My surrender- and group

[Guest guest]

It's been some days when asked us about what are we disposed to

surrender and to which extend are we willing and prepared to go.

It has been turning in my mind since that day and couldn't find an answer

to it, the whole thing for me was like a big interrogative mark mixed with

doubts, questions, fears, uncertainties, physical symptoms, some dreams related

to the matter, emotional roller coaster and a single way conversation etc.....

Reading the posts i could identify myself in each and everyone of you

guys and i continued my monologue with K, for me it has been kind of difficult

talking to her as a deity much less praying, i usually do this with Jesus when i

talk to Him since i surrendered my life to Him and said to Him " Thy will be

done " some fifteen years ago when His gift to me was an incredible sense of

inner peace and calmness which little by little i gave it back by letting the

day to day problems getting so overwhelming by giving them more size and volume

than they really were, but as they say, it is by the fire that the gold is

purified and by the difficulties that the soul learns, and the monologue changed

to a dialogue and i sensed that i was ready to surrender the [ i shouldn't have

done this or that ] or [if i had more knowledge in this or that i would have

done things differently] but then i realized that when i acted in every specific

way, i have acted out of good will,, thinking

that it was the best to my knowledge at that time, so i surrender the self

blame for the wrong decisions taken and the sense of guilt that was following me

for a long time accepting myself as a continuous student in the school of life,

gaving up the idea of the desire to " i want to go back Home yesterday " by

starting to apreciate the gift of every new day taking advantage of every minute

to be of more help to the fellow traveler on the same journey as i.....i know it

is a long process, but i don't mind taking it slowly but surely in baby steps.

I have been asking shakti to make me feel her presence if she is for real

and yesterday when lying in bed i started feeling a strong fluttering in my

second chakra and i said " if it is you shakti could you please go a bit higher

to my solar plexus and then i felt the fluttering going up and stayed a few

minutes before going up to my heart chakra then to my throat chakra it was

accompanied by a kind of pressure, like a fist pressing on all that distance

from my tummy to my throat with a nice feeling of warmth, then i started

feeling an energy current going down till my toes and up till my throat few

times, i smiled and thanked shakti for being so generous in her manifestation,

knowing that the scatterfield was lifted away from me since the third day of the

scatterfield, so in theory, i haven't participated in neither scatterfield nor

shaktipat.

There is still too many things to be figured out and i am willing to go

through it till the end.

Thank you all for taking the time to read my long post, it sure feels good

to share it all with you wonderful people of a magnificent group.

 

Love,

Marie

 

 

 

 

Sé un Mejor Amante del Cine

¿Quieres saber cómo? ¡Deja que otras personas te ayuden!.