Guest guest Posted January 11, 2007 Report Share Posted January 11, 2007 hi to all you lovely, loving and beautiful people here... I wanted to stick my head up and say hello and to tell you all that if I have not responded to any requests for prayers etc. it has not been because you all are not in my thoughts but because currently my own state is so unstable that I don't wish to negatively affect anyone else with my energies. But now I have had a few experiences in the past week and I need to share some things in a place where hopefully I won't be bombarded with people telling me I need to find a different way of doing things... I need to explain, as I think I have said before, I work a lot with ancestral spirits, my life is dedicated to service of them and the Higher Good of all, in this in my eyes we are all relatives... Part of what I am led to do involves being available to members of my tribe to allow them to speak with past ancestors if they ask. I suppose it is similar to channeling although I personally feel very uncomfortable with that word - for me it is that over twenty odd years I have learnt how to put my 'self' to one side and allow the ancestors space. And it isn't an ego thing, very few people know i do this, I don't accept any payment, I don't go around telling anyone, except people in my tribe who ask for it. And this process has a lot of side effects... in a way my whole awakening is an integral part of this process as it was They who kick started it all in order that I would be " fit " to give them and others service. Every time I perform this ceremony I experience really severe kriyas afterwards (really good for making sure that you can't try and appear all-important if you are twitching and fitting on the floor!), both immediately and intermittently for a few weeks or even months. Until I found out about kundalini and you all I thought I was lost in some weird internal madness. Anyhow part of these kriyas is the 'me' fitting itself back into my body and part of it is to do with that 'me' having gained some healing on other planes and coming back a little bit healthier and so needing to clear my body of old past pains etc. Now I know that this is uncomfortable, I know that I will feel like crap both physically, emotionally and mentally. It makes me feel completely raw and I am flooded with all the intensity of long forgotten hurts as they are freed in my body and released. And I also know that it is necessary and needed and ultimately a great blessing an opportunity for healing for me. I understand this. Unfortunately other people don't and at the moment I have two very dear friends, one a shaman within my tribe and one a life-long heart friend and also a shaman who are persistently trying to persuade me that " there must be a way to make it easier on me " . I keep trying to tell them that I have no desire to be a masochist, and it's not some self-serving tragic-hero thing, it is a chance for me to eventually be healed and whole and free of the terrible hurts I experienced in younger live/s. But I tell them that and I see that they do not understand and they still think there is a 'better way'. Practicing what chrism and all of you have shared here has helped to finally understand that the only right thing to do is to let go and surrender to this, to allow the energy to find it's own form of release. Trying to control or change it is interfering with Shakti, with the universal flow and I do not pretend to know how best to become fit and healed but I trust that those greater powers than me do.. This is making it at times very hard for me, I am at this minute right in the middle of one of these phases as a cousin came to visit and asked for this ceremony and I am now around halfway through the cycle before I come back out again. In this state I feel very vulnerable and even more needing reassurance and understanding than usual and I feel like I am being told off almost, even though I know it is with love in their hearts. I am sharing all this with you here because I have read so many deep and personal sharings that it feels kind of dishonest to hold back from you, and because selfishly I am hoping that the people here will be able to understand what I am saying and can reflect some of that understanding back to me whilst I am feeling so fragile and raw. Thank you for listening, I hold you all in my prayers and give you love without conditions from my heart, peace, Ruari macNeill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2007 Report Share Posted January 11, 2007 Hello Ruari, It can be most difficult for those not understanding of Kundalini to see it or know of its actions upon the body. Just to see a person begin to shake can have a traumatic effect on those viewing it. They reach for the phone to call 911 or a hospital. So do your best to release and love and surrender and forgive. Your path will brighten their way. - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2007 Report Share Posted January 12, 2007 Thanks Rauri for sharing your life experiences with us all. I can't say I fully understand what it is you are going through, but it sounds fascinating, I have only heard of this kind of thing in shamanism. My sister in law talked to me of spirits coming into her for release, she said they looked scary at first, like monsters, but when she became one with them, inside her body, she saw through their eyes and they only saw beauty. She was filled with love and healing. Not the same as you I know, but you just reminded me of that story she told me. It sounded so beautiful. I wish you blessings and to your ancestors. with love and understanding Elektra x x x _________ All New Mail – Tired of unwanted email come-ons? Let our SpamGuard protect you. http://uk.docs./nowyoucan.