My Declaration of Surrender - Anne

[Guest guest]

October 1, 2007

 

Dear & Group,

 

Where do I begin? I know after you read what I have to say, you're all

going to hate me. But I have been working on surrendering it, but

still I feel trapped. I am beginning to hate myself for this. I want

to give up myself now. Give myself up to Shakti. I'm a real bad

person. I hate myself right now. I'm so ashamed of myself.

 

I hate myself because I am very shallow. I don't know when I started

to become this way. I just know that ever since I was in my late

teens, everything my friends or what other people think or say

mattered to me. Maybe it's my upbringing since my family are very

judgmental. Maybe I did not realize it or was not aware I am becoming

like them in a way.

 

When it comes to dating, my family and friends always have a say to

the person I am attracted to or whoever is courting me. Looks and

professional status always mattered. My girl friends are very

judgmental. If they see that the guy isn't good looking enough, tall

enough or if one has a lousy job or uneducated, they look down on the

guys. They tell me, you can do better than that. It's always important

for my family that the guy should be well-educated, has a decent

family background, a decent professional job etc. Back home in the

Philippines, the younger generations are all about brand names stuff.

Brand names this, brand names that. When a foreigner or someone with

high status visits or walks inside a shopping mall, sales people are

very nice and treat them with special attention and service. I

remember when I walked inside a mall looking my best, they treat me

really well and everyone are very nice. All the sales people are

rushing my way to be of service to me. But once, I walked into my

favorite boutique looking not that great, some sales people gave me a

look like " Can you afford to buy these? " I was also insulted when this

same sales person had the nerve to show me the price tag of this item.

I was visiting back home – this happened about 4 years ago.

 

I have this problem that when my friends do not think that a guy who

is interested in me is not good looking enough or tall enough etc, he

cannot pass or be accepted. They tell me what they think and even

though it hurt my feelings, I just swallow it up and the more I think

about it, the more I don't want to be with that guy anymore. I would

start to think about crazy things such as, what would my kids look

like if I end up marrying this guy. My relatives both on my mom and

dad's side – well especially my mom's side – they are all very rich.

Some of my cousins are actually snobby. I remember, my aunts always

reminded me to behave a certain way or else it would be shameful in

the eyes of our relatives. If one of my cousins did not finish college

or earn a degree, they feel sorry and look down on you. If one of my

cousins ends up marrying one of the house workers, they really treat

and look at them differently. They don't trust that person to go

inside a certain room in the house for fear that they would steal etc.

But if one has earned a degree and has a nice decent professional job,

then that person is welcome to eat with at the dining table.

 

Well, my dad is a herbalist and my mom helps him sell his products.

There are a lot of vendors who orders from us. While I was visiting in

2003, my mom had lent me her cell phone. I stayed there for 3 months.

I was healing from a broken heart from a 5 yr relationship. Anyway,

sometimes I would receive text messages from these vendors since it is

my mom's phone. I just relay the messages to my mom. Well, I was

befriended by one of my mom's customers. I've never spoken to or seen

this person. I just know that he has a lot of ailments. We were in

touch until I flew back to Chicago. A month later, a dear aunt of mine

became very ill. She was hospitalized with Pneumonia/Liver Cirrhosis

(she does not smoke). She was on ventilator. My aunt whom I live with

(mom's sister) and my cousin flew back home to be with her as she

wasn't going to live that long. I had to wait for my uncle (aunt's

husband) to get us a ticket from his work (United Airlines) to follow

them. While waiting (since there is usually a waiting list), I got a

hold of this man back home. I knew he's a Christian too. I knew about

the laying on of hands to heal the sick. I asked him if he could go to

the hospital where my aunt is staying to lay hands on her. But he

could not make it. None of my Christian friends could make it. I was

getting frustrated waiting for my uncle to find a seat to fly back

home. Then, we received a phone call that my aunt is dying and just

waiting for me to arrive before they would disconnect her from the

ventilator. I was so crushed. First, I was crushed from a recent break

up, then crushed again or shattered because of my aunt's death.

