Guest guest Posted July 22, 2007 Report Share Posted July 22, 2007 Linda, I had it on my mind to write to you this morning, just to check in about Ed and Dub. I hope things are going okay. Then, I discovered your thread on morning meditation, so I guess I'll make this a post. Sounds like you had a bit of a fear attack, but that you may be mostly over it now. It occurred to me, that one of the things the K does is bring issues to the surface to be healed, and part of that process involves re- experiencing said emotional issues. It's obvious that you experienced a bunch of losses in a short period of time fairly recently, but you have also had issues of not being able to depend on a support network throughout your life. I'm talking of those troubled times when you were younger. These issues seem to have followed you: loss, and the feeling of vulnerability to sudden, unexpected loss (insecurity). Given your history, these feelings are only natural and understandable. Are they resurfacing to give an opportunity for healing? It is said that we will continue to be given such opportunities for healing (other losses) until the original wounds are healed and attendant emotions resolved. Might I suggest that the problem does not exist outside yourself in the form of a curse, bad luck or an ill-intentioned spirit, but that only through claiming responsibility and stewardship of your own life's path will you be in a position to heal those many old wounds and beliefs and move on to a new and different plateau? By " responsibility " I don't mean anything that has happened to you has been your " fault, " merely that it has been for you, designed by your higher self and even higher, guiding spirits with your growth and best interests in mind, however difficult to see that underlying design and motivation may be at present. If you can see past your prior hurt, feelings of vulnerability to loss and insecurity, if you can anchor your well-being not to perceived favourable life conditions and outside forces but to the inner you, complete and replete in itself and without need, then what awaits you is that sensation depicted in the dream image you found disturbing, which I thought exhilarating: that of flying in the biplane, cockpit exposed, able to soar to the heights and touch the sky. To underscore the feeling of lack of " protection, " the pilot's head extends beyond the level of the windscreen. Rather than minding, he is aloft both in body and spirit, laughing heartily at his circumstance, and not in the least afraid or insecure. He considers his situation not one of vulnerability, but of utter freedom, and he will do loop the loops with no consternation. This will be you, Linda, as soon as you claim it for yourself. You are being shown options: white knuckle survival or no hands living. The trust required for the latter will be in the universe to support your best destiny and in yourself for fulfilling divine will through your uniqueness and seeing the plan behind the pain. You must tell yourself " If I loose this, something better will come along " and know that you are being led now and hence forward where you need to go. The darker chapters of your life are over, I think. They are waving goodbye. When they lap up at your feet, acknowledge them, and then wave goodbye and take a step in a new direction. As you come to know yourself, you will be able to trust yourself more and more - to make correct decisions, to provide yourself with happiness and fulfilment, to see more goodness of life than what you've known to date. As this trust and self-friendship develops you will need less and less of " the world. " You will enjoy it more, but depend on it less. Hands open. Heart open, cockpit open, open sky. Holding onto nothing; holding everything. Having the last laugh. x, Droxine , " Linda " <crazycats711 wrote: > > Last night I spent the biggest portion of the evening reading Betsy's > website (Great site by the way, Betsy. Whenever I am able to have > some alone time agian I plan to do the mirror healing exercise). I am > ready for summer vacations to be over with. > > In my meditation this morning I kind of went off into thinking about > Betsy and all she has been through with her K. It lead to me thinking > about how demanding the K is to how gentle and wooing the Holy Spirit > is in comparison. The Holy Spirit wooes until you are able to come to > the place of surrender and once you surrender it gives you the power > to carry through. I have also been reading the book Stevef > recommended to me, Eckhart Tolle's " A New Earth " and it goes into > great depths about the ego and how it functions and controls. At > that point it (the ego) reminded me so much how demmanding K is that > I ending the thinking and went back to concentration on my breathing > and keeping my mind blank. That didn't last long, I fell into the > hynogogic state or a dream. My ability to stay in an aware state has > really gotton bad, I could not tell if it was a dream images or > hynogogic images. My ability to have an OBE or lucid dream is gone > with the wind. My dream life has changed, it'a all I can do to > remember little bits and pieces of dreams and there is little control. > > Anyway, I fell into some kind of state. The image of a monkey type > creature appeared and I got the impression it symbolized an ego. Then > there was another image of something I could not make out but the > symbol breathe in and sucked up the