Hello Everyone from Peter

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone,

 

I am new to the group, though I know many of you from Sarita's awesome

dream group, Dream Catcher. I know only from his kindness to me

and my wife. It is good to be here. I had thought to write about how

I got here to this group and then suggested I do it, so here we

go.

 

Kate, the cat woman, and I have been married about 20 years. About

12-15 years ago we met a teacher of Chi Kung and meditation and began

studying with him. We were as far as I know, his only students and it

was intoxicating seeing his abilities and thinking we might be able to

do the same things. I was in a general chi kung class he was teaching,

and one of the students asked him a question which I don't remember. He

looked off for only a few seconds, and I realized he was asking someone

for the answer. That was when I really got interested. Kate and I

were, and mostly still are, Buddhists, and he was very conversant with

the yidams of Tibetan Buddhism. Chenrezig, the embodiment of

compassion; Tara, the embodiment of enlightened female energy;

Vajrasatva, the Buddha of mental discernment; and many others. Yidams

is a term that got translated into deities by early missionaries to

Tibet; but there really is not that denotation in Buddhism. They are

people just like us who have become enlightened and each of us has their

wisdoms within ourselves. I learned an incredible amount from him.

 

One day I was meditating and I had the experience of my life, at least

so far, I'm still open and hoping! Anyway, I was sitting and our cats

were sitting with me. I began to feel love for them, compassion. My

heart opened and I loved those silly old cats. I heard Kate in the

living room and I loved her as well. The compassion poured out of my

heart to her, accepting her just as she was, not less or more. My

attention turned to the neighborhood and as my range expanded I did not

feel diluted but somehow concentrated. Then Texas. Then the U.S. Then

the planet, I loved the planet and all the little bits of life that made

up her glorious being. The solar system, cold or hot, but still with

small bits of life. My vision expanded to this part of our milky way

galaxy and I could not follow further. I realized that I was two

people, a new self who had become Chenrezig, and Chenrezig sitting with

me and teaching me. This is the Chenrezig with 1,000 arms and eyes in

each hand to see the suffering in the world, and reach out to heal it.

Like Chenrezig I fell apart and sobbed for about 6 hours at the

suffering in the world and my own suffering. Chenrezig took me out to a

great waterfall spanning the universe and he told me the lines from the

heart sutra, " form is emptiness, emptiness is form " . He explained that

the water fall was my mind's representation of the void becoming the

universe and the universe becoming the void. Slowly I came back. He

also told me that he would be back at least once more.

 

For months I would go to the grocery store and feel a heart breaking

compassion for everyone there. Being with my wife became extraordinary.

Everyone I met or saw, I felt compassion. I have not returned to the

person I was before that experience, but day-to-day life seems fairly

normal again. I would not have had that experience had I not studied

with my old teacher and I will be grateful to him for that as long as I

live.

 

There were other things as well about entities and about learning to

psychically protect myself from them. I learned that they were mostly

hungry and would offer powers as an excuse to attach and eat my energy.

Some were evil and would offer powers or protection for obedience.

Because of growing up abused from before I was verbal, I had acquired

many of these things as a way to protect myself. Of course, they never

actually protected me from anything, but instead, nurtured my fears and

self doubt. I was never very good at detaching them either. Because of

this I came to a point where I could no longer study with my old

teacher. He never actually dismissed me, but I knew that it was time to

leave. I worked with him for about four years, and then for the last

8-10 I have been trying to evict the entities I felt inside me so that I

could go back to him and study some more. During all this time I have

felt all kinds of entities inside me and felt that I was doomed to

failure. I felt them reaching out and hurting my wife and I felt cords

going to my wife and others stealing energy, hurting people. These were

an almost daily occurrence. Kate and I had mostly stopped having sex

because that was another time that Kate felt these entities harming us,

mostly her.

 

My life had become hell. I still got up every morning and I still

laughed and did my job; but inside I was terrified.

 

With, first, Sarita's help, I began to understand that whatever had

happened with my old teacher was not all good and that I needed to

disconnect from him. Then I talked to Chrism. I detached from my old

teacher and immediately the trouble reduced drastically. I realized

that as long as I was tied to him, that I would have these problems. I

erased all emails from him and got rid of all things that reminded me of

him. Please realize, I do not see him as a bad man, or even a bad

teacher. But he was not right for me, and I wish him the best somewhere

else.

