HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

[Guest guest]

The following is an actual question given on a University of

Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was

so " profound " that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the

Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of

enjoying it as well : Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic

(gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the

students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools

when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some

variant.

 

One student, however, wrote the following:

 

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.

So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and

the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely

assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore,

no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's

look at the different religions that exist in the world

today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of

their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of

these religions and since people do not belong to more than one

religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and

death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell

to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of

the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the

temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of

Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives

two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which

souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will

increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of

souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell

freezes over.

 

So which is it?

 

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my

Freshman year that, " It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep

with you, " and take into account the fact that I slept with her last

night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is

exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory

is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not

accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only

Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which

explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting " Oh my God. "

 

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN " A "

[Guest guest]

lol

[Guest guest]

Great, and  great to know that however many joints or beers  I consumed itn the past, there is a chance that I may get into heaven,  or at least  have the  woman of my dreams. Not only k is raising.Please, don't anyone take this to heart. I am an Irish American wise guy and will be until death. I hope that I will be fun to be with until that moment and after. Love, Jake--- On Sun, 8/3/08, Linda <crazycats711 wrote:Linda <crazycats711 HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT Date: Sunday, August 3, 2008, 4:01 AM

 

 

 

The following is an actual question given on a University of

Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was

so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the

Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of

enjoying it as well : Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic

(gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the

students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools

when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some

variant.

 

One student, however, wrote the following:

 

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.

So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and

the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely

assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore,

no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's

look at the different religions that exist in the world

today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of

their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of

these religions and since people do not belong to more than one

religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and

death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell

to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of

the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the

temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of

Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives

two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which

souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will

increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of

souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell

freezes over.

 

So which is it?

 

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my

Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep

with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last

night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is

exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory

is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not

accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... .leaving only

Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which

explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

 

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN "A"

[Guest guest]

This is fantastic! Thank you for sharing it with us. I'm now going to

post it to some friends. LS x

>

> One student, however, wrote the following:

>

> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.

> So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell

and

> the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely

> assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

Therefore,

> no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell,

let's

> look at the different religions that exist in the world

> today.

> Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of

> their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one

of

> these religions and since people do not belong to more than one

> religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and

> death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell

> to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of

> the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for

the

> temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of

> Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This

gives

> two possibilities:

> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which

> souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will

> increase until all Hell breaks loose.

> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of

> souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until

Hell

> freezes over.

>

> So which is it?

>

> If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my

> Freshman year that, " It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep

> with you, " and take into account the fact that I slept with her

last

> night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell

is

> exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this

theory

> is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not

> accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving

only

> Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which

> explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting " Oh my God. "

>

> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN " A "

>