Guest guest Posted April 19, 2007 Report Share Posted April 19, 2007 Hello, My name is Vivien and I believe I am going through a Kundalini awakening & I have to say that it is scary. I have been in a Yoga Teacher training program for almost 6 months now. I attended a Chakra workshop about a month ago, while there I also had my aura pictures taken. The ones before the workshop showed a lot of yellow all around me with orange to one side & green to the other. After the workshop, all you could see was the yellow, my face was barely showing & the orange & green were still on the sides. I also saw the movie " The Secret " that same weekend and really felt like a light turned on. About two days later, I was at work & I felt this surge, it started at the base of my neck and shot down my body. I thought I was going to pass out. Then my mind started racing & I felt like for the first time in my life I was having an anxiety attack. It scared me so bad, I thought I was going to die. I ended up leaving work & people commented that I looked ashy. For the next couple of days I could not work. I was throwing up & going to the bathroom non-stop. I couldn't eat for 4 days because nothing would stay down. I felt this constant tension in my body. I spoke to my yoga teachers who all seemed so happy for me that I was going through this " awakening " , of course I have not felt like this because the process is scary. I went to see my therapist who said I was going through some breakthrough but because I was crying at the drop of the hat & that made me more nervous, he prescribed me some Klonipin, which I have tried not to take on a regular basis. I tried to go back to work the next week but I was still throwing up. I ended up going home to my family since I live alone because they were concerned & wanted to take care of me. I have been out of work a month now & have had a myriad of tests on my stomach. I now have an inflammation of my duodenum and I have never had a stomach problem in my life. I have had some Cymatron healings and Reiki, I am also doing self- Reiki on myself. I go back to work on Monday which I am happy about because I can't believe that something that is so good for me is causing such chaos in my life. It's very hard talking about this to people. I used to think this kind of talk was for 'kooks', that no one really could go through some spiritual change like this. It makes me feel like I have really lost my mind. I think about life & death so much, I watch tv and see advertisements for things to buy & they all seem so trivial to me. I am worried about the destruction of our earth and what we can do to stop it. I have this constant underlying feeling of tension in my body. The violence in the news is really affecting me. I have had some bad things happen to me in the past but through therapy have overcome them but now memories of things I completely forgot have come back & it surprises me more than scares me. I'm sorry this is so long. I just need to get this out. I worry that I am going crazy & somehow can't bridge the gap between what makes sense & what doesn't. This doesn't seem logical to me. Thank you for taking the time to listen to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 19, 2007 Report Share Posted April 19, 2007 Welcome Vivien! I recognize you from another group. I have to say you couldn't be in better hands between these two families! HUG. So glad to have you with us. Plenty of experience and guidance available, as well as lots of love and support. Love, dhyana , " minerva_vino " <minerva_vino wrote: > > Hello, > > My name is Vivien and I believe I am going through a Kundalini > awakening & I have to say that it is scary. I have been in a Yoga > Teacher training program for almost 6 months now. I attended a > Chakra workshop about a month ago, while there I also had my aura > pictures taken. The ones before the workshop showed a lot of yellow > all around me with orange to one side & green to the other. After > the workshop, all you could see was the yellow, my face was barely > showing & the orange & green were still on the sides. I also saw the > movie " The Secret " that same weekend and really felt like a light > turned on. About two days later, I was at work & I felt this surge, > it started at the base of my neck and shot down my body. I thought I > was going to pass out. Then my mind started racing & I felt like for > the first time in my life I was having an anxiety attack. It scared > me so bad, I thought I was going to die. I ended up leaving work & > people commented that I looked ashy. > > For the next couple of days I could not work. I was throwing up & > going to the bathroom non-stop. I couldn't eat for 4 days because > nothing would stay down. I felt this constant tension in my body. I > spoke to my yoga teachers who all seemed so happy for me that I was > going through this " awakening " , of course I have not felt like this > because the process is scary. I went to see my therapist who said I > was going through some breakthrough but because