Thoughts and Questions about Service

[Guest guest]

I am wondering if we are led by K into performing service for others

selflessly without realizing it when we are truly surrendering to

it, and if that kind of service is as beneficial for us as service

consciously done sans expectations.

 

I also find more and more lately that I am struggling with a core

issue of mine, one that was not always this way. I lost my love for

performing service for others a long time ago due to various factors

in my life, though at the same time there has been the duality that

I love everyone and in that love I want to give the shirt off my

back at times, and so a war ensues inside.

 

I have attempted to keep my ego imprisoned within for a long time

but there are times when, like a volcano, eventually the pressures

build up and the eruption begins in grand fashion.

 

With the K I have felt this war intensify. It almost feels like the

ego knows that it is on its way out so it is attempting to go out in

a blaze of glory (I assume ego is where all the " I want this and I

want that " comes from).

 

While I look forward big time to the spiritual gifts that will come,

but for me the biggest gifts would be ego death in grand style and a

radiant love for others, so radiant that no opposition to that love

could make a stand. That way all those gifts would be meaningful.

 

I guess I am being led to write this as a means of surrendering to

Kundalini, and I am grateful for what she teaches me. I look back at

my recent posts and see all the I's in them, and while I am still

excited at the slightest changes I experience I also realize that if

I do not help others then this is all a waste.

 

Am I even remotely on the right track? Can anyone here relate to

this particular battle at this point in their walks?

 

I really want to say how grateful I am to everyone here, who whether

they realize it or not are teaching me so much, and each one of you

are wonderful. Thank you all for that.

[Guest guest]

James hi

I can relate a lot of what you have written and thank you for

writing it as i probably could not have found the words as well as

you did.

Yes, i lost the will to help others as much as possible,perhaps

because others taunted me or it got thrown back in my face,sometimes

because i got nothing in return, I make a lot of promises and if i

dont act on them at that time then i will forget about them, pure

intentions i have but a lack of follow up, however,like you I am now

beginning to rephrase things ,replace i with we ect, at one stage

there back a good few posts, i appologised for everything being

about me and had guilt for going on and on about me,lol

I dont think its about us being selfish or me me me anymore,i think

we have to clear these thoughts from our bodies in order to move on,

and when you feel prompted to write something then you are doing it

for the group as im sure theres quite a few of us can identify with

what you have written,so then the I becomes WE, and you have done a

selfless act without realising it.

Thank you James

Karen

 

, " James "

<prince_jaburin wrote:

>

> I am wondering if we are led by K into performing service for

others

> selflessly without realizing it when we are truly surrendering to

> it, and if that kind of service is as beneficial for us as service

> consciously done sans expectations.

>

> I also find more and more lately that I am struggling with a core

> issue of mine, one that was not always this way. I lost my love

for

> performing service for others a long time ago due to various

factors

> in my life, though at the same time there has been the duality

that

> I love everyone and in that love I want to give the shirt off my

> back at times, and so a war ensues inside.

>

> I have attempted to keep my ego imprisoned within for a long time

> but there are times when, like a volcano, eventually the pressures

> build up and the eruption begins in grand fashion.

>

> With the K I have felt this war intensify. It almost feels like

the

> ego knows that it is on its way out so it is attempting to go out

in

> a blaze of glory (I assume ego is where all the " I want this and I

> want that " comes from).

>

> While I look forward big time to the spiritual gifts that will

come,

> but for me the biggest gifts would be ego death in grand style and

a

> radiant love for others, so radiant that no opposition to that

love

> could make a stand. That way all those gifts would be meaningful.

>

> I guess I am being led to write this as a means of surrendering to

> Kundalini, and I am grateful for what she teaches me. I look back

at

> my recent posts and see all the I's in them, and while I am still

> excited at the slightest changes I experience I also realize that

if

> I do not help others then this is all a waste.

>

> Am I even remotely on the right track? Can anyone here relate to

> this particular battle at this point in their walks?

>

> I really want to say how grateful I am to everyone here, who

whether

> they realize it or not are teaching me so much, and each one of

you

> are wonderful. Thank you all for that.

>

[Guest guest]

James,

I am not of the belief that the ego ever leaves...it is a part of the

whole body. But there is balance...and that is what I have learned to do...is

balance. You are noticing your triggers. Look at what it was that brought this

particular emotion to the surface...what situation...and then while

meditating...ask to see what lies at the core of this. When the core is

found...one goes through what I call the cycles...these are situations that the

universe brings to help one let go of the habit one has in how they react to the

situations that bring the memory of the core to the surface to be released.

 

Adina

 

 

 

Get your own web address.

Have a HUGE year through Small Business.

 

 

[Guest guest]

Thank you everyone for the responses, it helps a lot to know I am

not the only one feeling like this at times. I think the fact that I

am having such a hard time getting grounded lately and the fact that

there are times I feel so out of place, even here, that I wonder how

I am perceived by others. It is not that anyone here has made me

feel unwelcome, if anything just the opposite.

 

It is just that I sometimes try too hard to belong, especially when

I feel so at home in a group, be it electronic or in person, another

area of my life that K is helping shed some light on.

 

I feel more grounded today, thankfully, and so it is easier to make

sense of the last few days. The fact that I am working on growing

some mango trees has been a help, as gardening in general is one of

the easiest ways for me to get grounded and centered. One of the

trees sprouted a couple of days ago and is already two or three

inches tall with leaves a half inch and growing like a weed. A true

miracle.

 

, Adina Bolt

<whitefeatherprincess wrote:

>

> James,

> I am not of the belief that the ego ever leaves...it is a

part of the whole body. But there is balance...and that is what I

have learned to do...is balance. You are noticing your triggers.

Look at what it was that brought this particular emotion to the

surface...what situation...and then while meditating...ask to see

what lies at the core of this. When the core is found...one goes

through what I call the cycles...these are situations that the

universe brings to help one let go of the habit one has in how they

react to the situations that bring the memory of the core to the

surface to be released.

>

> Adina

>

>

>

> Get your own web address.

> Have a HUGE year through Small Business.

>

>