With all my Love I am sharing my Kundalini journey

[Guest guest]

I keep a journal, the entries below are what I experienced during my

activation, I shared it with and now, with love, I share it

with you.

 

 

June, July and early August 2007

 

I am continuing with my meditation on a twice per day basis. My

experience has been changing on a steady pace. The opening over my

head is continuous, this soft feeling in my ears are also intact, it

feels like someone is sticking a Q-tip in my ear, but it's very very

gentle. I never thought the opening of Chakras would bring me free

ear cleaning service. I began to feel this couple of days ago and I

don't know what to make of it but it is pleasant and so I am not in

worries.

 

I have recently been feeling this unbelievable pressure on my head

that I have never experienced before. I feel this immense tension

around my head as if a rubber band has been placed around it. At the

same time a very deep deep feeling of pressure between my brow

line....I was in meditation, aware of my surroundings my eyes were

lightly closed as this pressure continues on my brow line I get a

feeling as if I can see through something presently there, but I

don't know what it is that its there. I feel both side of my head

pressed, like I am wearing a very tight helmet, not a bike helmet for

this helmet comes down almost to my jaw line, it is weird. I don't

understand what it is, I am not intentionally doing this, I just feel

it. I have not heard of anyone meditating and experiencing this

pressure, is it normal? I have to ask somebody.

 

Two nights ago, during my evening meditation, I was just being....I

placed no expectation on outcomes, I was just being. I heard very

clearly on my right ear my name called out by a male voice. That

startled me and then my entire body was overcome by this incredible

surge of energy that left me vibrating. I felt cold, very very cold

and then the sound of like a train a very very loud train...with it's

final horn like noise as a climax, while this energy was traveling up

my body. Oh my God, what is happening to me?. My body felt as if it

was shaking, but it wasn't it was vibrating....my entire body was

vibrating. I felt like I was immersed in water and could not catch my

breath, I was gasping. I felt this powerful energy flowing upwards in

my back going up. My heart was pounding almost out of my chest. How

could it? I was doing a peaceful meditation, its supposed to slow the

heart rate not increase it to this proportion.

 

I felt like an entire ant colony had invaded the insides of my body,

they were all marching through out every portion of me. I could feel

it up my arms, legs, chest, organs, back, front,,,,,,Ah! these ants

are everywhere....I opened my eyes in disbelief, disoriented then I

looked at my hands and it was slightly shaking but the feeling

underneath was much more powerful than what my hand was showing me. I

was fearful yet I had this strange sense that everything was fine. I

never thought such feeling existed, I felt as if i had gone to

another dimension or plane took a look and came back in disbelief of

what I saw, but I don't know what I saw. I don't know what it was

and still don't know what it is. AAAAAHGGGG I want to know what it

is! Where is it coming from? Who the hell are you that's doing this

to me? Am I possessed?

 

Last night I went on for my evening meditation. I called upon the

Blessed Mother, Blessed Father and Holy Spirit to fill me with their

love, I also stated my love for them. And then it began....I heard

this ticking, loud ticking that I thought was coming from outside of

me. It was coming from within. It was almost like the sound of an

old church clock but faster in speed and lower in sound frequency.

It shocked me, again I felt fear. Am I being possessed? What's

happening to me? Why am I so scared? I need help, but I am not crazy.

 

I AM hearing these things and feeling that unbelievable powerful

energy up my back, sometimes it's like an explosion in my chest. I

see white light just glowing on my face, and the feeling like someone

is blowing gently on my face. The cool wind all over my body. I got

up and checked for opened windows and all were closed. I sat again

and the wind softly caressed me. I changed my breathing pattern to

take in this wind. I began to breath this wind, I could feel it's

coolness and purity going in my nostrils. The stronger the feeling on

top of my head and brow line the cooler the wind was, I was breathing

my own wind? Good thing it wasn't a fart, what am I saying? DAMN, I

must keep my sense of humor, I have to it's an ingrate part of my

personality, it's me. What if this is a joke? a joke from God? I

believe that God created us humans to live a wonderful life full of

love so I don't think He takes much offense that I am laughing all the

time, that I don't take life serious. Ben is always saying that I am

" too happy go lucky " , that I should take life much more serious, but

why? I like my attitude! I think God has a sense of humor too or

else he would not created such an idea. I take it back God, you are

not joking....this is too intense for a joke.

 

The high pitched noises is till in my head, it is not in my ears, its

in my head, on top of my head to be more precise. I continue hearing

the humming and now I have low frequency clock like sounds. Am I

going crazy? Am I tapping unto some psychosis I was never aware of?

I don't want to stop meditating, it feels good. Has all " hell "

broke loose? But WHY?

 

 

Old beliefs of haunting entities, the devil, being possessed

....being punished, being felt guilty for not adhering to the

truth.....whoever's " every " truth is. I don't know what to think.

I was always told NOT to question the truth. All those nuns, all

those hours at church reciting mass in Latin....for what? what the

hell is the truth? Who owns the truth, why am I to believe a truth

when I don't know if its true. Why am I feeling like what I thought

was reality its not.