monkey and when it breathed out, > it breathed out three monkeys. Then imediately after, there was the > image of a large blonde man setting in an airplane (one of those old > kind of planes that do not have a top). This guy was way too big/tall > for the plane, his head was way up above the windshield. He was just > sitting there laughing his arse off, really big time. > > My feeling since has been one of uneasiness, unsettling. I can't get > it out of my mind. > > I can understand the monkey part I think, because last year when I > was focusing on becoming more aware of my egos, it seemed like when I > did recongnized/become aware of an ego, it would lose it's strength > or control, but it seemed like many more would pop up taking it's > place, like it became a never ending battle. I was seeing more and > more egos in myself and everyone around me, until all I was seeing > was egos. Everthing was an ego. LOL! I don't know why the symbol was > a monkey. i guess I need to look up what a monkey sybolizes. > > I have this really big ego thing. You see, every church I have every > joined has died. I am a church killer! Hehe! It appears that I may > be a forum killer as well. Several forums, I've become " connected " to > have pass over or have come close to it. Or is it that I just happen > to pick dying churches or dying forums to join. I hope this forum > isn't dying, but it sure feels like the life has been sucked out of > it here in the last few weeks or is it just everyone is one vacation > or something or other all of a sudden. > > Do I need to leave??? I left the last church before it completely > died and it has healed and has made a come back. I also left the last > forum I belonged to before coming here to these . It > seems to be doing a little better since I quit posting. Is all this > just a coincidence and they would have died whether I had become a > member or not? With these forums, it seems that once I joined, then > it comes under attack by various individuals who seem to join solely > for the purpose of causing disharmony. Like this forum has been > attacked by several people now, just in the short time I have been > here. Has it been attacked in the same way before this year? I have > read a lot of the older post and I have not seen where this has taken > place before this year. > > Do you know what it really seems like to me? It seems like I am being > followed by some evil entity that destroys every place where I find > spiritual nurishment and connection. How big an ego is that? > Hehehehe! I don't know if it is my imagination or if it is real? A > lot of stuff just doesn't make much sense to me. > > I have come to care for all of you here on this forum a lot. > Detachment from this group would be very totally painful for me. > Love you mucho grande, > Linda > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2007 Report Share Posted July 22, 2007 Wow! Droxine, you painted a wonderful picture with those words. I want that to be my reality. Thanks for that picture to focus onto. By what you wrote it seems you know me better than I know myself. You have made things so clear to me. Like Jen said somewhere recently, sometimes it hard to see the forest for the trees. Something like that. My brother will be getting to go home tomorrow maybe. They had to change his blood pressure medicene and are keeping him an extra day or so to make sure that will go OK. They are also deciding whether he needs a pacemaker. If they decide he needs one he will be staying another day. The hardest part for my brother is going to be when he gets home and has to sat there for a couple of months and do nothing much. He is used to going and doing, never has been one for setting around. With Dub, he is about the same, his kidneys are not functioning right and his liver, too, I think. They do not give him much longer to live. But who knows! You are a wonderful gift, Droxine. I am very grateful for your friendship and for thinking of me. I have been reading your forum everyday, but I've not had much time for posting. I have had my grandson here for 10 days straight while his parents are gone on vacation. My grandson and I have not had ours yet. I am going to be taking off with him here in another week or so, before schools starts. The summer is going so fast! Love & blessings, Linda , " droxine5 " <Droxine1 wrote: > > Linda, > > I had it on my mind to write to you this morning, just to check in > about Ed and Dub. I hope things are going okay. Then, I discovered > your thread on morning meditation, so I guess I'll make this a > post. Sounds like you had a bit of a fear attack, but that you may > be mostly over it now. > > It occurred to me, that one of the things the K does is bring issues > to the surface to be healed, and part of that process involves re- > experiencing said emotional issues. It's obvious that you > experienced a bunch of losses in a short period of time fairly > recently, but you have also had issues of not being able to depend on > a support network throughout your life. I'm talking of those > troubled times when you were younger. > > These issues seem to have followed you: loss, and the feeling of > vulnerability to sudden, unexpected loss (insecurity). Given your > history, these feelings are only natural and understandable. Are > they resurfacing to give an opportunity for healing? It is said that > we will continue to be given such opportunities for healing (other > losses) until