sending love to & the grou

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the encouragement. I get frustrated with the pace of this, and

intensely irritated physically...and i am noticing that I am still growing,

healing, and becoming stronger within this. I deeply long for the santuary

of my mind and body to be restored (unbelievable desire), but I am trying to

notice what I am learning/forming, and the blessings within the curse (I

went to the beach tonight by myself...safely close to the N Judah and street

lights...I have been deeply connecting with the sand and the ocean, and

feeling my entire lung network merge and breath with the earth and sound

around me, my body now craves root vegetables every day, I crave to breath

with the trees).

 

I am actually getting to a point where I think my body is going to dictate

my next move and it wants it (if i am not forced to move to my parents house

for a while due to finances)...and my body is going to demand trees, pacific

ocean, clean beaches, and city training access. the sand is in me now. i

breathe the ocean. i crave to be in space with the stars clear and wide

above me, the ocean in front, and the city behind me (nice to feel the

people from this standpoint, i am still a punk hippie urban activist raver

afterall, lol).

 

Chrism, you kind of reinitiated me into my natural/primal being much more

strongly and at a faster pace than I was going. I now know I needed this to

expedite the healing, grounding and transformation within it, not to mention

symptom management without medication. I needed this in order to survive

what I am going through without pathologizing myself...

 

I am able to do this even with the constant chatter and attacks and attempts

to interfere with my merging/meditations with the elements and the Divine

Celestial energies.

 

Where I am still weak, is that I have been sick 4 times in the last

1.5months, and still am on disability and not yet able to pursue

getting a

job...so the bottom $$ is crunching me for continuing strongly in my healing

path, but I am trying to trust in Spirit, and choose to find a way to make a

conscious intentional good move rather than being forced by financial

crisis.

 

I continue to integrate and transform around the time I spent with you.

A spider is crawling down on my keypad as I write this.

 

Anyway, like those who get hit by lightening and survive, something really

strong and unknown is forming in me, I have had Kali come through a few

times, as well as a white Tibetan female deity with skulls around her head,

my ego is pretty far out of the way alot of the time (like a disease or

giving birth, this is forced surrender, lol), also I have had moments where

I have dropped entirely into the clear light of consciousness that is

unaffected and at peace despite what my body/mind is going through. I think

that is a really good sign.

 

I know I will keep having hard days, but I gotta keep my eyes on the prize.

 

Peace,

Laura

 

 

 

On 7/12/07, chrism <> wrote:

>

> Good to read you Laura,

> You will eventually find that as you are able

> to reap your own level of awareness inside the cacaphony your skills

> of discernment will increase as will your ability to harvest some

> powerful truths that may have been unnoticed before.

>

> I wish you well upon your journey and do extend what assistance I can

> give that you can receive inside your process. I have a feeling you

> will do and are doing quite well! - Stay away from mountain lions -

> chrism

>

>

>

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Some of the Hindu renderings of Kali are fearsome looking.

 

Nice to read of your progress,things will work out.

 

Igor.

 

 

:

spacegypsie: Thu, 12 Jul 2007 02:18:48 -0800Re:

Re: sending love to chrism & the grou

 

 

 

 

Thanks for the encouragement. I get frustrated with the pace of this,

andintensely irritated physically...and i am noticing that I am still

growing,healing, and becoming stronger within this. I deeply long for the

santuaryof my mind and body to be restored (unbelievable desire), but I am

trying tonotice what I am learning/forming, and the blessings within the curse

(Iwent to the beach tonight by myself...safely close to the N Judah and

streetlights...I have been deeply connecting with the sand and the ocean,

andfeeling my entire lung network merge and breath with the earth and

soundaround me, my body now craves root vegetables every day, I crave to

breathwith the trees).I am actually getting to a point where I think my body is

going to dictatemy next move and it wants it (if i am not forced to move to my

parents housefor a while due to finances)...and my body is going to demand

trees, pacificocean, clean beaches, and city training access. the sand is in me

now. ibreathe the ocean. i crave to be in space with the stars clear and

wideabove me, the ocean in front, and the city behind me (nice to feel thepeople

from this standpoint, i am still a punk hippie urban activist raverafterall,

lol).Chrism, you kind of reinitiated me into my natural/primal being much

morestrongly and at a faster pace than I was going. I now know I needed this

toexpedite the healing, grounding and transformation within it, not to

mentionsymptom management without medication. I needed this in order to

survivewhat I am going through without pathologizing myself...I am able to do

this even with the constant chatter and attacks and attemptsto interfere with my

merging/meditations with the elements and the DivineCelestial energies.Where I

am still weak, is that I have been sick 4 times in the last1.5months, and still

am on disability and not yet able to pursuegetting ajob...so the bottom $$ is

crunching me for continuing strongly in my healingpath, but I am trying to trust

in Spirit, and choose to find a way to make aconscious intentional good move

rather than being forced by financialcrisis.I continue to integrate and

transform around the time I spent with you.A spider is crawling down on my

keypad as I write this.Anyway, like those who get hit by lightening and survive,

something reallystrong and unknown is forming in me, I have had Kali come

through a fewtimes, as well as a white Tibetan female deity with skulls around

her head,my ego is pretty far out of the way alot of the time (like a disease

orgiving birth, this is forced surrender, lol), also I have had moments whereI

have dropped entirely into the clear light of consciousness that isunaffected

and at peace despite what my body/mind is going through. I thinkthat is a really

good sign.I know I will keep having hard days, but I gotta keep my eyes on the

prize.Peace,LauraOn 7/12/07, chrism <> wrote:>> Good to

read you Laura,> You will eventually find that as you are able> to reap your own

level of awareness inside the cacaphony your skills> of discernment will

increase as will your ability to harvest some> powerful truths that may have

been unnoticed before.>> I wish you well upon your journey and do extend what

assistance I can> give that you can receive inside your process. I have a

feeling you> will do and are doing quite well! - Stay away from mountain lions

-> chrism>> >