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Hey. I don't know if I should be sharing this in here or not, I just

feel that when I type out or write some of my problems than I can

find solutions to them better, and I dont know, maybe this willl

help someone here.

 

I couldn't do any practices today until I got off of work. The good

part of working today with the shaktipat was that I had a lot of

patience, but otehr than that I've been feeling pretty worthless,

doubtful and powerless. I kept thinking that everyone was against

me. I started sinking in the whole thoguht that I had no friends and

all that.

 

Later I went home, I felt a bit better, I went down to the beach to

start my practice, did the chakra breathing, then tibetans to

meditation. Unfortunately I had a difficult time getting inot

meditation. This is because I had just racing thoughts suddenly of

such issues with my third chakra.

 

Obviously how could one get into meditation when they have

unresolved issues such as mine? So I didnt bother trying to force

myself into meditation. It's because my unconscious is calling for

my attention, maybe the shaktipat is trying to release some things

from this chakra.

 

I walked home almost crying over how " worthless " I am. I then asked

myself why I was so worthless...I knew I had to dig down and

remember times in my life where I'm getting these ideas. I knew that

I had to do somemore forgiving.

 

So what I do and what I've been doing for a while for my forgiveness

to others, is I go back to where an event took place, where someone

was negative to me, and just try to understand them or understand

why they treated me with such negativity. I think it is so much

easier to forgive when you understand.

 

So I did some digging with this and I found several people in my

life that put an affect on my third chakra. Main issues were from

kids at school making fun of me and a few other people who I wont

get into. I couldn't help but notice that all these people had solar

plexus chakra issues themselves and it was more like they were

treating me the way they did to cover up their 3rd chakra issues. I

mean, these people were powerless even though they seemed to be so

powerful, but really they were just vampires sucking away at my

energy to create the illusion that they had these powerful solar

plexus chakras. The did this to look better, or be more powerful.

 

So I dont know, I guess it makes me feel a little bit better that

maybe its just all an illusion that thes people have taken energy

from my 3rd chakra causing me to be this way. And I got all the

power to myself to know that I'm worth a lot more.

 

I'm still trying to deal with it. I'm trying to understand that I'm

living an illusion created by my past. And that any people who I

think don't like me or are thinking about attacking me, that I'm

only projecting my past onto them. It's really hard but I know that

I'm taking my own steps to getting through this.

 

Oh and I try to be thankful the best I can for my unconscious or for

shakti releasing all the negativity into consciousness so that they

can be dealt with.... really, these kinds of issues can't really be

skipped or forgotten, you have to go through them first. It sucks to

go through these, but it really does beat having these issues stuck

in your unconscious affecting your everyday life.

 

haha, So I'm typing this out and I get a phone call from an old

friend to hang out. It felt great because hes a great guy, and I was

in such serious thought that I had no one to hang out with that

would appriciate my company. What a weird coincidence.

 

Sorry this got long.

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At 09:26 PM 6/23/2008, you wrote:

>So I dont know, I guess it makes me feel a little bit better that

>maybe its just all an illusion that thes people have taken energy

>from my 3rd chakra causing me to be this way. And I got all the

>power to myself to know that I'm worth a lot more.

 

I have been through a lot of stuff like this and I found a great deal of the

answers to the kinds of questions you are posing in Caroline Myss' book " Why

People Don't Heal " .

 

Brandi

 

 

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Sending a Hug to you, beloved Drea.

 

I've come to learn that Shakti likes to flush things out.

As the things come up it can feel like overwhelming

emotional unbalance. The thing to remember is that what

is coming up, is going out. Forgiveness frees you to release

it, and the freedom that follows is pure bliss.

 

Hang in there! " Up and out " is my mantra during these times.

 

Love, dhyana

 

, " Drea "

<lvledusa wrote:

>

> Hey. I don't know if I should be sharing this in here or not, I just

> feel that when I type out or write some of my problems than I can

> find solutions to them better, and I dont know, maybe this willl

> help someone here.

>

> I couldn't do any practices today until I got off of work. The good

> part of working today with the shaktipat was that I had a lot of

> patience, but otehr than that I've been feeling pretty worthless,

> doubtful and powerless. I kept thinking that everyone was against

> me. I started sinking in the whole thoguht that I had no friends and

> all that.

>

> Later I went home, I felt a bit better, I went down to the beach to

> start my practice, did the chakra breathing, then tibetans to

> meditation. Unfortunately I had a difficult time getting inot

> meditation. This is because I had just racing thoughts suddenly of

> such issues with my third chakra.

>

> Obviously how could one get into meditation when they have

> unresolved issues such as mine? So I didnt bother trying to force

> myself into meditation. It's because my unconscious is calling for

> my attention, maybe the shaktipat is trying to release some things

> from this chakra.

>

> I walked home almost crying over how " worthless " I am. I then asked

> myself why I was so worthless...I knew I had to dig down and

> remember times in my life where I'm getting these ideas. I knew that

> I had to do somemore forgiving.

>

> So what I do and what I've been doing for a while for my forgiveness

> to others, is I go back to where an event took place, where someone

> was negative to me, and just try to understand them or understand

> why they treated me with such negativity. I think it is so much

> easier to forgive when you understand.

