New Member (Shy)

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A warm welcome to you, Scott! I'm so happy to know that our website is the

first beacon of hope you have seen in a long time! None of us is here by

accident...you were meant to join us. You will be amazed to find what a loving

and supportive group of people this is...I think you will feel at home perhaps

for the first time in your life.

 

I'm so happy that you will be sharing your kundalini path with us,

 

many blessings to you,

Claudia

 

staticjade <staticjade wrote:

Hello,

 

My name is Scott, I'm 28 from Australia.

 

First of all Thank you for inviting me to your group and thank you for

running it.

 

I've been acutely introverted and reclusive my entire life, which is

why I'm writing to you personally.

 

I'll give you a little back story on myself. Always felt different

from other kids in my younger years which has continued into early

adulthood, several profound instances of Telepathy in my youth.

 

At age 12 I entered a phase (to borrow from you own mini-biography on

the forums) that I'll simply refer to as 'Hell', another name that

seems relevant to this event I've come across would be 'Shaman's Death'.

 

Extremely high sensitivity to Energy in general (not that I knew it at

the time), constant acute Telepathic and Empathetic perception during

every single waking moment (the thoughts and emotions were very strong

and in massive persistent quantities, they were also indistinguishable

from my own thoughts and emotions, they also weren't very clear).

 

This event has continued for the past 16 years, left me

psychologically crippled (since it didn't let up), extremely

socially-retarded (I haven't developed anywhere near what the majority

of human-beings do relative to my age), there was a minor alleviation

after a few years from the start of this time, and an extreme

re-emurgance in the last 2 years or so.

 

I dare not go into the specifics of this occasioning, it's simply too

painful and traumatic, suffice to say, I'm surprised I lived (nothing

short of miraculous that I've made it to this age if you ask me), I

honestly can't imagine what I did to deserve such extreme cruelty,

pain and suffering, but I'm familiar with the concepts of balance, and

the principle that 'nothing in life is free', so I assume there's some

sort of conclusion to my struggle, even if it is a quick painless

death at the end of my time here.

 

Anyway, I've been trying to practice psychic abilities for about 4

years, I know it's in there, and extremely potent, but I simply can't

manifest it. Shielding was the only skill I was pursuing, as I

believed it impairative to my survival, let alone any chance of

starting to lead a normal (or at least, remotely happy) existence, In

a single instance I, largely by accident, managed to achieve this, the

results were profound and a bit scary. I was transformed into an

extremely serene, wise and benevolent person, it only lasted 3 or 4

hours and I haven't been able to achieve this since. This was

approximately 18 months ago.

 

In my current circumstance, as of about the last 2 years or so, I've

been a shut-in (most of my life actually, just more extreme in this

period of time), not having the capacity to even tolerate the presence

of my parents or even my dogs for the briefest of periods. I've been

trapped in my room, and have had incredible difficulty leaving the

confines of the house because the energy outside would hit me really

hard. For quite a while there, I couldn't have the window open in my

room because it was simply too unpleasant. (I believe that physical

matter acts as some sore of minor barrier to energy, at least that's

what this discovery lead me to believe).

 

For the past 9 months I had also been spending about 20~22 hours a day

in bed, with the covers pulled up (again, as a physical barrier,

couldn't tolerate just lying there uncovered). Obviously I couldn't

sleep that much, so I've been engaging in extremely engrossing

daydreams, some lasting days as a method of coping with my circumstance.

 

I've always lived with my parents, having never moved away, couldn't

fend for my self under these circumstances.

No friends or any particular socially engaging contact since age 12

when it all started. Couldn't tolerate being around people.

 

But onto more happier subjects.

 

In the period of time from 9 months to 2 years ago, maybe more, my

Heart Chakra started playing up, slowly over time the pressure was

building, it became very noticeable and frequently uncomfortable, One

night I was lying in bed and had put my hand across that area just

before dozing off. A few moments later I felt this excrutiating sharp

pain that made me think I'd had a heart-attack or some other cardiac

episode, ever since then I haven't been able to put my hands or arms

anywhere near my Heart Chakra or chest in general, can't even hover

them 3 inches away from it without the pressure starting to rise. My

arms can't be tucked close to the side of my ribs for the same reason.

Even my thoughts seemed to make it react, I couldn't even

differentiate whether it was positive or negative thoughts that were

causing the reaction.

