Learning to Detach and Understanding Unconditional Love

[Guest guest]

I believe that goddess Shakti and God are teaching me the true meaning

of detachment, surrender, and un-conditional love. I am aware that my

perfect partner is perfect for only me. My perfect partner/soul mate

is not really perfect per se, because he too has flaws, a past, and he

does not necessarily have the exact same interests as I do. For sure,

I would not want to date someone who was exactly like me or a mirror

image of my self. That would be annoying. My perfect partner has

similar interests as myself, but he also has his own individual

interests that are unique for him alone, that we could both

teach/learn and appreciate from each other. I am aware that only my

heart and soul can recognize him, not my mind. I am aware now that my

perfect partner does not even look like the exact description that my

mind fantasizes about or think would be good for me because he is the

perfect eye candy, which are superficial attributes.

 

At first glance, J was not my type (you all know why). In my mind, his

marital status was a red flag and a warning for me to the run for the

hills. Then, I thought about my friends/best friends (both guy(s) and

girl(s)) who got married in their mid twenties (with or without a

child) and who are now going through a divorce/annulment, just had

their divorce finalized, separated, or their spouse remarried without

bothering to take care of their divorce papers. I know people make

mistakes and learn from them/not, but just because they are now

divorced or going through one, it does not mean that they are not

allowed to have a second chance. It does not make them an alien.

 

I guess that when I was growing up, my family, relatives, church,

media, and society, etc. belief(s) and disapprovals about divorce was

instilled in my mind. Back home in the Philippines, people talk about,

look down on or remember certain people by their marital status, " Oh,

so and so, she/he is the one divorced to so and so. " I guess they are

referred as some type of alien or sinner not worthy of anyone's

respect, love, acceptance, forgiveness or friendship. When I became a

Christian, church friends would warn me not to get involved with

someone who was divorced or when a friend who was divorced is invited

to our church, one of the member of the church would say, " Did you

know she and her husband are now divorced? " It just seems there's

always something negative attached to the word. The word divorce makes

that person look bad or not worthy of anyone's time. When I said

earlier that someone who is divorced or going through one would

usually make me run for the hills, it is because of the false beliefs

(assumptions and negative ideas) that these people injected in my mind

that caused me to react negatively. I know I have best friends who are

in that situation, but it did not prevent me from staying friends with

them. One of my best friends has been divorced, and her ex- husband

has now remarried in Indonesia, though he was too lazy to file for

their divorce papers. My other best friend is working on her annulment

back home in the Philippines (there is no divorce back home), she has

a kid (her ex was abusive and a drug addict), but she is dating

someone now. Another close friend of mine just had her divorce

finalized a year ago (she has joint custody of her child with her ex)

and has now re-married. A good friend of mine is still going through

his divorce and working on joint custody of their child. I know it is

frustrating for them. They are good, successful, and professional

people. They are still my friends.

 

When I met J, that was a totally new experience and I knew there

would be BIG lessons for me to learn. Not only did I have to kill my

ego, my belief(s), faith, loyalty, patience, and strength was tested.

I never thought I would give my soul a chance to see through J. I

never thought I would listen. At first, I thought I was being

punished. After I killed my ego and realized that the quality of J's

genuine heart was more important than his physical attributes, I

learned to accept him for who he really is: his past, flaws, mistakes,

and everything he is going through. I started to care about him: his

happiness made me happy, his sadness and disappointment(s) made me

sad/disappointed. I felt his frustrations and relief. I felt emphatic

towards his thoughts and emotions, and he with mine. I also started to

see that he is a beautiful person. Not the type of beauty that my mind

accepts, defines, or sees. I guess I did not see or notice it the

first time. Sometimes my ego still pops up to tell me, " I told you so,

but you did not listen. " My ego does not pop up as much as before. I

still continue to ignore her, because I know that Shakti wants me to

learn and accept something BIG. I know that my loyalty was a big part

of the lesson. Though I know what " loyalty " means and practice it

myself, I made an in depth research of what the word really means.

Loyalty means: commitment, to stick by something or someone's side no

matter what, through thick and thin, through the good and bad times,

for better or worse, through rain or shine, through

frustrations/trials and happiness/victory, to be there for that person

through and through, not giving up, un-changing, consistent, through

weakness and strength, fidelity, faithfulness, to be someone's rock

when they are weak. Sometimes, my ego tempted me to stray, give up or

to listen to her while it's not too late, but I continued to ignore

her. Sometimes, she uses Chris as bait to brainwash me, but that does

not work for me anymore.

