Guest guest Posted July 21, 2007 Report Share Posted July 21, 2007 Hello Linda, No worries Dances with Cats!. No need to leave unless you feel compelled to do so. You have a home in this community for as long as you wish. The list will have its fluctuations - especially with the amount of postings and with the attendance. It isnt really about those aspects imho. It is about having a place where the Kundalini can have a discourse among people who are inside of the experience or are investigating having the experience. With kindness and consideration and love even tough love. Not everyone can be inside of this kind of environment, it is uncommon on the Internet I am finding, but you seem to have held up very well thus far. I am grateful and happy for your friendship and experiences and love. No worries my friend. - , " Linda " <crazycats711 wrote: > > Last night I spent the biggest portion of the evening reading Betsy's > website (Great site by the way, Betsy. Whenever I am able to have > some alone time agian I plan to do the mirror healing exercise). I am > ready for summer vacations to be over with. > > In my meditation this morning I kind of went off into thinking about > Betsy and all she has been through with her K. It lead to me thinking > about how demanding the K is to how gentle and wooing the Holy Spirit > is in comparison. The Holy Spirit wooes until you are able to come to > the place of surrender and once you surrender it gives you the power > to carry through. I have also been reading the book Stevef > recommended to me, Eckhart Tolle's " A New Earth " and it goes into > great depths about the ego and how it functions and controls. At > that point it (the ego) reminded me so much how demmanding K is that > I ending the thinking and went back to concentration on my breathing > and keeping my mind blank. That didn't last long, I fell into the > hynogogic state or a dream. My ability to stay in an aware state has > really gotton bad, I could not tell if it was a dream images or > hynogogic images. My ability to have an OBE or lucid dream is gone > with the wind. My dream life has changed, it'a all I can do to > remember little bits and pieces of dreams and there is little control. > > Anyway, I fell into some kind of state. The image of a monkey type > creature appeared and I got the impression it symbolized an ego. Then > there was another image of something I could not make out but the > symbol breathe in and sucked up the monkey and when it breathed out, > it breathed out three monkeys. Then imediately after, there was the > image of a large blonde man setting in an airplane (one of those old > kind of planes that do not have a top). This guy was way too big/tall > for the plane, his head was way up above the windshield. He was just > sitting there laughing his arse off, really big time. > > My feeling since has been one of uneasiness, unsettling. I can't get > it out of my mind. > > I can understand the monkey part I think, because last year when I > was focusing on becoming more aware of my egos, it seemed like when I > did recongnized/become aware of an ego, it would lose it's strength > or control, but it seemed like many more would pop up taking it's > place, like it became a never ending battle. I was seeing more and > more egos in myself and everyone around me, until all I was seeing > was egos. Everthing was an ego. LOL! I don't know why the symbol was > a monkey. i guess I need to look up what a monkey sybolizes. > > I have this really big ego thing. You see, every church I have every > joined has died. I am a church killer! Hehe! It appears that I may > be a forum killer as well. Several forums, I've become " connected " to > have pass over or have come close to it. Or is it that I just happen > to pick dying churches or dying forums to join. I hope this forum > isn't dying, but it sure feels like the life has been sucked out of > it here in the last few weeks or is it just everyone is one vacation > or something or other all of a sudden. > > Do I need to leave??? I left the last church before it completely > died and it has healed and has made a come back. I also left the last > forum I belonged to before coming here to these . It > seems to be doing a little better since I quit posting. Is all this > just a coincidence and they would have died whether I had become a > member or not? With these forums, it seems that once I joined, then > it comes under attack by various individuals who seem to join solely > for the purpose of causing disharmony. Like this forum has been > attacked by several people now, just in the short time I have been > here. Has it been attacked in the same way before this year? I have > read a lot of the older post and I have not seen where this has taken > place before this year. > > Do you know what it really seems like to me? It seems like I am being > followed by some evil entity that destroys every place where I find > spiritual nurishment and