Guest guest Posted June 25, 2008 Report Share Posted June 25, 2008 Sending you a tender hug, Tom. We can't make ourselves " worthy. " That's what Grace does. When we recognize the Love and Grace that is lavished on us as God's Children, recognizing our " unworthiness " allows us to receive it with deep gratitude, and not let the ego take credit for all the goodness that comes to us. imho Love, dhyana , " Thomas Brooks " <magick41 wrote: > > Hi Peter, Chrism, et al. > > > > As mentioned, I have gathered a lot of knowledge over the years, an > intensive study, search. One might think that this knowledge is a huge > block, a big problem for me, but I don't think that is the main issue. > > > > I think that what was behind that study is the real problem. It boils down > to the issue of 'worthiness'. As a child, and as a teenager, I had it > pounded into me, both literally and figuratively, that I am not worthy, that > I am a bad person, no good, etc, you know the drill. I spent the majority > of my life to date working to become 'worthy', pleasing to G-d, a good > person. It's strange how conditioned we are, how deeply seated it is. > Everything that is programmed in that deeply works automatically, not only > in behavior, but also as feelings, emotions, or maybe blocks of them. > > > > I've had something like this before, not as complete, but much more intense, > way back in Feb 1975. I was so open, so open to everything, had such a > strong flow of energy. It was amazing, it was such a release, it was such a > realization that the spiritual world is real, and that there is such a thing > as unconditional love given.to ME. This went on for a time, but eventually > I had a questioning thought that was really my ego talking, and the flow was > very suddenly CUT OFF! No amount of begging or pleading or apologizing to > G-d had any effect, and I sank back further into misery than I had been > before, and began acting out my unworthiness too. Such a sad story. > > > > I know it was merely the beginning of my journey, that I knew nothing, that > I was too young, and didn't know what I thought I knew. I know that now, > but I sensed it back then as well; I merely chose to ignore it. But the > main drive here was that I wanted it back! I now knew that I was not > pleasing to G-d, that I was unworthy, so I set about working on myself, > studying, searching for the answer. I didn't realize that I was merely > acting on the feeling that was the problem in the first place. > > > > Anyway, I now have to tell myself that I am worthy of this blessing, worthy > merely due to the fact that G-d put me here on this earth at this time, and > because he proved it last year by letting me live when everyone else thought > I wouldn't make it, and then leading me to this shaktipat. I know that I > interpret things in my own way, but that is for me to the best level of my > understanding and my best insights to date. > > > > I had been " Becoming Worthy " , but it is not about becoming, which is > thought, ego driven, but it is about Being what we already are. Now all I > have to do is put my money where my mouth is, so to speak. > > > > Thomas > > > > _____ > > > > > > Thank you Thomas, > > > Peter > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.