Frustrated and disappointed at the thought that none of my Christian

friends could go there to help her. I felt helpless because I was a

million miles away. I was so upset because I didn't have a chance to

see her one last time to say goodbye and tell her I'm sorry for being

such a brat and disobedient niece. I wanted to say sorry for talking

back to her every time she compared me with everyone's children who

were better than I am because they think they are successful, have a

lot of money, etc.... whatever else they can think of to compare me

with other people who are better or up there. I was upset that I was

not able to say I'm sorry for being stubborn and most of all to tell

her that I love her. She's one of my aunts who raised me. She was very

strict. None of them accepts my conversion to Christianity. I think if

they know what I am practicing now, they all would do everything in

their power to put me in a convent to convert back to being a

Catholic. Most of my relatives especially on my mom's side, I have a

lot of aunts and uncles who are priests and nuns.

Anyway, when I arrived to the Philippines, it was too late. It was the

day of her wake. I was so upset that I did not make it. I could not

save her.

 

Meanwhile, this man (mom's customer) kept calling our house and my

cousins were teasing me that I have a new boyfriend. It was really

annoying because I don't even know who that person was. The more he

called, the more it really irritated me. My cousins would not stop

teasing me. I wanted to tell this man to stop harassing me. I was also

upset that none of my friends nor he could help to save my aunt.

 

At the cemetery, that man came but we were already leaving. I was with

my cousins (mom's side) – snobby side. When my cousin saw the man,

well, she gave him a disgusting look. Of course, he does not fit in.

So she gave him this look. I really felt ashamed. I also felt bad and

embarrassed to be seen or to let my cousin know that I know him

through the phone, but that was the first time I had seen him face to

face. He gave me a letter, but I tore it apart when we drove off. I

felt ashamed and bad. I was worried about what my cousins would think.

I wanted to disappear. But my guilty conscience would not leave me as

we were having a family meal right after the funeral. I felt bad that

this old man who has some ailments had to travel far just to go to my

aunt's funeral to meet me and give me that letter – he said sorry he

could not go to the hospital to help my aunt. I really felt terrible.

I told my mom about it, but she just told me to forget all about it. I

still feel terrible and ashamed when I remember it.

 

I still have that problem until now. I caught myself being shallow

again with this guy I just met – the one I mentioned who seems really

nice. He is really nice – almost too good to be true nice. Ughh!! What

is wrong with me?? I need help. Why do I compare him with my ex who is

6 feet tall? He is not bad looking. My friends actually thinks he is

good looking and he is a real nice guy. He is everything my ex is not.

He has a lot of pluses and maybe just 2 minuses. Why do I hold on to

someone who doesn't pay attention to me over someone who does? I don't

know what I'm going to do with myself. I really don't like myself – my

shallow self. My shallow self reminds me of my family. Actually I am

not tall. I'm only 5'2. This guy is 5'9, but why do I think he is

short? When I wear heels, we're almost the same height. I guess my

shallow self expects someone taller??!! Ughh. I am writing this

declaration to surrender myself to Shakti. I don't want to have

anything to do with my shallow self anymore. Please take her away from

me. She is a really mean and bad person. I don't like this side of me.

I'm really ashamed of everything. I want to hide in a cave right now.

 

Sorry, this has gotten so long. I just needed to vent it all out and

surrender. Thanks for reading.

 

Anne =(

[Guest guest]

Hello Anne,

These issues will pass - no worries dear Anne. You are a

fine person and when you are able to trust your own intuitive feelings

and forget about status or other persons opinions, some of this stress

will release from you. - take care and keep up your practice. -

 

[Guest guest]

Anne,

 

You are a Goddess waiting for a God to be your partner and mate.

However, the form of the God you wait for can only be recognized by

your highest self not your friends or societies' dictates. You know this.

