Guest guest Posted May 19, 2007 Report Share Posted May 19, 2007 I really appreciated reading this e-mail. Thank you Chrism. It was very timely for me. I spent most of yesterday in turmoil in part because of feeling pulled in so very many directions with all of this, and so much of it so antithetical to everything I have believed most of my life. You talked about taking what resonates and leaving the rest. That's pretty much what I've always done with everything I've come across in my life but it's difficult when so little of it resonates. I think having the Kundalini awaken so early in my life may have been hugely responsible for making me feel like such an outsider all my life. I looked around at people and they all seemed like alien beings to me. It took me a very long time to begin to connect with the things I actually did share with others, but I've still never quite felt " one " with the rest of humanity. Coming here initially gave me the first twinges of a sense of belonging, but I am still struggling because I read so much here that still does not resonate. I've always believed in a universal consciousness, that in essence, we all contain godhood. But beyond that, I have few spiritual beliefs, though I take it all in and let it rumble around inside me in case someday it all makes more sense to me. Today, nothing makes much sense to me at all. When I read about Jesus and prayer and psychic phenomena or holding our tongues and hands a certain way, all of that leaves me feeling as if I am still standing on the outside. I feel no resonance with so much of what I read. (And I hope that does not sound critical of any of that because it is not meant that way). I wonder if there are others out there with the same experience. I cannot doubt that something profound and life-changing is happening to my body and my psyche but I cannot say what it is. That it is somehow related to that universal consciousness seems very likely. Is it related to love and forgiveness and service? I just don't know. Those things have been elements on the path I have taken to get here, but there are other things, more neutral things that have been far more prominent in my journey like acceptance, honesty, integrity (as in being what and who I really am and manifesting that in all areas of my life) and even pain. Again, I hope none of this sounds critical to anyone here. I'm struggling to find my way in this and still feel quite lost. If any of what I say resonates with anyone here, I would enjoy talking with you. To all of you, thank you for reading my troubled thoughts. Alexandria chrism <> wrote: When working with the Kundalini, there are few standardized facts that are available.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2007 Report Share Posted May 19, 2007 Hello Alexandria, it was hard for me at first, too. It was very foreign and strange, and I very much felt like an outsider. It was like visiting a strange country with a different language. Once I approached it with that idea in mind I relaxed and started enjoying the terrain and the population. No rush. After a while I began to feel that it was a different vibe and that slowly I was attuning to it. Now the strangeness has completely disappeared. Things come up though, and its just something to pass through as Shakti cleans house. Feelings come and go, issues come and go. Its a wonderful place to be and grow. Letting go of expectations and just enjoying the beauty that is here, and bathing in the Light will help you to relax. I found that to be the secret for me, just relax. Hope that helps. Much love, dhyana --- " P. Alexandria " <ladyinsubstance wrote: > I really appreciated reading this e-mail. Thank you > Chrism. It was very timely for me. > > I spent most of yesterday in turmoil in part because > of feeling pulled in so very many directions with > all of this, and so much of it so antithetical to > everything I have believed most of my life. > > You talked about taking what resonates and leaving > the rest. That's pretty much what I've always done > with everything I've come across in my life but it's > difficult when so little of it resonates. > > I think having the Kundalini awaken so early in my > life may have been hugely responsible for making me > feel like such an outsider all my life. I looked > around at people and they all seemed like alien > beings to me. It took me a very long time to begin > to connect with the things I actually did share with > others, but I've still never quite felt " one " with > the rest of humanity. > > Coming here initially gave me the first twinges of a > sense of belonging, but I am still struggling > because I read so much here that still does not > resonate. I've always believed in a universal > consciousness, that in essence, we all contain > godhood. But beyond that, I have few spiritual > beliefs, though I take it all in and let it rumble > around inside me in case someday it all makes more > sense to me. > > Today, nothing makes much sense to me at all. When > I read about Jesus and prayer and psychic phenomena > or holding our tongues and hands a certain way, all > of that leaves me feeling as if I am still standing > on the outside. I feel no resonance with so much of > what I read. (And I hope that does not sound > critical of any of that because it is not meant that > way). I wonder if there are others out there with > the same experience. > > I cannot doubt