need to talk-Carol

[Guest guest]

What a great post, Carol!! I, too, have the most trouble forgiving myself...

 

Blessings & much love to you,

Claudia

 

light248y80 <kcat wrote:

 

 

Laura Joyce,

I have also been involved in 12 step programs on and off for 12 years

now and completely get you. You are being way too hard on yourself,

as we all are inclined to once in awhile. Forgiving ourselves is the

most difficult it seems to me. I am very happy you found your way

here, and please try not to beat on yourself anymore. Many times I

will wake in the middle of the night in a sweat, feeling guilty for

something, some mistake I have made. I got this from somewhere,

don't remember where, I repeat " I am divine, I am blessed, I am

blissful, I am beautiful, I am bountiful. " Over and over until I feel

better.

 

This is part of being an alcoholic, growing up in an alcoholic

household and living in a way that caused a lot of pain for the

people I love the most, including myself.

 

We cannot change the past, we cannot control the future, there is

only the moment. Staying in the moment is a goal worth striving for.

And not trying to make the moment better or have more sensation.

 

Elektra, thank you so much for your recent posts, I have been with

you every step, I really love the prayer about the seed of addiction

and have been using it a lot. As well as praying for you and

Katherine to also succeed. I am trying to stop things addictive also.

 

Everyone, my computer died around Jan 14, I sent email to a couple

people on the list, right before it died, as well as mail to the

list. No one replied, which is completely not like these people,

especially since I was in a bad spot and was asking for help. And my

mail didn't show up on the list, which actually turned out to be a

good thing. I got my computer back after it sat in a shop for a

month, and nothing was wrong with it. Strange things are happening

with computer software and hardware for many of us. My point is, I am

sure the list will be fine. We are here for a purpose, it is a very

good one, and fear is not a good thing, ever.

 

I love you all and even if I am not posting, I am here and praying

and sending healing. And working on myself. And loving myself.

(trying) And trying to keep up with the computer issues. LOL! Love to

you all,

Carol

 

, " celticvoice6 "

<celticvoice6 wrote:

>

> Laura, I often feel confused and unsure. I think the K has helped

> me, but it also brings up our 'stuff'. We are being cleansed. I

> know that others here will give you a better take than I can, as I

> am a beginner, but just wanted you to know that I just take things

> step by step, and try to fix what I can.

> I have been away from my land of birth for 23 years and am terribly

> homesick, but cant leave my husband and son, and they wont go

> there. It is pitiful the way I watch Scottish programs on tv so I

> can see Scotland and hear their voices!

> Please tell me more about the 12 step program. What is it for?

> CV

>

>

>

>

> Kundalini-Awakening-Systems-

> 1 , " laurashomefires " <laurashomefires@> wrote:

> >

> > I need to talk to someone and share with you what I have been

> going

> > through these past few years. I am not sure where I am going with

> > this or why or even where to start but here it is. For the past

12

> > years I have been in a 12-step program and I have been working

the

> > steps with a sponsor who makes sure I do not let up. I don't know

> if

> > you are familiar with the work involved in working the 12 steps

> but

> > it can be very intense. I am not the same person who I was 12

> years

> > ago. I needed to tell you about this because what I would like to

> say

> > is that all the work I have done has got me where I am in my

> recovery

> > and I thought I was doing great, until now.

> >

> > Since coming to our group and following the Safeties I feel as

> though

> > I have done nothing. I feel like I am being ripped open and torn

> > apart. It seems everything I do needs to be adjusted. I don't

know

> > anymore if it's my mind or me or what. There is no part of my

life

> > that I feel hasn't come under scrutiny.

> >

> > Can I be this bad of a person. Is it the K or am I attacking

> myself

> > and being to hard on myself. Am I am missing something or doing

> > something wrong or not working hard enough. Is it normal to feel

> like

> > this and is this a part of the process?

> > Love and Light

> > Laura Joyce

> >

>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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