connection. How big an ego is that? > Hehehehe! I don't know if it is my imagination or if it is real? A > lot of stuff just doesn't make much sense to me. > > I have come to care for all of you here on this forum a lot. > Detachment from this group would be very totally painful for me. > Love you mucho grande, > Linda > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 2007 Report Share Posted July 21, 2007 No! I do not want to leave the forum. I just let fear of losing another forum home get a grip on me. It just means I have let myself get very attached to you all, the way I was to the WB forum. It got ripped away in a matter of hours. I grieved over it's loss for a loooonnngggg time. I'm not so sure I am over the grieving yet. I was not going to let myself get so attached to another group of people, but it's too late. It snuck up on me. LOL! Even the forums I left, I still go there and check up on them almost everyday even though I don't post. I can't go check up on the WB forum though, it got totally wipe off the net, except for a for pages I googled and found floating out there in cyberspace. I hunted them down and saved them to my computer. Just little bits and pieces, that's all that's left of it. I think maybe it effected me so strongly, because at about that same time I lost a sister, came close to losing my mom several time close together and even came close to losing my own life. My husband announced that he was going to divorce me while I was being operated on. I think he was wishing/hoping I would die. On top of all that, my youngest daughter decided to disown me as her mother and separated herself and the new grandchild from me, making a lot of acusations that were not so. She stayed out of my life for over 6 months, not having anything to do with me, all because I didn't make it to her daughter's christening. I was helping with my mom at the time. I have left out lots and lots of details of what all I went through. It was a very stressful time that lasted about a year and a half. That all took place over 2 years or so ago. I had the kundalini experience somewhere in there toward the end of all that. Then, just when I thought things were getting straighten out along came all those dog attacks, in dreams, in OBEs, and in real life. Droxine seem to think they may have been related to my fear of Kundalini, which is a big possibility, because since I have surrendered to K, all the dog attacks have left. Haven't had one since I made the decision to take part in the summer Shaktipat. I figure I still have a lot of ego stuff to work through. So, I really shouldn't go anywhere. I sure don't want to go through it alone. I do have a couple of phone numbers and lots of e-mail addresses, in case the forum should be zapped. I won't be left alone, unless the whole net is taken away. Silly me! Blessings & love, Linda , " chrism " <> wrote: > > Hello Linda, > No worries Dances with Cats!. No need to leave unless you > feel compelled to do so. You have a home in this community for as > long as you wish. The list will have its fluctuations - especially > with the amount of postings and with the attendance. > > It isnt really about those aspects imho. It is about having a place > where the Kundalini can have a discourse among people who are inside > of the experience or are investigating having the experience. > > With kindness and consideration and love even tough love. Not > everyone can be inside of this kind of environment, it is uncommon on > the Internet I am finding, but you seem to have held up very well > thus far. I am grateful and happy for your friendship and experiences > and love. No worries my friend. - > > > > > > , " Linda " > <crazycats711@> wrote: > > > > Last night I spent the biggest portion of the evening reading > Betsy's > > website (Great site by the way, Betsy. Whenever I am able to have > > some alone time agian I plan to do the mirror healing exercise). I > am > > ready for summer vacations to be over with. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2007 Report Share Posted July 22, 2007 Not silly Linda, just work that needs to be undertaken being brought to your attention. I would look at this as a positive occurance because now you will deal with it and work on putting it behind you. This place would not be the same without you! Sarita , " Linda " <crazycats711 wrote: > > No! I do not want to leave the forum. I just let fear of losing > another forum home get a grip on me. It just means I have let > myself get very attached to you all, the way I was to the WB forum. > It got ripped away in a matter of hours. I grieved over it's loss for > a loooonnngggg time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2007 Report Share Posted July 22, 2007 Linda, I felt a great deal of compassion and love for you , to the point of tears, as I read your post. I will, if it is all right with you, offer you a soft, gentle cocoon of love where you can go in meditation and just rest for