RE: Cool Meditation!

April 19, 2007

I've seen violet many times while meditating, though not exactly as you

describe. But it was always comforting to gaze at as it faded in and out of

my site, sometimes bright, sometimes dim. I left my body as soul one time

and was in an ocean of blue. At that instant, I thought I had died, and

didn't realize my mistake until I awoke. I had a handful of other more

spectacular occurrences, but i'm sure that they were nothing compared to

what lies ahead for us. Even so, they are haunting memories that always

bring me back to the path. I long for the peace, and the memory of soft

vibrations of happiness. Perhaps this is what I now hear of as " bliss " .

Blessings...

Paul

> " vjvousden " <vjvousden

>

> Cool Meditation!

>Thu, 19 Apr 2007 21:33:23 -0000

>

>I know I've been taken out of Chrism's scatterfield for now but I'm

>still having the awesome back tinglings and head/hair tickles. But

>today, during a meditation, I did the usual finger locks and eyes

>up/tongue up and got a really cool thing (to me). First it was just

>blackness but suddenly a purple or violet fire ball formed on the

>screen of my 3rd eye. When it got as big as the " screen " I was

>seeing it on, it suddenly shot out, away from me like a comet late

>for a date in outer space! Then another little dot of purple which

>grew, grew, purple flames shooting off it like you see videos of

>flares coming off the sun, and again it shot off into space at great

>speed. This kept up till I finished my meditation which was soon, as

>it was pretty distracting and, I have to say, awesome! I have a

>slight headache now, too, not bad but it's there. Don't know if it's

>related though.

>

>I'm still feeling like a furnace on high heat when I do the Tibetans

>and today, along with that, I had alternating cold/hot and a slight

>nausea. Is this some form of detoxification? It almost feels like

>that.

>

>Anyone else having interesting things pop up in their meditations?

>I'm still hoping for OBEs but I just think some part of me thinks

>I'm not ready yet. But I keep trying!

>

>Enjoying everyone's words of inspiration. You are a great group and

>I'm glad to be a part of it.

>

>Blessings all,

>Valarie

>

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April 19, 2007

Hi Valarie,

I get that white and purple ball of light everytime I meditate,

pray or send healing. Lastnight, at my kundalini yoga class, during

meditation, I saw that purple ball of light filling my mental screen.

I loved watching it. I also saw dark blue light. Last week around mid

afternoon, I saw a ball of light floating in the air near the wall and

inside the palm of my hand as I had it resting on my face.

As for sensations, I still have those tingling and tickling energy

currents running along my spine, around my waist and at the back of my

neck. I have been feeling like there's ants crawling on my arms, my

face, my body and when I check to look, there's nothing there.

Lastnight, I felt like someone is caressing my hair to help me fall

asleep. I felt movements in my body - on the back mostly. It wasn't

painful - tolerable. I was with my bf the other day and I felt my

heart beat fast and loud. I wonder if he heard it? I did the locks and

breathing. I hope he didn't notice. I have been doing a lot of

stretching as it helps with the lower back ache. The pain goes away

when I sit up straight, but if I slouch my back, ouch =(. Sometimes, I

feel like putting on a gait belt as a reminder not to slouch. I am

following the safeties - I do some of the locks while on the train

ride to school. I have had some precognitive dreams over the weekend,

then I stopped having dreams for 3 days. A lot of good things has

happened also during the past few days. This whole week has been a

deep learning and healing experience for me, I realized a lot of

things I never thought of before. In some ways, I think I am paying

for my karmic debt from a previous relationship.

Four years ago, I was in a 5 year relationship with someone. When

we started dating, it took him awhile to open up to me, because he had

such bad luck with other women. None of them really loved him and his

parents favoured his sister more. Our relationship ended because his

family (parents) and family friends (mostly parents) were against me,

because I am not Taiwanese. They said that it would be bad luck if he

married me. I was very insecure. His parents tried everything to break

us apart, but nothing worked until they finally decided to arrange him

to be married to someone in Taiwan. He didn't want to marry her but

felt so much pressure from his parents and the need to win their love.