 

Approximately 7 or 8 days ago I started my most recent attempt to get

back into practicing psychic abilities, reading forums for something I

might have missed that would explain my in-ability to achieve, when I

came across a link for Indigo Adults, I joined the group and read most

(if not all) of their post. I immediately identified with the

characteristics they define as a Crystal Child/Adult, as apposed to

Indigo. Their particular philosophy on the process of 'Awakening'

was 'Saturn's Return', dictating that people would go through a

transition/awakening at the age of 28 or so (conveniently my age)

relative to the planets returning the the same stage they were at

birth. Personally I think this might just be a convenient time keeping

similarity.

 

There were an immense amount of single, lonely mothers and housewives

just looking for contact, or the knowledge that they were special,

which they were and are, they just have to recognize it for themselves.

 

But there wasn't much information relative to my particulars, a lot of

venting psychological issues and (dare I say it) 'role-playing'. In

one of the posts was a referal to your site KAS-1. I ignored it in

the first instance, but the word 'Kundalini' kept coming up in

different places over and over again, 4 or 5 times, so I eventually

looked into it and found that the symptoms of a Kundalini awakening

were almost identical to their definition of Awakening symptoms.

 

I read about 1/2 the post on the KAS group over the first 2 days, then

took more interest in practicing for the last 3 or 4, profound results

have ensued.

 

Disturbingly for me my situation started improving rapidly the day

after I went to the Indigo Adults website. Quite frankly the whole

experience of the last week or so, just happening to come across these

sites at the same time as I started to change strikes me as more that

coincidence.

 

I'll dictate the particulars of this period as accurately as I can.

 

On Day One I awoke to find everything a lot more quieter (regarding

telepathic/empathetic noise) I could concentrate a lot easier, and

even moving through the air (energy) wasn't exhausting, as it had been

for many, many years now. It also wasn't as difficult or unpleasant to

go outside in the sunshine/wind/general environment.

 

I hadn't practiced anything, this simply happened, probably just the

passage of time and coming to a point in my life.

 

This is more than my life had improved in the past 16 years, if this

is the only thing that happens from recent events, I can live with it,

I simply can't denote how much easier this has made daily life.

 

I can't remember much of Day two, I was too busy reading the KAS-1

group. But things seemed to continue improving in regards to the

above, I was a lot more content and happier, slightly more serene

even. I did the Tibetans and Chakra Breathing, which helped me

rediscover the Chakras I hadn't notice for a few years. Excluding the

Heart Chakra which was highly noticeable and active 24/7 for years

before this.

 

On Day Three, I started doing the Tibetans and Safeties, and that

night I meditated for the first time in over a year, because of the

changes listed above, it was much easier and reaped some noteworthy

results. It took about 20 minutes or so to quieten down, then i

entered a deeper meditative stage, immediately i noticed an intense

pressure, even pain in my heart chakra, this lasted about 15~20

minutes and I let it continue.

 

At about that time it (the pressure, energy perhaps?) disipated

started migrating north, and manifested at the left of my neck, a

small line grew down about 6 inches, then started to curve inwards

towards the center of my breastplate. after a few minutes of that, it

suddenly moved to engulf my entire left shoulder, all the way down to

the elbow, and became excruciatingly painful and intense, just

throbbing, it remained there for approximately 5~7 minutes, then the

energy returned to my Heart Chakra, leaving a painless feeling of

'energization' and presence at the area where it moved away from (I

noticed 2 days later that the tendons, ligaments and skin in this are

now a lot more flexible and healthy, I haven't done anything physical

to occasion this change).

 

The energy remained in my Heart Chakra for a few more minutes, then

suddenly moved again, up to the base of my skull, the first or second

vertebrae (which I now take to be the Throat Chakra). again the same

thing happened, it became intensely painful, almost to the point where

I couldn't tolerate the pain, remained for 5~10 minutes and then moved

back to the heart chakra.

 

Finally after a few more minutes it started to wrap around the left

side of my rib cage and started to become painful again, I was tired

so I stopped.

 

I went and lay down on my bed intent on continuing mediation in that

position, no sooner had a put my head back, but intense waves of

energy started engulfing my body, I don't know which direction they

came from or if they engulfed my entire anatomy, they weren't painful

like the Chakras or shoulder, from when i was meditating sitting up

but they were very high in energy, they continued at intervals between

30 seconds and a few minutes, with periods of moderate constant energy

pulsing in between these convulsions, several times I had to gasp for

breath when the energy would surge because I thought I couldn't

breathe. This continue for approximately 2 hours.

 

I was in a semi-concious or tranced state, largely imobilized, I also

didn't want it to stop. Then exhausted I rolled over and went to

sleep for what seemed to be 8~10 hours, only to awake and realize I'd

been asleep for 30~60 minutes and felt completely rejuvinated. My body

and skin felt really good for about a day after that.