a bit. Think soft pink energy enclosing you and keeping everything else out for as long as you want to rest and become refreshed before you go back out into the world. Or use it in sleep if you wish. Perhaps you will never use it but be sort of strengthened and not feel alone as you deal with things. I have been where you are, may very well go there again, so know you have an energetic friend out here to rest with if you wish. I find it terrible to find myself alone after being soul connected with others as so very few understand..... In gratefulness, Sherri -- The high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than rule-Albert Einstein -------------- Original message -------------- " Linda " <crazycats711 No! I do not want to leave the forum. I just let fear of losing another forum home get a grip on me. It just means I have let myself get very attached to you all, the way I was to the WB forum. It got ripped away in a matter of hours. I grieved over it's loss for a loooonnngggg time. I'm not so sure I am over the grieving yet. I was not going to let myself get so attached to another group of people, but it's too late. It snuck up on me. LOL! Even the forums I left, I still go there and check up on them almost everyday even though I don't post. I can't go check up on the WB forum though, it got totally wipe off the net, except for a for pages I googled and found floating out there in cyberspace. I hunted them down and saved them to my computer. Just little bits and pieces, that's all that's left of it. I think maybe it effected me so strongly, because at about that same time I lost a sister, came close to losing my mom several time close together and even came close to losing my own life. My husband announced that he was going to divorce me while I was being operated on. I think he was wishing/hoping I would die. On top of all that, my youngest daughter decided to disown me as her mother and separated herself and the new grandchild from me, making a lot of acusations that were not so. She stayed out of my life for over 6 months, not having anything to do with me, all because I didn't make it to her daughter's christening. I was helping with my mom at the time. I have left out lots and lots of details of what all I went through. It was a very stressful time that lasted about a year and a half. That all took place over 2 years or so ago. I had the kundalini experience somewhere in there toward the end of all that. Then, just when I thought things were getting straighten out along came all those dog attacks, in dreams, in OBEs, and in real life. Droxine seem to think they may have been related to my fear of Kundalini, which is a big possibility, because since I have surrendered to K, all the dog attacks have left. Haven't had one since I made the decision to take part in the summer Shaktipat. I figure I still have a lot of ego stuff to work through. So, I really shouldn't go anywhere. I sure don't want to go through it alone. I do have a couple of phone numbers and lots of e-mail addresses, in case the forum should be zapped. I won't be left alone, unless the whole net is taken away. Silly me! Blessings & love, Linda , " chrism " <> wrote: > > Hello Linda, > No worries Dances with Cats!. No need to leave unless you > feel compelled to do so. You have a home in this community for as > long as you wish. The list will have its fluctuations - especially > with the amount of postings and with the attendance. > > It isnt really about those aspects imho. It is about having a place > where the Kundalini can have a discourse among people who are inside > of the experience or are investigating having the experience. > > With kindness and consideration and love even tough love. Not > everyone can be inside of this kind of environment, it is uncommon on > the Internet I am finding, but you seem to have held up very well > thus far. I am grateful and happy for your friendship and experiences > and love. No worries my friend. - > > > > > > , " Linda " > <crazycats711@> wrote: > > > > Last night I spent the biggest portion of the evening reading > Betsy's > > website (Great site by the way, Betsy. Whenever I am able to have > > some alone time agian I plan to do the mirror healing exercise). I > am > > ready for summer vacations to be over with. