Guest guest Posted February 17, 2008 Report Share Posted February 17, 2008 And so, I have been sick and shivering all day long, and whilst in bed I had all this pent up sadness and aggression come out about my oldest brother Toby. He was such a horrid brother to me and took all his anger out on me and my Dad. (he had another father who let him down so he took his anger out on my dad) I actually cannot remember one nice thing he ever said or did with me when I was at home, he only told me repeatedly that he hated me and wanted nothing to do with me. My role models for the will of God have been dodgy to say the least in this life time, obviously I needed to find it by myself. And anyway, I have deduced that this lack of love I recieved from him led to my addictions. I have been totally crying and feeling awful. Yippee, breakthough moment. So, all this fever and sickness is doing something so I don't mind at all. I will let it run it's course.... I'm trying to forgive and let go as best I can. Love Elektra x x x ________ Sent from Mail - a smarter inbox http://uk.mail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2008 Report Share Posted February 17, 2008 Then I hope its course is short and well worth it! You are loved here dear sister. lisa ---- Elektra Fire <elektra.fire wrote: > And so, I have been sick and shivering all day long, > and whilst in bed I had all this pent up sadness and > aggression come out about my oldest brother Toby. > He was such a horrid brother to me and took all his > anger out on me and my Dad. (he had another father who > let him down so he took his anger out on my dad) I > actually cannot remember one nice thing he ever said > or did with me when I was at home, he only told me > repeatedly that he hated me and wanted nothing to do > with me. > > My role models for the will of God have been dodgy to > say the least in this life time, obviously I needed to > find it by myself. > > And anyway, I have deduced that this lack of love I > recieved from him led to my addictions. > I have been totally crying and feeling awful. > > Yippee, breakthough moment. > > So, all this fever and sickness is doing something so > I don't mind at all. > I will let it run it's course.... I'm trying to > forgive and let go as best I can. > > Love > Elektra x x x > > > > ________ > Sent from Mail - a smarter inbox http://uk.mail. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2008 Report Share Posted February 17, 2008 Hugs and love surround you, dear Elektra. Thank you for sharing your breakthroughs with us as the past is healed and you are freed to stretch and embrace the freedom. I love you, and cheer you on! Love, dhyana > ---- Elektra Fire <elektra.fire wrote: > > And so, I have been sick and shivering all day long, > > and whilst in bed I had all this pent up sadness and > > aggression come out about my oldest brother Toby. > > He was such a horrid brother to me and took all his > > anger out on me and my Dad. (he had another father who > > let him down so he took his anger out on my dad) I > > actually cannot remember one nice thing he ever said > > or did with me when I was at home, he only told me > > repeatedly that he hated me and wanted nothing to do > > with me. > > > > My role models for the will of God have been dodgy to > > say the least in this life time, obviously I needed to > > find it by myself. > > > > And anyway, I have deduced that this lack of love I > > recieved from him led to my addictions. > > I have been totally crying and feeling awful. > > > > Yippee, breakthough moment. > > > > So, all this fever and sickness is doing something so > > I don't mind at all. > > I will let it run it's course.... I'm trying to > > forgive and let go as best I can. > > > > Love > > Elektra x x x > > > > > > > > ________ > > Sent from Mail - a smarter inbox http://uk.mail. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2008 Report Share Posted February 17, 2008 Dear Elektra, Thanks for sharing with us what you are feeling and experiencing...it helps take the burden off of you to have to go it alone. My love goes out to you my dear friend. Many hugs are coming your way, just feel the warmth and the love that you are receiving and let it soak in. One day you will look back and see joy in the time of your life and know that some form of lesson was learned from you past. Sometimes I feel if one had a perfect life growing up, they would not have the need for more, the need to search, the need to love more than the material things. So I thank God for not having a perfect and always loving life. I thank God with all my heart for the life I have been given. Love, Katherine Elektra Fire <elektra.fire Sunday, February 17, 2008 12:46:29 PM Quitting story today, continued And so, I have been sick and shivering all day long, and whilst in bed I had all this pent up sadness and aggression come out about my oldest brother Toby. He was such a horrid brother to me and took all his anger out on me and my Dad. (he had another father who let him down so he took his anger out on my dad) I actually cannot remember one nice thing he ever said or did with me when I was at home, he only told me repeatedly that he hated me and wanted nothing to do with me. My role models for the will of God have been dodgy to say the least in this life time, obviously I needed to find it by myself. And anyway, I have deduced that this lack of love I recieved from him led to my addictions. I have been totally crying and feeling awful. Yippee, breakthough moment. So, all this fever and sickness is doing something so I don't mind at all. I will let it run it's course.... I'm trying to forgive and let go as best I can. Love Elektra x x x ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ Sent from Mail - a smarter inbox http://uk.mail. ______________________________\ ____ Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile./;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2008 Report Share Posted February 17, 2008 Much love to you Elektra... I guess the good part is that all that is in the past. The new day has it's promise, and now you (along with the K) get to choose how to craft it. :-) I hope you feel better soon. Paul > And so, I have been sick and shivering all day long, > and whilst in bed I had all this pent up sadness and Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2008 Report Share Posted February 17, 2008 Thanks everyone for your love and support! The funny thing is I woke up today feeling absolutely fine! No more anger, no more fever, had a lovely dream with lots of female energy in it, I saw a wedding at my childhood home , this girl I used to know was waiting for her groom! Hmmm? Symbolic! She wasn't really a friend when I was growing up, more of a bitch actually and yet in my dream she was my really good friend and she wanted to get married at my house as she had so many memories of love there!!! Hee hee hee. I suppose underneath anger and resentment is LOVE , thats what it taught me. Love is underneath EVERYTHING. Love to all, I am really feeling your support and really appreciate it. Sending huge hugs and love out to Kat! You go Girl too! Love and more love Elektra x x x ________ Sent from Mail - a smarter inbox http://uk.mail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 18, 2008 Report Share Posted February 18, 2008 Hi Elektra Healing - right now and some elektraheating on the way to you! Anger is difficult to let go, the alternative is it eats us up inside - we loose out not them. I always try to do everything from a departure point of love, then we all win. blessings and love nick --- Elektra Fire <elektra.fire wrote: > And so, I have been sick and shivering all day long, > and whilst in bed I had all this pent up sadness and > aggression come out about my oldest brother Toby. > He was such a horrid brother to me and took all his > anger out on me and my Dad. (he had another father > who > let him down so he took his anger out on my dad) I > actually cannot remember one nice thing he ever said > or did with me when I was at home, he only told me > repeatedly that he hated me and wanted nothing to do > with me. > > My role models for the will of God have been dodgy > to > say the least in this life time, obviously I needed > to > find it by myself. > > And anyway, I have deduced that this lack of love I > recieved from him led to my addictions. > I have been totally crying and feeling awful. > > Yippee, breakthough moment. > > So, all this fever and sickness is doing something > so > I don't mind at all. > I will let it run it's course.... I'm trying to > forgive and let go as best I can. > > Love > Elektra x x x > > > > > ________ > Sent from Mail - a smarter inbox > http://uk.mail. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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