I was crying at the > drop of the hat & that made me more nervous, he prescribed me some > Klonipin, which I have tried not to take on a regular basis. > I tried to go back to work the next week but I was still throwing > up. I ended up going home to my family since I live alone because > they were concerned & wanted to take care of me. I have been out of > work a month now & have had a myriad of tests on my stomach. I now > have an inflammation of my duodenum and I have never had a stomach > problem in my life. > > I have had some Cymatron healings and Reiki, I am also doing self- > Reiki on myself. I go back to work on Monday which I am happy about > because I can't believe that something that is so good for me is > causing such chaos in my life. It's very hard talking about this to > people. I used to think this kind of talk was for 'kooks', that no > one really could go through some spiritual change like this. It > makes me feel like I have really lost my mind. I think about life & > death so much, I watch tv and see advertisements for things to buy & > they all seem so trivial to me. I am worried about the destruction > of our earth and what we can do to stop it. I have this constant > underlying feeling of tension in my body. The violence in the news > is really affecting me. > > I have had some bad things happen to me in the past but through > therapy have overcome them but now memories of things I completely > forgot have come back & it surprises me more than scares me. > I'm sorry this is so long. I just need to get this out. I worry that > I am going crazy & somehow can't bridge the gap between what makes > sense & what doesn't. This doesn't seem logical to me. Thank you for > taking the time to listen to me. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 19, 2007 Report Share Posted April 19, 2007 Thank you Dyhana, someone from the other group actually suggested that I join this one too. , " novalees " <Novalees wrote: > > Welcome Vivien! I recognize you from another group. I have to say you > couldn't be in better hands between these two families! HUG. So glad > to have you with us. Plenty of experience and guidance available, as > well as lots of love and support. Love, dhyana > > > Kundalini-Awakening-Systems- 1 , " minerva_vino " > <minerva_vino@> wrote: > > > > Hello, > > > > My name is Vivien and I believe I am going through a Kundalini > > awakening & I have to say that it is scary. I have been in a Yoga > > Teacher training program for almost 6 months now. I attended a > > Chakra workshop about a month ago, while there I also had my aura > > pictures taken. The ones before the workshop showed a lot of yellow > > all around me with orange to one side & green to the other. After > > the workshop, all you could see was the yellow, my face was barely > > showing & the orange & green were still on the sides. I also saw the > > movie " The Secret " that same weekend and really felt like a light > > turned on. About two days later, I was at work & I felt this surge, > > it started at the base of my neck and shot down my body. I thought I > > was going to pass out. Then my mind started racing & I felt like for > > the first time in my life I was having an anxiety attack. It scared > > me so bad, I thought I was going to die. I ended up leaving work & > > people commented that I looked ashy. > > > > For the next couple of days I could not work. I was throwing up & > > going to the bathroom non-stop. I couldn't eat for 4 days because > > nothing would stay down. I felt this constant tension in my body. I > > spoke to my yoga teachers who all seemed so happy for me that I was > > going through this " awakening " , of course I have not felt like this > > because the process is scary. I went to see my therapist who said I > > was going through some breakthrough but because I was crying at the > > drop of the hat & that made me more nervous, he prescribed me some > > Klonipin, which I have tried not to take on a regular basis. > > I tried to go back to work the next week but I was still throwing > > up. I ended up going home to my family since I live alone because > > they were concerned & wanted to take care of me. I have been out of > > work a month now & have had a myriad of tests on my stomach. I now > > have an inflammation of my duodenum and I have never had a stomach > > problem in my life. > > > > I have had some Cymatron healings and Reiki, I am also doing self- > > Reiki on myself. I go back to work on Monday which I am happy about > > because I can't believe that something that is so good for me is > > causing such chaos in my life. It's very hard talking about this to > > people. I used to think this kind of talk was for 'kooks', that no > > one really could go through some spiritual change like this. It > > makes me feel like I have really lost my mind. I think about life & > > death so much, I watch tv and see advertisements for things to buy & > > they all seem so trivial to me. I am worried about the destruction > > of our earth and what we can do to stop it. I have this constant > > underlying feeling of tension in my body. The violence in the news > > is really affecting me. > > > > I have had some bad things happen to me in the past but through > > therapy have overcome them but now memories of things I completely > > forgot have come back & it surprises me more than scares me. > > I'm sorry this is so long. I just need to get this out. I worry that > > I am going crazy & somehow can't bridge the gap between what makes > > sense & what doesn't. This doesn't seem logical to me. Thank you for > > taking the time to listen to me. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 19, 2007 Report Share Posted April 19, 2007 Lol! That's great! When I read your post over there I just knew you needed to be here with us, too! So glad you made it. You may have to work harder here! lol! But it is soooo worth it. Hug and welcome again. Love, dhyana , " minerva_vino " <minerva_vino wrote: > > Thank you Dyhana, someone from the other group actually suggested > that I join this one too. > > > , " novalees " > <Novalees@> wrote: > > > > Welcome Vivien! I recognize you from another group. I have to say > you > > couldn't be in better hands between these two families! HUG. So > glad > > to have you with us. Plenty of experience and guidance available, > as > > well as lots of love and support. Love, dhyana > > > > > > Kundalini-Awakening-Systems- > 1 , " minerva_vino " > > <minerva_vino@> wrote: > > > > > > Hello, > > > > > > My name is Vivien and I believe I am going through a Kundalini > > > awakening & I have to say that it is scary. I have been in a > Yoga > > > Teacher training program for almost 6 months now. I attended a > > > Chakra workshop about a month ago, while there I also had my > aura > > > pictures taken. The ones before the workshop showed a lot of > yellow > > > all around me with orange to one side & green to the other. > After > > > the workshop, all you could see was the yellow, my face was > barely > > > showing & the orange & green were still on the sides. I also saw > the > > > movie " The Secret " that same weekend and really felt like a > light > > > turned on. About two days later, I was at work & I felt this > surge, > > > it started at the base of my neck and shot down my body. I > thought I > > > was going to pass out. Then my mind started racing & I felt like > for > > > the first time in my life I was having an anxiety attack. It > scared > > > me so bad, I thought I was going to die. I ended up leaving work > & > > > people commented that I looked ashy. > > > > > > For the next couple of days I could not work. I was throwing up > & > > > going to the bathroom non-stop. I couldn't eat for 4 days > because > > > nothing would stay down. I felt this constant tension in my > body. I > > > spoke to my yoga teachers who all seemed so happy for me that I > was > > > going through this " awakening " , of course I have not felt like > this > > > because the process is scary. I went to see my therapist who > said I > > > was going through some breakthrough but because I was crying at > the > > > drop of the hat & that made me more nervous, he prescribed me > some > > > Klonipin, which I have tried not to take on a regular basis. > > > I tried to go back to work the next week but I was still > throwing > > > up. I ended up going home to my family since I live alone > because > > > they were concerned & wanted to take care of me. I have been out > of > > > work a month now & have had a myriad of tests on my stomach. I > now > > > have an inflammation of my duodenum and I have never had a > stomach > > > problem in my life. > > > > > > I have had some Cymatron healings and Reiki, I am also doing > self- > > > Reiki on myself. I go back to work on Monday which I am happy > about > > > because I can't believe that something that is so good for me is > > > causing such chaos in my life. It's very hard talking about this > to > > > people. I used to think this kind of talk was for 'kooks', that > no > > > one really could go through some spiritual change like this. It > > > makes me feel like I have really lost my mind. I think about > life & > > > death so much, I watch tv and see advertisements for things to > buy & > > > they all seem so trivial to me. I am worried about the > destruction > > > of our earth and what we can do to stop it. I have this constant > > > underlying feeling of tension in my body. The violence in the > news > > > is really affecting me. > > > > > > I have had some bad things happen to me in the past but through > > > therapy have overcome them but now memories of things I > completely > > > forgot have come back & it surprises me more than scares me. > > > I'm sorry this is so long. I just need to get this out. I worry > that > > > I am going crazy & somehow can't bridge the gap between what > makes > > > sense & what doesn't. This doesn't seem logical to me. Thank you > for > > > taking the time to listen to me. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 19, 2007 Report Share Posted April 19, 2007 Welcome Vivien! You are in the right place. I had a similar, but not as serious start to my awakening. I was vomiting constantly, dizzy and unable to work consistently for a few weeks. Due to some other symptoms I posted on the OBE group, it was suggested that I come here. When I found out about this I was terrified! I didn't know what to do and just wanted it to stop (which it wouldn't). I am now having a wonderful experience and I think if you follow the Safeties and the loving guidance of and our other loving members, you will be fine in no time. Sarita , " minerva_vino " <minerva_vino wrote: > > Hello, > > My name is Vivien and I believe I am going through a Kundalini > awakening & I have to say that it is scary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 19, 2007 Report Share Posted April 19, 2007 Great to have you here, Vivien. Re. the extract from your introduction below, t\ here are steps in Chrism's set of " Safeties " (see " Files " in the left hand panel) that, when\ followed, will give you strength and calm. . minerva_vino wrote: " ......... It's very hard talking about this to people. I used to think this kind of talk was for 'kooks', that no one really could go through some spiritual change like this. It makes me feel like I have really lost my mind. I think about life & > death so much, I watch tv and see advertisements for things to buy & they all seem so trivial to me. I am worried about the destruction of our earth and what we can do to stop it. I have this constant underlying feeling of tension in my body. The violence in the news is really affecting me. I have had some bad things happen to me in the past but through therapy have overcome them but now memories of things I completely forgot have come back & it surprises me more than scares me. I'm sorry this is so long. I just need to get this out. I worry that I am going crazy & somehow can't bridge the gap between what makes sense & what doesn't. This doesn't seem logical to me. Thank you for taking the time to listen to me. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2007 Report Share Posted April 20, 2007 Hello Vivien, Welcome. I know you are having a tough time so I will get right into it with you I hope this isn't too abrupt. I suggest that you stop all energetic practice for the moment. No self Rieki no yoga, no chakra work - for the moment. You are not going crazy in my humble opinion. You are going through a process. And you are going through this process in a way that is not typical of how many people have it come to them. Starting from the neck down is an atypical Kundalini response and suggests other Factors may be present. Not saying it definitely isn't Kundalini just that there are other factors that may be inserting a position with your experience. Vomiting and stomach illness so soon after an " awakening " without other manifestation or phenomena is another anomaly. Can you give me a complete and detailed description of your experience with all phenomena or symptoms to this date? Yoga is the practice of preparing the body for a Kundalini experience. When you do Rieki do invite the " Universal Healing Masters " into you that you may give a healing? When you did the chakra work. What did that consist of? You may be experiencing a reverse flow a downward movement that can indeed be most uncomfortable. How does the base of your spine feel. Do you have any temperature symptoms? Sorry to ask so many questions but if you woudnt mind answering them as best you can, I would be able to help you more accuratley. - blessings Vivien , " " <...> wrote: > > Great to have you here, Vivien. > > Re. the extract from your introduction below, t\ > here are steps in Chrism's set of " Safeties " > (see " Files " in the left hand panel) that, when\ > followed, will give you strength and calm. > > . > > > > minerva_vino@> wrote: > > " ......... It's very hard talking about this to people. I used to > think this kind of talk was for 'kooks', that no one really could go > through some spiritual change like this. It makes me feel like I > have really lost my mind. I think about life & > death so much, I watch > tv and see advertisements for things to buy & they all seem so > trivial to me. I am worried about the destruction of our earth and > what we can do to stop it. I have this constant underlying feeling of > tension in my body. The violence in the news is really affecting > me. I have had some bad things happen to me in the past but > through therapy have overcome them but now memories of things I > completely forgot have come back & it surprises me more than scares > me. I'm sorry this is so long. I just need to get this out. I worry > that I am going crazy & somehow can't bridge the gap between what > makes sense & what doesn't. This doesn't seem logical to me. Thank > you for taking the time to listen to me. " > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2007 Report Share Posted April 20, 2007 Welcome to the group Vivien ! I too had a sudden awakening just