the original wounds are healed and attendant emotions > resolved. > > Might I suggest that the problem does not exist outside yourself in > the form of a curse, bad luck or an ill-intentioned spirit, but that > only through claiming responsibility and stewardship of your own > life's path will you be in a position to heal those many old wounds > and beliefs and move on to a new and different plateau? > > By " responsibility " I don't mean anything that has happened to you > has been your " fault, " merely that it has been for you, designed by > your higher self and even higher, guiding spirits with your growth > and best interests in mind, however difficult to see that underlying > design and motivation may be at present. > > If you can see past your prior hurt, feelings of vulnerability to > loss and insecurity, if you can anchor your well-being not to > perceived favourable life conditions and outside forces but to the > inner you, complete and replete in itself and without need, then what > awaits you is that sensation depicted in the dream image you found > disturbing, which I thought exhilarating: that of flying in the > biplane, cockpit exposed, able to soar to the heights and touch the > sky. > > To underscore the feeling of lack of " protection, " the pilot's head > extends beyond the level of the windscreen. Rather than minding, he > is aloft both in body and spirit, laughing heartily at his > circumstance, and not in the least afraid or insecure. He considers > his situation not one of vulnerability, but of utter freedom, and he > will do loop the loops with no consternation. This will be you, > Linda, as soon as you claim it for yourself. > > You are being shown options: white knuckle survival or no hands > living. The trust required for the latter will be in the universe to > support your best destiny and in yourself for fulfilling divine will > through your uniqueness and seeing the plan behind the pain. You > must tell yourself " If I loose this, something better will come > along " and know that you are being led now and hence forward where > you need to go. > > The darker chapters of your life are over, I think. They are waving > goodbye. When they lap up at your feet, acknowledge them, and then > wave goodbye and take a step in a new direction. As you come to know > yourself, you will be able to trust yourself more and more - to make > correct decisions, to provide yourself with happiness and fulfilment, > to see more goodness of life than what you've known to date. As this > trust and self-friendship develops you will need less and less > of " the world. " You will enjoy it more, but depend on it less. > Hands open. Heart open, cockpit open, open sky. Holding onto > nothing; holding everything. Having the last laugh. > > x, > Droxine > , " Linda " > <crazycats711@> wrote: > > > > Last night I spent the biggest portion of the evening reading > Betsy's > > website (Great site by the way, Betsy. Whenever I am able to have > > some alone time agian I plan to do the mirror healing exercise). I > am > > ready for summer vacations to be over with. > > > > In my meditation this morning I kind of went off into thinking > about > > Betsy and all she has been through with her K. It lead to me > thinking > > about how demanding the K is to how gentle and wooing the Holy > Spirit > > is in comparison. The Holy Spirit wooes until you are able to come > to > > the place of surrender and once you surrender it gives you the > power > > to carry through. I have also been reading the book Stevef > > recommended to me, Eckhart Tolle's " A New Earth " and it goes into > > great depths about the ego and how it functions and controls. At > > that point it (the ego) reminded me so much how demmanding K is > that > > I ending the thinking and went back to concentration on my > breathing > > and keeping my mind blank. That didn't last long, I fell into > the > > hynogogic state or a dream. My ability to stay in an aware state > has > > really gotton bad, I could not tell if it was a dream images or > > hynogogic images. My ability to have an OBE or lucid dream is gone > > with the wind. My dream life has changed, it'a all I can do to > > remember little bits and pieces of dreams and there is little > control. > > > > Anyway, I fell into some kind of state. The image of a monkey type > > creature appeared and I got the impression it symbolized an ego. > Then > > there was another image of something I could not make out but the > > symbol breathe in and sucked up the monkey and when it breathed > out, > > it breathed out three monkeys. Then imediately after, there was the > > image of a large blonde man setting in an airplane (one of those > old > > kind of planes that do not have a top). This guy was way too > big/tall > > for the plane, his head was way up above the windshield. He was > just > > sitting there laughing his arse off, really big time. > > > > My feeling since has been one of uneasiness, unsettling. I can't > get > > it out of my mind. > > > > I can understand the monkey part I think, because last year when I > > was focusing on becoming more aware of my egos, it seemed like when > I > > did recongnized/become aware of an ego, it would lose it's strength > > or control, but it seemed like many more would pop up taking it's > > place, like it became a never ending battle. I was seeing more and > > more egos in myself and everyone around me, until all I was seeing > > was