Ethics/Morality (Was Placement--)

[Guest guest]

I think we can respect someone else's choices without having to be a

party to them. If we grow away from certain people, which will

happen as we continue our spiritual growth, that does not mean that

we are obligated to continue the relationship. We don't have

to " judge " them, just make the decision that they are not for us any

longer and move on. Is it awkward? It can be, but that comes with

the territory.

 

This person is obviously where they are for a reason, since we each

have our lessons we are working on here at Earth School. As it is

unfair to project what we think someone should be, then we have to

make a decision if the relationship should continue or not.

 

Sarita

 

, Brandi Jasmine

<jazztalk wrote:

>

> At 11:08 AM 4/15/2008, you wrote:

> >We must also be aware that not all of the people with whom we come

in contact in our day-to-day lives will be operating at the same

level of morality as we are. So we must (1) be strong and confident

in our moral expression regardless of the reaction of others, (2)

honor the morality of those around us, acknowledging that they are

exactly where they need to be in their own spiritual development;

refrain from judging them by our standards.

>

> Interesting ... I have wrestled with this issue in a couple cases

in my life ... and I see a problem with that assertion. These two

statements can be mutually contradictory.

>

> How do you tell someone that the reason you are no longer speaking

them (being " strong and confident in our moral expression regardless

of the reaction of others " ) ... is that it has come to your attention

that they are " ethically challenged " (is that " honoring their

morality " )?

>

> In one case, I " suspended judgement " for a long time when it became

clear that a friend of mine was abusing his friends and business

clients. I saw things happening I was not comfortable with, and I

didn't speak up, in part because I hoped if I showed a loving

example, he would come to see the honor in it (failed at that,

utterly) and because I did not want to be perceived as " judgmental " .

The first time, I thought " maybe he made a mistake " and decided to

let it go. Then it happened again and again, and finally we had a big

blow-out ... and I decided to cut ties and move on. Was I doing this

person a favor not revealing the motivation for my actions? I am not

so certain of that. Maybe it would help him if enough people told him

the reason they keep walking out of his life is he's a rude bully who

abuses his friends and clients? Is speaking that truth " judging him

by my standards " ?

>

> I guess the question is, where it comes to ethics and morality, are

there not times when standards of judgment must apply?

>

> I think we have to judge others in these cases, if for nothing more

than self-preservation. What matters is letting go of the resentment

and attachment to outcome that come along with judgment. I understand

that he's operating from fear and he's at where he is according to

his own growth, so I don't feel judgmental. But I did have to apply

my judgment to the situation - and I think that's something missing

from a lot of the talk on this subject.

>

> Brandi

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Being aware of someone's behaviour is different from

judging it.

It's totally fine to see the truth of someone's

action, it's just how you feel inside thats the

important part.

Do you instantly forgive, do you try to change the

person?

Do you still see the divine one within them and love

them even if they are causing suffering?

But really see it, not force yourself just because you

think you " should " .

 

Unconditional love is being able to love someone no

matter what,

am I able to see the perfection within every life

stream?

 

The less judgement I feel the more I love I feel

naturally.

 

But it's not something natural, to love someone who

hurts you or others so I guess we can but try our

best, no judgement right! LOL

 

HUGZ

Elektra x x x

 

 

 

 

_________

For Good helps you make a difference

 

http://uk.promotions./forgood/

[Guest guest]

At 08:31 PM 4/15/2008, you wrote:

>So, in the case you cited, it is not judging this guy to end the friendship, it

is simply a matter of choosing to distance yourself from someone you didn't feel

comfortable around because of the way he treated friends and clients. And,

though it would be 'rewarding' to help this person to change the way he treats

people, it is not our job to help people change.

 

He was a pathological raging narcissist ... changing him was not only

impossible, it would have been dangerous <g> ...

 

>The best thing you CAN do, you DID, which was to model the kind and loving way

to treat clients. If he chose NOT to adopt the behavior you modeled...if he was

NOT ready to change, that is his choice and that is where he needs to be in his

spiritual development at this moment.

 

That was how I saw it. I appreciate the feedback on this. It isn't always easy

to make these kinds of choices.

 

Brandi