His family were never nice to me. His parents controlled his happiness

and life. When we broke up, I left Chicago and spent 3 months in the

Philippines to do some soul-searching. That same year, my aunt passed

away. I went into depression. I withdrew myself from my friends and I

became more active in church and devoted my time through prayer and

healing my broken heart. A year later, I met a nice Christian guy and

we dated on and off for about a year and a half. Our relationship did

not work out because both of us have just gotten out of a long

relationship. He was very insecure, possessive, jealous and verbally

abused me at times. I knew things would not work out between us. He

was stressing me out. I couldn't make myself to fully open up to him,

because he often misunderstood me. At the same time, I still haven't

quite moved on from my previous relationship and he couldn't accept

this. So I was very cold and distanced myself from him until we grew

further apart from each other. I didn't really care much about him.

After the break up from my ex, I made a promise to myself that I would

not let anyone hurt me or make me cry again. I built a big wall around

myself. I didn't realize that by being cold and suppressed my

emotions, that I was hurting myself even more instead of healing and

moving on.

A year and a half later (last year), I started meditating and

kept a dream journal again, because I wanted to try to understand

myself more. I knew I had gifts when I was little, but I didn't know

how to go about developing them. So I decided to start reading more

books about spirituality etc and joined a dream group - the moderator

disappeared, so a friend referred me to join Sarita's group.

Anyway, I started a new relationship with someone last august

who is still in the process of healing from a previous heartache (he's

been trying to heal for the past 3 years). Our relationship frustrates

me at times. He seemed to be very distant. We hardly saw each other

and I'm trying to understand what he's going through. At the same

time, his dad was suffering from cancer. Eventhough I haven't met his

parents yet, I felt very concerned for his father's health condition.

I have been praying and offered myself to be a channel to heal him. A

few weeks later, I've been introduced to Reiki. In september, I became

attuned to Reiki 1 and took level 2 in january. I learned about

Kundalini yoga last october. Anyway, I've been contemplating since

december whether to open up about my past or break up with my bf.

Everytime I try to communicate with him, it seems like I am talking to

a wall. I only heard from him when he felt like it and I was getting

tired of it. For awhile, I have been suppressing my feelings for him.

I knew that I was developing some feelings for him, but I was scared

to get hurt again. I knew that suppressing emotions is not very good

for the heart. Everytime I felt my heart growing with love for him, I

just cry and pray for healing by directing the love and light from my

heart to his heart. And I keep hearing Kelly Howell's voice in my head

telling me to surrender all of my problems and worries to Shakti. So,

I have been praying to Shakti ever since.

Well last sunday, I dreamed about my bf. I'm still thinking

whether to write him that letter or not. He's been trying to get a

hold of me and wanted to see me, but I've been avoiding him. Saturday

night while reading a book, I felt the light focused on the page I am

reading (my lamp is on the left side of my bed) and it started to

become dim and dimmer as if someone is causing this to happen. In

order to turn the lamp on or off, you have to turn a knob switch with

energy and effort to do so. Its not the type of lamp where you can

just place your hands anywhere around it and there are levels of

dimness or brightness you can adjust to. It startled me. I even said

out loud " Hey, I'm still reading! " ... and then the brightness went

back to normal. I checked my lamp and its fine. I thought the bulb was

gonna die on me, but it didn't. I even asked my aunt if she saw or

noticed the light get dimmer and she said no. I decided to go to sleep

after that. Sarita mentioned that the light could be my spirit guide

trying to get my attention. So, the next day (monday), I used my Ask

Your Guides Oracle cards for guidance and asked who are these guides

who has been trying to get my attention and I got the Divine Helpers

cards 3 times. The message I got is that my guides has been trying to

get my attention to remind me to relax, rest and let them take care of

things, because I have been a workaholic. Another message is to

analyze and get rid of my blinders about my current relationship which

prompted me to write and send that letter to C. I was really scared -

I didn't know what the outcome would be. If we would still be together

or not. I heard that voice in my head again to trust Shakti and

surrender all of my problems and worries to Shakti. I was in tears and

my heart was aching again. I want to deny that I am hurting, but I

surrendered and admitted that it really hurts. As if my heart is

bleeding. I haven't cried this hard in a long long time. I was hugging

and squeezing my purple bear - squeezing out the tears from my eyes. I

prayed to God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, Isis, Shakti, my guardian angels

and guides to help me. Though I am in so much pain, I knew that what I

am doing is for my own good and I knew that my guides will protect and

guide me no matter what happens. I forgave him for everything and I

sent love and light his way. Three hours later, I received a reply

from him. I was afraid to read it, but I felt better afterwards,

because he apologized for being unresponsive - the reason - he got

scared when I told him a few months ago that I might be pregnant

(thank goodness I'm not) - he didn't know what to do. I totally

understand because I was scared too. He explained that it will take

some time for him to open up because of his past heartache. We

compromised - we were able to patch things up and he is willing to put

more effort into our relationship.