egos. Everthing was an ego. LOL! I don't know why the symbol > was > > a monkey. i guess I need to look up what a monkey sybolizes. > > > > I have this really big ego thing. You see, every church I have > every > > joined has died. I am a church killer! Hehe! It appears that I may > > be a forum killer as well. Several forums, I've become " connected " > to > > have pass over or have come close to it. Or is it that I just > happen > > to pick dying churches or dying forums to join. I hope this forum > > isn't dying, but it sure feels like the life has been sucked out of > > it here in the last few weeks or is it just everyone is one > vacation > > or something or other all of a sudden. > > > > Do I need to leave??? I left the last church before it completely > > died and it has healed and has made a come back. I also left the > last > > forum I belonged to before coming here to these . It > > seems to be doing a little better since I quit posting. Is all this > > just a coincidence and they would have died whether I had become a > > member or not? With these forums, it seems that once I joined, then > > it comes under attack by various individuals who seem to join > solely > > for the purpose of causing disharmony. Like this forum has been > > attacked by several people now, just in the short time I have been > > here. Has it been attacked in the same way before this year? I have > > read a lot of the older post and I have not seen where this has > taken > > place before this year. > > > > Do you know what it really seems like to me? It seems like I am > being > > followed by some evil entity that destroys every place where I find > > spiritual nurishment and connection. How big an ego is that? > > Hehehehe! I don't know if it is my imagination or if it is real? A > > lot of stuff just doesn't make much sense to me. > > > > I have come to care for all of you here on this forum a lot. > > Detachment from this group would be very totally painful for me. > > Love you mucho grande, > > Linda > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2007 Report Share Posted July 22, 2007 Everytime I see your name Droxine, I know I am about to read a novel. LOL. (and wonderful they are). blessings lisa ---- droxine5 <Droxine1 wrote: > Linda, > > I had it on my mind to write to you this morning, just to check in > about Ed and Dub. I hope things are going okay. Then, I discovered > your thread on morning meditation, so I guess I'll make this a > post. Sounds like you had a bit of a fear attack, but that you may > be mostly over it now. > > It occurred to me, that one of the things the K does is bring issues > to the surface to be healed, and part of that process involves re- > experiencing said emotional issues. It's obvious that you > experienced a bunch of losses in a short period of time fairly > recently, but you have also had issues of not being able to depend on > a support network throughout your life. I'm talking of those > troubled times when you were younger. > > These issues seem to have followed you: loss, and the feeling of > vulnerability to sudden, unexpected loss (insecurity). Given your > history, these feelings are only natural and understandable. Are > they resurfacing to give an opportunity for healing? It is said that > we will continue to be given such opportunities for healing (other > losses) until the original wounds are healed and attendant emotions > resolved. > > Might I suggest that the problem does not exist outside yourself in > the form of a curse, bad luck or an ill-intentioned spirit, but that > only through claiming responsibility and stewardship of your own > life's path will you be in a position to heal those many old wounds > and beliefs and move on to a new and different plateau? > > By " responsibility " I don't mean anything that has happened to you > has been your " fault, " merely that it has been for you, designed by > your higher self and even higher, guiding spirits with your growth > and best interests in mind, however difficult to see that underlying > design and motivation may be at present. > > If you can see past your prior hurt, feelings of vulnerability to > loss and insecurity, if you can anchor your well-being not to > perceived favourable life conditions and outside forces but to the > inner you, complete and replete in itself and without need, then what > awaits you is that sensation depicted in the dream image you found > disturbing, which I thought exhilarating: that of flying in the > biplane, cockpit exposed, able to soar to the heights and touch the > sky. > > To underscore the feeling of lack of " protection, " the pilot's head > extends beyond the level of the windscreen. Rather than minding, he > is aloft both in body and spirit, laughing heartily at his > circumstance, and not in the least afraid or insecure. He considers > his situation not one of vulnerability, but of utter freedom, and he > will do loop the loops with no consternation. This will be you, > Linda, as soon as you claim it for yourself. > > You are being shown options: white knuckle survival or no hands > living. The trust required for the latter will be in the universe to > support your best destiny and in yourself for fulfilling divine will > through your uniqueness and seeing the plan behind the pain. You > must tell yourself " If I loose this, something better will come > along " and know that you are being led now and hence forward where > you need to go. > > The