Some musings

[Guest guest]

Yet another rollercoaster type day today but one that made me do a

lot more thinking not just about the phenomena occurring at the

moment but about what I will do with the gifts I am given ultimately,

and who I will touch (or not) and whether I am truly committed (or

not). There have been several stages on my spiritual path where I

have been asked by my guides, and the angels and masters these very

questions. It has been a difficult road at times, but a road well

worth it. I find myself more and more committed every day, but that

does not mean that I do not have my moments. Today had one of those

moments. I had a great day up until I was informed that I was going

to have some of my calls monitored by the client,(I am an inbound

telemarketer - now you can see why I want to get out of this job so

bad lol Oh and by the way, inbound telemarketers are not the ones

who call you at 6:00 am on a Saturday morning ) and of course this

made me very nervous, because although I am used to being monitored

in house, it was because my quality was as high as it was that they

wanted me to be their showcase, and I truly wanted to do my best for

them, especially for my team leader, who is one of the few there that

I feel genuinely cares about us. So although I scored a 75%, I felt

like a disappointment, and although my team leader was not as upset

about it as I was, one of my bigger bosses was, and made sure i (and

several around me) knew about it. That was one of those moments I

really wished that I could have opened a wrinkle into another

dimension and stayed there. To make it worse after I left I realized

there was something else I was supposed to do today and forgot to do,

so hopefully that will not have big repercussions. I do not normally

have such difficulties but right now I am stressed about my job life.

Still I know that i am learning and growing, even when I cannot see

it, and one thing I am learning is that I really do have the strength

to endure these storms, and that I really am committed, especially on

those days when I am wishing I could just sail into the sunset. I

know that the reason I am asked how committed i am is not because

they want to know, they already do. They want me to be mindful of it.

They see who I truly am, they know what I am supposed to be and want

me to discover it, and they want me to be free. Having gotten all

this off my chest... I am still having the energy sensations

though I just ate a couple of hamburgers (have been eating potatos a

lot lately, though I need to get more). I find myself wanting a lot

more vegetables and carbohydrates, and being turned off by junkfood

these days, considering I ate a lot of meat before that is truly

saying something. Oh and another great piece of news, I planted a

mango seed recently, and tonight I could see the shoot coming up.

[Guest guest]

Paragraphs my friend make these posts much easier to read.

 

Petty tyrants have a lesson to teach as much as the loved and

respected teachers do. They teach us about our ego. And they can be

merciless.

 

It isn't easy having Kundalini in the west as there is no formal

doctrine that can help you through the ins and outs. This is why we

are here. To help a friend recognize where a person, such as you can

come to realize what the reason is or purpose of such teachings and

how they fit into the bigger picture.

 

You are not your work. And yet you are. This is where the " Inner

Joy " can play a significant role. As Kundalini magnifies emotions to

the point of pain, so will it magnify the joy. Keep this joy private

and unto yourself only and draw on it when the petty tyrant

professor comes to criticize or complain.

 

You are working to get to a place where these issues and people will

not bother you. No it's not easy at first but as you continuously

self correct you will get the hang of it.lol - blessings and don't

call me I'll call you. - c`hrism