 

I never thought I would be capable of accepting and learn to

appreciate/love him: as he is, his past, present, and everything he is

going through. I would not change a thing about J. He still continues

to treat me well. I have met some of his friends. We are taking things

slow. We are allowing our friendship to bind us and naturally develop

into something special. I am taking baby steps. I know he is going

through a lot and I continue to be there for him no matter what. In

the beginning, I caught myself becoming attached to him and his

frustrations with the court frustrating me too. Though most lawyers

are dishonest and not fair; and having a mediator is a dead idea. I

felt that I was starting to become attached to him: expecting him to

call everyday (we did the first few weeks) and I would get frustrated

when he doesn't. I didn't like that side of me. I don't want to be

needy and definitely would not want to talk to him every single day. I

am aware that kundalini amplifies our thoughts and emotions. I also

caught my heart developing feelings of love for him. There's nothing

wrong with it, except I felt my heart was developing love too fast and

too soon. So, I was able to freeze it just before it got out of hand.

Chrism advised me to allow others to catch up with me. That's what I

am doing now. I am allowing J to catch up with me first. I am giving

him and myself space. He felt that I became distant, ignoring, or

avoiding him, but what I am doing is just slowing down my pace. I know

that some things are beyond our control, so I am allowing

God/Universe/Shakti to guide us, help him with everything he is going

through, and help me have the strength to get through these. I didn't

really know what the statement: " Let Go and Let God/Universe " meant

before. I guess this is where detachment and unconditional love comes

in. I have decided to detach myself from any outcomes or control of

whatever is going on affect me. I know that J and I are going through

our own journey and moving at our own pace. I am here and he is there.

He wants to be here where I am and I want him to be here where I am.

We both have lessons to learn along the way. As soon as he learns his

lessons, I know that he will catch up with me at the right time. If

our love is meant to be, I know that love will find a way to bring us

together in perfect harmony. If he develops love for me first, I know

that it would not be hard for me to learn to love and catch up with

him, because he is a lovable person. I know that we are both worthy of

love. So, I trust the Universe to work its magic.

 

 

Thanks for reading and sorry if I've offended anyone. If anyone of you

have some advice for me, please feel free to do so. I'm really new

with all of these. Those of you who have been divorced, what advice

can you share with me?

 

Anne

[Guest guest]

Greetings Anne,

 

Thank you for your lovely post on unexpected love. It sounds to me as

if you already love him unconditionally and this will lead you to

spreading that unconditional love to others. There should be no shame

in divorce, but because there is in some communities women and men

stay in unhappy relationships longer than they need to.

 

I had a very unhappy first marriage to a man who was mentally and

physically violent to me. He was continually unfaithful, never worked

and dealt in drugs and stolen goods. His last violent rape of me

finally led to my walking out on him, my children, my home and

business. I took nothing with me except for a small handbag. Very

soon afterwards I had a nervous breakdown and as a consequence I lost

custody of my children.

 

I finally met up with them 13yrs later after he no longer had control

of them. I spent a lot of time in therapy, slept on friends floors

and spent the winter months in a leaky caravan in the middle of a

muddy field.

 

There were many, many lessons for me to learn from this but the

hardest was to love my ex, unconditionally despite all he had put me

through. It took time but the feelings I have for him now are of love

and pity. He must be in real pain emotionally as he has never

changed, in fact he is now worse than ever in his treatment of

others. But I have forgiven him for everything, and forgiven myself

for my children's pain.

 

Just love your new man and stand by him while he works through his

life lessons. Maybe you are not meant to be together as a couple, who

knows? But you have so much to learn about yourself from this

friendship. Give him thanks.

 

Blessings, LS, x

 

, " Anne "

<annicole72 wrote:

>

> I believe that goddess Shakti and God are teaching me the true

meaning

> of detachment, surrender, and un-conditional love. I am aware that

my

> perfect partner is perfect for only me. My perfect partner/soul mate

> is not really perfect per se, because he too has flaws, a past, and

he

> does not necessarily have the exact same interests as I do. For

sure,

> I would not want to date someone who was exactly like me or a mirror

> image of my self. That would be annoying. My perfect partner has

> similar interests as myself, but he also has his own individual

> interests that are unique for him alone, that we could both

> teach/learn and appreciate from each other. I am aware that only my

> heart and soul can recognize him, not my mind. I am aware now that

my

> perfect partner does not even look like the exact description that

my

> mind fantasizes about or think would be good for me because he is

the

> perfect eye candy, which are superficial attributes.

