my dream

[Guest guest]

I had a strange dream while in a nap this evening. In the dream, I went out for

a walk, and while walking, I heard someone say " It's going to get very

dark..soon..go home now. "

I remember that I looked up when I heard the voice, and I saw a seemingly

glowing face. It was hauntingly close to me, and wearing a hood. I think though,

that it was a child who had ridden his bike up next to me and was speaking of

the coming storm, as I happened to turn and become started at how close his face

was to mine. He probably had thought I wasn't listening (as I was in fact

daydreaming or something, while at the same time listening to him) he probably

wondered if I was understanding him, since my face was turned away still ..and

my eyes were focussed on something off in the distance. I think the reason why

his eyes were frighteningly wide, was because when I finally turned and saw him

right there, my eyes probably looked like that from the surge of panic.

 

Anyway, I decided to just keep on walking. I was walking up to the store. I

don't think I needed anything. I think I just did it out of habit- that I

actually didn't have any destination in mind. I was just going to walk up there

and circle the parking lot and then come home, so I ignored the advice I was

given. Suddenly it became pitch dark..I mean it was as if someone had just

turned out the sky's lights. Every single bit of light there had been was gone,

and nothing was evident. I didn't know where I was walking. I hadn't changed out

of my uniform after work, so I was still dressed in all black. A car pulled in

to the parking lot and circled around and I think drove away. I think one of the

kids told him about the storm and he looked out to see all of the darkness and

went home. I was so afraid he'd hit me, because I blended right in with the

darkness, that I was hiding as to what seemed like shrubbery that I could get

instead of thinking to ask him for a ride.

After he left, the realization hit me. I was all alone in pitch darkness and I

couldn't even see the road ahead of me to be able to walk home. I was scared. I

slowly let myself drop down to a squat on the ground, and with my head in my

hands, I began to cry. Then I thought maybe one of the kids with a bike will let

me take a ride on the back. I asked, and I think it wasn't doable. I had my cell

phone, and I could've called Mike, but I couldn't make myself do it. I sat on

the ground in tears, feeling all alone and scared. Then I became lucid, and

changed my dream so that I woke up sleeping in my past life mother's house- safe

and warm in her arms. The end. Any thoughts? It seems like it might be a wake up

call for me to let go of the fear that I will ask for what I need and I will be

turned down.

 

I was trying to learn from this dream, and upon contemplation I thought of how

yesterday Mike offered to take me to work, but the bus was coming any minute, so

I told him it's okay you don't have to. Then I wound up missing my bus (actually

it was 10 minutes late, so I thought I had missed it), I came back into the

house feeling like a shame. I didn't want to tell him that I was stupid enough

to miss it. I didn't want him to feel like he had to 'clean up after my

mess'..that I haven't matured enough and he has to feel as though he needs to be

my guardian as well. I cringed as I entered the house. I looked for him, but he

had gone back to his room, it was still early in the morning. I thought, oh

well..I'll go in late. I'll go and wait somewhere until the next bus comes. I

felt like crying because I screwed up. Then he came out of his room and saw me

standing there thinking.

He asked my if I missed my bus and offered to drive me in. I had my head down in

humility, and I could feel his sadness as he didn't want me to see him as

someone who wouldn't be there for me if I needed him. It was a nice little

lesson in ask and you shall receive. I never like to ask for anything.

 

Off topic here- but does it mean anything to suddenly out of nowhere smell

raspberries? I have been smelling them for the past five or ten minutes. Also, I

noticed that lately, if I drink anything with raspberry in it, I feel a very

nice little rush, and I'm suddenly filled with joy and laughter and peace.

Love,

Tara

 

 

 

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