dhyana's post

[Guest guest]

I've thinking about it hard since you posted. I'm envious. Which is

obviously an ego thing. Let me tell you a story about a little boy. 8

years old and severely asthmatic, so much so there was an oxygen tank in

the bedroom. You have to think about this in the right frame of reference,

we're talking close to 50 years ago. At 8 I had never gone to school, in

fact my first year of school was the fifth grade. I don't talk about this

much, it's very difficult.

I always cry when I think about it.

 

It is so vivid even today. Late one night I had a severe asthma attack. No

air, no breath. Gasping for each and every tiny breath. No air. I could

make no sound. My parents bedroom was right across the hall and I could

not muster enough breath to call for my mother. I could not move. Laying

in the bed struggling just to breath and not being able to. Darkness just

falls on you.

Sitting here crying now, but I'll try to go on. Ups and downs of K I

guess. Took a break and walked away from this post for bit. Better now.

 

I'd been to church with my parents, actually went to a summer bible school

class. I had been taught that there was a god. It is something you are

taught. At least at that age.

 

What happened was I would struggle to breath, not manage it and pass out.

Lack of oxygen. I can't tell you how many times I did this. But I would

all of a sudden come to gasping for air, like a fish out of water.

 

I started praying, asking God to help me. Then I would pass out again and

come back trying to breath. It happened enough so I got to the point of

asking God just to take me, help me stop this.I knew what death was and I

prayed for it. Just take me home. No one came to help me. No one. An 8

year old child left to deal with it. I begged for help. No one came.

 

Got to stop now and have a good cry.

 

God left me on my own, no one helped me.

[Guest guest]

Hug, Merlin. There were many places in my life where I received no

answers as well...and times I begged to die. Times when I would wake

up each morning and cry because I had to live another day. But here we

both are now, on this path, moving ever closer to our destinies.

 

Perhaps God needs to be on your list of forgivenesses. I know there

were things I needed to forgive for as well. It hasn't all been rosy.

There is great mystery to the way things unfold, and we can't see the

complete story from where we stand. But we lived through it, and are

the stronger for it.

 

Tender hug,

dhyana

 

 

, merlin wrote:

>

> I've thinking about it hard since you posted. I'm envious. Which is

> obviously an ego thing. Let me tell you a story about a little boy. 8

> years old and severely asthmatic, so much so there was an oxygen tank in

> the bedroom. You have to think about this in the right frame of

reference,

> we're talking close to 50 years ago. At 8 I had never gone to school, in

> fact my first year of school was the fifth grade. I don't talk about

this

> much, it's very difficult.

> I always cry when I think about it.

>

> It is so vivid even today. Late one night I had a severe asthma

attack. No

> air, no breath. Gasping for each and every tiny breath. No air. I could

> make no sound. My parents bedroom was right across the hall and I could

> not muster enough breath to call for my mother. I could not move. Laying

> in the bed struggling just to breath and not being able to. Darkness

just

> falls on you.

> Sitting here crying now, but I'll try to go on. Ups and downs of K I

> guess. Took a break and walked away from this post for bit. Better now.

>

> I'd been to church with my parents, actually went to a summer bible

school

> class. I had been taught that there was a god. It is something you are

> taught. At least at that age.

>

> What happened was I would struggle to breath, not manage it and pass

out.

> Lack of oxygen. I can't tell you how many times I did this. But I would

> all of a sudden come to gasping for air, like a fish out of water.

>

> I started praying, asking God to help me. Then I would pass out

again and

> come back trying to breath. It happened enough so I got to the point of

> asking God just to take me, help me stop this.I knew what death was

and I

> prayed for it. Just take me home. No one came to help me. No one. An 8

> year old child left to deal with it. I begged for help. No one came.

>

> Got to stop now and have a good cry.

>

> God left me on my own, no one helped me.

>

[Guest guest]

Busy day, out early, home late so just getting to all the new postings.

Thank you so dhyana, for the hug <I needed that> and and for sparking off

that processing. I had not thought about that for years and last night it

was like I was right back there again. Talk about roller coaster emotions.

Had a good solid cry, went to bed and woke up feeling great.

 

Thanks so much again !

 

Don

 

 

> Hug, Merlin. There were many places in my life where I received no

> answers as well...and times I begged to die. Times when I would wake

> up each morning and cry because I had to live another day. But here we

> both are now, on this path, moving ever closer to our destinies.

>

> Perhaps God needs to be on your list of forgivenesses. I know there

> were things I needed to forgive for as well. It hasn't all been rosy.

> There is great mystery to the way things unfold, and we can't see the

> complete story from where we stand. But we lived through it, and are

> the stronger for it.

>

> Tender hug,

> dhyana

>