Guest guest Posted October 11, 2007 Report Share Posted October 11, 2007 I don't know where else to turn for right now and I know you're all on a conscious spiritual path ... I need guidance.... I promise to be open to what you say. my mind has been going a mile a minute with angry thoughts and comments and judgements in regard to my father ... I know we're on earth for soul growth and that no family is picture perfect... but I just feel so mad and it's really making me tired. This isn't my life... this isnt how I want it to be... I have goals to be joyful and light-based and this is making me look like a jackass (when it was my father and his family that were the ones who mistreated me).... ((((( and I already know that he was mistreated when he was younger and so were his family through the generations but it hasnt made a lasting impression on me))))) my father sees things differently than I do and all of his problems he makes about other people (controlling, feels badly about his weight - emotional eater - so he always watched what me and my brother ate and made comments)... I could name a ton of things but I don't think the law of attraction would respond kindly to me if I did that... is this part of kundalini? is this my ego trying to hold onto the anger while my soul is shooing it away? could someone explain in more detail the forgiveness aspect? I've been doing my best with this stuff for awhile ... driving in my car I say " I forgive you, dad... " over and over... .... and now last night he said he thinks I have a lot of past things still bothering me about he and my moms divorce (I live with him) and he wants me to talk to a therapist about " the divorce " ... my anger is about mistreatment and that I had believed all of the things he said about me as a kid... and that he is so critical and instead of getting help, he has a huge ego and has to be " on top, controlling, always right " ........... I've been helping myself in a healing process for four years now and he hasnt and yet -I- have to go to the therapist??? The kicker was he said " ...do it for me? " He then asked, " do you trust me? " I said " no... " I don't know what to do, guys... I know how I sound... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2007 Report Share Posted October 11, 2007 you are in a tough spot - living with him - i have the same type of anger toward my dad - it took me until i was 35 to realize that he was a human being and one of god's creatures and i loved him for being that however i hated- yes hated the way he acted and the things he said - it is not easy to do but try to separate the person from the actions - i still struggle with it but over time it is easier - i refused to go to his funeral causing family mayhem but i had to take care of me - being around negativity is not good - you can try to forgive what he did and does - and YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIKE HIM!!! that too was a lesson i learned late in life - one does not have to like everyone around you - there are just some people that do not work well with me nor i them - i can be friendly - nice - keep away from them if i can - i love them as god's creatures but i just do not like them - that is ok- we are taught to love everyone - and we equate love = like - no no no they are two separate traits - you are not the bad lady here - and you are not the only one struggling with this - i find comfort in knowing i am not the odd one out - i found a few books on forgiveness in the library - they seem to be helping - thinking of you loro 239-980-9090 Take the Internet to Go: Go puts the Internet in your pocket: mail, news, photos & more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2007 Report Share Posted October 11, 2007 , Thank you so so much. ... what were the books that you read? I have been trying affirmations... has anyone ever tried that for parental forgiveness? , loro . wrote: > > you are in a tough spot - living with him - > i have the same type of anger toward my dad - it took me until i was 35 to realize that he was a human being and one of god's creatures and i loved him for being that however i hated- yes hated the way he acted and the things he said - it is not easy to do but try to separate the person from the actions - i still struggle with it but over time it is easier - i refused to go to his funeral causing family mayhem but i had to take care of me - being around negativity is not good - > > you can try to forgive what he did and does - and YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIKE HIM!!! > > that too was a lesson i learned late in life - one does not have to like everyone around you - there are just some people that do not work well with me nor i them - i can be friendly - nice - keep away from them if i can - i love them as god's creatures but i just do not like them - that is ok- we are taught to love everyone - and we equate love = like - no no no they are two separate traits - > > > you are not the bad lady here - and you are not the only one struggling with this - i find comfort in knowing i am not the odd one out - > > i found a few books on forgiveness in the library - they seem to be helping - > > thinking of you > > > > loro > 239-980-9090 > > > > Take the Internet to Go: Go puts the Internet in your pocket: mail, news, photos & more. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2007 Report Share Posted October 11, 2007 Many of us here have had a less then idyllic family or childhood, I guess it's part and parcel of the kundalini path. To forgive those closest to us is often the hardest thing to do, strangers are far easier as we feel more betrayed by those who are supposed to be our unconditional foundations. I did not speak to my mother for over 7 years. I found that distance was one fundamental part of the whole process, you may think seriously about finding your own place to live, I think it's too aggrevating to live with someone who enflames you every week. How can you forgive when someone continues pouring salt in to the wound on a daily basis? I really think you will find more peace once you have moved out. Whatever you finacial condition or situation ask the universe to help you and manifest your way out of there. Then, when you have a peaceful sanctuary to live in you will find forgiveness becomes more easily achieved. Just my thoughts. Hope it helps. It worked for me. :-)) Love and hugs Elektra x x x _________ Answers - Got a question? Someone out there knows the answer. Try it now. http://uk.answers./ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2007 Report Share Posted October 11, 2007 This is a toughie. The K WILL bring up anger and rage, issues you still need to deal with. It will amplify the feelings you already have. This is why the forgiveness is stressed so deeply here. You need to work on that above all else imho, before trying to move ahead with an awakening. I was mistreated by my father and his (now ex) wife. I am now 37 years old and only last year forgave him. I sat down with him and told him all that I felt, much of it made him angry but I didn't care. I told him all that he did to hurt me and then I forgave him. You will know when you forgive someone because the weight will leave your shoulders, it is often a physical sensation. You will know that it is really forgiveness when you think of an event and it no longer makes you angry, hurt or red in the face with shame. Unforgiveness hurts us much more than the person we need to forgive. They go on with their lives and don't know that we are dying inside. There is a quote that I think sums it up: " The grudge you hold on to is like a hot coal that you intend to throw at somebody else, but you're the one who gets burned " ~ Buddha Forgivenss is not easy, it is not pretty, but it is essential in order to progress on your spiritual path. It is like water to the soul. Holding on to past hurts can literally kill us a little bit at a time. Just because you forgive someone does not mean you have to put up with what they do. You are not required to be abused over and over. If you need to remove yourself from a situation, that is ok if you do it in love and not anger. Good luck to you Kristin! We are here for you, nobody is judging. Sarita , " iliveincolor " <kcaccio wrote: > > I don't know where else to turn for right now and I know you're all > on a conscious spiritual path ... > > I need guidance.... I promise to be open to what you say. > > my mind has been going a mile a minute with angry thoughts and > comments and judgements in regard to my father ... > > I know we're on earth for soul growth and that no family is picture > perfect... but I just feel so mad and it's really making me tired. > This isn't my life... this isnt how I want it to be... I have goals > to be joyful and light-based and this is making me look like a > jackass (when it was my father and his family that were the ones who > mistreated me).... > > ((((( and I already know that he was mistreated when he was younger > and so were his family through the generations but it hasnt made a > lasting impression on me))))) > > my father sees things differently than I do and all of his problems > he makes about other people (controlling, feels badly about his > weight - emotional eater - so he always watched what me and my > brother ate and made comments)... > > I could name a ton of things but I don't think the law of attraction > would respond kindly to me if I did that... > > is this part of kundalini? is this my ego trying to hold onto the > anger while my soul is shooing it away? could someone explain in > more detail the forgiveness aspect? > > I've been doing my best with this stuff for awhile ... driving in my > car I say " I forgive you, dad... " over and over... > > ... and now last night he said he thinks I have a lot of past things > still bothering me about he and my moms divorce (I live with him) > and he wants me to talk to a therapist about " the divorce " ... my > anger is about mistreatment and that I had believed all of the > things he said about me as a kid... and that he is so critical and > instead of getting help, he has a huge ego and has to be " on top, > controlling, always right " ........... I've been helping myself in a > healing process for four years now and he hasnt and yet -I- have to > go to the therapist??? > > The kicker was he said " ...do it for me? " > > He then asked, " do you trust me? " > > I said " no... " > > I don't know what to do, guys... I know how I sound... > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2007 Report Share Posted October 11, 2007 Hello Kristin! I felt the need to send some writings to you. For the past 2 weeks, I keep hearing the name " Mahatma Ghandi " . I knew OF him, but didn't know anything about him. I felt that there must be a reason that I'm hearing his name over and over again, and so yesterday morning, I began reading about him. There WAS a reason. Many people have come to me in the past week with questions just like yours! Let me share some quotes with you from Ghandi: “You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind.” “Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn't have it in the beginning " “Whenever you are confronted with an opponent. Conquer him with love.” “Nobody can hurt me without my permission.” “If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.” “They cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them.” " You must be the change you want to see in the world " " If we change the way we look at things, the things we look at will change " There are a few things I would like to say. Think of your thoughts as sparks. Nothing that we do comes without thought. When we think about something, we feed the spark. When we give even more thoughts to that 'thing', the spark becomes a flame. We can eventually keep feeding that thought with more thoughts, and then the flame becomes a full blown fire. We are the ones who give power to our thoughts. Sometimes we give so much power to our thoughts, that thoughts begin to rule 'us', instead of us ruling the thoughts. We must own our own power and our own energy. If we let someone elses thoughts and actions consume us, we have handed over our