 

On Day Four I did the obligatory Safeties and Tibetans in the morning,

a while after that I noticed I started to experience the 'speed-like'

affect. Try not to think to poorly of me but I had tried speed in a

single instance many, many years back, the sensation was undeniable.

This lasted 90 minutes or so, and I went back to sleep. Only to be

awakened by an instance of G.F.A., that was a new one for me, it

coincided with someone grabbing me in 'that particular area' inside

the dream I was having, you could imagine my surprise when I woke up

the find that it was actually happening.

 

I meditated that night, and again the same thing as the previous

meditation happened, took some time to quieten down and get deeper.

then my Heart Chakra started to flare up again, only this time after

it moved, it relocated several inches down (a part of my anatomy I now

take to be the stomach chakra), again intense pain, followed by the

relocation of the energy back to the heart charka, leaving the stomach

are with pleasant mild energization. I stopped there because I was

tired and went to sleep.

 

Day Five (Yesterday), Tibetans, Safeties and Meditation in the

evening, time to quieten, heart chakra energized first again, but I

couldn't concentrate so stopped, was rather dissapointed that I didn't

put more effort in, especially considering the results of the last two

Days.

 

Day Six (Today), Tibents, Safeties, Mediation which I didn't put

enough effort into, and only had the Heart Chakra sensation which

happens first and foremost everytime I meditate, going to meditate

again later to see if something happens.

 

But since the start of this time, whenever I lie down and quieten my

mind, even for a few seconds I feel my whole body pulsing from head to

toe, presumably with energy.

 

I can also put my hands near my Heart Chakra again, it isn't

constantly painful, I forgot how much I missed being about to touch my

own chest.

 

I should mention that through-out all the above listed, the normal

symptoms have persisted, some of them started up months or weeks prior

and I just attributed them to poor health,

 

Things such as drinking water like a fish, I haven't watched or had

the desire to watch television or movies for months prior, I'm not

emotionally distressed by the negative, aggressive or violent

stimulation, it just doesn't feel 'right'. Diet change, for some

reason I can't even stand the thought of eating meat (which I usually

love), let alone the smell and suddenly desire vegetables which I

usually avoid like the plague, constant heat fluctuations, both at

sporadic points and sometimes general body heat increase (If anyone

had told me breathing through my left nostril would cool me down

before I'd experienced it, I would have deemed them fit to be tied),

sleeping patterns changing, numbness in my left leg below the knee

without reason, etc, etc.

 

The symptoms just keep mounting by the day, I honestly can't remember

them all.

 

I have been doing Forgiveness and Recapitulation, but having spent

most of my life in isolation I had already made a lot of progress on

these fronts, none the less I continue with it.

 

I generally can't relate to other peoples experience in the group,

There experiences and if you'll excuse me, 'Who they are', I can't put

my finger on it, but it just seems like there's of a degree of

separation between our paths (situation normal for me), particularly

in relating to prior life experience, seems a lot of these people have

lead relatively happy and normal lives. I honestly can't imagine why

they'd pursue this, all I ever wanted was to be normal.

 

I have never experienced an OBE, I don't have visions, my dreams don't

seem of any relevance, I'm really more perceptive to tactile

sensations than visual ones, no vibrations or tremors, no particularly

noticeable sensations to do with my spine, aside from feeling much

healthier since starting the Tibetans.

 

I apologize for the length of this message, Thank you for reading it,

you must get a lot of mail.

 

I would burden you with a few questions if I may?

 

Don't feel obliged in anyway to respond.

 

1. First and foremost I'm interested to know if this is likely to be a

Kundalini awakening.

 

2. Regarding meditation, is it more advisable to be sitting with a

straight back, I seem to have a different experience when I lie down

and do it.

 

3. Must the Tongue Up, Eyes Up, Finger-tips touching protocol continue

throughout the entire meditation?

 

4. My experiences and symptoms seem to be developing quite rapidly, is

this likely to be an indication of how soon I might be ready for an

awakening?

 

5. Is this likely to be a Heart Chakra Awakening or a Spinal Sweep?

 

6. Regarding Shakipat, can an awakening occur without it? if this is

to be a Heart Chakra Awakening, does it have any effect? is it anymore

or less advisable to particapate in a Shakipat rather than achieving

it of your own accord?

 

Any diagnosis/prognosis/advice on my circumstance would be greatly

appreciated, you have my complete consent to 'view' me, don't feel

obliged to do anything, you don't owe me anything. Quite frankly if

you've read this letter I couldn't ask for more.

 

I've been waiting my entire life to something to change that I

couldn't achieve on my own, you site has given me a beacon of hope,

there might just be a better future for me after all. So my thanks to you.

 

Sincerely,

 

Scott F.

 

staticjade

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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