 

I want to cry, I want to sob, I want to scream, I want someone who

understand what I am going through to hold me and tell me that I am

not going insane. Ben doesn't understand, he tends to make fun of my

situation. I feel so alone and scare, am I going crazy at my old age?

I feel a sense of clarity a sense of peace but at the same time a

terrible feeling of fright. My entire existence has been turned

outside down, I don't feel the Becky of yesterdays, I feel changed,

but why? Who the hell am I? What am I doing here?

 

At times when the things I experience are very astounding I feel

this fear of going to bed for just before then, I sit and meditate.

I feel nervous, what will happen if I just gave in? will I go crazy,

insane. Will it get any worst? If I go to the chaplain he might think

I going crazy? Possessed? same goes for the doctors. I am scare.

 

 

I had the most amazing, frightening experience I have ever had in my

life, I feel like there's gotta be something to this, this is NOT

normal. I told Kathy and she said is the Holy Spirit, descending

upon me. But I don't feel anything descending....this energy goes

upward. Is the Holy Spirit ascending from the bottom of the Earth?

Isn't Hell below? Oh my God! Here comes that stupid Catholic fear of

the dumb ass Devil....I don't believe in you, I don't believe in you,

I don't believe in you, and that is that! Go away NOW! I think its

more like a flock of Angels are just lifting me from under, that's why

the energy is upwards, I don't feel being squished down by the " Holy

Spirit " I feel lifted, exalted. So there goes Kathy's theory. Next?

 

I went onto my normal meditation routine. I began to feel the

chakkras opening, my brow line was particularly strong. I then began

to feel my body immersed in wonderful energy, then the roaring sounds

in my right ear began it was very profound. I began to mentally say

" louder, stronger, louder, stronger " , hey what the hell, maybe who

ever is behind this will start to talk in English. Next second I was

feeling the most unbelievable surge of an extremely powerful energy,

my body entirely vibrating and the sound changed from a roar to a loud

LOUD hum almost like Om. Almost like the sound of the lowest note on

an organ. I thought I was going to have a heart attack (could that be

possible?) again I was vibrating. I felt this for a long long while,

perhaps 15 seconds, long enough for me. I opened my eyes, I was

scare, in disbelief, shaking, confused, disoriented, and cold very

very cold. This continued to the point I became even more

frightened and told it to calm and stop. It ceased almost

immediately to a calm roar. Before I ended I said " thank you " I don't

know why, and to whom.

 

What its happening to me? I felt pressure on the " tail bone " on my

spine. Should I not ask it for louder and stronger? and to whom am I

asking? I was left with an incredible headache. Okay God, I am done

with the joke! I'll be good, I swear I will, I won't buy any more

shoes...what the hell am I saying? I am delirious, I am going mad.

 

After this experience I felt an overjoyed feeling and a peaceful calm.

I like that part, but I don't know what to make of the rest. I don't

feel an entity taking over me, but I feel the presence of something

DUH, of course I feel the presence of something maybe someone? I need

to talk to someone, a human, but who? Oh my God, what if Ben puts me

in a mental ward, he looks at me funny when I tell him what I am going

through. He meditates but has never felt anything remotely like this.

He says he just feels relaxed and calm by meditating. He feels

relaxed and me on the other hand I feel like I am taking a ride on a

fast train, no I am actually not taking the ride the actual train

tracks are inside of me, sound effects included.

 

I went on line looking for answers, I have spent most of the last few

days browsing, using different words to describe what I am going

through to see if anything comes up, I almost gave up until a word

called Kundalini popped up.

 

When I first read it I laughed because it sounds like cunnilingus ha

ha ha. It talks about this powerful force that goes up the spine. I

never knew it existed. Could this be what's happening to me? I kept

reading so many bad things about it, people going crazy, feeling

tremendous pain, and I also read death too. I don't want to die, I

don't want my body invaded with pain. NO! I refuse to give into

these thoughts, the intense energy I feel has brought me no ill

discomfort, no pain, no side effects, well yes I do have a BIG side

effect....I feel peaceful almost a realization of something that my

subconscious mind was expecting and knew it was coming but my

conscious one didn't, I feel in denial. It's almost like being found

but not knowing by whom. How can I explain this to anyone?

 

I have sent a message to a group called Kundaliniheat and Kundalini

Awakening System. I might be wrong but I need to find some answers, I

don't want to be alone on this, this is big, real big. I don't want

to be put on medications, I want answers, I want to know what's

happening to me, it can't be bad, I have this hidden inner sense of

serenity, but why?

 

What's interesting is that I am feeling the top of my head like

someone or something is gently raising my hair up, and like a " nervous

tick " on my tail bone. The other day the tail bone was pulsing. The

sounds I've been hearing are incredible, now I hear bells, flute,

gentle roar, a ticking, buzzing. Sometimes I get the feeling like

someone is in front of me, I am feeling anxious.