power to them. We must take our own power back. Each of us is a very powerful creator. Noone else can create our lives for us but ourselves. We create our lives on our own, on a daily basis, on a minute by minute basis, whether consciously or sub consciously. We make choices, tons of choices every day. We must choose how we wish to live, and follow that choice. We must make a conscious decision to do this. It is tough, but we can do this. To forgive is an action, a process of love and truth to ones self. I'm talking about LOVE. Love who is we are. Love is what we are made up of. If there is anything that makes us feel less than joyfull, less than love, these feelings are not coming from our Spirits. Love and Light, Leslie iliveincolor <kcaccio wrote: I don't know where else to turn for right now and I know you're all on a conscious spiritual path ... I need guidance.... I promise to be open to what you say. my mind has been going a mile a minute with angry thoughts and comments and judgements in regard to my father ... I know we're on earth for soul growth and that no family is picture perfect... but I just feel so mad and it's really making me tired. This isn't my life... this isnt how I want it to be... I have goals to be joyful and light-based and this is making me look like a jackass (when it was my father and his family that were the ones who mistreated me).... ((((( and I already know that he was mistreated when he was younger and so were his family through the generations but it hasnt made a lasting impression on me))))) my father sees things differently than I do and all of his problems he makes about other people (controlling, feels badly about his weight - emotional eater - so he always watched what me and my brother ate and made comments)... I could name a ton of things but I don't think the law of attraction would respond kindly to me if I did that... is this part of kundalini? is this my ego trying to hold onto the anger while my soul is shooing it away? could someone explain in more detail the forgiveness aspect? I've been doing my best with this stuff for awhile ... driving in my car I say " I forgive you, dad... " over and over... .... and now last night he said he thinks I have a lot of past things still bothering me about he and my moms divorce (I live with him) and he wants me to talk to a therapist about " the divorce " ... my anger is about mistreatment and that I had believed all of the things he said about me as a kid... and that he is so critical and instead of getting help, he has a huge ego and has to be " on top, controlling, always right " ........... I've been helping myself in a healing process for four years now and he hasnt and yet -I- have to go to the therapist??? The kicker was he said " ...do it for me? " He then asked, " do you trust me? " I said " no... " I don't know what to do, guys... I know how I sound... Fussy? Opinionated? Impossible to please? Perfect. Join 's user panel and lay it on us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2007 Report Share Posted October 11, 2007 one book is " forgive for good " by Dr. Fred Luskin he teaches forgiveness at stanford - it follows some of the safeties - the other is the power of apology by beverly engel - just getting into that one - i look thru and pull out what makes sense for me - " forgiveness does not mean condoning the behavior those who have hurt us. forgiveness is a choice that we make to release our past and heal our present " i just take it one day at a time - i have lots to work on thinking of you loro 239-980-9090 Shape in your own image. Join our Network Research Panel today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 11, 2007 Report Share Posted October 11, 2007 Hi Kristin, very constructive postings made by the group. Your mention of visits to therapy reminded me of a struggle I had in dealing with someone. I checked in to a psychologist to get help. He asked me " Think of 5 reasons why you dislike the person? " . I rattled them off within 30 seconds. Then I was asked to name ONE redeeming quality. I struggled and gave some token point. Quizzed to give another 5 reasons for dislike, 3 came pretty quickly then nothing ........ He changed the subject and we talked trivia a few minutes, at the end of which he'd figured my sub-conscious had had time to do some auditing and asked me for some good points again. Reluctantly, I listed a few... and that was it - end of session !! Time away from the person helped get my feelings into balance. Down the track, I recognised some of the person's frailties were also some of mine. Love - John. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Thank you for sharing these quotes! Amanda ---- Original Message ---- i_ama_lighthouse Re: letting go of the past Thu, 11 Oct 2007 09:22:23 -0700 (PDT) >Hello Kristin! I felt the need to send some writings to you. For the >past 2 weeks, I keep hearing the name " Mahatma Ghandi " . I knew OF >him, but didn't know anything about him. I felt that there must be a >reason that I'm hearing his name over and over again, and so >yesterday morning, I began reading about him. There WAS a reason. >Many people have come to me in the past week with questions just like >yours! Let me share some quotes with you from Ghandi: > > “You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy >this body, but you will never imprison my mind.” > > “Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe >I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I >believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn't >have it in the beginning " > > “Whenever you are confronted with an opponent. Conquer him >with love.” > > “Nobody can hurt me without my permission.” > > “If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely >acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the >beginning.” > > “They cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it >to them.” > > " You must be the change you want to see in the world " > > " If we change the way we look at things, the things we look at will >change " > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.