 

Kate and I have been working with Sarita and for about a month

now. And I can say that while I still have plenty to work on, the

entities are not the problem they once were. has encouraged us

to see them, not as something inside us, but something from our

families-of-origin. The more distinction we make between ourselves and

our families the better we do. He has also encouraged me to not think

of it being entities when I feel energy in my body, but just to let it

be energy. We love each other now, more than we ever have in the past.

And that little problem in the bedroom is a thing of the past!

 

It's not yet, all rosy. I still feel a huge amount of shame left over

from my abuse, and anger, and fear. Yes, Sarita, I know I don't have to

feel them, but old habits die hard. Hating myself all those years, it

seems curious to me that I didn't die, probably in an explosion of foul

smelling smoke. But what has not killed me has made me stronger. I

have learned a bit of compassion for my self.

 

Chrism, thanks for being a friend. You heard what I needed to say and

rather than trying to fix me, you showed me a way I could fix myself. I

hope to participate in the next shaktipat. I want to be that healer

that can listen to stories as strange as mine, and shed some light on

another soul's journey.

 

Well, that is my story for now, and thanks for listening.

 

Love and light,

Peter

[Guest guest]

Hi Peter! A warm welcome to our family. Thank you so much for sharing

your story. Love and welcoming hugs! dhyana

 

 

,

" peter.nichols " <peter wrote:

>

> Hi Everyone,

>

> I am new to the group, though I know many of you from Sarita's awesome

> dream group, Dream Catcher. I know only from his kindness to me

> and my wife. It is good to be here. I had thought to write about how

> I got here to this group and then suggested I do it, so here we

> go.

>

> Kate, the cat woman, and I have been married about 20 years. About

> 12-15 years ago we met a teacher of Chi Kung and meditation and began

> studying with him. We were as far as I know, his only students and it

> was intoxicating seeing his abilities and thinking we might be able to

> do the same things. I was in a general chi kung class he was teaching,

> and one of the students asked him a question which I don't remember. He

> looked off for only a few seconds, and I realized he was asking someone

> for the answer. That was when I really got interested. Kate and I

> were, and mostly still are, Buddhists, and he was very conversant with

> the yidams of Tibetan Buddhism. Chenrezig, the embodiment of

> compassion; Tara, the embodiment of enlightened female energy;

> Vajrasatva, the Buddha of mental discernment; and many others. Yidams

> is a term that got translated into deities by early missionaries to

> Tibet; but there really is not that denotation in Buddhism. They are

> people just like us who have become enlightened and each of us has their

> wisdoms within ourselves. I learned an incredible amount from him.

>

> One day I was meditating and I had the experience of my life, at least

> so far, I'm still open and hoping! Anyway, I was sitting and our cats

> were sitting with me. I began to feel love for them, compassion. My

> heart opened and I loved those silly old cats. I heard Kate in the

> living room and I loved her as well. The compassion poured out of my

> heart to her, accepting her just as she was, not less or more. My

> attention turned to the neighborhood and as my range expanded I did not

> feel diluted but somehow concentrated. Then Texas. Then the U.S. Then

> the planet, I loved the planet and all the little bits of life that made

> up her glorious being. The solar system, cold or hot, but still with

> small bits of life. My vision expanded to this part of our milky way

> galaxy and I could not follow further. I realized that I was two

> people, a new self who had become Chenrezig, and Chenrezig sitting with

> me and teaching me. This is the Chenrezig with 1,000 arms and eyes in

> each hand to see the suffering in the world, and reach out to heal it.

> Like Chenrezig I fell apart and sobbed for about 6 hours at the

> suffering in the world and my own suffering. Chenrezig took me out to a

> great waterfall spanning the universe and he told me the lines from the

> heart sutra, " form is emptiness, emptiness is form " . He explained that

> the water fall was my mind's representation of the void becoming the

> universe and the universe becoming the void. Slowly I came back. He

> also told me that he would be back at least once more.

>

> For months I would go to the grocery store and feel a heart breaking

> compassion for everyone there. Being with my wife became extraordinary.

> Everyone I met or saw, I felt compassion. I have not returned to the

> person I was before that experience, but day-to-day life seems fairly

> normal again. I would not have had that experience had I not studied

> with my old teacher and I will be grateful to him for that as long as I

> live.