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2007 Report Share Posted January 13, 2007 thank you for this, chrism. It has really helped me stay open hearted through this and today was especially sad as one of my shaman friends has told me today that she cannot be near me anymore whilst this is going on as she finds it too difficult to let me be and not to jump in and try and 'fix' me. This translates into her also saying that our friendship has to be limited to purely 'mundane' conversations until (if ever) she finds a different way of seeing this process. I am very sad about this, and trying really hard to acknowledge her love and not get angry or frustrated about this. yet again, I'm finding that practising the safeties is really helping me to stay steady, especially the forgivenesses. It helps me to let go of the anger and feelings of rejection and try to focus on the good stuff and the love and care I feel for my friend. And hardest of all is the lack of understanding from her that this is not something I can stop, or undo (nor would I if I could). It looks like a lonelier path today than yesterday though... love and peace, Ruari , chrism <> wrote: > > Hello Ruari, > It can be most difficult for those not understanding of Kundalini to see it or know of its actions upon the body. Just to see a person begin to shake can have a traumatic effect on those viewing it. They reach for the phone to call 911 or a hospital. So do your best to release and love and surrender and forgive. Your path will brighten their way. - > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2007 Report Share Posted January 13, 2007 Love and greetings to you Electra, and thank you too so much for your kind thoughts, I suppose what I do is a bit like shamanism, most anthropologosts call this kind of thing " shamanistic mediumship " but that makes it all sound a bit grand to me For me it is just something I have been led to do in service. I have received so much support and aid from ancestral spirits in times of crisis that I feel I am just balanced the debt by doing this. They are not scary at all though, it's can feel that way from the outside because there is a need to surrender the ego and the sense of self to a higher purpose. All good practice for the work of Shakti, I suppose!!! love and hugs, Ruari , Elektra Fire <elektra.fire wrote: > > Thanks Rauri for sharing your life experiences with us > all. I can't say I fully understand what it is you are > going through, but it sounds fascinating, > I have only heard of this kind of thing in shamanism. > > > My sister in law talked to me of spirits coming into > her for release, she said they looked scary at first, > like monsters, but when she became one with them, > inside her body, she saw through their eyes and they > only saw beauty. She was filled with love and healing. > Not the same as you I know, but you just reminded me > of that story she told me. It sounded so beautiful. > > I wish you blessings and to your ancestors. > with love and understanding > Elektra x x x > > > > _________ > All New Mail – Tired of unwanted email come-ons? Let our SpamGuard protect you. http://uk.docs./nowyoucan.html > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2007 Report Share Posted January 13, 2007 Ouch! That was so unnecessary! Your Shaman friend should know of this energy. (Sigh) They perhaps just do not want to understand as it is so far out of the reality they have immersed themselves in. Not time for them yet. You Ruari must continue and though it is sad that someone would base a friendship on positions of power ( which is how I am seeing this) you are very, very, special and let no person interfere with your process. This is still very uncommon for the general population so rest easy and be content to let your fiend rest easy as well. Are you meditating and what is the status of your movements ie kriyas and shaking etc.? - Ruari <spirit wrote: thank you for this, chrism. It has really helped me stay open hearted through this and today was especially sad as one of my shaman friends has told me today that she cannot be near me anymore whilst this is going on as she finds it too difficult to let me be and not to jump in and try and 'fix' me. This translates into her also saying that our friendship has to be limited to purely 'mundane' conversations until (if ever) she finds a different way of seeing this process. I am very sad about this, and trying really hard to acknowledge her love and not get angry or frustrated about this. yet again, I'm finding that practising the safeties is really helping me to stay steady, especially the forgivenesses. It helps me to let go of the anger and feelings of rejection and try to focus on the good stuff and the love and care I feel for my friend. And hardest of all is the lack of understanding from her that this is not something I can stop, or undo (nor would I if I could). It looks like a lonelier path today than