Priest Sipping Vodka - last joke/I'm sleepy

[Guest guest]

Priest Sipping Vodka

 

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

 

After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

 

The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous on the

pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. if I start to

get nervous, I take a sip. "

 

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the

sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

 

Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note

on the door:

 

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.

2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.

7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy,

Junior and the Spook.

8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don't

say he was stoned off his ass.

10. We do not refer to the cross as the " Big T. "

11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, " Take this

and eat it for it is my body. " He did not say " Eat me "

12. The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry, "

13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks

for the grub, yeah God.

14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's,

not a Peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's!

[Guest guest]

You saved the best for last! Good night sweet Dhyana. The angels have fluffed

up your pillow and they are awaiting to sing a glorious lullaby! Sweet dreams.

Love,

Becky

 

 

Recent Activity

 

5

New Members

 

40

New Photos

 

Visit Your Group

Moderator Central

get help and provide

feedback on Groups.

 

Cat Zone

Connect w/ others

who love cats.

 

Be a Better Planet

Share with others

Help the Planet.

 

 

 

.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

OK, now I'm wiping tears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

ROTFLMAO,

Claud

 

novalees <Novalees wrote:

Priest Sipping Vodka

 

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

 

After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

 

The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous on the

pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. if I start to

get nervous, I take a sip. "

 

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the

sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

 

Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note

on the door:

 

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.

2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.

7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy,

Junior and the Spook.

8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don't

say he was stoned off his ass.

10. We do not refer to the cross as the " Big T. "

11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, " Take this

and eat it for it is my body. " He did not say " Eat me "

12. The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry, "

13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks

for the grub, yeah God.

14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's,

not a Peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's!