Guest guest Posted May 13, 2007 Report Share Posted May 13, 2007 Ruth (ruzu27) sent this to me, and it is so cute I thought I'd share with the rest of the mothers in the group! It's also funny if you aren't a mother!! tee hee God bless all the mothers in the world, Blessings & love, Claudia " Why God made moms " ... answers given by elementary school age children to the following questions: Why did God make mothers? 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. How did God make mothers? 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. What ingredients are mothers made of? 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom? 1. We're related. 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. What kind of little girl was your Mom? 1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff. 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 3. They say she used to be nice. What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him? 1. His last name. 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? Why did your Mom marry your dad? 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. 2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. Who's the boss at your house? 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed. 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. What's the difference between moms and dads? 1. Moms works at work & works at home, & dads just go to work at work. 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 4. Moms have magic. They make you feel better without medicine. What does your Mom do in her spare time? 1. Mothers don't do spare time. 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. What would it take to make your Mom perfect? 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be? 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. 2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me. 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back. THE MOMMY TEST I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. " Why? " my daughter asked.... " Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs " I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, " Wow! How do you know all this stuff? " " Uh, " I was thinking quickly, " All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy. " We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. " OH...I get it! " she beamed, " So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy. " " Exactly " I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart. ______________________________\ ____Luggage? GPS? Comic books? Check out fitting gifts for grads at Search http://search./search?fr=oni_on_mail & p=graduation+gifts & cs=bz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2007 Report Share Posted May 14, 2007 That's cute Claudia! ) love & light ~Jen~ , Claudia Lambright <newtfoodbowl wrote: > > Ruth (ruzu27) sent this to me, and it is so cute I > thought I'd share with the rest of the mothers in the > group! It's also funny if you aren't a mother!! tee > hee > > God bless all the mothers in the world, > > Blessings & love, > Claudia > > > " Why God made moms " ... answers given by elementary > school age children to the following questions: > > Why did God make mothers? > 1. She's the only one who > knows where the scotch tape is. > 2. Mostly to clean the house. > 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. > > How did God make mothers? > 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. > 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. > 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. > He just used bigger parts. > > What ingredients are mothers made of? > 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and > everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. > 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then > they mostly use string, I think. > > Why did God give you your mother and not some other > Mom? > 1. We're related. > 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other > people's moms like me. > > What kind of little girl was your Mom? > 1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that > other stuff. > 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess > would be pretty bossy. > 3. They say she used to be nice. > > What did Mom need to know about dad before she married > him? > 1. His last name. > 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a > crook? Does he get drunk on beer? > 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to > drugs and YES to chores? > > Why did your Mom marry your dad? > 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. > And my Mom eats a lot. > 2. She got too old to do anything else with him. > 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking > cap on. > > Who's the boss at your house? > 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because > dad's such a goof ball. > 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the > stuff under the bed. > 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more > to do than dad. > > What's the difference between moms and dads? > 1. Moms works at work & works at home, & dads just go > to work at work. > 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring > them. > 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the > real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you > want to sleep over at your friend's. > 4. Moms have magic. They make you feel better without > medicine. > > What does your Mom do in her spare time? > 1. Mothers don't do spare time. > 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. > > What would it take to make your Mom perfect? > 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I > think some kind of plastic surgery. > 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. > > If you could change one thing about your Mom, what > would it be? > 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room > clean. I'd get rid of that. > 2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was > my sister who did it and not me. > 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible > eyes on her back. > > THE MOMMY TEST > I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She > picked up something off the ground and started to put > it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I > asked her not to do that. > " Why? " my daughter asked.... > " Because it's been laying outside, you don't know > where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs " I > replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with > total admiration and asked, " Wow! How do you > know all this stuff? " > " Uh, " I was thinking quickly, " All moms know this > stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, > or they don't let you be a Mommy. " > We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she > was evidently pondering this new information. > " OH...I get it! " she beamed, " So if you don't pass the > test you have to be the daddy. " > " Exactly " I replied back with a big smile on my face > and joy in my heart. > > > > > > ______________________________\ ____Luggage? GPS? Comic books? > Check out fitting gifts for grads at Search > http://search./search?fr=oni_on_mail & p=graduation+gifts & cs=bz > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2007 Report Share Posted May 14, 2007 Thanks Claudia for sharing this. I sent it out to several mom's on my mailing list. Iam sure they will enjoy them as much as I did. Blessings CC , " Jen " <jenls505 wrote: > > That's cute Claudia! ) love & light ~Jen~ > > , Claudia > Lambright <newtfoodbowl@> wrote: > > > > Ruth (ruzu27) sent this to me, and it is so cute I > > thought I'd share with the rest of the mothers in the > > group! It's also funny if you aren't a mother!! tee > > hee > > > > God bless all the mothers in the world, > > > > Blessings & love, > > Claudia > > > > > > " Why God made moms " ... answers given by elementary > > school age children to the following questions: > > > > Why did God make mothers? > > 1. She's the only one who > > knows where the scotch tape is. > > 2. Mostly to clean the house. > > 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. > > > > How did God make mothers? > > 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. > > 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. > > 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. > > He just used bigger parts. > > > > What ingredients are mothers made of? > > 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and > > everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. > > 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then > > they mostly use string, I think. > > > > Why did God give you your mother and not some other > > Mom? > > 1. We're related. > > 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other > > people's moms like me. > > > > What kind of little girl was your Mom? > > 1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that > > other stuff. > > 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess > > would be pretty bossy. > > 3. They say she used to be nice. > > > > What did Mom need to know about dad before she married > > him? > > 1. His last name. > > 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a > > crook? Does he get drunk on beer? > > 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to > > drugs and YES to chores? > > > > Why did your Mom marry your dad? > > 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. > > And my Mom eats a lot. > > 2. She got too old to do anything else with him. > > 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking > > cap on. > > > > Who's the boss at your house? > > 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because > > dad's such a goof ball. > > 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the > > stuff under the bed. > > 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more > > to do than dad. > > > > What's the difference between moms and dads? > > 1. Moms works at work & works at home, & dads just go > > to work at work. > > 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring > > them. > > 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the > > real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you > > want to sleep over at your friend's. > > 4. Moms have magic. They make you feel better without > > medicine. > > > > What does your Mom do in her spare time? > > 1. Mothers don't do spare time. > > 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. > > > > What would it take to make your Mom perfect? > > 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I > > think some kind of plastic surgery. > > 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. > > > > If you could change one thing about your Mom, what > > would it be? > > 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room > > clean. I'd get rid of that. > > 2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was > > my sister who did it and not me. > > 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible > > eyes on her back. > > > > THE MOMMY TEST > > I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She > > picked up something off the ground and started to put > > it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I > > asked her not to do that. > > " Why? " my daughter asked.... > > " Because it's been laying outside, you don't know > > where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs " I > > replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with > > total admiration and asked, " Wow! How do you > > know all this stuff? " > > " Uh, " I was thinking quickly, " All moms know this > > stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, > > or they don't let you be a Mommy. " > > We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she > > was evidently pondering this new information. > > " OH...I get it! " she beamed, " So if you don't pass the > > test you have to be the daddy. " > > " Exactly " I replied back with a big smile on my face > > and joy in my heart. > > > > > > > > > > > > > ____________________ ______________Luggage? > GPS? Comic books? > > Check out fitting gifts for grads at Search > > http://search./search? fr=oni_on_mail & p=graduation+gifts & cs=bz > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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