>

> At first glance, J was not my type (you all know why). In my mind,

his

> marital status was a red flag and a warning for me to the run for

the

> hills. Then, I thought about my friends/best friends (both guy(s)

and

> girl(s)) who got married in their mid twenties (with or without a

> child) and who are now going through a divorce/annulment, just had

> their divorce finalized, separated, or their spouse remarried

without

> bothering to take care of their divorce papers. I know people make

> mistakes and learn from them/not, but just because they are now

> divorced or going through one, it does not mean that they are not

> allowed to have a second chance. It does not make them an alien.

>

> I guess that when I was growing up, my family, relatives, church,

> media, and society, etc. belief(s) and disapprovals about divorce

was

> instilled in my mind. Back home in the Philippines, people talk

about,

> look down on or remember certain people by their marital

status, " Oh,

> so and so, she/he is the one divorced to so and so. " I guess they

are

> referred as some type of alien or sinner not worthy of anyone's

> respect, love, acceptance, forgiveness or friendship. When I became

a

> Christian, church friends would warn me not to get involved with

> someone who was divorced or when a friend who was divorced is

invited

> to our church, one of the member of the church would say, " Did you

> know she and her husband are now divorced? " It just seems there's

> always something negative attached to the word. The word divorce

makes

> that person look bad or not worthy of anyone's time. When I said

> earlier that someone who is divorced or going through one would

> usually make me run for the hills, it is because of the false

beliefs

> (assumptions and negative ideas) that these people injected in my

mind

> that caused me to react negatively. I know I have best friends who

are

> in that situation, but it did not prevent me from staying friends

with

> them. One of my best friends has been divorced, and her ex- husband

> has now remarried in Indonesia, though he was too lazy to file for

> their divorce papers. My other best friend is working on her

annulment

> back home in the Philippines (there is no divorce back home), she

has

> a kid (her ex was abusive and a drug addict), but she is dating

> someone now. Another close friend of mine just had her divorce

> finalized a year ago (she has joint custody of her child with her

ex)

> and has now re-married. A good friend of mine is still going through

> his divorce and working on joint custody of their child. I know it

is

> frustrating for them. They are good, successful, and professional

> people. They are still my friends.

>

> When I met J, that was a totally new experience and I knew

there

> would be BIG lessons for me to learn. Not only did I have to kill my

> ego, my belief(s), faith, loyalty, patience, and strength was

tested.

> I never thought I would give my soul a chance to see through J. I

> never thought I would listen. At first, I thought I was being

> punished. After I killed my ego and realized that the quality of J's

> genuine heart was more important than his physical attributes, I

> learned to accept him for who he really is: his past, flaws,

mistakes,

> and everything he is going through. I started to care about him: his

> happiness made me happy, his sadness and disappointment(s) made me

> sad/disappointed. I felt his frustrations and relief. I felt

emphatic

> towards his thoughts and emotions, and he with mine. I also started

to

> see that he is a beautiful person. Not the type of beauty that my

mind

> accepts, defines, or sees. I guess I did not see or notice it the

> first time. Sometimes my ego still pops up to tell me, " I told you

so,

> but you did not listen. " My ego does not pop up as much as before. I

> still continue to ignore her, because I know that Shakti wants me to

> learn and accept something BIG. I know that my loyalty was a big

part

> of the lesson. Though I know what " loyalty " means and practice it

> myself, I made an in depth research of what the word really means.

> Loyalty means: commitment, to stick by something or someone's side

no

> matter what, through thick and thin, through the good and bad times,

> for better or worse, through rain or shine, through

> frustrations/trials and happiness/victory, to be there for that

person

> through and through, not giving up, un-changing, consistent, through

> weakness and strength, fidelity, faithfulness, to be someone's rock

> when they are weak. Sometimes, my ego tempted me to stray, give up

or

> to listen to her while it's not too late, but I continued to ignore

> her. Sometimes, she uses Chris as bait to brainwash me, but that

does

> not work for me anymore.