>

> There were other things as well about entities and about learning to

> psychically protect myself from them. I learned that they were mostly

> hungry and would offer powers as an excuse to attach and eat my energy.

> Some were evil and would offer powers or protection for obedience.

> Because of growing up abused from before I was verbal, I had acquired

> many of these things as a way to protect myself. Of course, they never

> actually protected me from anything, but instead, nurtured my fears and

> self doubt. I was never very good at detaching them either. Because of

> this I came to a point where I could no longer study with my old

> teacher. He never actually dismissed me, but I knew that it was time to

> leave. I worked with him for about four years, and then for the last

> 8-10 I have been trying to evict the entities I felt inside me so that I

> could go back to him and study some more. During all this time I have

> felt all kinds of entities inside me and felt that I was doomed to

> failure. I felt them reaching out and hurting my wife and I felt cords

> going to my wife and others stealing energy, hurting people. These were

> an almost daily occurrence. Kate and I had mostly stopped having sex

> because that was another time that Kate felt these entities harming us,

> mostly her.

>

> My life had become hell. I still got up every morning and I still

> laughed and did my job; but inside I was terrified.

>

> With, first, Sarita's help, I began to understand that whatever had

> happened with my old teacher was not all good and that I needed to

> disconnect from him. Then I talked to Chrism. I detached from my old

> teacher and immediately the trouble reduced drastically. I realized

> that as long as I was tied to him, that I would have these problems. I

> erased all emails from him and got rid of all things that reminded me of

> him. Please realize, I do not see him as a bad man, or even a bad

> teacher. But he was not right for me, and I wish him the best somewhere

> else.

>

> Kate and I have been working with Sarita and for about a month

> now. And I can say that while I still have plenty to work on, the

> entities are not the problem they once were. has encouraged us

> to see them, not as something inside us, but something from our

> families-of-origin. The more distinction we make between ourselves and

> our families the better we do. He has also encouraged me to not think

> of it being entities when I feel energy in my body, but just to let it

> be energy. We love each other now, more than we ever have in the past.

> And that little problem in the bedroom is a thing of the past!

>

> It's not yet, all rosy. I still feel a huge amount of shame left over

> from my abuse, and anger, and fear. Yes, Sarita, I know I don't have to

> feel them, but old habits die hard. Hating myself all those years, it

> seems curious to me that I didn't die, probably in an explosion of foul

> smelling smoke. But what has not killed me has made me stronger. I

> have learned a bit of compassion for my self.

>

> Chrism, thanks for being a friend. You heard what I needed to say and

> rather than trying to fix me, you showed me a way I could fix myself. I

> hope to participate in the next shaktipat. I want to be that healer

> that can listen to stories as strange as mine, and shed some light on

> another soul's journey.

>

> Well, that is my story for now, and thanks for listening.

>

> Love and light,

> Peter

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks dhyana, I appreciate the welcome.

Peter

 

, " novalees "

<Novalees wrote:

>

>

> Hi Peter! A warm welcome to our family. Thank you so much for sharing

> your story. Love and welcoming hugs! dhyana

>

>

> ,

> " peter.nichols@ " <peter@> wrote:

> >

> > Hi Everyone,

> >

> > I am new to the group, though I know many of you from Sarita's awesome

> > dream group, Dream Catcher. I know only from his kindness

to me

> > and my wife. It is good to be here. I had thought to write

about how

> > I got here to this group and then suggested I do it, so here we

> > go.

> >

> > Kate, the cat woman, and I have been married about 20 years. About

> > 12-15 years ago we met a teacher of Chi Kung and meditation and began

> > studying with him. We were as far as I know, his only students and it

> > was intoxicating seeing his abilities and thinking we might be able to

> > do the same things. I was in a general chi kung class he was

teaching,

> > and one of the students asked him a question which I don't

remember. He

> > looked off for only a few seconds, and I realized he was asking

someone

> > for the answer. That was when I really got interested. Kate and I

> > were, and mostly still are, Buddhists, and he was very conversant with

> > the yidams of Tibetan Buddhism. Chenrezig, the embodiment of

> > compassion; Tara, the embodiment of enlightened female energy;

> > Vajrasatva, the Buddha of mental discernment; and many others. Yidams

> > is a term that got translated into deities by early missionaries to

> > Tibet; but there really is not that denotation in Buddhism. They are

> > people just like us who have become enlightened and each of us has

their

> > wisdoms within ourselves. I learned an incredible amount from him.

