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I am just feeling a little lost and disconnected.  I feel like I am going

through the motions and that is it.  I was feeling really good on Sunday but

now, I just don't know where I am in this Shaktipat.  Yeah, and the unworthy

thing too.  Maybe not so much unworthy but questioning if I belong here.  I am

having a hard time connecting with Shakti.  I say the little prayer but it

doesn't seem to reach anyone out there.  Sometimes I feel just all alone.  I am

not really depressed or anything - still doing the safeties and doing the

practice 3X a day for Shaktipat but I am just feeling a little lost, like I am

floating at sea.  I've lost my sense of direction, anything to hold on to.  I

had a little bit of physical symptoms earlier in the week and that at least gave

me some hope that all was not in vain but now.... everything has disappeared

except a little nose pressure.

And I keep thinking about what chrism's note to me said, that my practice was

being circumvented.  I can't help but wonder how it is being circumvented and

maybe I am the one who is undermining it somehow.

-alice

 

 

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Hi Alice,

 

I'm sure will answer you, I just wanted to say something about

Shakti. She works deep...and you may not feel it with your surface

consciousness. I very seldom " feel " ANYTHING. Its been hard not having

any physical evidence of anything going on while people share all

kinds of phenomenon. But that doesn't seem to be where she's taking

me, yet things are happening in other areas. I find I just have to

surrender and trust that She knows best, and to just do my practice

and follow all guidance as it comes. At times it felt like a test,

like what is it I really want? Am I willing for this to be REAL in my

life? Do I really need physical confirmation that I'm on the right

path? Do I want to be part of the gang, or do I want my own authentic

unfolding? Maybe She was asking me these questions...

 

So I understand the lost feeling...feelings are like the

weather...wait a few minutes and they'll change. Do what you need to

do to stay balanced, do kindnesses for others, listen to good music,

dance. Find the things that make you happy, and let Shakti do her work

in the background if She wants to. I have a sneaky feeling we're

tested all the time to show us where we're at. It can be a roller

coaster emotionally if you hang everything on feelings.

 

I've been through MANY Shaktipat's and have had very little

phenomenon. You can't build on that because it ebbs and flows. Build

on commitment and surrender...solid ground that can withstand every

emotional storm that may come your way. And you will flower, I can see

it now.

 

Just a little encouragement from my heart to yours.

Love, dhyana

 

, Alice Sackman

<vista.records wrote:

>

> I am just feeling a little lost and disconnected. I feel like I am

going through the motions and that is it. I was feeling really good

on Sunday but now, I just don't know where I am in this Shaktipat.

Yeah, and the unworthy thing too. Maybe not so much unworthy

but questioning if I belong here. I am having a hard time connecting

with Shakti. I say the little prayer but it doesn't seem to reach

anyone out there. Sometimes I feel just all alone. I am not really

depressed or anything - still doing the safeties and doing the

practice 3X a day for Shaktipat but I am just feeling a little lost,

like I am floating at sea. I've lost my sense of direction, anything

to hold on to. I had a little bit of physical symptoms earlier in the

week and that at least gave me some hope that all was not in vain but

now.... everything has disappeared except a little nose pressure.

> And I keep thinking about what chrism's note to me said, that my

practice was being circumvented. I can't help but wonder how it is

being circumvented and maybe I am the one who is undermining it somehow.

> -alice

>

>

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No worries Alice,

By practice I was not referring to what you are

doing during Shaktipat but what has been occurring from a daily

standpoint with the safeties.

 

If you are not worthy Alice then none of us are! You are worthy and

so is everyone on this list who is seeking this gift. So please

continue with the practices for Shaktipat. Review what you are doing

with regards to the safeties on a daily basis outside of the

Shaktipat and see if you can find a circumvention occurring.

 

A way that may be leaking continuity of the practice or of missing

an important aspect such as forgiveness or gratitude or something

similar. Do not let this sidetrack you from the Shaktipat. Be

confident that your presence here is not an accident and that

everyone will need to attenuate their practice to some degree. -

blessings Alice - chrism

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Thank you Dhyana, took that very much to my heart myself.

Peace

 

Don

 

>

> I'm sure will answer you, I just wanted to say something about

> Shakti. She works deep...

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Dhyana,

 

Thank you for this post -- I found relevance for my own experience as

well....

 

David

 

, " novalees "

<dhyana wrote:

>

>

> Hi Alice,

>

> I'm sure will answer you, I just wanted to say something

about

> Shakti. She works deep...and you may not feel it with your surface

> consciousness. I very seldom " feel " ANYTHING. Its been hard not

having

> any physical evidence of anything going on while people share all

> kinds of phenomenon. But that doesn't seem to be where she's taking

> me, yet things are happening in other areas. I find I just have to

> surrender and trust that She knows best, and to just do my practice

> and follow all guidance as it comes. At times it felt like a test,

> like what is it I really want? Am I willing for this to be REAL in

my

> life? Do I really need physical confirmation that I'm on the right

> path? Do I want to be part of the gang, or do I want my own

authentic

> unfolding? Maybe She was asking me these questions...

>

> So I understand the lost feeling...feelings are like the

> weather...wait a few minutes and they'll change. Do what you need to

> do to stay balanced, do kindnesses for others, listen to good music,

> dance. Find the things that make you happy, and let Shakti do her

work

> in the background if She wants to. I have a sneaky feeling we're

> tested all the time to show us where we're at. It can be a roller

> coaster emotionally if you hang everything on feelings.

>

> I've been through MANY Shaktipat's and have had very little

> phenomenon. You can't build on that because it ebbs and flows.

Build

> on commitment and surrender...solid ground that can withstand every

> emotional storm that may come your way. And you will flower, I can

see

> it now.

>

> Just a little encouragement from my heart to yours.

> Love, dhyana

>

> , Alice Sackman

> <vista.records@> wrote:

> >

> > I am just feeling a little lost and disconnected. I feel like I

am

> going through the motions and that is it. I was feeling really good

> on Sunday but now, I just don't know where I am in this Shaktipat.

> Yeah, and the unworthy thing too. Maybe not so much unworthy

> but questioning if I belong here. I am having a hard time

connecting

> with Shakti. I say the little prayer but it doesn't seem to reach

> anyone out there. Sometimes I feel just all alone. I am not really

> depressed or anything - still doing the safeties and doing the

> practice 3X a day for Shaktipat but I am just feeling a little lost,

> like I am floating at sea. I've lost my sense of direction,

anything

> to hold on to. I had a little bit of physical symptoms earlier in

the

> week and that at least gave me some hope that all was not in vain

but

> now.... everything has disappeared except a little nose pressure.

> > And I keep thinking about what chrism's note to me said, that my

> practice was being circumvented. I can't help but wonder how it is

> being circumvented and maybe I am the one who is undermining it

somehow.

> > -alice

> >

> >

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Thank you , Chrism, I have made some adjustments.  Hopefully that will help, and

if not, I am content.  I am sure my practice will get stronger with time. 

And thank you, dhyana, for your kind words too.  I think you are right, things

are happening on a deep level.  I think my ego sees its imminent demise or at

least demotion and so is trying to derail me. I just suddenly had all these

doubts hit me over the head yesterday.  But on a deeper level, I am fine, I know

I am at the right place and doing the right thing.   On the surface level, there

is a lot of whining going on and even some pouting. 

Sorry about that!

-Alice

 

 

 

<>

 

Wednesday, June 25, 2008 9:15:25 PM

Re: Any thoughts for me, Chrism?

 

 

No worries Alice,

By practice I was not referring to what you are

doing during Shaktipat but what has been occurring from a daily

standpoint with the safeties.

..

 

 

 

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