 

Your impatience with parts of yourself is only further evidence of

your growing awareness. Don't expect your entire consciousness to

become aware at the same rate. Just let the consciousness you choose

be the leader. It is not always easy as you are finding out. Many

times being the leader of all the conflicting consciousnesses in our

being is like herding cats.

 

BlessU

Sam

 

 

 

 

, " Anne "

<annicole72 wrote:

>

> October 1, 2007

>

> Dear & Group,

>

> Where do I begin? I know after you read what I have to say, you're all

> going to hate me. But I have been working on surrendering it, but

> still I feel trapped. I am beginning to hate myself for this. I want

> to give up myself now. Give myself up to Shakti. I'm a real bad

> person. I hate myself right now. I'm so ashamed of myself.

[Guest guest]

Anne, I know this is difficult for you. Realizations about ourselves

and making changes is ot easy, but it is very rewarding. None of us

is perfect and we all have thoughts or feelings that we are ashamed

of at times.

 

You are a terrific person! This all might be coming up to remind you

that YOU should decide for yourself what you think of others rather

than allowing others' opinions to change yours. You might not always

hold the popular opinion, but at least it will be your own and others

will respect you for it in the end.

 

These kinds of experiences are often a precursor to big changes.

Rather than looking at this as a bad thing, I would now feel hopeful.

 

Chin up! Big hug!

 

PS - If you were shallow, you wouldn't know it - or care!

 

Sarita

 

, " Anne "

<annicole72 wrote:

>

> October 1, 2007

>

> Dear & Group,

>

> Where do I begin? I know after you read what I have to say, you're

all

> going to hate me. But I have been working on surrendering it, but

> still I feel trapped. I am beginning to hate myself for this. I want

> to give up myself now. Give myself up to Shakti. I'm a real bad

> person. I hate myself right now. I'm so ashamed of myself.

[Guest guest]

Dearest Anne,

 

It took a lot of braveness for you to write this to us. It is good that you

can feel so welcome here to be able to share the way that you have. I am very

proud of you.

 

First of all, I would like to say that there is no hate at all towards you.

You are such a wonderful person! Please remember that you are a light, just like

every other living thing in this Universe. We are all connected.

 

You know what the good part is? You are looking into yourself, and at

yourself, and seeing the things that you would like to change for the better.

This is a MAGNIFICENT step!

 

Forgive yourself for the things that you have done and thought in the past.

Right now, in this very moment, you can begin to change everything. It is ok if

you falter. Just get up, dust yourself off, and move forward to begin again.

This is all part of the process.

 

As for this new man in your life. Begin here. See him for who he really is. He

is you, you are him. See the Light in him. For he is Light, just as you are, my

friend. It makes no matter how tall or short one is, or what that person wears.

If his spirit resonates with your spirit, then love him for who he is. We are

all spiritual beings within physical bodies.

 

Love to you.

 

Blessings,

Leslie

 

Anne <annicole72 wrote:

October 1, 2007

 

Dear & Group,

 

Where do I begin? I know after you read what I have to say, you're all

going to hate me. But I have been working on surrendering it, but

still I feel trapped. I am beginning to hate myself for this. I want

to give up myself now. Give myself up to Shakti. I'm a real bad

person. I hate myself right now. I'm so ashamed of myself.

 

I hate myself because I am very shallow. I don't know when I started

to become this way. I just know that ever since I was in my late

teens, everything my friends or what other people think or say

mattered to me. Maybe it's my upbringing since my family are very

judgmental. Maybe I did not realize it or was not aware I am becoming

like them in a way.

 

When it comes to dating, my family and friends always have a say to

the person I am attracted to or whoever is courting me. Looks and

professional status always mattered. My girl friends are very

judgmental. If they see that the guy isn't good looking enough, tall

enough or if one has a lousy job or uneducated, they look down on the

guys. They tell me, you can do better than that. It's always important

for my family that the guy should be well-educated, has a decent

family background, a decent professional job etc. Back home in the

Philippines, the younger generations are all about brand names stuff.

