I feel stuck.

[Guest guest]

I don't know where I belong, what I should be doing or even how to go

about getting started.

 

I tried going to church agian today, a different one, the worship was

done by the young people (teens mostly) and it was very beautiful. I

enjoyed being there, very friendly people they were. I think just

about every person came over and introduced themself. A lot different

atmosphere compare to the other church I tried. More like what I am

use to in a church.

 

The sermon was on forgiveness and being in bondage from past events

and people you are needing to forgive. It brought up a lot of

subpressed memories I need to work on for sure, mostly due to the

reasons I quit going to church. Just the being in such a loving

church atmosphere, I came away with mixed feeling, my problem of

being able to trust people again. When family members hurt you it

really goes deep, even church family members. Do I really want to let

those people into my life? I don't know. If I start up a meditation

group, I would probably have to keep that part of my life from them

which would not be easy and would be a big hazzle. They advertised as

non-denominational, but they were diffinatly Pentecostal big time. I

was attracted to this one because they advertised that their goal was

to reach the children. They didn't have a lot of children, 5 or 6

teens is all.

 

It seemed strange...the person I use to be who love church more than

anything and all the doing (service to others) and being with lots of

people. Today I could barely tolerate being there around that. I'm

not so sure the church scene is for me any more.

 

I don't know how to go about starting up a meditation group either,

Chrism. To me meditation is so personel. I have never tried

meditation in a group before, to me it would be a lot like trying to

pray in a group. Just not my cup of tea at all. Sorry, Chrism. What

I would really like to do more than anything is work with children,

that is where my heart is and what I went to school/college for, even

though I did not get to complete it and get a degree. Working with

children is where I feel qualified. One of my happiest times, was one

year I gave free art lessons to a group of kids. One girl went on to

take art in college and did very well in that. She later thanked me

for giving the free lessons, which sparked her interest.

It was something I truly enjoyed doing.

 

Linda