Guest guest Posted October 11, 2007 Report Share Posted October 11, 2007 made a good point, Kristin...especially where family is concerned, forgiveness is a big issue...along with discerning love from like. My tough relationship is with my sister...she blames everything and everyone ELSE for her life circumstances...she takes no responsibility for her own plight. She exudes negativity, so she attracts negative circumstances. I love her dearly, she is my little sister...but I do not like her much nor enjoy being around her much. It is very important, as said, to recognize the difference between the behavior and the person. You can dislike, even loathe, the behavior while still loving the person. Kristin, affirmations are fine as long as they are sincere...spending driving time or any other time chanting positive words may end up merely lulling you into a false sense of having forgiven your father instead of facing the hard work of forgiving him on a deep, gut level. Try the affirmations and see if it works....believe me, as you progress on your path toward K awakening, you will KNOW if you have really forgiven him and any other offenders....grudges will manifest as painful blockages that will impede your progress towards enlightenment. I have found that forgiveness is best if it is done like I'm talking to a therapist...as I sit down each day and confront the person who has hurt me, I talk to that person and identify the things he/she did to hurt me...and I reflect on their actions and my hurt responses...even 'talk' in my mind as myself and the other person, alternatively....as I take both sides, other realizations begin to surface and new understandings emerge that make forgiveness a little easier, and very REAL. It's gut-wrenching, but effective. You are taking an important first step, Kristin...forgiveness is not an easy task. Good for you and good luck! Love, Claudia iliveincolor <kcaccio wrote: , Thank you so so much. ... what were the books that you read? I have been trying affirmations... has anyone ever tried that for parental forgiveness? , loro . wrote: > > you are in a tough spot - living with him - > i have the same type of anger toward my dad - it took me until i was 35 to realize that he was a human being and one of god's creatures and i loved him for being that however i hated- yes hated the way he acted and the things he said - it is not easy to do but try to separate the person from the actions - i still struggle with it but over time it is easier - i refused to go to his funeral causing family mayhem but i had to take care of me - being around negativity is not good - > > you can try to forgive what he did and does - and YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIKE HIM!!! > > that too was a lesson i learned late in life - one does not have to like everyone around you - there are just some people that do not work well with me nor i them - i can be friendly - nice - keep away from them if i can - i love them as god's creatures but i just do not like them - that is ok- we are taught to love everyone - and we equate love = like - no no no they are two separate traits - > > > you are not the bad lady here - and you are not the only one struggling with this - i find comfort in knowing i am not the odd one out - > > i found a few books on forgiveness in the library - they seem to be helping - > > thinking of you > > > > loro > 239-980-9090 > > > > Take the Internet to Go: Go puts the Internet in your pocket: mail, news, photos & more. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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