Hello Everyone

[Guest guest]

Hello All,

My name is Travis. I'm 24 years old and I 'm a new member. I started to write a

post

explaining all that I have experienced in my process but I realized it would be

about 10

pages long so I will just say thank you to all of you for being here and

offering support in

these very exciting and mysterious times. I won't go into to too much of my

story but I will

say that while my kundalini was activating I was in Hawaii and it was partially

aided and

not so aided by the use of psychedelic plants. I didn't really know how volatile

a

combination meditation, yoga, reading spiritual texts of all manner, and

psychedelics

could potentially be when combined with the awesome spiritual power of Hawaii

but I

found out for better and for worse. I know that this is frowned upon in certain

circles but

all I can say is that I have had good intentions as anyone on the path does and

this was

part of my process. I would like to share every detail with everyone but as an

introduction I

will just say that I had a very intense down trip after a very intense up trip

and I am

struggling to balance my energies again. I went through a period for about 6

months

where I did not feel in my body or connected with any thing. It was the most

indescribable

suffering I can possibly imagine and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It was truly

hell. I

couldn't sleep for 51/2 months for any more than about 2 and a half hours a

night and my

consciousness completely diminished to nothing but a very abusive linear verbal

dialogue

in my head. after several months of working with a nervous system energy healer

I had a

shamanic soul retrieval and began to feel present enough in my body again to

really begin

healing. It has been 3 months since the soul retrieval and my energies are

beginning to

stabilize again but I am having some difficulty staying grounded and working

through the

fear and grief that has locked up my heart. I am having glimpses again of the

joy of life

and the bliss of oneness. I can feel the love inside so intensely it feels like

I'm going to

explode but because of the trauma that has bunched up I'm having a really hard

time just

letting it out. My heart is constantly beating very rapidly and I get into fear

and lose my

connection again. But the clouds have definitely been parting periodically.

I've been doing

the 5 rites and the safeties and loving kindness meditations but after a few

days of making

significant headway the negative bogs me back down and drains me again. I'm just

writing

to join in and asking for the love and support of the community to help me

ground and

know that I can get through these blocks.

Love,

Travis