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2007 Report Share Posted July 22, 2007 Sending you a hug, Linda. I'm really beginning to see how everything that happens is needed to get us where we're to be. When your sail is up you can trust the Wind, especially the Holy Wind, to carry you. Even if the Net collapsed, you're still in good Hands. imho. =] Love, dhyana , " Linda " <crazycats711 wrote: > > No! I do not want to leave the forum. I just let fear of losing > another forum home get a grip on me. It just means I have let > myself get very attached to you all, the way I was to the WB forum. > It got ripped away in a matter of hours. I grieved over it's loss for > a loooonnngggg time. I'm not so sure I am over the grieving yet. I > was not going to let myself get so attached to another group of > people, but it's too late. It snuck up on me. LOL! Even the forums I > left, I still go there and check up on them almost everyday even > though I don't post. I can't go check up on the WB forum though, it > got totally wipe off the net, except for a for pages I googled and > found floating out there in cyberspace. I hunted them down and saved > them to my computer. Just little bits and pieces, that's all that's > left of it. > I think maybe it effected me so strongly, because at about that same > time I lost a sister, came close to losing my mom several time close > together and even came close to losing my own life. My husband > announced that he was going to divorce me while I was being operated > on. I think he was wishing/hoping I would die. On top of all that, my > youngest daughter decided to disown me as her mother and separated > herself and the new grandchild from me, making a lot of acusations > that were not so. She stayed out of my life for over 6 months, not > having anything to do with me, all because I didn't make it to her > daughter's christening. I was helping with my mom at the time. I have > left out lots and lots of details of what all I went through. It was > a very stressful time that lasted about a year and a half. > > That all took place over 2 years or so ago. I had the kundalini > experience somewhere in there toward the end of all that. Then, just > when I thought things were getting straighten out along came all > those dog attacks, in dreams, in OBEs, and in real life. Droxine seem > to think they may have been related to my fear of Kundalini, which is > a big possibility, because since I have surrendered to K, all the dog > attacks have left. Haven't had one since I made the decision to take > part in the summer Shaktipat. > > I figure I still have a lot of ego stuff to work through. So, I > really shouldn't go anywhere. I sure don't want to go through it > alone. I do have a couple of phone numbers and lots of e-mail > addresses, in case the forum should be zapped. I won't be left > alone, unless the whole net is taken away. Silly me! > > Blessings & love, > Linda > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2007 Report Share Posted July 22, 2007 Thank you Sherri, it feels good just knowing someone understands. I saw by the date of your post that it was 12 sometime pm when you wrote this, but in my dreams last night I was seeing lots of pink. Sometimes it was like a misty clouds of pink and other times I saw sparkly shiny flakes like fairy dust raining down. I was seeing it in all my dream and is actually the only thing I remember of them except a feeling of peace and love. It's like I recieved it even before you wrote it here. I love those kind of connections. I am very grateful for your friendship, Sherri. It is a nice sunshiny day here after a week of rain and clouds. The sun feels good, too. Love & blessings Linda , kaliese wrote: > > Linda, > > I felt a great deal of compassion and love for you , to the point of tears, as I read your post. I will, if it is all right with you, offer you a soft, gentle cocoon of love where you can go in meditation and just rest for a bit. Think soft pink energy enclosing you and keeping everything else out for as long as you want to rest and become refreshed before you go back out into the world. Or use it in sleep if you wish. > > Perhaps you will never use it but be sort of strengthened and not feel alone as you deal with things. > > I have been where you are, may very well go there again, so know you have an energetic friend out here to rest with if you wish. > > I find it terrible to find myself alone after being soul connected with others as so very few understand..... > > In gratefulness, > > Sherri > > -- > The high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than rule- Albert Einstein > > -------------- Original message -------------- > " Linda " <crazycats711 > No! I do not want to leave the forum. I just let fear of losing > another forum home get a grip on me. It just means I have let > myself get very attached to you all, the way I was to the WB forum. > It got ripped away in a matter of hours. I grieved over it's loss for > a loooonnngggg time. I'm not so sure I am over the grieving yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2007 Report Share Posted July 22, 2007 Yes, that is true Dhyana, the Holy Spirirt is always there and will never leave. I am very grateful for that. Love, Linda , " novalees " <Novalees wrote: > > Sending you a hug, Linda. I'm really beginning to see how everything > that happens is needed to get us where we're to be. When your sail is > up you can trust the Wind, especially the Holy Wind, to carry you. > Even if the Net collapsed, you're still in good Hands. imho. =] Love, > dhyana > > > > , " Linda " > <crazycats711@> wrote: > > > > No! I do not want to leave the forum. I just let fear of losing > > another forum home get a grip on me. It just means I have let > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 23, 2007 Report Share Posted July 23, 2007 Lovely you felt it before I wrote it. I was visualizing (see it and then try to figure out how to write it)just what I wanted to say to you for some time before I wrote, so maybe you were seeing what I was seeing. Pretty fast transmission, lol. All one needs is intent. My favorite space is filled with pinkish and sort of salmon colored energy and has light gold specks (sort of like mica) floating in it. And I have often wrote ( I have a lot of poem type things about my experiences over the years....pretty interesting to look back on as I knew a lot more then than I knew I knew) about the absolute bliss of just standing and receiving this golden rain thing, full of info for me. Love to you, Sherri -- The high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than rule-Albert Einstein -------------- Original message -------------- " Linda " <crazycats711 Thank you Sherri, it feels good just knowing someone understands. I saw by the date of your post that it was 12 sometime pm when you wrote this, but in my dreams last night I was seeing lots of pink. Sometimes it was like a misty clouds of pink and other times I saw sparkly shiny flakes like fairy dust raining down. I was seeing it in all my dream and is actually the only thing I remember of them except a feeling of peace and love. It's like I recieved it even before you wrote it here. I love those kind of connections. I am very grateful for your friendship, Sherri. It is a nice sunshiny day here after a week of rain and clouds. The sun feels good, too. Love & blessings Linda , kaliese wrote: > > Linda, > > I felt a great deal of compassion and love for you , to the point of tears, as I read your post. I will, if it is all right with you, offer you a soft, gentle cocoon of love where you can go in meditation and just rest for a bit. Think soft pink energy enclosing you and keeping everything else out for as long as you want to rest and become refreshed before you go back out into the world. Or use it in sleep if you wish. > > Perhaps you will never use it but be sort of strengthened and not feel alone as you deal with things. > > I have been where you are, may very well go there again, so know you have an energetic friend out here to rest with if you wish. > > I find it terrible to find myself alone after being soul connected with others as so very few understand..... > > In gratefulness, > > Sherri > > -- > The high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than rule- Albert Einstein > > -------------- Original message -------------- > " Linda " <crazycats711 > No! I do not want to leave the forum. I just let fear of losing > another forum home get a grip on me. It just means I have let > myself get very attached to you all, the way I was to the WB forum. > It got ripped away in a matter of hours. I grieved over it's loss for > a loooonnngggg time. I'm not so sure I am over the grieving yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 23, 2007 Report Share Posted July 23, 2007 Thanks Sherri, that was great how that worked out. There seems to be a change in my dreaming..the tone, feel of them. Like something negative has been lifted away. I had good sweet dreams agian last night and almost became lucid in one of them. Your favorite space sounds lovely. Maybe I should add some pink and gold to mine. I like the ideal of the golden specks. In a dream I had once, I was walking down this dark stairway and I started to feel a little afraid and I turned and looked back up from where I came and the golden flakes rain down one me. Your's and Droxine's post has put an urge in me to do something creative, I just don't know what. Love & much thanks, Linda , kaliese wrote: > > Lovely you felt it before I wrote it. I was visualizing (see it and then try to figure out how to write it)just what I wanted to say to you for some time before I wrote, so maybe you were seeing what I was seeing. Pretty fast transmission, lol. All one needs is intent. > > My favorite space is filled with pinkish and sort of salmon colored energy and has light gold specks (sort of like mica) floating in it. And I have often wrote ( I have a lot of poem type things about my experiences over the years....pretty interesting to look back on as I knew a lot more then than I knew I knew) about the absolute bliss of just standing and receiving this golden rain thing, full of info for me. > > Love to you, > > Sherri > > -- > The high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than rule- Albert Einstein > > -------------- Original message -------------- > " Linda " <crazycats711 > Thank you Sherri, it feels good just knowing someone understands. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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