creates the reality of bad experiences outside of the cult.

 

I became an Ethical Humanist and an agnostic. I had one experience wherein my

life had

been saved in a rather miraculous way, that appeared to be handled by angels or

spirits,

and so I could not deny the existence of something. But I was totally against

religion and

anything that could seem like religious teachings. I was not interested in

anything

metaphysical. I wanted to recognize LOVE as my god, and realized I had always

believed

in that more than anything else.

 

In my second marriage, I had two children. It became my goal in life to be the

best parent

I could be, and to do whatever it would take to prevent myself from becoming the

abusive

person that my parents had taught me to be. It got really hard a couple of

years ago when

my children were 2 and 5, and my marriage was not good. We did not fight, but

there was

this anger energy bouncing off the walls in our house. Everyone got sick at the

same time,

my husband with Lyme Disease, my son with chronic inflamation of the eustachian

tubes,

and my daughter with cavities which are also an immune dysfunction. I have

always been

into nutritional healing and holistic methods. My children have been raised

mostly organic

and without vaccinations since my son had severe reaction to DTaP and I did the

research

on all the toxins in the injections. Naturally, I went on a path of natural

healing to find the

solution for both of my children's problems. Western medicine would have my son

have

surgery and tubes in his ears. I knew there was something deeper that needed to

be

resolved. We went to a chiropractor, as I heard this would help. Then I took

him to a

'healer' even though I wasn't sure I could accept mentally that healings would

come from

'god'. The combination of dietary recommendations from the healer and some

hands-on

work he did on Frantz were the only things that really helped his ears and

hearing. I

ended up getting crippled with back problems myself at the time and started

getting

adjustments from the chiropractor. I also took a session with the healer. I

was also going

to a therapist who is a life coach. The combination of all of these things, and

realizing in

the end that my relationship with my husband was so toxic and the anger was

making all

of us ill, I realized I had to leave. I can't remember if it was before that or

after, but I also

picked up a book about raising children that said they really need spirituality

in their lives.

Since I was not comfortable with most religious teachings, I remembered one that

I could

handle. I had dreams about a Native American diety when I was a child, and I

decided to

teach my children about the Great Spirit and pray to him with them.

 

The combination of all of these experiences triggered something. I began having

what it

seems you are calling OBE's. I called them visions. One was of the

chiropractor and me,

but the others were of various religious connections. My body would be

vibrating like

nothing I ever felt before, and I was flying through space. I was reaching up

in the

heavens, and all of these powerful beings were shouting 'praise the lord,

hallelujah' and

trying to pull me up. I had to repeat what they were saying, and I was very

afraid. Other

visions turned out to be related to the Tibetan Buddhist lineage that I was

later led to.

Spirits were taking over my body and driving me around in my car. I was led up

to

chiropractor offices, to churches, and to the Tibetan Buddhist monastery over

and over. I

kept getting flows of information in my head. I understood that the truth is

within us, in

our hearts, and we can find it no matter what path we are on. I finally

accepted what good

there is in all religion, and saw clearly that I accepted them all and also

connected with

none of them at the same time. I recognized that everything I did was guided.

I was

seemingly channeling these buddhist spirits at times, and especially when I was

at the

chiropractor, who turned out to be a Tibetan Buddhist. Before I knew about

that, I was

guided to give him a statue of the Shakyamuni Buddha, which I did not know

anything

about, and it turned out that he had been praying to that buddha that morning

and was

about to travel to India for retreat at the place where Buddha sat under the

bodhi tree. I

was also led to do many other things that were unbeleivable to me. I was guided

to buy a

painting of Saraswati, although I knew nothing of who she was, and then she

started

turning up everywhere. My brother in Delaware found a picture of a tattoo that

he liked,

and he painted it, and sent me a photo. It was the chinese Saraswati. He

didn't know what

it was. I was guided to get involved with a Lama who told me that he was doing

a very

powerful Manjushri practice, and that Saraswati was the consort of Manjushri.

Other

similar things came up. Other things that came up were a spontaneous healing

experience where I felt pain in my body and couldn't figure out why, then I

realized it was

coming from my cousin in the bedroom, and somehow I knew to run in there and put

my

hands on her until all the pain vanished in both of our bodies. And one time

she saw me

in the room downstairs and tried to speak to me, and I was physically in the

upstairs room.

She was shocked when she realized this.

 

Interestingly, I was fascinated and followed my experiences, but never thought

to try to

find a name for what I was going through. I had no idea there would be one. I

finally did,

a few months ago, get the information that cleared it up for me that this was

all Kundalini.

I was so releived to have a name for it. Mostly the ugly part is the reason. I

behaved

almost like a crazy stalker with that chiropractor, sending him letters and

emails after he

asked me to stop. That whole thing was painful. And it took this whole year

for me to get

past it. I was obsessed.

 

so I have been on my own with my two children since November of last year, and

my

cousin has been staying with us and she worked as a nanny until the summer, so

that was

very helpful. it seems I am being given the gift of whatever it takes for me to

be a better

mother. I have found myself working every day to become a better person,

forgiving,

loving, and healing myself and others. I am so grateful for the gift the

universe is giving

in this opportunity. I am seeing every day how very blessed I am to have these

children

who have led me on this path. I am now having the opportunity to be useful in

helping

others to heal in so many ways, and meanwhile healing myself and my children.

 

Much love to all of you who are sharing this incredible journey

Mandrea (Michelle)

[Guest guest]

thankyou again Mandrea for sharing your story, nothing

in life helps more then to read, or share in anothers

true life happenings....

Me and my husband were commenting the other day how we

think it's more difficult for people coming from

extreme religious back grounds to open their minds and

find their power, I have a lot of respect for people

that manage it.

 

isn't life just like a movie? But even more

fantastical.....

 

So much love sent to you lovely Mandrea,

and to your children,

Elektra x x x

 

 

 

_________

NEW Cars - sell your car and browse thousands of new and used cars

online! http://uk.cars./

[Guest guest]

thanks so much Elektra

 

yes the religion thing made it really hard

 

my healer saw that I was actually opened up once before, when I was 23 (which is

when i

got kicked on the head on 14th street in NYC, and he says it opened my third eye

Chakra)

but i was nowhere near ready to deal. That started me on meds for depression

and PTSD

from childhood trauma, and it took until 36 years old to actually get lined up

to see this

stuff and accept it into my experience, and an amazing therapist that was

brought into my

life by spirit, I'm sure!

 

Mandrea

 

 

 

, Elektra Fire

<elektra.fire

wrote:

>

> thankyou again Mandrea for sharing your story, nothing

> in life helps more then to read, or share in anothers

> true life happenings....

> Me and my husband were commenting the other day how we

> think it's more difficult for people coming from

> extreme religious back grounds to open their minds and

> find their power, I have a lot of respect for people

> that manage it.

>

> isn't life just like a movie? But even more

> fantastical.....

>

> So much love sent to you lovely Mandrea,

> and to your children,

> Elektra x x x

>

>

>

> _________

> NEW Cars - sell your car and browse thousands of new and used cars

online!

http://uk.cars./

>