I guess that we would not really know how the other is truly

feeling (frustration & disappointment) when we treat them with

coldness and distance unless we are placed on the same/similar

situation to experience it. Now, I know what the feeling is like. I

understand now the pain I put my previous bf through for not giving

him a chance to really see through me. So, I totally understand what

my current bf is going through. I have been on both situations

(teaching a broken hearted heal, having my heart broken, learning to

love again, and understanding a person by looking through my soul's

eyes). Sometimes I wonder if God sent me here to be a match maker,

help the broken hearted heal and realize that there's an angel who

loves and cares for them. I'm so sorry this post became so lengthy. I

hope I didn't put anyone to sleep. I am soo sorry again =( but just

wanted to share my experiences. I am glad to have Kundalini as part of

my life and spiritual journey. And thanks to and my friends in

this group for all of your advice, support and friendship.

Always,

Anne

April 20, 2007

Hi Anne!

It's nice to read you. I will not try to advise you, but it seems that you

are progressing fairly rapidly in several areas. The meditation and the

" letting go " I think are very good, knowing that you cannot control

everything (on the mental level anyway).

I agree that it's not good to build walls, and I'm glad that you opened up

with us. For myself in relationships, I am never " closed " , but my trust

builds in stages. At each step, I check to see if there is an appropriate

response from the other person - if there isn't then I don't allow myself to

get too emotionally involved, and at a certain point, I move on. If the

person opens to me, I will gradually trust the person more and more, and

love grows.

I think you are right though, trust in Shakti (or whatever image you have of

God and energy), try to release the tension and trust that love is guiding

you. Keep imaging the love that you wish to have in your life. And never

forget that many people here and in many places, care.

Blessings to you and all the group..

Paul

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April 20, 2007

Thanks so much for sharing Anne.

bradly

April 20, 2007

Hello Valarie,

That's wonderful! I've also enjoyed this great purple ball forming

and near filling my mind's eye recently, I was trying to web-search

for it just last night. Typing a few colour names into google image

search, violet or indigo match the shade best, whatever it is it's

certainly very beautiful. If I'm lucky, images form within the ball

too! Interestingly, they don't extend outside it, even if it means

important detail is obscured, and if for some reason the spread of

colour is patchy, then that part of the image is missing, much like a

mirror with areas of the silvering on the back scratched off. The

most common images I see inside are faces, tinted by the ball to such

an extent that their contrast is very low. Strangely, although they

look towards me, I get a curious impression that they're

paradoxically actually facing the same direction as me, looking with

me or as me, as well as at me. I haven't had any comets flying, but

as the disc vanished earlier this week, one of the faces transcended

it to become a small child momentarily resting his head on my

physical chest as we continued to watch each other through my closed

eyes. Talk about disconcerting!

Tom

, " vjvousden "

<vjvousden wrote:

>

> I know I've been taken out of Chrism's scatterfield for now but I'm

> still having the awesome back tinglings and head/hair tickles. But

> today, during a meditation, I did the usual finger locks and eyes

> up/tongue up and got a really cool thing (to me). First it was just

> blackness but suddenly a purple or violet fire ball formed on the

> screen of my 3rd eye. When it got as big as the " screen " I was

> seeing it on, it suddenly shot out, away from me like a comet late

> for a date in outer space! Then another little dot of purple which

> grew, grew, purple flames shooting off it like you see videos of

> flares coming off the sun, and again it shot off into space at

great

> speed. This kept up till I finished my meditation which was soon,

as

> it was pretty distracting and, I have to say, awesome! I have a

> slight headache now, too, not bad but it's there. Don't know if

it's

> related though.

April 20, 2007

Hi Valarie,

I also get the purple ball of light in my 3rd eye area when I close my

eyes and look in that direction. I haven't seen the flame effect, but

I have had green (my aura color) and purple swirling around each other

there, sometimes one completing surrounding the other, and other times

merging into a golden light. If I'm having a really good meditation,

the main thing I notice (besides the purple light) is the energy

movement throughout my body, the tingling and surges, and the blissful

feeling that results. Wish I could keep that feeling all the time!

love & light ~Jen~