>

> I never thought I would be capable of accepting and learn to

> appreciate/love him: as he is, his past, present, and everything he

is

> going through. I would not change a thing about J. He still

continues

> to treat me well. I have met some of his friends. We are taking

things

> slow. We are allowing our friendship to bind us and naturally

develop

> into something special. I am taking baby steps. I know he is going

> through a lot and I continue to be there for him no matter what. In

> the beginning, I caught myself becoming attached to him and his

> frustrations with the court frustrating me too. Though most lawyers

> are dishonest and not fair; and having a mediator is a dead idea. I

> felt that I was starting to become attached to him: expecting him to

> call everyday (we did the first few weeks) and I would get

frustrated

> when he doesn't. I didn't like that side of me. I don't want to be

> needy and definitely would not want to talk to him every single

day. I

> am aware that kundalini amplifies our thoughts and emotions. I also

> caught my heart developing feelings of love for him. There's nothing

> wrong with it, except I felt my heart was developing love too fast

and

> too soon. So, I was able to freeze it just before it got out of

hand.

> advised me to allow others to catch up with me. That's what I

> am doing now. I am allowing J to catch up with me first. I am giving

> him and myself space. He felt that I became distant, ignoring, or

> avoiding him, but what I am doing is just slowing down my pace. I

know

> that some things are beyond our control, so I am allowing

> God/Universe/Shakti to guide us, help him with everything he is

going

> through, and help me have the strength to get through these. I

didn't

> really know what the statement: " Let Go and Let God/Universe " meant

> before. I guess this is where detachment and unconditional love

comes

> in. I have decided to detach myself from any outcomes or control of

> whatever is going on affect me. I know that J and I are going

through

> our own journey and moving at our own pace. I am here and he is

there.

> He wants to be here where I am and I want him to be here where I am.

> We both have lessons to learn along the way. As soon as he learns

his

> lessons, I know that he will catch up with me at the right time. If

> our love is meant to be, I know that love will find a way to bring

us

> together in perfect harmony. If he develops love for me first, I

know

> that it would not be hard for me to learn to love and catch up with

> him, because he is a lovable person. I know that we are both worthy

of

> love. So, I trust the Universe to work its magic.

>

>

> Thanks for reading and sorry if I've offended anyone. If anyone of

you

> have some advice for me, please feel free to do so. I'm really new

> with all of these. Those of you who have been divorced, what advice

> can you share with me?

>

> Anne

>

[Guest guest]

Was it hard to date someone going through a divorce? For the ones

going through a divorce, what were your biggest challenges finding a

new partner (especially for those who has kids)?

 

Anne

[Guest guest]

Anne,

My experience with divorce is that it takes TIME to get over it. Initially, I thought a year would be enough time for recovery. This is the first time in my life I have allowed myself to heal. It has been three years; and I JUST now feel I am ready to think about a relationship again. Very rarely have I met any man who is divorced less than a year who doesn't dwell on his EX..... Children are a whole different matter. Most children are not considered first when deciding to date or possibly find a new parent for them; but they very well should be for a multitude of reasons. One therapist I know says that 65% of 2nd marriages end in divorce because of stepchildren. I am not saying that you can't meet someone even before you are officially divorced, and be with them the rest of your life. But after all, what's the hurry? Finding love (the

right type) is something that can be prayed and meditated over. And the answers will come as in any other situation. (Especially with activated K)

 

Namaste,

Julie--- On Tue, 8/5/08, Anne <annicole72 wrote:

Anne <annicole72 Re: Learning to Detach and Understanding Unconditional Love Date: Tuesday, August 5, 2008, 3:04 PM

 

 

Was it hard to date someone going through a divorce? For the onesgoing through a divorce, what were your biggest challenges finding anew partner (especially for those who has kids)? Anne

[Guest guest]

Hi Anne,

 

In answer to your questions:

 

, " Anne "

<annicole72 wrote:

>

> Was it hard to date someone going through a divorce?

 

My new husband was divorced for nearly 20yrs when we met and he, like

me, had adult non-dependant children. Our children were very happy

that we found each other as we were both alone for so long and we are

both so suited.

 

For the ones

> going through a divorce, what were your biggest challenges finding a

> new partner (especially for those who has kids)?

 

I was not ever looking for a new partner as I did not believe a

suitable one could exist. It was a complete shock for us both when we

met and fell in love. While I worked in a counselling capacity I

would advise all divorced people, male or female, to not jump into

another relationship as it would not work out for the best. There are

too many unresolved issues to be worked through and it is not fair on

a new partner to pay the price of mistakes made in other peoples

marriages.