yesterday though... love and peace, Ruari , chrism <> wrote: > > Hello Ruari, > It can be most difficult for those not understanding of Kundalini to see it or know of its actions upon the body. Just to see a person begin to shake can have a traumatic effect on those viewing it. They reach for the phone to call 911 or a hospital. So do your best to release and love and surrender and forgive. Your path will brighten their way. - > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2007 Report Share Posted January 13, 2007 Hug, Rauri. I feel your pain. Trust the process. Things happen for a reason, and this may turn out to be a blessing in disguise. Just go with the flow and know Shakti has your best interests in mind. Try not to feed more into it than what is there, the lady is just taking some space for a while. As she sees your journey she may begin to understand. Trust...love, dhyana --- Ruari <spirit wrote: > thank you for this, chrism. It has really helped me > stay open hearted > through this and today was especially sad as one of > my shaman friends > has told me today that she cannot be near me anymore > whilst this is > going on as she finds it too difficult to let me be > and not to jump in > and try and 'fix' me. This translates into her also > saying that our > friendship has to be limited to purely 'mundane' > conversations until > (if ever) she finds a different way of seeing this > process. I am very > sad about this, and trying really hard to > acknowledge her love and not > get angry or frustrated about this. yet again, I'm > finding that > practising the safeties is really helping me to stay > steady, > especially the forgivenesses. It helps me to let go > of the anger and > feelings of rejection and try to focus on the good > stuff and the love > and care I feel for my friend. And hardest of all is > the lack of > understanding from her that this is not something I > can stop, or undo > (nor would I if I could). It looks like a lonelier > path today than > yesterday though... > > love and peace, > Ruari > > > > > > --- In > , > chrism > <> wrote: > > > > Hello Ruari, > > It can be most difficult for > those not > understanding of Kundalini to see it or know of its > actions upon the > body. Just to see a person begin to shake can have a > traumatic effect > on those viewing it. They reach for the phone to > call 911 or a > hospital. So do your best to release and love and > surrender and > forgive. Your path will brighten their way. - > > > > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > > > > > ______________________________\ ____ Don't pick lemons. See all the new 2007 cars at Autos. http://autos./new_cars.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2007 Report Share Posted January 13, 2007 Surly this will pass too and a new day dawn for you. Alphu-s. : Novalees: Sat, 13 Jan 2007 22:05:50 -0800Re: Re: Needing understanding... Hug, Rauri. I feel your pain. Trust the process.Things happen for a reason, and this may turn out tobe a blessing in disguise. Just go with the flow andknow Shakti has your best interests in mind. Try notto feed more into it than what is there, the lady isjust taking some space for a while. As she sees yourjourney she may begin to understand. Trust...love,dhyana--- Ruari <spirit wrote:> thank you for this, chrism. It has really helped me> stay open hearted> through this and today was especially sad as one of> my shaman friends> has told me today that she cannot be near me anymore> whilst this is> going on as she finds it too difficult to let me be> and not to jump in> and try and 'fix' me. This translates into her also> saying that our> friendship has to be limited to purely 'mundane'> conversations until> (if ever) she finds a different way of seeing this> process. I am very> sad about this, and trying really hard to> acknowledge her love and not> get angry or frustrated about this. yet again, I'm> finding that> practising the safeties is really helping me to stay> steady,> especially the forgivenesses. It helps me to let go> of the anger and> feelings of rejection and try to focus on the good> stuff and the love> and care I feel for my friend. And hardest of all is> the lack of> understanding from her that this is not something I> can stop, or undo> (nor would I if I could). It looks like a lonelier> path today than> yesterday though... > > love and peace,> Ruari> > > > > > --- In> ,> chrism> <> wrote:> >> > Hello Ruari,> > It can be most difficult for> those not> understanding of Kundalini to see it or know of its> actions upon the> body. Just to see a person begin to shake can have a> traumatic effect> on those viewing it. They reach for the phone to> call 911 or a> hospital. So do your best to release and love and> surrender and> forgive. Your path will brighten their way. -> > > > > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been> removed]> >> > > > ________Don't pick lemons.See all the new 2007 cars at Autos.http://autos./new_cars.html _______________ Be one of the first to try Windows Live Mail. http://ideas.live.com/programpage.aspx?versionId=5d21c51a-b161-4314-9b0e-4911fb2\ b2e6d Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2007 Report Share Posted January 14, 2007 Hi Ruari, Don't let this hurt you too bad. Just like anything in life, relationships keep changing. This phase of estrangement is not carved in