 

I was sitting out on the back patio and I looked at the bushes and I

saw particles of something coming down, like rain. There is not a

cloud on the sky but I see this rain like thing coming down. I went

inside, came back out and it was still there. I asked Ben if he could

see it and he said it's all in my head, don't pay attention to it. I

think he thinks I really am losing it. I hope the folks at these web

sites answer me, it's a start and I am feeling pretty desperate.

 

It's pouring rain! I think what I saw yesterday was rain coming. Oh

my God! I predicted the weather? I had no idea it was going to rain.

Maybe I am reading to much Seth.

 

I feel like a broken record but I do need to record all this or else I

might forget all these details, this is so incredible. I feel like

someone or something is pulling my hair, the top of my head. It's

unconfortable at times, I am just going along with it. Sometimes I

have the impression that " The 3rd Eye " wants to come right out of my

forhead. I wonder if its brown like my other two...hmmmmm.

 

I had a sudden memory of a past experience it was weird, I had

completely forgotten it. I remember I was about 7 years old I told

Mother that I was hearing noises in my head, it was like ringing and

chirping and I was getting scared. The wonderful brain washing the

Catholic Church was offering me also gave me the great gift of fear.

I didn't want to bring it up to any of the sisters at the convent, I

had heard of people being called possessed by the Devil and all the

strange things that would manifest to them as proof of it's existence.

No confessions to no priest.

 

I remember I could look at a tree and look at another empty space and

see it's outline like it's aura but not around the tree itself but

farther from the tree against the blue sky background. Mother

believed I had an active imagination. But I am remembering it now,

how I did clearly see the entire tree outlined in a white aura like

form next to it but not touching. It was almost like stamping a copy

of the tree in another place and it being there.

 

The ringing and chirping of my youth was profound, Mother said not to

pay attention to it and so after many years of ignoring it now it's

back full force. It's amazing how this thing is bringing back

memories I have thought I had forgotten. But what does it mean? Why

all these things happening to me? Why me? What the hell did I do? I

swear I didn't touch the cookie jar! You know me well God! I am a

good person, I love everyone, hate doesn't exist in me, I love doing

things for others it brings me great joy.....why such volatile

experiences, so much inner tumult? Why everyone so far told me not to

pay attention to it, to move on and it'll go away. I think this thing

is here for a while, it seems stubborn I don't think this is transient

and I am scare, I am scare because it's not normal so am I abnormal?

Oh my God, I can't contain my anguish. I feel like running but its

following me, no it can't follow me because this thing is within me so

there's no place to run, no place to hide.

[Guest guest]

Thank you Becky for sharing this. It is a classic account of what a

Kundalini activation is like. May we/I have permission to post this on

other sites such as the website if Glen agtrees and I would also like

to post it for the MySpace groups. -

[Guest guest]

Dearest -

If you believe that my experience will help anyone I give you my permission, I'm

very glad I recorded my experience. It's funny, yesterday I had this intense

urge to send it to you....I couldn't wait for your answer, hence the " what the

hell..... "

 

I'm hoping the accounts of all my fears, stated in my journal, does not make

anyone fearful. Are you going to add a footnote of any type? What is the

MySpace name so I can visit it.

 

Much Love to you, Chrism

 

Becky

 

chrism <> wrote: Thank you

Becky for sharing this. It is a classic account of what a

Kundalini activation is like. May we/I have permission to post this on

other sites such as the website if Glen agtrees and I would also like

to post it for the MySpace groups. -

 

 

 

 

 

 

Becky

 

 

 

Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship answers from someone who knows.

Answers - Check it out.

 

 

[Guest guest]

myspace.com/kundalini_teacher

or the group:

Kundalini Awakening Systems 1 at My Space

 

Thank you Becky -

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much for sharing Becky! Bless you and I am so glad that

you found us. (although I doubt it was by accident)

 

Sarita

 

, " Rebecca Jean

Rich " <beckyjeanrich wrote:

>

> I keep a journal, the entries below are what I experienced during my

> activation, I shared it with and now, with love, I share it

> with you.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Becky, your experiences are amazing and wonderful. Thanks so much for

sharing and I'm so glad you found your way to us.

 

bradly

[Guest guest]

Thank you Becky for sharing your experience. That was so very

interesting. I especially like the part where you saw the rain coming a

day ahead of time. And Oh yeah, the " What to hell part " . Hehe!

Blessings,

Linda

 

 

, " Sarita "

<sarita1969 wrote:

>

> Thank you so much for sharing Becky! Bless you and I am so glad that

> you found us. (although I doubt it was by accident)

>

> Sarita

>

> , " Rebecca Jean

> Rich " <beckyjeanrich@> wrote:

> >

> > I keep a journal, the entries below are what I experienced during my

> > activation, I shared it with and now, with love, I share it

> > with you.

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for posting this Becky. I've read enough about K awakenings to

recognize the symptoms, but it's still nice for us non-activated types

to read. Many blessings to you and the group...

 

Paul

 

 

, " Rebecca Jean

Rich " <beckyjeanrich wrote:

>

> I keep a journal, the entries below are what I experienced during my

> activation, I shared it with and now, with love, I share it

> with you.

>

>