like you but minus the throwing up part.Of course I did not know what hit me.I did not know anything about Kundalini and I had to do a lot of research to find out what was happening to me.Also I thought I was going crazy too but the worst thing was that I did not know what was happening.I feel great now so I can tell you that there's hope and things will slow down.Trust yourself. Love,Nicole , " minerva_vino " <minerva_vino wrote: > > Thank you Dyhana, someone from the other group actually suggested > that I join this one too. > > > , " novalees " > <Novalees@> wrote: > > > > Welcome Vivien! I recognize you from another group. I have to say > you > > couldn't be in better hands between these two families! HUG. So > glad > > to have you with us. Plenty of experience and guidance available, > as > > well as lots of love and support. Love, dhyana > > > > > > Kundalini-Awakening-Systems- > 1 , " minerva_vino " > > <minerva_vino@> wrote: > > > > > > Hello, > > > > > > My name is Vivien and I believe I am going through a Kundalini > > > awakening & I have to say that it is scary. I have been in a > Yoga > > > Teacher training program for almost 6 months now. I attended a > > > Chakra workshop about a month ago, while there I also had my > aura > > > pictures taken. The ones before the workshop showed a lot of > yellow > > > all around me with orange to one side & green to the other. > After > > > the workshop, all you could see was the yellow, my face was > barely > > > showing & the orange & green were still on the sides. I also saw > the > > > movie " The Secret " that same weekend and really felt like a > light > > > turned on. About two days later, I was at work & I felt this > surge, > > > it started at the base of my neck and shot down my body. I > thought I > > > was going to pass out. Then my mind started racing & I felt like > for > > > the first time in my life I was having an anxiety attack. It > scared > > > me so bad, I thought I was going to die. I ended up leaving work > & > > > people commented that I looked ashy. > > > > > > For the next couple of days I could not work. I was throwing up > & > > > going to the bathroom non-stop. I couldn't eat for 4 days > because > > > nothing would stay down. I felt this constant tension in my > body. I > > > spoke to my yoga teachers who all seemed so happy for me that I > was > > > going through this " awakening " , of course I have not felt like > this > > > because the process is scary. I went to see my therapist who > said I > > > was going through some breakthrough but because I was crying at > the > > > drop of the hat & that made me more nervous, he prescribed me > some > > > Klonipin, which I have tried not to take on a regular basis. > > > I tried to go back to work the next week but I was still > throwing > > > up. I ended up going home to my family since I live alone > because > > > they were concerned & wanted to take care of me. I have been out > of > > > work a month now & have had a myriad of tests on my stomach. I > now > > > have an inflammation of my duodenum and I have never had a > stomach > > > problem in my life. > > > > > > I have had some Cymatron healings and Reiki, I am also doing > self- > > > Reiki on myself. I go back to work on Monday which I am happy > about > > > because I can't believe that something that is so good for me is > > > causing such chaos in my life. It's very hard talking about this > to > > > people. I used to think this kind of talk was for 'kooks', that > no > > > one really could go through some spiritual change like this. It > > > makes me feel like I have really lost my mind. I think about > life & > > > death so much, I watch tv and see advertisements for things to > buy & > > > they all seem so trivial to me. I am worried about the > destruction > > > of our earth and what we can do to stop it. I have this constant > > > underlying feeling of tension in my body. The violence in the > news > > > is really affecting me. > > > > > > I have had some bad things happen to me in the past but through > > > therapy have overcome them but now memories of things I > completely > > > forgot have come back & it surprises me more than scares me. > > > I'm sorry this is so long. I just need to get this out. I worry > that > > > I am going crazy & somehow can't bridge the gap between what > makes > > > sense & what doesn't. This doesn't seem logical to me. Thank you > for > > > taking the time to listen to me. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2007 Report Share Posted April 20, 2007 Hi Vivien, Welcome to the group. I was sorry to hear you are going through so much trouble with your kundalini. I know how lonely it can get when you have such a turmoil in your life and can't share it with anyone. However, the good news is that now you have a group of friendly people with whom you can openly discuss your experience, and who might have some useful insights for you. I see is already addressing the " reversed k flow " issue. Kundalini should flow upward, so there might be something (some emotional/energetic damage perhaps?) in your lower chakras attracting it in the opposite direction. Can you think of anything? Did your chakra workshop or yoga teacher training open an emotional can of worms that was not addressed properly afterwards? (I have been through a yoga teacher training myself--the amount of bad energies released in the room during chakra work can be pretty overwhelming for a K person!) As to your emotions: keep in mind that the kundalini amplifies them, especially at the beginning. Try and keep your cool; if the violence in the news affects you, don't watch them; stay away from horror movies and negative people (not to be judgmental, but right now you need to protect yourself), and let go of disruptive thoughts and emotions. Developing the " witness " (i.e., observing your thoughts and emotions dispassionately, and letting go of the negative ones) should give you some relief. Love and light to you, Sel , " minerva_vino " <minerva_vino wrote: > > Hello, > > My name is Vivien and I believe I am going through a Kundalini > awakening & I have to say that it is scary. I have been in a Yoga > Teacher training program for almost 6 months now. I attended a > Chakra workshop about a month ago, while there I also had my aura > pictures taken. The ones before the workshop showed a lot of yellow > all around me with orange to one side & green to the other. After > the workshop, all you could see was the yellow, my face was barely > showing & the orange & green were still on the sides. I also saw the > movie " The Secret " that same weekend and really felt like a light > turned on. About two days later, I was at work & I felt this surge, > it started at the base of my neck and shot down my body. I thought I > was going to pass out. Then my mind started racing & I felt like for > the first time in my life I was having an anxiety attack. It scared > me so bad, I thought I was going to die. I ended up leaving work & > people commented that I looked ashy. > > For the next couple of days I could not work. I was throwing up & > going to the bathroom non-stop. I couldn't eat for 4 days because > nothing would stay down. I felt this constant tension in my body. I > spoke to my yoga teachers who all seemed so happy for me that I was > going through this " awakening " , of course I have not felt like this > because the process is scary. I went to see my therapist who said I > was going through some breakthrough but because I was crying at the > drop of the hat & that made me more nervous, he prescribed me some > Klonipin, which I have tried not to take on a regular basis. > I tried to go back to work the next week but I was still throwing > up. I ended up going home to my family since I live alone because > they were concerned & wanted to take care of me. I have been out of > work a month now & have had a myriad of tests on my stomach. I now > have an inflammation of my duodenum and I have never had a stomach > problem in my life. > > I have had some Cymatron healings and Reiki, I am also doing self- > Reiki on myself. I go back to work on Monday which I am happy about > because I can't believe that something that is so good for me is > causing such chaos in my life. It's very hard talking about this to > people. I used to think this kind of talk was for 'kooks', that no > one really could go through some spiritual change like this. It > makes me feel like I have really lost my mind. I think about life & > death so much, I watch tv and see advertisements for things to buy & > they all seem so trivial to me. I am worried about the destruction > of our earth and what we can do to stop it. I have this constant > underlying feeling of tension in my body. The violence in the news > is really affecting me. > > I have had some bad things happen to me in the past but through > therapy have overcome them but now memories of things I completely > forgot have come back & it surprises me more than scares me. > I'm sorry this is so long. I just need to get this out. I worry that > I am going crazy & somehow can't bridge the gap between what makes > sense & what doesn't. This doesn't seem logical to me. Thank you for > taking the time to listen to me. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2007 Report Share Posted April 20, 2007 Hello Chris, I guess prior to the day when everything seemed to hit me at once, besides my usual yoga training, I had been introduced to kirtan which I took to immediately. I use to sing as a teenager & I loved it but I purposely decided not to follow that dream because I did not think I could bear with the rejection if I could not turn it into a career. Kirtan woke me up & after that I chanted everywhere. I remember the next day after my first kirtan that my whole body felt vibrational but that didn't scare me. I also had a Reiki attunement(level 1)and that night I woke up at 3am, nauseous, craving something salty & had a bunch of dreams that left me angry. I was scared & nervous but my teacher said I was going through the " dark night " and would be ok. It only lasted 24 hours. As I do Reiki, I usually say " please allow the healing energy to flow through me to (whoever I am working on) " but I haven't done Reiki on anyone lately because I often 'feel' their emotions & may cry or have pains in my chest & I feel like maybe I have not protected myself enough to be helping others. The symptoms prior to that day that everything hit me were minimal. I had some stomach pain for about two weeks before that but it was not bad just a little uncomfortable. After the Chakra workshop & watching 'The Secret', the next day it was gone & I felt this amazing sense of happiness & peace. It was like that for 2 days, I couldn't believe the joy I felt. People even commented to me that there was something about me but that I looked happy. The day after that is when everything hit me. I have been a negative person when it comes to myself, most of my life, I know that. I can support & motivate everyone else around me but I am always overanalyzing my actions with myself & others & turning them into something negative. I constantly talk myself out of all kinds of positive things & I believe it is out of fear. I was abused as a child & I guess you can say I have lived with fear my whole life. I have always been easily startled & I am always the one to point out the worst case scenario every time. It isn't the way I want to live & I have honestly gotten to a point in my life where I feel detached from the abuse. It no longer defines me, I don't want it anymore & maybe that scares me & I don't realize it. I also started studying Hinduism right about 3 weeks before the incidient happened. I was interested in the readings but the Catholic guilt was nagging at me. " God will punish me, I should not be praying to a different religion. " All this despite the fact that I know I have forcefully shunned the Catholic religion because it never made me feel good. Maybe I was doing too much work at once. Maybe my own body was trying to tell me something. I started getting migraines but only on the days of my yoga training classes. The Chakra workshop involved doing yoga poses that would help open up the chakras. We also did meditations involving the chakras & partner exercises. She did tell us that it could open us up & we could experience many different things but like I often do, I was a skeptic & thought to myself, " that isn't possible " . I guess I was wrong. My teacher looked at my aura photos & mentioned that I had so much energy & I was all in my head, that I was about to come to some answer about something. As for my spine, the base seems fine but I have noticied that I almost have to force myself to sit up straight & at time feels little spasms along the sides of my upper spine. I usually workout everyday but have not been able to since all this started. I am walking again but with all this going on I am taking it slow. I hope I answered all your questions & thank you for taking the time to help me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2007 Report Share Posted April 20, 2007 I also wanted to add something I forgot, last night I had more violent dreams which I will contribute to watching all the VA Tech on the news but when I woke up in the middle of the night, my 3rd eye had this buzzing feeling around it, like a warm vibration. I probably would have 'freaked' but everyone has been so supportive on the Kundalini group right from the start I told myself it was ok & to just relax. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2007 Report Share Posted April 20, 2007 Sel, this is such a nice welcome and good advice! Vivien, welcome to our group...my awakening (which has just begun) is just the opposite of yours: slow and steady. Either way, you have been blessed to find your way to this group, because you could not find better support and guidance. I say 'blessed' rather than 'lucky' because it is no accident that you are here, as is the case with all of us; we were all led here by seemingly coincidental happenstances that we soon realized were pure serendipity!! So, welcome...relax and feel the love... Claudia --- selena230 <selena230 wrote: > Hi Vivien, > > Welcome to the group. I was sorry to hear you are > going through so > much trouble with your kundalini. I know how lonely > it can get when > you have such a turmoil in your life and can't share > it with anyone. > However, the good news is that now you have a group > of friendly people > with whom you can openly discuss your experience, > and who might have > some useful insights for you. > > I see is already addressing the " reversed k > flow " issue. > Kundalini should flow upward, so there might be > something (some > emotional/energetic damage perhaps?) in your lower > chakras attracting > it in the opposite direction. Can you think of > anything? Did your > chakra workshop or yoga teacher training open an > emotional can of > worms that was not addressed properly afterwards? (I > have been through > a yoga teacher training myself--the amount of bad > energies