For and everyone else :Update and dream !

[Guest guest]

I think I've been feeling much better the past two days.I had a

spinal sweep last night and I was awake but not laying down in my

bed.It felt like I was burning up and all that time my air

conditioner was on but I couldn't feel it.Phew,hot,hot,hot!I had a

strange dream this morning ! I was with my kids and we were looking

for this mall that we saw on a billboard.We asked someone and she

told us where it was and I suddenly remembered that I've been there

before.We went to Target and I started looking at some jeans when

all of a sudden I look around me and I see the man I've been

dreaming about for the past year and I'm shocked and then I look

away.He comes next to us and says hi and tells me that he would like

to check out some books from the library but does not live there.I

volunteer immediately to let him use my library card and then I wake

up because my daughter brought the cat into my room.I had a couple

of dreams before about him ,me and my kids but the majority of the

dreams were just with me and him.I also had this other dream before

this and it was really yucky.I was in a house and I go into this

room and it was so dirty in there!It was my 17 year old daughter in

there and she was covered in this filthy,urine soaked down comforter

that I recognized as being mine.I gasped at the filth in that room!I

then proceed to clean up.I put the comforter in the washer,sent her

to take a shower and then start to clean up everything that's under

the tv stand.You would not believe what I found in there.A bucked of

spoiled milk,several packages of meat which was still cold

(strange),several rotten bones etc.i than start to clean the floor

and wash everything.I don't know what this means but I feel like I

have to tell you something about my daughter.She no longer lives

with me since she stabbed her oldest sister last year.I was forced

to go to court to testify against her and she was sentenced to a

correctional facility for an year.I was issued an order of

protection.I knew I was to cut all communications with her but she

keeps calling me and running away from there and everytime she goes

back she has to start from the beginning.Last week she pushed her

way inside by my 12 year old son and I was surprised to see her

inside when I returned home with my other daughter from a doctor's

appointment.I am not afraid but she must not be here with us.She got

herself pregnant and she does not want to go back but I made her

leave.She called me last night to ask me again if I would take her

in and I said no.She then asked me how I can be so hartless and she

started to lay the guilt on me but I can't be touched by anything

anymore and I told her so.How do you practice detachment and tough

love without seeming hartless?She keeps pushing harder and harder

and harder until one day I will have to tell her that I don't want

to hear or know anything about her.At least I know that I will have

to do that.While I was talking on the phone with her last night the

spinal sweep was happening to me and she told me that she could

barely hear me and if my phone was tapped because the line was all

full of static.I told her that someone does not want me to talk to

her and it was the truth.I think K wants me to sever my relationship

with her or whatever we have left.I didn't want to reveal too much

about my personal life until now but as you can see I have had to

lose a lot during the past year.

 

Love,Nicole

[Guest guest]

Hi Nicole,

I have to say I find it hard to believe that mother K

would want you to turn your back on your daughter, no

matter what she has done, she was only a teenager. I

was very troubled at the age of 17, not as troubled as

that, but what my point is , is that we can all

change.

I do not believe in tough love at all, what you are

doing is not helping her I would say IMHO.

I think she needs love more then ever, and

forgiveness, you need to set her the example of love.

You can still make sure she goes where she's meant to

be i.e. the correctional facility, but do it with

warmth and love. She is probably terrified deep down

she is losing her mother.

No one should lose their mother.

Shakti loves us all and we should do the same.

I hope I'm not coming across to harsh with you Nicole

but I really feel strongly about this.

I wish your family love and light

Elektra x x x

 

 

 

 

 

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