Seasonal Humor

[Guest guest]

The 12 Days Of Christmas (For the politically correct)

 

 

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my

Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave

to

me:

 

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,

 

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of

members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for

in

their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a

note),

 

TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal

ruling class system leaping,

 

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

 

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products

from enslaved Bovine-Americans,

 

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,

 

SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal

products,

 

FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic

incarceration,

 

(NOTE after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw

red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge

have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further

Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been

revised.)

 

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs

 

THREE deconstructionist poets

 

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses

 

AND a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

 

 

 

Thanks to Mary Campbell