Joke--Mental Health Care Week

[Guest guest]

Oh my goodness!!! LOL!!!! I'm a mental health nurse and that was

too funny!.....well from a professional stand point it probably should

not have been, but it was!!! Thanks, Kat

>

> MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

>

> Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital

>

> Please select from the following options menu:

>

> If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly .

>

> If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you .

>

> If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6 .

>

> If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on

> the line so we can trace your call .

>

> If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to

the

> Mother Ship .

>

> If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will

> tell you which number to press .

>

> If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you

> press, nothing will make you happy anyway .

>

> If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696 .

>

> If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before

> the beep or after the beep . Please wait for the beep .

>

> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9 . If you have short-

term

> memory loss, press 9 . If you have short-term memory loss, press 9 .

>

> If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too

> busy to talk with you .

>

> If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan,

> lie down and cry . You won't be crazy forever .

>

> If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up .

>

> This coming week is National Mental Health Care week .

>

> You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one

unstable

> person to show you care .

>

> Well, my job is done . . . . . Your turn

>