Update on my Shaktipat Week.-Linda

[Guest guest]

Dearest Linda,

 

I'm sorry that your Shaktipat was less than wonderful because of lack of

support from your husband. My heart goes out to you. As suggested, I am

praying for you and other members whose spouses are not on board with their

spiritual pursuits. I hope that things will get better in time...

 

Here's a kiss for you: and a hug: >>>HUG<<<

 

Love,

Claudia

 

Linda <crazycats711 wrote:

I was so excited about this Shaktipat...the first one the fear of the

unknown was there in the background and stifled things a bit, plus I

had some problems saying the Shakti prayer. I felt ready for this one

and thought I would be having lots of time to myself to devote to it

since my huggy was back working. I ended up having only 2 days to

myself plus this evening. I am making the most of it too... setting

here stark naked... Hehe! Feeling the warmt again.

 

I was really wanting to fast all week, but ended it because of my

hubby being home. I could tell intuitively it was bothering him, just

like I knew the first day that he was effected by the energy that

morning. I knew he was experiencing it the same as me and I became

concerned about that and tried to stay away from him as much as

possible. I think I began supressing it at that point and was feeling

less energy on Wednesday and felt very sad...on the verge of tears

all day, and I suppressed the tears too because of hubby being home.

 

Thursday morning I woke up in a fetal position from a dream I don't

remember but I was feeling lost and alone. I laid there thinking and

praying, and I had the vision again of the many triangle pieces

haphardly meshed together not forming a harmonious pattern, but a

pattern of anxiety and chaos and I felt very nauseated and stayed

that way for most of next two day. I was also not able to focus very

well especially yesterday. I tried to read here on the forum but what

I read would not register in my brain.

 

Back to the vision: Laying there feeling very out of sorts, it

reminded me of my first OBE where I heard the shattering glass and

thought my house was being broken into. (I could look at that OBE as

the instant that I began this path I'm on.) As I continued lying

there feeling like this shattered pattern, it began to move and

change and it morphed into this most beautiful mandala, radiating a

bright white light from it's center. It gave me hope and assurance.

The weird thing is the whole time I was feeling like shattered

glass, I also was still experiencing peace and calm in the

background.

 

I have learned much from this week and even progressed somewhat I

think. Even though I don't outwardly hide from my hubby what I am

doing and involved with, I do surpress certain active personal

portions of it. This all stems from the night I recieved baptism of

fire by the Holy Spirit. The moment I walked in the door that night

without saying a word, he knew and got so angry with me. He being an

atheist, felt it was the ruination of our relationship. And even

though it happened some days later, that was the real reason he put

the gun to my head that night.

 

I can more fully understand Chrism's statement that the spouse needs

to be informed. I don't know how to go about it though. Anything that

has to do with spirituality is religious to him and he does not have

much tolerance. Divorcing him is no option for me, mainly because the

bible states that when one finds themself unequally yoked that you

are to stay in that relationship as long as the spouse chooses to

stay. As long as they stay, there is always the hope of winning them

over. He doesn't want to leave me, nor does he want to end it, even

though it may be for selfish reasons.

 

I don't know what to do except to continue praying and loving him

unconditionally. I know I can't continue supressing my spirituality

to kept him comfortable. I just don't know how to go about that

without having my life threatened. I am not afraid to die, I just

don't want to yet.

 

Ever since going through my 6 months of hell, he knows I am not

afraid of him any longer and I do not allow his trying to control me

any longer either, even though he has made attempts to a few times

since. One day during that 6 month period, I wrote a little poem or

an attempt at it. Hehe. I am not a poet for sure, but I thought I

would share anyways.

 

My heart bleeds

The pain is real

My hope is knowing

Suffering...

ends.

 

Also, Chrism, these three last days, the eggs sensation is still

there in my spine, but it does not seem expanded and sending out

warmed and tinglies like during the first part of the week, but feels

very condensed now. It moves up and down my back. When it is near the

solar plexus that is when I feel most of the nausea, when it moves up

to the heart level that is when I feel the urges to cry, when it

moved up to the base of my neck that is when I could not seem to

focus. Is it being in a condensed form, the cause these things

because of my surpressing? I feel like I have failed, but I have

learned a lot from this. Tonight as I write this, it seems to be

expanding back out and I feel much better.

 

I was also given a way to say the Shakti prayer that feels so right

for me. I replaced " to the goddess I go " with " to the all and all I

go " . That is the only thing I could find that would flows and

represents the true God source.

 

I am very much grateful to all of you and thankful that I feel safe

to express myself here, whether it is read or not.

 

Mucho love to all,

Linda

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

Thanks you Claudia, for your prayer and suppost. I am not the best at

communicating. I didn't mean to come off sounding so negative. To me

this Shaktipat was a lot more successful that the last one. What

happened, happened because of me not surrendering all to Shakti, even

my hubbys feelings of discomfort. I should have continued with my

commitment and let God deal with hubbys feelings.

 

To be honest I was the one trying to control, had expectation going

into it. LOL! I didn't stay in the NOW, but allowed my now to be

influence by some long ago event. I did just about everything wrong

going by the articles Dhyana posted on surrender. Then I made an even

bigger mess by posting about it. I have a really goofed up throat

chakra. Sorry if I have made any of you uncomfrotable by posting

that. I seem to never know what is the right thing to say. I am truly

sorry.

 

Love you all,

Linda

 

 

, Claudia

Lambright <newtfoodbowl wrote:

>

> Dearest Linda,

>

> I'm sorry that your Shaktipat was less than wonderful because of

lack of support from your husband. My heart goes out to you. As

Chrism suggested, I am praying for you and other members whose

spouses are not on board with their spiritual pursuits. I hope that

things will get better in time...