Brand names this, brand names that. When a foreigner or someone with

high status visits or walks inside a shopping mall, sales people are

very nice and treat them with special attention and service. I

remember when I walked inside a mall looking my best, they treat me

really well and everyone are very nice. All the sales people are

rushing my way to be of service to me. But once, I walked into my

favorite boutique looking not that great, some sales people gave me a

look like " Can you afford to buy these? " I was also insulted when this

same sales person had the nerve to show me the price tag of this item.

I was visiting back home – this happened about 4 years ago.

 

I have this problem that when my friends do not think that a guy who

is interested in me is not good looking enough or tall enough etc, he

cannot pass or be accepted. They tell me what they think and even

though it hurt my feelings, I just swallow it up and the more I think

about it, the more I don't want to be with that guy anymore. I would

start to think about crazy things such as, what would my kids look

like if I end up marrying this guy. My relatives both on my mom and

dad's side – well especially my mom's side – they are all very rich.

Some of my cousins are actually snobby. I remember, my aunts always

reminded me to behave a certain way or else it would be shameful in

the eyes of our relatives. If one of my cousins did not finish college

or earn a degree, they feel sorry and look down on you. If one of my

cousins ends up marrying one of the house workers, they really treat

and look at them differently. They don't trust that person to go

inside a certain room in the house for fear that they would steal etc.

But if one has earned a degree and has a nice decent professional job,

then that person is welcome to eat with at the dining table.

 

Well, my dad is a herbalist and my mom helps him sell his products.

There are a lot of vendors who orders from us. While I was visiting in

2003, my mom had lent me her cell phone. I stayed there for 3 months.

I was healing from a broken heart from a 5 yr relationship. Anyway,

sometimes I would receive text messages from these vendors since it is

my mom's phone. I just relay the messages to my mom. Well, I was

befriended by one of my mom's customers. I've never spoken to or seen

this person. I just know that he has a lot of ailments. We were in

touch until I flew back to Chicago. A month later, a dear aunt of mine

became very ill. She was hospitalized with Pneumonia/Liver Cirrhosis

(she does not smoke). She was on ventilator. My aunt whom I live with

(mom's sister) and my cousin flew back home to be with her as she

wasn't going to live that long. I had to wait for my uncle (aunt's

husband) to get us a ticket from his work (United Airlines) to follow

them. While waiting (since there is usually a waiting list), I got a

hold of this man back home. I knew he's a Christian too. I knew about

the laying on of hands to heal the sick. I asked him if he could go to

the hospital where my aunt is staying to lay hands on her. But he

could not make it. None of my Christian friends could make it. I was

getting frustrated waiting for my uncle to find a seat to fly back

home. Then, we received a phone call that my aunt is dying and just

waiting for me to arrive before they would disconnect her from the

ventilator. I was so crushed. First, I was crushed from a recent break

up, then crushed again or shattered because of my aunt's death.

Frustrated and disappointed at the thought that none of my Christian

friends could go there to help her. I felt helpless because I was a

million miles away. I was so upset because I didn't have a chance to

see her one last time to say goodbye and tell her I'm sorry for being

such a brat and disobedient niece. I wanted to say sorry for talking

back to her every time she compared me with everyone's children who

were better than I am because they think they are successful, have a

lot of money, etc.... whatever else they can think of to compare me

with other people who are better or up there. I was upset that I was

not able to say I'm sorry for being stubborn and most of all to tell

her that I love her. She's one of my aunts who raised me. She was very

strict. None of them accepts my conversion to Christianity. I think if

they know what I am practicing now, they all would do everything in

their power to put me in a convent to convert back to being a

Catholic. Most of my relatives especially on my mom's side, I have a

lot of aunts and uncles who are priests and nuns.

Anyway, when I arrived to the Philippines, it was too late. It was the

day of her wake. I was so upset that I did not make it. I could not

save her.

