Hello from a new member

[Guest guest]

Hi Chris and hello all,

 

Thanks again for inviting me to be a part of this group. Alex told

me

about it a month or so ago. For some years I was a member of

another

kundalini list; being a part of that group was helpful in

understanding

the process and forces at work through k at that time, and I look

forward to getting to know everyone's story here, and learning of

the

different ways kundalini has/is manifested in your lives.

 

I had a kundalini opening in 1992. At the time of the k awakening,

I

was 32, living in Chicago, teaching in the housing projects, and had

been practicing TM (transcendental meditation) for 18 years at that

point. I was quite sick with CFS, and had been for a couple of

years--

in a lot of pain and barely functional beyond just getting to work

and

back, a real feat sometimes. So at that time, I increased my

meditation periods, out of a desperate wish to find a way to find

meaning in a life experience that had become really oppressive due

to

ongoing illness/pain. I didn't know anything about kundalini and

didn't expect anything out of the ordinary from the increased

meditation practice--mainly I hoped it would lead to some peace or

insight into the struggles of that time.

 

The opening was unexpected and unknown, and transformed my

life/worldview overnight, bringing states of bliss and devotional

ecstasy and a complete, one-pointed spiritual drive, a compelling

wish

to point my life in the direction that this experience was taking

it.

The opening of the energy up the spine and through the top of the

head,

bringing an ecstatic or transcendent state of pure light, was the

beginning of daily experiences of the k energy, and a complete

remaking

of self on every level--spiritually first and foremost, and

transforming in its wake the physical and mental and emotional

aspects

of being. The course of 'symptoms' and manifestations has been

ongoing

daily since that time, and has involved everything from altered

states

of consciousness to automatic yoga postures and mudras, speaking in

unknown languages, seeing new aspects of being-energy fields, etc.,

experiencing emotional and other life content of others, both near

and

at a distance, as well as physical stuff, a remaking of the body

along

healthier lines, which has brought in its wake unusual periods of

imbalance (being covered with hives for 6 months, for example, with

no

known explanation) and movements of energy in the system.

 

The first years with this energy were very challenging. Often I

would

experience waves of abject fear/terror or other emotions arising

without any relative context in the 'outer' life. I was easily

exhausted, and also unable to filter the information or feelings

that

came from others and the field around me. For about 8 years the

energy

really seemed to burn too high, too fast. If I practiced any

spiritual

practices, meditation, etc. was difficult as there would be an

acceleration of the processes. There seemed to be too much energy

in

the upper centers and not enough grounding. Meditating produced a

lot

of nerve pain, and I also had a difficult time re-entering normal

consciousness, being grounded in the body, if I meditated.

Listening

to chants, seeing images of spiritual figures, could produce a loss

of

outer consciousness, and, I don't know how to describe it, but I

would

go into another state and fall down, be unable to remain standing or

doing whatever I had been doing.

 

For about the past 6 years the pace has been much more 'normal'.

There

is a continual and gradual clearing of all the systems and an

increasing level of that steady deepening peace through all

activity.

I can once again do short meditations and other things without doing

any apparent harm to the body or to functioning. Over the course

of

these years with kundalini, I've maintained an active, functional

professional life, but in recent years this has been much more

feasible, less a struggle to integrate the wild ride of kundalini

with

life in the physical.

 

In relation to today's discussion about 'what next' and what the

entry

of the energy into different centers means, I don't know if I could

frame my own experience within the context of the literature either,

Selena. From the beginning I sensed that this is a speeded up path

to

enlightenment, speeded up from before the kundalini, and definitely

directed by K and not by the individual---but a faster journey of

cleaning, clearing, opening to the light, to realization. The

opening

of the crown center for me was just the beginning; then the energy

began to work on every aspect of being, and that has been the case

since--slow and steady, or fast and unsteady, and who knows what

comes

next?

 

Peace,

 

J.