>

> Here's a kiss for you: and a hug: >>>HUG<<<

>

> Love,

> Claudia

>

> Linda <crazycats711 wrote:

> I was so excited about this Shaktipat...the first one the

fear of the

> unknown was there in the background and stifled things a bit, plus

I

> had some problems saying the Shakti prayer. I felt ready for this

one

> and thought I would be having lots of time to myself to devote to

it

[Guest guest]

Linda, no apologies are necessary! You did not make me uncomfortable at all!

You communicate excellently; perhaps I am the one not communicating well if I

have given you the impression that I am uncomfortable, LOL. I'm happy to see

that you learned something from the experience...and don't ever hesitate to post

your feelings about what is happening in your life. We are your K family.

 

Blessings,

Claudia

 

Linda <crazycats711 wrote:

Thanks you Claudia, for your prayer and suppost. I am not the best at

communicating. I didn't mean to come off sounding so negative. To me

this Shaktipat was a lot more successful that the last one. What

happened, happened because of me not surrendering all to Shakti, even

my hubbys feelings of discomfort. I should have continued with my

commitment and let God deal with hubbys feelings.

 

To be honest I was the one trying to control, had expectation going

into it. LOL! I didn't stay in the NOW, but allowed my now to be

influence by some long ago event. I did just about everything wrong

going by the articles Dhyana posted on surrender. Then I made an even

bigger mess by posting about it. I have a really goofed up throat

chakra. Sorry if I have made any of you uncomfrotable by posting

that. I seem to never know what is the right thing to say. I am truly

sorry.

 

Love you all,

Linda

 

, Claudia

Lambright <newtfoodbowl wrote:

>

> Dearest Linda,

>

> I'm sorry that your Shaktipat was less than wonderful because of

lack of support from your husband. My heart goes out to you. As

Chrism suggested, I am praying for you and other members whose

spouses are not on board with their spiritual pursuits. I hope that

things will get better in time...

>

> Here's a kiss for you: and a hug: >>>HUG<<<

>

> Love,

> Claudia

>

> Linda <crazycats711 wrote:

> I was so excited about this Shaktipat...the first one the

fear of the

> unknown was there in the background and stifled things a bit, plus

I

> had some problems saying the Shakti prayer. I felt ready for this

one

> and thought I would be having lots of time to myself to devote to

it

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

No worries dear friend. It is an issue that we can all hear and

relate to either from the experience of it or from a similar

situation. I can tell you right now that you are not the only one in

this group with severe spousal issues!

 

Sometimes it can be so difficult that a separation can and needs

occur due to the lessons being twisted and impeded by strong ego

responses from one or both sides. Some distance can be required for

balance and clarity.

 

Not saying this is your situation. That is for you to determine.

Just saying that God is in full understanding of you and your

options and that it is no accident that you are coming into a higher

expression of spiritual and physical existence. Your choices are

many and love is with you every step of the way.

 

My experience with the divine has shown me that the choices we make

are only constricted by the mind of the person making them. The ego.

The need to be accepted by our peers or friends and family,

sometimes no matter what, can have a difficult consequence at times

and sometimes we need to go against what the expectations for us are

by our circle of family and friends in order to pave the way for

future goodness in our life expression and those of our loved ones.

Change is sometimes called for.

 

We are allowed to make choices that free us or impede us and it is

up to us to determine how we may best open the pathways towards the

Christ with in. Allowing that expression to flow free of

obstruction. It is never too late to change course or initiate a

correction.

 

You are the Temple. No one bars the door without your permission. -

blessings and freedom for you dear friend - chrism

[Guest guest]

We are a family here, you should post whatever concerns that you

have. Very often talking things out helps us see things that were

hidden and the insights of others can often point out somnething you

missed entirely. Big hug!

 

Sarita

 

, " Linda "

<crazycats711 wrote:

> Then I made an even

> bigger mess by posting about it. I have a really goofed up throat

> chakra. Sorry if I have made any of you uncomfrotable by posting

> that. I seem to never know what is the right thing to say. I am

truly

> sorry.

>

> Love you all,

> Linda

[Guest guest]

Good grievy, there I go agian. Sorry, Claudia, I was not implying it

was you. You know sometimes I think I read more into what someone is

saying than what is really meant. Probably not any of you, but my on

self that was feeling uncomfortable. Could have been the same with my

hubby, just reading more into what was said.

 

This week was not the first time I have experienced the non-ability to

focus. It has happened several times in the past, Maybe my mind way of

handling overwhelm.

 

Love, Linda

 

, Claudia Lambright

<newtfoodbowl wrote:

>

> Linda, no apologies are necessary! You did not make me uncomfortable

at all! You communicate excellently; perhaps I am the one not

communicating well if I have given you the impression that I am

uncomfortable, LOL. I'm happy to see that you learned something from

the experience...and don't ever hesitate to post your feelings about

what is happening in your life. We are your K family.

>

> Blessings,

> Claudia

>

> Linda <crazycats711 wrote:

> Thanks you Claudia, for your prayer and suppost. I am not

the best at

> communicating. I didn't mean to come off sounding so negative. To me

[Guest guest]

Yes, that is true, Sarita. Thanks.

 

Love,

Linda

 

 

, " Sarita "

<sarita1969 wrote:

>

> We are a family here, you should post whatever concerns that you

> have. Very often talking things out helps us see things that were

> hidden and the insights of others can often point out somnething

you

> missed entirely. Big hug!

>

> Sarita

>

> , " Linda "

> <crazycats711@> wrote:

> > Then I made an even

> > bigger mess by posting about it. I have a really goofed up throat

> > chakra. Sorry if I have made any of you uncomfrotable by posting

> > that. I seem to never know what is the right thing to say. I am

> truly

> > sorry.

> >

> > Love you all,

> > Linda

>