Self Discipline

[Guest guest]

My thoughts on Self discipline-

I have very little of this. When growing up I always thought that

one needed to be " doing " then in my 30's I realized that it was OK to

just " be " to sit and do nothing – to enjoy the fact that I was here

at all- I did not have to prove how much I could do to be of worth.

That attitude has developed in to a state of laziness-unless I have a

real need to do something it does not need doing. Work always gave

me that something that needed to be done – now without work I put

things off. Many things take an extreme effort for I want to

just " be " and enjoy the " being " Of course I was not consciously

aware of any of this. Now as a K student I see all my faults

presented to me daily.

 

Why is self discipline important? Without self discipline one cannot

do a practice that is necessary for a good K experience. Just

recently some of the safeties finally make sense to me . I have set

up a plan that works for me doing the safeties on a daily basis.

This is not easy for me – I would rather do nothing – I have to force

myself to do the practice – this all stems from my wanting to

just " be " I figure the only way to make this change is to do it and

make it a habit /part of my life/ one day I may even enjoy it all –

chrism says one should go into the practice with a joy and love of

doing it – well I am not there yet – old habits of laziness are set

deep within my psyche. But I am forcing myself to do all I am

instructed to do.

One day I truly hope to enter all the safeties with joy and

abandonment but for now I will do them -just that- do them.

 

And then there are days like yesterday where I spent the entire day

working on K stuff - the doing is the key - c says get out and do

when feeling down or depressed- and I know this is true - it does

work.

 

And to day for the first time ever I did 21 tibetans all five of

them - so what is up with that?

 

Thank you for reading...