 

I would suggest living on your own for at least one month for every

year that you were married. So if the marriage lasted 12 years then

don't date for at least 12 months, and spend that time licking your

wounds and working out what you could have done differently. Not,

what 'they' should have done differently! It is important for both

parties to evaluate what they did to cause the end of the marriage,

especially if it is messy.

 

In my case I should have left the first time he hit me. It would have

saved us all so much pain and maybe it would have shown him that his

behaviour was totally unacceptable. Remember a person will only upset

you and ruin your life if YOU let them. Take control of your own

emotions and how you react to them and you should never have any

regrets.

 

I hope that helps.

 

Blessings, LS, x

>

> Anne

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, thanks for your responses. Well, J and his ex dated for 4 years

and married for 1 year. They have a 21 month old daughter together.

They separated because she cheated on him, lied a lot and has

borderline personality disorder. They've been separated for over a

year. He doesn't have custody of his daughter yet, because the judge

is giving him a very hard time. The judge favors his ex-wife's wishes,

because her dad is rich, powerful, and is very good friends with the

judge. I know he's over his ex wife. He only cares about their

daughter. He wants to have full custody of their daughter bec he does

not think the ex wife is stable enough (mentally & emotionally) to

take care of their child due to her disorder.

 

I'll be patient.

 

Anne

[Guest guest]

One therapist I know says that 65% of 2nd marriages end in divorce

because of stepchildren. I am not saying that you can't meet someone

even before you are officially divorced, and be with them the rest of

your life. But after all, what's the hurry? Finding love (the right

type) is something that can be prayed and meditated over. And the

answers will come as in any other situation. (Especially with

activated K)

 

>>Hi Julie, I was worried about that at first. After I learned that he

was divorced, I asked him questions such as: Are anyone in your family

divorced or anyone is his ex's family divorced? Would he divorce again

if he remarried? I can't help asking these questions. But no one in

his family or hers are divorced. I can't imagine living with someone

who has borderline personality disorder, but it sounds very

frustrating. Especially how she planned out the divorce, etc.. and how

she interacts with her family. I know that she was never monogamous in

her relationships. I pray that someday she will find someone she can

become monogamous with for real despite having borderline personality

disorder.

 

I'm not in a hurry. It seems overwhelming to see someone going through

these while trying to be a good father, keeping a full time job, and

being a full time student.

 

Anne

[Guest guest]

anne,

most assuredly, be his friend..............of that is made the best of life's commitments............he is in you life for a reason..........and

 

prayers for you sweet love,

julie--- On Tue, 8/5/08, Anne <annicole72 wrote:

Anne <annicole72 Re: Learning to Detach and Understanding Unconditional Love Date: Tuesday, August 5, 2008, 6:44 PM

 

 

One therapist I know says that 65% of 2nd marriages end in divorcebecause of stepchildren. I am not saying that you can't meet someoneeven before you are officially divorced, and be with them the rest ofyour life. But after all, what's the hurry? Finding love (the righttype) is something that can be prayed and meditated over. And theanswers will come as in any other situation. (Especially withactivated K)>>Hi Julie, I was worried about that at first. After I learned that hewas divorced, I asked him questions such as: Are anyone in your familydivorced or anyone is his ex's family divorced? Would he divorce againif he remarried? I can't help asking these questions. But no one inhis family or hers are divorced. I can't imagine living with someonewho has borderline personality disorder, but it sounds veryfrustrating. Especially how she planned out the divorce, etc.. and howshe interacts

with her family. I know that she was never monogamous inher relationships. I pray that someday she will find someone she canbecome monogamous with for real despite having borderline personalitydisorder.I'm not in a hurry. It seems overwhelming to see someone going throughthese while trying to be a good father, keeping a full time job, andbeing a full time student.Anne

[Guest guest]

and live (and love) in the moment not worrying about anything else..........

namaste--- On Tue, 8/5/08, Anne <annicole72 wrote:

Anne <annicole72 Re: Learning to Detach and Understanding Unconditional Love Date: Tuesday, August 5, 2008, 6:44 PM

 

 