> >

> > One day I was meditating and I had the experience of my life, at least

> > so far, I'm still open and hoping! Anyway, I was sitting and our cats

> > were sitting with me. I began to feel love for them, compassion. My

> > heart opened and I loved those silly old cats. I heard Kate in the

> > living room and I loved her as well. The compassion poured out of my

> > heart to her, accepting her just as she was, not less or more. My

> > attention turned to the neighborhood and as my range expanded I

did not

> > feel diluted but somehow concentrated. Then Texas. Then the U.S.

Then

> > the planet, I loved the planet and all the little bits of life

that made

> > up her glorious being. The solar system, cold or hot, but still with

> > small bits of life. My vision expanded to this part of our milky way

> > galaxy and I could not follow further. I realized that I was two

> > people, a new self who had become Chenrezig, and Chenrezig sitting

with

> > me and teaching me. This is the Chenrezig with 1,000 arms and eyes in

> > each hand to see the suffering in the world, and reach out to heal

it.

> > Like Chenrezig I fell apart and sobbed for about 6 hours at the

> > suffering in the world and my own suffering. Chenrezig took me

out to a

> > great waterfall spanning the universe and he told me the lines

from the

> > heart sutra, " form is emptiness, emptiness is form " . He explained

that

> > the water fall was my mind's representation of the void becoming the

> > universe and the universe becoming the void. Slowly I came back. He

> > also told me that he would be back at least once more.

> >

> > For months I would go to the grocery store and feel a heart breaking

> > compassion for everyone there. Being with my wife became

extraordinary.

> > Everyone I met or saw, I felt compassion. I have not returned to the

> > person I was before that experience, but day-to-day life seems fairly

> > normal again. I would not have had that experience had I not studied

> > with my old teacher and I will be grateful to him for that as long

as I

> > live.

> >

> > There were other things as well about entities and about learning to

> > psychically protect myself from them. I learned that they were mostly

> > hungry and would offer powers as an excuse to attach and eat my

energy.

> > Some were evil and would offer powers or protection for obedience.

> > Because of growing up abused from before I was verbal, I had acquired

> > many of these things as a way to protect myself. Of course, they

never

> > actually protected me from anything, but instead, nurtured my

fears and

> > self doubt. I was never very good at detaching them either.

Because of

> > this I came to a point where I could no longer study with my old

> > teacher. He never actually dismissed me, but I knew that it was

time to

> > leave. I worked with him for about four years, and then for the last

> > 8-10 I have been trying to evict the entities I felt inside me so

that I

> > could go back to him and study some more. During all this time I have

> > felt all kinds of entities inside me and felt that I was doomed to

> > failure. I felt them reaching out and hurting my wife and I felt

cords

> > going to my wife and others stealing energy, hurting people.

These were

> > an almost daily occurrence. Kate and I had mostly stopped having sex

> > because that was another time that Kate felt these entities

harming us,

> > mostly her.

> >

> > My life had become hell. I still got up every morning and I still

> > laughed and did my job; but inside I was terrified.

> >

> > With, first, Sarita's help, I began to understand that whatever had

> > happened with my old teacher was not all good and that I needed to

> > disconnect from him. Then I talked to Chrism. I detached from my old

> > teacher and immediately the trouble reduced drastically. I realized

> > that as long as I was tied to him, that I would have these

problems. I

> > erased all emails from him and got rid of all things that reminded

me of

> > him. Please realize, I do not see him as a bad man, or even a bad

> > teacher. But he was not right for me, and I wish him the best

somewhere

> > else.

> >

> > Kate and I have been working with Sarita and for about a month

> > now. And I can say that while I still have plenty to work on, the

> > entities are not the problem they once were. has encouraged us

> > to see them, not as something inside us, but something from our

> > families-of-origin. The more distinction we make between

ourselves and

> > our families the better we do. He has also encouraged me to not think

> > of it being entities when I feel energy in my body, but just to let it

> > be energy. We love each other now, more than we ever have in the

past.

> > And that little problem in the bedroom is a thing of the past!

> >

> > It's not yet, all rosy. I still feel a huge amount of shame left over

> > from my abuse, and anger, and fear. Yes, Sarita, I know I don't

have to

> > feel them, but old habits die hard. Hating myself all those years, it

> > seems curious to me that I didn't die, probably in an explosion of

foul

> > smelling smoke. But what has not killed me has made me stronger. I

> > have learned a bit of compassion for my self.