 

Meanwhile, this man (mom's customer) kept calling our house and my

cousins were teasing me that I have a new boyfriend. It was really

annoying because I don't even know who that person was. The more he

called, the more it really irritated me. My cousins would not stop

teasing me. I wanted to tell this man to stop harassing me. I was also

upset that none of my friends nor he could help to save my aunt.

 

At the cemetery, that man came but we were already leaving. I was with

my cousins (mom's side) – snobby side. When my cousin saw the man,

well, she gave him a disgusting look. Of course, he does not fit in.

So she gave him this look. I really felt ashamed. I also felt bad and

embarrassed to be seen or to let my cousin know that I know him

through the phone, but that was the first time I had seen him face to

face. He gave me a letter, but I tore it apart when we drove off. I

felt ashamed and bad. I was worried about what my cousins would think.

I wanted to disappear. But my guilty conscience would not leave me as

we were having a family meal right after the funeral. I felt bad that

this old man who has some ailments had to travel far just to go to my

aunt's funeral to meet me and give me that letter – he said sorry he

could not go to the hospital to help my aunt. I really felt terrible.

I told my mom about it, but she just told me to forget all about it. I

still feel terrible and ashamed when I remember it.

 

I still have that problem until now. I caught myself being shallow

again with this guy I just met – the one I mentioned who seems really

nice. He is really nice – almost too good to be true nice. Ughh!! What

is wrong with me?? I need help. Why do I compare him with my ex who is

6 feet tall? He is not bad looking. My friends actually thinks he is

good looking and he is a real nice guy. He is everything my ex is not.

He has a lot of pluses and maybe just 2 minuses. Why do I hold on to

someone who doesn't pay attention to me over someone who does? I don't

know what I'm going to do with myself. I really don't like myself – my

shallow self. My shallow self reminds me of my family. Actually I am

not tall. I'm only 5'2. This guy is 5'9, but why do I think he is

short? When I wear heels, we're almost the same height. I guess my

shallow self expects someone taller??!! Ughh. I am writing this

declaration to surrender myself to Shakti. I don't want to have

anything to do with my shallow self anymore. Please take her away from

me. She is a really mean and bad person. I don't like this side of me.

I'm really ashamed of everything. I want to hide in a cave right now.

 

Sorry, this has gotten so long. I just needed to vent it all out and

surrender. Thanks for reading.

 

Anne =(

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

oneSearch: Finally, mobile search that gives answers, not web links.

 

 

[Guest guest]

Anne, I ehco what everyone else is saying to you...you have taken a huge step to

share this with us, and I commend you! You have stated your INTENTION to break

this pattern of perceiving and responding in your life...that is strong and

deliberate. You can succeed. And, like Sarita said, if you really were shallow

you would likely not be aware of it...if you did realize it, you wouldn't care.

You've been 'playing a part,' in a sense, dictated to you by family and friends,

a part that isn't right for you...and now you've decided to step out of that

role and let the real you shine. Welcome to the light! May it illuminate the

beauty and compassion that characterize the true you!

 

With love,

Claudia

 

Anne <annicole72 wrote:

October 1, 2007

 

Dear & Group,

 

Where do I begin? I know after you read what I have to say, you're all

going to hate me. But I have been working on surrendering it, but

still I feel trapped. I am beginning to hate myself for this. I want

to give up myself now. Give myself up to Shakti. I'm a real bad

person. I hate myself right now. I'm so ashamed of myself.

 

I hate myself because I am very shallow. I don't know when I started

to become this way. I just know that ever since I was in my late

teens, everything my friends or what other people think or say

mattered to me. Maybe it's my upbringing since my family are very

judgmental. Maybe I did not realize it or was not aware I am becoming

like them in a way.

 

When it comes to dating, my family and friends always have a say to

the person I am attracted to or whoever is courting me. Looks and

professional status always mattered. My girl friends are very

judgmental. If they see that the guy isn't good looking enough, tall

enough or if one has a lousy job or uneducated, they look down on the

guys. They tell me, you can do better than that. It's always important

for my family that the guy should be well-educated, has a decent

family background, a decent professional job etc. Back home in the

Philippines, the younger generations are all about brand names stuff.