stone; be patient, and eventually your friend will understand--especially since she is a shaman! Love, Sel , " Ruari " <spirit wrote: > > thank you for this, chrism. It has really helped me stay open hearted > through this and today was especially sad as one of my shaman friends > has told me today that she cannot be near me anymore whilst this is > going on as she finds it too difficult to let me be and not to jump in > and try and 'fix' me. This translates into her also saying that our > friendship has to be limited to purely 'mundane' conversations until > (if ever) she finds a different way of seeing this process. I am very > sad about this, and trying really hard to acknowledge her love and not > get angry or frustrated about this. yet again, I'm finding that > practising the safeties is really helping me to stay steady, > especially the forgivenesses. It helps me to let go of the anger and > feelings of rejection and try to focus on the good stuff and the love > and care I feel for my friend. And hardest of all is the lack of > understanding from her that this is not something I can stop, or undo > (nor would I if I could). It looks like a lonelier path today than > yesterday though... > > love and peace, > Ruari > > > > > > , chrism > <@> wrote: > > > > Hello Ruari, > > It can be most difficult for those not > understanding of Kundalini to see it or know of its actions upon the > body. Just to see a person begin to shake can have a traumatic effect > on those viewing it. They reach for the phone to call 911 or a > hospital. So do your best to release and love and surrender and > forgive. Your path will brighten their way. - > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2007 Report Share Posted January 14, 2007 Thank you for the kind words and support, it has really helped me get through this. I've been thinking about it on and off all day and I think the reason she finds it (currently) impossible to cope with is that I surrender to it willingly and she cannot imagine that giving up control to something else can be a good thing.. It doesn't matter that she takes advice from other beings in her shamanic work, she apparently sees a difference between that and me surrendering to the flow of the K-energy and the effects it has. As for my movements etc, at the moment it is quite active. The full-on shaking etc. tends to only happen when I am lying down - it is an agreement I made with the energy that if it eased off in the day then I would give it space when I was at rest. But I am getting quite a lot of occasional twitches and jerking during the day as well and often feeling very tired and the amount of foods I can stomach to eat has recently reduced radically. I feel that a new wave is rising and that is the reason for this extra activity so today I have spent my day doing mundane chores with my children, cleaning, tiding, grocery shopping and trying to keep myself grounded for them. When they have both gone to bed then I will have time for this to " stretch its legs " a little more. I am meditating but it is more watching the flow of consciousness than no-thought as I am being flooded with realizations and understandings. I am absolutely dedicated to the forgivenesses and loving-kindness and inner joys as this really helps me feel more at one with the flow and lessens the difficult emotional states quite a lot. And at the moment I am letting myself grieve for my friendship. Even if we ever can become close again I am afraid there can never be that level of closeness again as our friendship was based upon the fact that we accepted each other for who we were, faults and all, and that is no longer true (as far as I see it). And I can also see that it has a positive side, I have perhaps been to eager to turn to human friends when things all got too much when maybe should have been turning inwards and working with the energy instead Once again, thank you from my heart to all of you who have respnded with love and reassurances. I have been feeling very alone for much of today and you all have given me the very precious gift of feeling connected and cared about. xxx love and peace, Ruari , chrism <> wrote: > > Ouch! That was so unnecessary! Your Shaman friend should know of this energy. (Sigh) They perhaps just do not want to understand as it is so far out of the reality they have immersed themselves in. Not time for them yet. You Ruari must continue and though it is sad that someone would base a friendship on positions of power ( which is how I am seeing this) you are very, very, special and let no person interfere with your process. This is still very uncommon for the general population so rest easy and be content to let your fiend rest easy as well. Are you meditating and what is the status of your movements ie kriyas and shaking etc.? - > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2007 Report Share Posted January 14, 2007 Thank you dhyana, I keep reminding myself of one of my favourite mantras... " It's all good, all the time... " , novalees <Novalees wrote: > > Hug, Rauri. I feel your pain. Trust the process. > Things happen for a reason, and this may turn out to > be a blessing in disguise. Just go with the flow and > know Shakti has your best interests in mind. Try not > to feed more into it than what is there, the lady is > just taking some space for a while. As she sees