One therapist I know says that 65% of 2nd marriages end in divorcebecause of stepchildren. I am not saying that you can't meet someoneeven before you are officially divorced, and be with them the rest ofyour life. But after all, what's the hurry? Finding love (the righttype) is something that can be prayed and meditated over. And theanswers will come as in any other situation. (Especially withactivated K)>>Hi Julie, I was worried about that at first. After I learned that hewas divorced, I asked him questions such as: Are anyone in your familydivorced or anyone is his ex's family divorced? Would he divorce againif he remarried? I can't help asking these questions. But no one inhis family or hers are divorced. I can't imagine living with someonewho has borderline personality disorder, but it sounds veryfrustrating. Especially how she planned out the divorce, etc.. and howshe interacts

with her family. I know that she was never monogamous inher relationships. I pray that someday she will find someone she canbecome monogamous with for real despite having borderline personalitydisorder.I'm not in a hurry. It seems overwhelming to see someone going throughthese while trying to be a good father, keeping a full time job, andbeing a full time student.Anne

[Guest guest]

Thank you .. I feel much better.

 

Anne

 

, Julie

<jewelport wrote:

>

>

>

>

> and live (and love) in the moment not worrying about anything

else..........

> namaste

>

> --- On Tue, 8/5/08, Anne <annicole72 wrote:

>

> Anne <annicole72

> Re: Learning to Detach and

Understanding Unconditional Love

>

> Tuesday, August 5, 2008, 6:44 PM

One therapist I know says that 65% of 2nd marriages end in divorce

> because of stepchildren. I am not saying that you can't meet someone

> even before you are officially divorced, and be with them the rest of

> your life. But after all, what's the hurry? Finding love (the right

> type) is something that can be prayed and meditated over. And the

> answers will come as in any other situation. (Especially with

> activated K)

>

> >>Hi Julie, I was worried about that at first. After I learned that he

> was divorced, I asked him questions such as: Are anyone in your family

> divorced or anyone is his ex's family divorced? Would he divorce again

> if he remarried? I can't help asking these questions. But no one in

> his family or hers are divorced. I can't imagine living with someone

> who has borderline personality disorder, but it sounds very

> frustrating. Especially how she planned out the divorce, etc.. and how

> she interacts with her family. I know that she was never monogamous in

> her relationships. I pray that someday she will find someone she can

> become monogamous with for real despite having borderline personality

> disorder.

>

> I'm not in a hurry. It seems overwhelming to see someone going through

> these while trying to be a good father, keeping a full time job, and

> being a full time student.

>

> Anne

>

[Guest guest]

anne,

not only feel "better", feel all the real love around you. drink it in, and breathe it out. life is GOOD.(God).........

i love you, and have never met you....life is full of possibilities..........

julie--- On Tue, 8/5/08, Anne <annicole72 wrote:

Anne <annicole72 Re: Learning to Detach and Understanding Unconditional Love Date: Tuesday, August 5, 2008, 7:04 PM

 

 

Thank you .. I feel much better.AnneKundalini-Awakening -Systems- 1 , Julie<jewelport@. ..> wrote:>> > > > and live (and love) in the moment not worrying about anythingelse........ ..> namaste> > --- On Tue, 8/5/08, Anne <annicole72@ ...> wrote:> > Anne <annicole72@ ...>> [Kundalini-Awakenin g-Systems- 1] Re: Learning to Detach andUnderstanding Unconditional Love> Kundalini-Awakening -Systems- 1 > Tuesday, August 5, 2008, 6:44 PM> > > > > > > One therapist I know says that 65% of 2nd marriages end in

divorce> because of stepchildren. I am not saying that you can't meet someone> even before you are officially divorced, and be with them the rest of> your life. But after all, what's the hurry? Finding love (the right> type) is something that can be prayed and meditated over. And the> answers will come as in any other situation. (Especially with> activated K)> > >>Hi Julie, I was worried about that at first. After I learned that he> was divorced, I asked him questions such as: Are anyone in your family> divorced or anyone is his ex's family divorced? Would he divorce again> if he remarried? I can't help asking these questions. But no one in> his family or hers are divorced. I can't imagine living with someone> who has borderline personality disorder, but it sounds very> frustrating. Especially how she planned out the divorce, etc.. and how> she

interacts with her family. I know that she was never monogamous in> her relationships. I pray that someday she will find someone she can> become monogamous with for real despite having borderline personality> disorder.> > I'm not in a hurry. It seems overwhelming to see someone going through> these while trying to be a good father, keeping a full time job, and> being a full time student.> > Anne>