Brand names this, brand names that. When a foreigner or someone with

high status visits or walks inside a shopping mall, sales people are

very nice and treat them with special attention and service. I

remember when I walked inside a mall looking my best, they treat me

really well and everyone are very nice. All the sales people are

rushing my way to be of service to me. But once, I walked into my

favorite boutique looking not that great, some sales people gave me a

look like " Can you afford to buy these? " I was also insulted when this

same sales person had the nerve to show me the price tag of this item.

I was visiting back home – this happened about 4 years ago.

 

I have this problem that when my friends do not think that a guy who

is interested in me is not good looking enough or tall enough etc, he

cannot pass or be accepted. They tell me what they think and even

though it hurt my feelings, I just swallow it up and the more I think

about it, the more I don't want to be with that guy anymore. I would

start to think about crazy things such as, what would my kids look

like if I end up marrying this guy. My relatives both on my mom and

dad's side – well especially my mom's side – they are all very rich.

Some of my cousins are actually snobby. I remember, my aunts always

reminded me to behave a certain way or else it would be shameful in

the eyes of our relatives. If one of my cousins did not finish college

or earn a degree, they feel sorry and look down on you. If one of my

cousins ends up marrying one of the house workers, they really treat

and look at them differently. They don't trust that person to go

inside a certain room in the house for fear that they would steal etc.

But if one has earned a degree and has a nice decent professional job,

then that person is welcome to eat with at the dining table.

 

Well, my dad is a herbalist and my mom helps him sell his products.

There are a lot of vendors who orders from us. While I was visiting in

2003, my mom had lent me her cell phone. I stayed there for 3 months.

I was healing from a broken heart from a 5 yr relationship. Anyway,

sometimes I would receive text messages from these vendors since it is

my mom's phone. I just relay the messages to my mom. Well, I was

befriended by one of my mom's customers. I've never spoken to or seen

this person. I just know that he has a lot of ailments. We were in

touch until I flew back to Chicago. A month later, a dear aunt of mine

became very ill. She was hospitalized with Pneumonia/Liver Cirrhosis

(she does not smoke). She was on ventilator. My aunt whom I live with

(mom's sister) and my cousin flew back home to be with her as she

wasn't going to live that long. I had to wait for my uncle (aunt's

husband) to get us a ticket from his work (United Airlines) to follow

them. While waiting (since there is usually a waiting list), I got a

hold of this man back home. I knew he's a Christian too. I knew about

the laying on of hands to heal the sick. I asked him if he could go to

the hospital where my aunt is staying to lay hands on her. But he

could not make it. None of my Christian friends could make it. I was

getting frustrated waiting for my uncle to find a seat to fly back

home. Then, we received a phone call that my aunt is dying and just

waiting for me to arrive before they would disconnect her from the

ventilator. I was so crushed. First, I was crushed from a recent break

up, then crushed again or shattered because of my aunt's death.

Frustrated and disappointed at the thought that none of my Christian

friends could go there to help her. I felt helpless because I was a

million miles away. I was so upset because I didn't have a chance to

see her one last time to say goodbye and tell her I'm sorry for being

such a brat and disobedient niece. I wanted to say sorry for talking

back to her every time she compared me with everyone's children who

were better than I am because they think they are successful, have a

lot of money, etc.... whatever else they can think of to compare me

with other people who are better or up there. I was upset that I was

not able to say I'm sorry for being stubborn and most of all to tell

her that I love her. She's one of my aunts who raised me. She was very

strict. None of them accepts my conversion to Christianity. I think if

they know what I am practicing now, they all would do everything in

their power to put me in a convent to convert back to being a

Catholic. Most of my relatives especially on my mom's side, I have a

lot of aunts and uncles who are priests and nuns.

Anyway, when I arrived to the Philippines, it was too late. It was the

day of her wake. I was so upset that I did not make it. I could not

save her.