your > journey she may begin to understand. Trust...love, > dhyana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2007 Report Share Posted January 14, 2007 Bless you........Alphu-s. : spirit: Sun, 14 Jan 2007 16:42:40 +0000Subject: Re: Needing understanding... Thank you for the kind words and support, it has really helped me getthrough this.I've been thinking about it on and off all day and I think the reasonshe finds it (currently) impossible to cope with is that I surrenderto it willingly and she cannot imagine that giving up control tosomething else can be a good thing.. It doesn't matter that she takesadvice from other beings in her shamanic work, she apparently sees adifference between that and me surrendering to the flow of theK-energy and the effects it has.As for my movements etc, at the moment it is quite active. The full-onshaking etc. tends to only happen when I am lying down - it is anagreement I made with the energy that if it eased off in the day thenI would give it space when I was at rest. But I am getting quite a lotof occasional twitches and jerking during the day as well and oftenfeeling very tired and the amount of foods I can stomach to eat hasrecently reduced radically. I feel that a new wave is rising and thatis the reason for this extra activity so today I have spent my daydoing mundane chores with my children, cleaning, tiding, groceryshopping and trying to keep myself grounded for them. When they haveboth gone to bed then I will have time for this to " stretch its legs " a little more. I am meditating but it is more watching the flow ofconsciousness than no-thought as I am being flooded with realizationsand understandings. I am absolutely dedicated to the forgivenesses andloving-kindness and inner joys as this really helps me feel more atone with the flow and lessens the difficult emotional states quite a lot.And at the moment I am letting myself grieve for my friendship. Evenif we ever can become close again I am afraid there can never be thatlevel of closeness again as our friendship was based upon the factthat we accepted each other for who we were, faults and all, and thatis no longer true (as far as I see it).And I can also see that it has a positive side, I have perhaps been toeager to turn to human friends when things all got too much when maybeshould have been turning inwards and working with the energy instead :)Once again, thank you from my heart to all of you who have respndedwith love and reassurances. I have been feeling very alone for much oftoday and you all have given me the very precious gift of feelingconnected and cared about. xxxlove and peace,Ruari--- In , chrism<> wrote:>> Ouch! That was so unnecessary! Your Shaman friend should know ofthis energy. (Sigh) They perhaps just do not want to understand asit is so far out of the reality they have immersed themselves in. Nottime for them yet. You Ruari must continue and though it is sad thatsomeone would base a friendship on positions of power ( which is how Iam seeing this) you are very, very, special and let no personinterfere with your process. This is still very uncommon for thegeneral population so rest easy and be content to let your fiend resteasy as well. Are you meditating and what is the status of yourmovements ie kriyas and shaking etc.? - > _______________ Be one of the first to try Windows Live Mail. http://ideas.live.com/programpage.aspx?versionId=5d21c51a-b161-4314-9b0e-4911fb2\ b2e6d Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2007 Report Share Posted January 14, 2007 It's all good...all the time. The mind and thoughts, though, can make it MISERABLE for us. Cause us to want to close our hearts and pull back. Trusting its all good all the time gives the power back to " What " is all good... all the time...freeing us to love in the face of perceived hurts and misunderstandings. Light is stronger than darkness...and your light will penetrate the darkness. And it will be glorious. Hug, Ruari. Love, dhyana --- Ruari <spirit wrote: > Thank you dhyana, > > I keep reminding myself of one of my favourite > mantras... > > " It's all good, all the time... " > > --- In > , > novalees > <Novalees wrote: > > > > Hug, Rauri. I feel your pain. Trust the process. > > Things happen for a reason, and this may turn out > to > > be a blessing in disguise. Just go with the flow > and > > know Shakti has your best interests in mind. Try > not > > to feed more into it than what is there, the lady > is > > just taking some space for a while. As she sees > your > > journey she may begin to understand. Trust...love, > > dhyana > > > ______________________________\ ____ Looking for earth-friendly autos? Browse Top Cars by " Green Rating " at Autos' Green Center. http://autos./green_center/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2007 Report Share Posted January 14, 2007 Hi Ruari, I like the mantra : " Everything is perfect all of the time " Nearly the same as yours, I have it drawn in coloured pencils in my front room. Much love Elektra x x x --- Ruari <spirit wrote: > > I keep reminding myself of one of my favourite > mantras... > > " It's all good, all the time... " > _________ All New Mail – Tired of unwanted email come-ons? Let our SpamGuard protect you. http://uk.docs./nowyoucan.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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