darker chapters of your life are over, I think. They are waving > goodbye. When they lap up at your feet, acknowledge them, and then > wave goodbye and take a step in a new direction. As you come to know > yourself, you will be able to trust yourself more and more - to make > correct decisions, to provide yourself with happiness and fulfilment, > to see more goodness of life than what you've known to date. As this > trust and self-friendship develops you will need less and less > of " the world. " You will enjoy it more, but depend on it less. > Hands open. Heart open, cockpit open, open sky. Holding onto > nothing; holding everything. Having the last laugh. > > x, > Droxine > , " Linda " > <crazycats711 wrote: > > > > Last night I spent the biggest portion of the evening reading > Betsy's > > website (Great site by the way, Betsy. Whenever I am able to have > > some alone time agian I plan to do the mirror healing exercise). I > am > > ready for summer vacations to be over with. > > > > In my meditation this morning I kind of went off into thinking > about > > Betsy and all she has been through with her K. It lead to me > thinking > > about how demanding the K is to how gentle and wooing the Holy > Spirit > > is in comparison. The Holy Spirit wooes until you are able to come > to > > the place of surrender and once you surrender it gives you the > power > > to carry through. I have also been reading the book Stevef > > recommended to me, Eckhart Tolle's " A New Earth " and it goes into > > great depths about the ego and how it functions and controls. At > > that point it (the ego) reminded me so much how demmanding K is > that > > I ending the thinking and went back to concentration on my > breathing > > and keeping my mind blank. That didn't last long, I fell into > the > > hynogogic state or a dream. My ability to stay in an aware state > has > > really gotton bad, I could not tell if it was a dream images or > > hynogogic images. My ability to have an OBE or lucid dream is gone > > with the wind. My dream life has changed, it'a all I can do to > > remember little bits and pieces of dreams and there is little > control. > > > > Anyway, I fell into some kind of state. The image of a monkey type > > creature appeared and I got the impression it symbolized an ego. > Then > > there was another image of something I could not make out but the > > symbol breathe in and sucked up the monkey and when it breathed > out, > > it breathed out three monkeys. Then imediately after, there was the > > image of a large blonde man setting in an airplane (one of those > old > > kind of planes that do not have a top). This guy was way too > big/tall > > for the plane, his head was way up above the windshield. He was > just > > sitting there laughing his arse off, really big time. > > > > My feeling since has been one of uneasiness, unsettling. I can't > get > > it out of my mind. > > > > I can understand the monkey part I think, because last year when I > > was focusing on becoming more aware of my egos, it seemed like when > I > > did recongnized/become aware of an ego, it would lose it's strength > > or control, but it seemed like many more would pop up taking it's > > place, like it became a never ending battle. I was seeing more and > > more egos in myself and everyone around me, until all I was seeing > > was egos. Everthing was an ego. LOL! I don't know why the symbol > was > > a monkey. i guess I need to look up what a monkey sybolizes. > > > > I have this really big ego thing. You see, every church I have > every > > joined has died. I am a church killer! Hehe! It appears that I may > > be a forum killer as well. Several forums, I've become " connected " > to > > have pass over or have come close to it. Or is it that I just > happen > > to pick dying churches or dying forums to join. I hope this forum > > isn't dying, but it sure feels like the life has been sucked out of > > it here in the last few weeks or is it just everyone is one > vacation > > or something or other all of a sudden. > > > > Do I need to leave??? I left the last church before it completely > > died and it has healed and has made a come back. I also left the > last > > forum I belonged to before coming here to these . It > > seems to be doing a little better since I quit posting. Is all this > > just a coincidence and they would have died whether I had become a > > member or not? With these forums, it seems that once I joined, then > > it comes under attack by various individuals who seem to join > solely > > for the purpose of causing disharmony. Like this forum has been > > attacked by several people now, just in the short time I have been > > here. Has it been attacked in the same way before this year? I have > > read a lot of the older post and I have not seen where this has > taken > > place before this year. > > > > Do you know what it really seems like to me? It seems like I am > being > > followed by some evil entity that destroys every place where I find > > spiritual nurishment and connection. How big an ego is that? > > Hehehehe! I don't know if it is my imagination or if it is real? A > > lot of stuff just doesn't make much sense to me. > > > > I have come to care for all of you here on this forum a lot. > > Detachment from this group would be very totally painful for me. > > Love you mucho grande, > > Linda > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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