released in > the room during chakra work can be pretty > overwhelming for a K person!) > > As to your emotions: keep in mind that the kundalini > amplifies them, > especially at the beginning. Try and keep your cool; > if the violence > in the news affects you, don't watch them; stay away > from horror > movies and negative people (not to be judgmental, > but right now you > need to protect yourself), and let go of disruptive > thoughts and > emotions. Developing the " witness " (i.e., observing > your thoughts and > emotions dispassionately, and letting go of the > negative ones) should > give you some relief. > > Love and light to you, > > Sel > > --- In > , > " minerva_vino " > <minerva_vino wrote: > > > > Hello, > > > > My name is Vivien and I believe I am going through > a Kundalini > > awakening & I have to say that it is scary. I have > been in a Yoga > > Teacher training program for almost 6 months now. > I attended a > > Chakra workshop about a month ago, while there I > also had my aura > > pictures taken. The ones before the workshop > showed a lot of yellow > > all around me with orange to one side & green to > the other. After > > the workshop, all you could see was the yellow, my > face was barely > > showing & the orange & green were still on the > sides. I also saw the > > movie " The Secret " that same weekend and really > felt like a light > > turned on. About two days later, I was at work & I > felt this surge, > > it started at the base of my neck and shot down my > body. I thought I > > was going to pass out. Then my mind started racing > & I felt like for > > the first time in my life I was having an anxiety > attack. It scared > > me so bad, I thought I was going to die. I ended > up leaving work & > > people commented that I looked ashy. > > > > For the next couple of days I could not work. I > was throwing up & > > going to the bathroom non-stop. I couldn't eat for > 4 days because > > nothing would stay down. I felt this constant > tension in my body. I > > spoke to my yoga teachers who all seemed so happy > for me that I was > > going through this " awakening " , of course I have > not felt like this > > because the process is scary. I went to see my > therapist who said I > > was going through some breakthrough but because I > was crying at the > > drop of the hat & that made me more nervous, he > prescribed me some > > Klonipin, which I have tried not to take on a > regular basis. > > I tried to go back to work the next week but I was > still throwing > > up. I ended up going home to my family since I > live alone because > > they were concerned & wanted to take care of me. I > have been out of > > work a month now & have had a myriad of tests on > my stomach. I now > > have an inflammation of my duodenum and I have > never had a stomach > > problem in my life. > > > > I have had some Cymatron healings and Reiki, I am > also doing self- > > Reiki on myself. I go back to work on Monday which > I am happy about > > because I can't believe that something that is so > good for me is > > causing such chaos in my life. It's very hard > talking about this to > > people. I used to think this kind of talk was for > 'kooks', that no > > one really could go through some spiritual change > like this. It > > makes me feel like I have really lost my mind. I > think about life & > > death so much, I watch tv and see advertisements > for things to buy & > > they all seem so trivial to me. I am worried about > the destruction > > of our earth and what we can do to stop it. I have > this constant > > underlying feeling of tension in my body. The > violence in the news > > is really affecting me. > > > > I have had some bad things happen to me in the > past but through > > therapy have overcome them but now memories of > things I completely > > forgot have come back & it surprises me more than > scares me. > > I'm sorry this is so long. I just need to get this > out. I worry that > > I am going crazy & somehow can't bridge the gap > between what makes > > sense & what doesn't. This doesn't seem logical to > me. Thank you for > > taking the time to listen to me. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 20, 2007 Report Share Posted April 20, 2007 @@ I > probably would > have 'freaked' but everyone has been so supportive > on the Kundalini > group right from the start I told myself it was ok & > to just relax.@@ Excellent, Vivien!! You're already starting to turn things around! Claudia --- minerva_vino <minerva_vino wrote: > I also wanted to add something I forgot, last night > I had more violent > dreams which I will contribute to watching all the > VA Tech on the news > but when I woke up in the middle of the night, my > 3rd eye had this > buzzing feeling around it, like a warm vibration. I > probably would > have 'freaked' but everyone has been so supportive > on the Kundalini > group right from the start I told myself it was ok & > to just relax. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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