 

Meanwhile, this man (mom's customer) kept calling our house and my

cousins were teasing me that I have a new boyfriend. It was really

annoying because I don't even know who that person was. The more he

called, the more it really irritated me. My cousins would not stop

teasing me. I wanted to tell this man to stop harassing me. I was also

upset that none of my friends nor he could help to save my aunt.

 

At the cemetery, that man came but we were already leaving. I was with

my cousins (mom's side) – snobby side. When my cousin saw the man,

well, she gave him a disgusting look. Of course, he does not fit in.

So she gave him this look. I really felt ashamed. I also felt bad and

embarrassed to be seen or to let my cousin know that I know him

through the phone, but that was the first time I had seen him face to

face. He gave me a letter, but I tore it apart when we drove off. I

felt ashamed and bad. I was worried about what my cousins would think.

I wanted to disappear. But my guilty conscience would not leave me as

we were having a family meal right after the funeral. I felt bad that

this old man who has some ailments had to travel far just to go to my

aunt's funeral to meet me and give me that letter – he said sorry he

could not go to the hospital to help my aunt. I really felt terrible.

I told my mom about it, but she just told me to forget all about it. I

still feel terrible and ashamed when I remember it.

 

I still have that problem until now. I caught myself being shallow

again with this guy I just met – the one I mentioned who seems really

nice. He is really nice – almost too good to be true nice. Ughh!! What

is wrong with me?? I need help. Why do I compare him with my ex who is

6 feet tall? He is not bad looking. My friends actually thinks he is

good looking and he is a real nice guy. He is everything my ex is not.

He has a lot of pluses and maybe just 2 minuses. Why do I hold on to

someone who doesn't pay attention to me over someone who does? I don't

know what I'm going to do with myself. I really don't like myself – my

shallow self. My shallow self reminds me of my family. Actually I am

not tall. I'm only 5'2. This guy is 5'9, but why do I think he is

short? When I wear heels, we're almost the same height. I guess my

shallow self expects someone taller??!! Ughh. I am writing this

declaration to surrender myself to Shakti. I don't want to have

anything to do with my shallow self anymore. Please take her away from

me. She is a really mean and bad person. I don't like this side of me.

I'm really ashamed of everything. I want to hide in a cave right now.

 

Sorry, this has gotten so long. I just needed to vent it all out and

surrender. Thanks for reading.

 

Anne =(

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

oneSearch: Finally, mobile search that gives answers, not web links.

 

 

[Guest guest]

Oh for goodness sakes, Anne, you aren't a BAD person nor do we hate you! You

have learned hard lessons, are learning still and to see is to begin to

understand and hopefully continue to learn. Blessings and listne to Chrism...he

knows what he's talking about!

We still love you,

Valarie

 

 

 

Check out the hottest 2008 models today at Autos.

 

 

[Guest guest]

Bless you Anne, you are loved. You are in a perfect place right now

for much growth to take place.

 

Love & many blessings,

Linda

 

, Valarie Vousden

<vjvousden wrote:

>

> Oh for goodness sakes, Anne, you aren't a BAD person nor do we hate

you! You have learned hard lessons, are learning still and to see is

to begin to understand and hopefully continue to learn. Blessings and

listne to Chrism...he knows what he's talking about!

> We still love you,

> Valarie

>

>

>

> Check out the hottest 2008 models today at Autos.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for emails and messages. It makes me cry.

 

Anne =(

[Guest guest]

You are perfect Anne, we all love you very much,

thankyou for allowing us to be a part of your growth

and thankyou for adding to ours.

What an intimate and special friendship we all share

on this list.

Most people here know more about me then my

parents...hee hee.

Blessings dear one

Elektra x x x

 

 

_________

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[Guest guest]

Blessings Anne, remember your beautiful light within... it shines

always! love & light ~Jen~

 

, " Anne "

<annicole72 wrote:

>

> Thanks for emails and messages. It makes me cry.

>

> Anne =(

>