Weird Dream, following forgiveness prayers.

[Guest guest]

Last night, the strangest thing happened.

I had been praying, and for the first time, I was able to open

my heart enough to thank God for any part my father played in making me who I am

today. I offered prayers of gratitude for all that I've had in my life..etc.

Then I fell asleep.

I've had a strange pain, inside my right rib, and after re-positioning myself

on the bed several times, I finally slipped away to dreamland.

 

My strange dream;

In my dream, I was at my great uncle's house, along with my mom and my three

brothers. I had been on the computer, and had stumbled upon a site for some

company who sells baskets of oranges and such. They were advertising the need

for someone to act as a mediator between the company and its employees, for

those who have just been disciplined or terminated or such. I thought it was a

pretty lousy thing to do, because it seemed as if they were trying to tell the

employees that it's all in their head; that the company is a great company, and

they just must've done something wrong.

 

It was a job that could be done from the computer, and I researched one of the

cases, and got a special feeling for the person, and found myself aching to

help.

I had been against working as this job description, but something compelled me

to do it, and I followed. I spoke with this first person, a woman, over the

internet, and heard her story. I found myself meeting her in person; comforting

her and listening to her tales of woe of her hard life, and being the shoulder

for her to cry on. Even though I was there to do a job, and she knew it, she

noticed I was neglecting it and focusing on her. She was so grateful for someone

to talk to.

I gave her all my understanding and I just listened and listened as she talked

about her life and confided in me and cried and poured out her heart. Even

though I had not wanted to do that job, because it seemed like the company was

trying to make itself look better, but rather than the company's agenda, I gave

my heart. And rather than speaking of whatever punishment she was receiving from

the company, for whatever they alleged she did, I was letting her lean on me, as

she

poured out her heart. As our visit came to an end, and I turned to leave, I

was feeling as though I neglected my duty, and I was glad that it was just a

trial period, because I didn't think I'd want to follow by their guidelines

anyway.

Then, I realized as she was waving to me, gratefully, that I had helped in so

many ways, and that her mind is sorted out now, and if there is anything she is

supposed to understand about her status with that company, it will come to her

now. I didn't want to be that person. The one who lives for the bad company, and

so I had made my own plan, and I reached out and helped in my own way.

 

Suddenly, I was back in my great uncle's house, and it was as if I'd never left

at all. I was just getting up from the computer, and telling my mom as we all

sat down for dinner, about how I researched that company, and what position they

were looking for, and that I was thinking of giving it a try..just for one day.

 

She said something negative about my decision, and let me know that she couldn't

believe I would even consider such a thing, and that I'd better change my mind.

I tried to tell her the positive things I could do to help these people, but she

turned her back to me and said " Get away from me. " She wouldn't turn around to

look at me. The pain of those words shot right through my heart, and I found

myself screaming at her with all of my strength, saying " Well I'm not thankful

for you! I'm not thankful for you giving me this existence! I'm not thankful for

you putting me here, when you knew what I'd have to go through! I'm not thankful

for that! "

 

I thought I was going to fall, with the strength of those emotions. I doubled

over in pain as tears welled in my eyes, but didn't come out. For some reason, I

turned around to look behind me, and saw them coming from my oldest brother's

eyes instead. I felt great sorrow for a moment, because he was feeling my pain,

and I didn't want him to feel bad. I was thankful for my mom, but I just said

that out of anger, because I wanted her to feel sad, just like she made me feel

sad. Then when she would shout for me to take it back, I would..and I'd

apologize, too.

Instead, she just coldly walked away, and I began to run after her.

 

Instead of settling things, she was just leaving me. I was crying hard, as she

had quickly gotten away. I was making my way down the steep steps of my uncle's

old house, crying to myself, saying " I can't take this anymore. I can't, I just

can't do it anymore. " My brothers ran after me, not knowing what I would do.

Almost halfway down the steps, something grabbed me. It had my arm up behind my

upper back, and it was squeezing me really hard. It was sharp, like pinching,

and the pain and fear shot through me and made my freeze in my tracks..and my

sight faded to black for a moment.

 

Then it stopped, and I turned to look.

It was a white bird. My middle brother, Steve saw it grab me with its beak, and

he ran and pulled it off and ran to throw it far from me. My brother Rick picked

up the cordless phone, and was calling someone as he stood at the top of the

steps, saying " The same thing that happened at dad's house, is happening now. "

Other birds were coming down. They were all different; some were brown, some

black. They only swooped down at me, one else. I kept running down the steps,

and ran toward the street, but it was a black tunnel and my mom was swiftly

walking through it. I was calling to her, but she didn't want to have anything

to do with me anymore, so she wouldn't listen or turn around.

 

The End

 

What's strange, is that when I woke up, I felt feverish and I was sweating.

Although I'm not sick. I felt really disoriented, and I was crying hard and felt

as if I'd really been there.

 

Strangely enough, I've been asking for a light to shine on what it is that

swiftly

passes through my mind, right before I go into a seizure. A few things stand out

in my mind;

1) was the fact that my mom was leaving me because she was upset.

 

When I was very little, my sister would throw horrible temper tantrums and our

mom would say " I'm leaving! You don't deserve to have a mother. " I was between 2

and 3, and I'd have my head out the window, screaming for her to come back, and

when I'd wear myself out, I'd fall to the floor and cry myself to sleep.

It seems I'm being shown this.

 

 

2) is the bird who wouldn't let go of me, who was squeezing me with his beak.

 

This is the biggest thing; because when I go into a seizure, many times I find

myself standing in a leaning sort of way; which is how I would be pulled through

the house with my arms twisted up behind my back, as a child, by my father.

 

I do believe this dream was sent to show me what I've been asking to know.

So forgiveness and gratitude were the answer after all. For when I prayed with

my whole heart, and offered these two, I received the answer to what's plaguing

me.

 

 

Just thought I'd share that with you, my K brothers and sisters.

Wishing you all love..peace and blessings,

Tara

 

 

 

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