that something profound and > life-changing is happening to my body and my psyche > but I cannot say what it is. That it is somehow > related to that universal consciousness seems very > likely. Is it related to love and forgiveness and > service? I just don't know. Those things have been > elements on the path I have taken to get here, but > there are other things, more neutral things that > have been far more prominent in my journey like > acceptance, honesty, integrity (as in being what and > who I really am and manifesting that in all areas of > my life) and even pain. > > Again, I hope none of this sounds critical to anyone > here. I'm struggling to find my way in this and > still feel quite lost. > > If any of what I say resonates with anyone here, I > would enjoy talking with you. > > To all of you, thank you for reading my troubled > thoughts. > > Alexandria > > chrism <> wrote: > When working with the Kundalini, > there are few standardized facts > that are available.... > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > ______________________________\ ____Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the added security of spyware protection. http://new.toolbar./toolbar/features/norton/index.php Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2007 Report Share Posted May 19, 2007 Hi Alexandria, I can sure relate to that feeling of always being on the outside, not really belonging. Even as a child growing up in a large family of 10 children, I often had that strange feeling that I really didn't belong. I spent lots of time off to myself, not understanding why I felt that way. Throughout school years, kids tend to seperated themselves into this group or that. I never did that, join myself with any group. I never like that, the seperating, but in not joining any group, that may me feel the separating even more so. It was the same when I became a christian. It kept me in tormoil because this christian group was not to associate with the other. I could not fully join myself to any certain one, so that kept me with the feeling of not really belonging, yet the groups I was involve with through the years, I gave of my time to the various causes much more so than the average member. Even so I never felt I truly belong to any of them and I felt if anyone knew how I felt that they would not except me. It's kind of crazy, but in my not wanting seperation, I have experienced seperation even more so. I have even experienced separation belonging to these forums. It is a daily thing with me. I do know though, that we are all one with everything and that all separation is illusion. I hope that makes sense. CC , " P. Alexandria " <ladyinsubstance wrote: > > I really appreciated reading this e-mail. Thank you Chrism. It was very timely for me. > > I spent most of yesterday in turmoil in part because of feeling pulled in so very many directions with all of this, and so much of it so antithetical to everything I have believed most of my life. > > You talked about taking what resonates and leaving the rest. That's pretty much what I've always done with everything I've come across in my life but it's difficult when so little of it resonates. > > I think having the Kundalini awaken so early in my life may have been hugely responsible for making me feel like such an outsider all my life. I looked around at people and they all seemed like alien beings to me. It took me a very long time to begin to connect with the things I actually did share with others, but I've still never quite felt " one " with the rest of humanity. > > Coming here initially gave me the first twinges of a sense of belonging, but I am still struggling because I read so much here that still does not resonate. I've always believed in a universal consciousness, that in essence, we all contain godhood. But beyond that, I have few spiritual beliefs, though I take it all in and let it rumble around inside me in case someday it all makes more sense to me. > > Today, nothing makes much sense to me at all. When I read about Jesus and prayer and psychic phenomena or holding our tongues and hands a certain way, all of that leaves me feeling as if I am still standing on the outside. I feel no resonance with so much of what I read. (And I hope that does not sound critical of any of that because it is not meant that way). I wonder if there are others out there with the same experience. > > I cannot doubt that something profound and life-changing is happening to my body and my psyche but I cannot say what it is. That it is somehow related to that universal consciousness seems very likely. Is it related to love and forgiveness and service? I just don't know. Those things have been elements on the path I have taken to get here, but there are other things, more neutral things that have been far more prominent in my journey like acceptance, honesty, integrity (as in being what and who I really am and manifesting that in all areas of my life) and even pain. > > Again, I hope none of this sounds critical to anyone here. I'm struggling to find my way in this and still feel quite lost. > > If any of what I say resonates with anyone here, I would enjoy talking with you. > > To all of you, thank you for reading my troubled thoughts. > > Alexandria > > chrism <> wrote: When working with the Kundalini, there are few standardized facts > that are available.... > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.