> >

> > Chrism, thanks for being a friend. You heard what I needed to say and

> > rather than trying to fix me, you showed me a way I could fix

myself. I

> > hope to participate in the next shaktipat. I want to be that healer

> > that can listen to stories as strange as mine, and shed some light on

> > another soul's journey.

> >

> > Well, that is my story for now, and thanks for listening.

> >

> > Love and light,

> > Peter

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome Peter! I commend you for your candor about your background and am so

happy that your work with Sarita and is turning things around.

Everything serves a purpose and perhaps the time with your former teacher

provided not only a learning situation (that you have now 'outgrown,' which is

natural) but an unanticipated bridge to Sarita and and this group. I

wish you continued success in your spiritual growth!

 

I admire your goal:

 

" I want to be that healer

that can listen to stories as strange as mine, and shed some light on

another soul's journey. "

 

I'm proud to be walking this amazing path with you!

 

Blessings & love,

Claudia

 

 

" peter.nichols " <peter wrote:

Hi Everyone,

 

I am new to the group, though I know many of you from Sarita's awesome

dream group, Dream Catcher. I know only from his kindness to me

and my wife. It is good to be here. I had thought to write about how

I got here to this group and then suggested I do it, so here we

go.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

 

 

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much Claudia, very kind words indeed. I think you are

right every day takes us to the next. Among other things, I'm in

school getting my doctorate in psychology, to clarify that reference.

And so I think my experiences are preparing to help people who have

no other avenues.

 

Everyone here has been so nice I do feel that we are walking together,

which is good, because I don't think I can do it myself. <g>

 

What ever power I have to bless, I give it freely to you all,

Peter

 

 

 

, Claudia

<newtfoodbowl wrote:

>

> Welcome Peter! I commend you for your candor about your background

and am so happy that your work with Sarita and is turning

things around. Everything serves a purpose and perhaps the time with

your former teacher provided not only a learning situation (that you

have now 'outgrown,' which is natural) but an unanticipated bridge to

Sarita and and this group. I wish you continued success in

your spiritual growth!

>

> I admire your goal:

>

> " I want to be that healer

> that can listen to stories as strange as mine, and shed some light on

> another soul's journey. "

>

> I'm proud to be walking this amazing path with you!

>

> Blessings & love,

> Claudia

>

>

> " peter.nichols " <peter wrote:

> Hi Everyone,

>

> I am new to the group, though I know many of you from Sarita's awesome

> dream group, Dream Catcher. I know only from his kindness to me

> and my wife. It is good to be here. I had thought to write about how

> I got here to this group and then suggested I do it, so here we

> go.

>

 

> Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile.

Try it now.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome, Peter, I am new too. Your experiences were very inspiring to

me. I hope all your goals are fulfilled and then some!

With you on the journey,

alice

 

 

 

Kundalini-Awakening-Systems-

1 , " peter.nichols " <peter wrote:

>

> Hi Everyone,

>

> I am new to the group, though I know many of you from Sarita's

>awesome dream group, Dream Catcher. I know only from his

>kindness to me and my wife. It is good to be here. I had thought >

to write about how I got here to this group and then >suggested

I do it, so here we go.

[Guest guest]

Hey Alice, I enjoyed you maiden post as well. I think we will be

wonderful assets to the group! <g> It's funny, rereading it, there

was so much more I wanted to say. After feeling all the shame about

it and the shame from being an abused kid, I find that I want to talk

now. Go figure.

 

Love & Peace

(are still pretty good ideas),

Peter

 

 

 

, " Alice Sackman "

<vista.records wrote:

>

> Welcome, Peter, I am new too. Your experiences were very inspiring to

> me. I hope all your goals are fulfilled and then some!

> With you on the journey,

> alice

>

>

>

> Kundalini-Awakening-Systems-

> 1 , " peter.nichols@ " <peter@> wrote:

> >

> > Hi Everyone,

> >

> > I am new to the group, though I know many of you from Sarita's

> >awesome dream group, Dream Catcher. I know only from his

> >kindness to me and my wife. It is good to be here. I had thought >

> to write about how I got here to this group and then >suggested

> I do it, so here we go.

>