>

> So I did some digging with this and I found several people in my

> life that put an affect on my third chakra. Main issues were from

> kids at school making fun of me and a few other people who I wont

> get into. I couldn't help but notice that all these people had solar

> plexus chakra issues themselves and it was more like they were

> treating me the way they did to cover up their 3rd chakra issues. I

> mean, these people were powerless even though they seemed to be so

> powerful, but really they were just vampires sucking away at my

> energy to create the illusion that they had these powerful solar

> plexus chakras. The did this to look better, or be more powerful.

>

> So I dont know, I guess it makes me feel a little bit better that

> maybe its just all an illusion that thes people have taken energy

> from my 3rd chakra causing me to be this way. And I got all the

> power to myself to know that I'm worth a lot more.

>

> I'm still trying to deal with it. I'm trying to understand that I'm

> living an illusion created by my past. And that any people who I

> think don't like me or are thinking about attacking me, that I'm

> only projecting my past onto them. It's really hard but I know that

> I'm taking my own steps to getting through this.

>

> Oh and I try to be thankful the best I can for my unconscious or for

> shakti releasing all the negativity into consciousness so that they

> can be dealt with.... really, these kinds of issues can't really be

> skipped or forgotten, you have to go through them first. It sucks to

> go through these, but it really does beat having these issues stuck

> in your unconscious affecting your everyday life.

>

> haha, So I'm typing this out and I get a phone call from an old

> friend to hang out. It felt great because hes a great guy, and I was

> in such serious thought that I had no one to hang out with that

> would appriciate my company. What a weird coincidence.

>

> Sorry this got long.

>

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Ah thanks dhyana... and oh I understand totally...

 

speaking of which lol...

 

Somehing about typing this really triggered something for the time

being. I meditated better than earlier after typing this... and

yah.... I think I'm gonig to levitate for a while. lol. what a weird

change.

 

I hope everythings great is going for you,

:),

muchlove,

drea

, " novalees "

<dhyana wrote:

>

> Sending a Hug to you, beloved Drea.

>

> I've come to learn that Shakti likes to flush things out.

> As the things come up it can feel like overwhelming

> emotional unbalance. The thing to remember is that what

> is coming up, is going out. Forgiveness frees you to release

> it, and the freedom that follows is pure bliss.

>

> Hang in there! " Up and out " is my mantra during these times.

>

> Love, dhyana

>

> , " Drea "

> <lvledusa@> wrote:

> >

> > Hey. I don't know if I should be sharing this in here or not, I

just

> > feel that when I type out or write some of my problems than I

can

> > find solutions to them better, and I dont know, maybe this willl

> > help someone here.

> >

> > I couldn't do any practices today until I got off of work. The

good

> > part of working today with the shaktipat was that I had a lot of

> > patience, but otehr than that I've been feeling pretty

worthless,

> > doubtful and powerless. I kept thinking that everyone was

against

> > me. I started sinking in the whole thoguht that I had no friends

and

> > all that.

> >

> > Later I went home, I felt a bit better, I went down to the beach

to

> > start my practice, did the chakra breathing, then tibetans to

> > meditation. Unfortunately I had a difficult time getting inot

> > meditation. This is because I had just racing thoughts suddenly

of

> > such issues with my third chakra.

> >

> > Obviously how could one get into meditation when they have

> > unresolved issues such as mine? So I didnt bother trying to

force

> > myself into meditation. It's because my unconscious is calling

for

> > my attention, maybe the shaktipat is trying to release some

things

> > from this chakra.

> >

> > I walked home almost crying over how " worthless " I am. I then

asked

> > myself why I was so worthless...I knew I had to dig down and

> > remember times in my life where I'm getting these ideas. I knew

that

> > I had to do somemore forgiving.

> >

> > So what I do and what I've been doing for a while for my

forgiveness

> > to others, is I go back to where an event took place, where

someone

> > was negative to me, and just try to understand them or

understand

> > why they treated me with such negativity. I think it is so much

> > easier to forgive when you understand.

> >

> > So I did some digging with this and I found several people in my

> > life that put an affect on my third chakra. Main issues were

from

> > kids at school making fun of me and a few other people who I

wont

> > get into. I couldn't help but notice that all these people had

solar

> > plexus chakra issues themselves and it was more like they were

> > treating me the way they did to cover up their 3rd chakra

issues. I

> > mean, these people were powerless even though they seemed to be

so

> > powerful, but really they were just vampires sucking away at my

> > energy to create the illusion that they had these powerful solar

> > plexus chakras. The did this to look better, or be more powerful.

> >

> > So I dont know, I guess it makes me feel a little bit better

that

> > maybe its just all an illusion that thes people have taken

energy

> > from my 3rd chakra causing me to be this way. And I got all the

> > power to myself to know that I'm worth a lot more.

> >

> > I'm still trying to deal with it. I'm trying to understand that

I'm

> > living an illusion created by my past. And that any people who I

> > think don't like me or are thinking about attacking me, that I'm

> > only projecting my past onto them. It's really hard but I know

that

> > I'm taking my own steps to getting through this.

> >

> > Oh and I try to be thankful the best I can for my unconscious or

for

> > shakti releasing all the negativity into consciousness so that

they

> > can be dealt with.... really, these kinds of issues can't really

be

> > skipped or forgotten, you have to go through them first. It

sucks to

> > go through these, but it really does beat having these issues

stuck

> > in your unconscious affecting your everyday life.

> >

> > haha, So I'm typing this out and I get a phone call from an old

> > friend to hang out. It felt great because hes a great guy, and I

was

> > in such serious thought that I had no one to hang out with that

> > would appriciate my company. What a weird coincidence.

> >

> > Sorry this got long.

> >

>

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